Posts by hplasm

Anonymous hacks US gov contractor, airs dirty laundry

Are you terrified by them?

Delicate little flower.

Truck nuts swing onto US freedom of speech agenda

But...

The sticking -out ball type does tend to deter tailgaters- a little.

It's official: IE users are dumb as a bag of hammers

Jeez-

Aren't IE choosers touchy?

Russia: 'We'll dump the ISS into the sea after 2020'

It's apart of evolution!

We need to get off and stay off this mudball,or become another evolutionary footnote.

Hopefully, the Accountant will eventually go the way of the Neandertal- who was probably a better bet, future-wise.

Lost 1967 spacecraft found crashed on the Moon

Or more likely...

Arg! Tree!

Or Paladium-

0.15 grammes of it.

Dead bloke reanimates in mortuary

Known as being in

a state of Fugu...

RIM workforce decimated: 2,000 jobs slashed

Thank fuck it wasn't 300 job losses.

We'd be awash with Spartan refernces...

Utah cops baffled in case of mysterious anonymous cuffee

He's waiting-

For the arrival of the mysterious Spheres and Keanu...

End of an era: Atlantis hits the tarmac

Another era ends.

And now we return you to "The Golden Age of Ballooning..."

Microsoft rolls out One Big Windows strategy

True.

Lumpen proletriat deserve lumpen buttons.

Aha

A Balmerog and a Cave Troll... two for one!

Parmo v poutine: Your cut-out-and-keep pdf guide

Who knew...

you can laminate kebabs!

Probably keep forever, kept warm by entropy from the heat death of the Universe..

Go Friday!

Microsoft COO: Our greatest enemy is old Windows

KT...

Tunstall?

Hmm

I forgot Cap'n Jack was flyng the Disney colours...

Well done sir!

Heat sink breakthrough threatens ventblockers

Big, noisy and power hungry?

AND expensive...?

Gamers will snap them up...

Filter the smoke-

You could pass it though a tube into a couple of bags.

The bags catch the smoke particles.

You could call the bags... 'lungs' or something.

/BC

Dev's iPhone cable melts after iOS 5 upgrade

Not if it's a Beko fridge...

http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/news/LatestNewsReleases_PR1554.asp

"Potential fire hazard with Beko fridge freezers"

Anonymous smites Orlando after charity arrests

I rather think that the Humanist would say-

"Don't nail me to a fucking tree! What is wrong with you people?"

Microsoft floats 'site-ready' IE10 preview

Windows...standards...?

Oxymoron...

New plan: Send humans into space, keep the robots on Earth

The ESA guy behind this idea-

he wasn't called Waldo, by any chance?

Bloke ordered to remove offensive numberplate

Good for him!

B011LOX to the DVLA!

Microsoft hires Disney man for consumer crusade

Win8 will surpass CocaCola

As the brand most capable of rotting your teeth.

Or at least the adverts will.

French search engine seeks multi-million euro damages from Google

Perhaps

People should be more careful in their choice of words then?

"Waa!

We are crap in comparison to you. Give us some money so we don't have to improve."

Does nobody have pride in achievement any more?

Or are we becoming a race of ambulance chasers?

Anonymous claims LulzSec merger

There's a lot of braying

about Anonymous....

By Anonymous Cowards.

Sad.

600 tonne asteroid in low pass above Falkland Islands - TONIGHT

Mass packets?

Are you referring to Bug Shit?

Accused SOCA attacker reportedly 'keen' to help cops

There is probably a word

for your particular fetish.

Fridge-sized war raygun for US bombers gets $40m

Mmmmm!

"Fatal failure in Palin module..."

But like US Robotics-

Sadly disappointing.

Heinlein and Asimov rotate unhappily...

Obviously

We need bigger sharks.

UK census data is safe

Now they can program cruise missiles

on a post code basis.

Microsoft BPOS biz-cloud hit by another outage

Apt name, really.

Biz Cloud.

Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

Heads never roll..

'Lessons are learnt".

Twats.

Refusal to unveil scuppers French refusal-to-unveil trial

Racist?

Against who? Burka-wearers? Women? Islamists?

None of these are a race.

Brit CompSci student faces extradition to US over link site

It is time

for this shit to stop.

DARPA issues call for notions on Starship-for-2111 plan

Old physics will do

if you focus the sun onto a solar sail.

That a big enough power source for you?

Space Raiders

and Monster Munch.

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook

LinkedIn-

Where the professionals are...

HTC U-turns over Desire Android 2.3 update

True dat.

Whereas...iFans just run out of iAir.

Earth may be headed into a mini Ice Age within a decade

That's all alright then!

We can keep alive with just the world's smallest fire! Burn the books!

Cabinet Office talks to Facebook & co about new ID system

Also-

"Nobody could be that stupid..."

A cloud hangs over the sysadmin

And the PHBs-

will never need to leave the golf course for 'facetime' ever again.

Win. ?

Midlands council laughs at zombie-apocalypse threat

All concils should prepare-

Once the benefits are cut, allsorts will roam the streets!

But...

Cardboard won't keep zombies in...

The CDC don't think so-

http://www.bizjournals.com/atlanta/morning_call/2011/05/cdc-releases-zombie-apocalypse-alert.html

Lulz warns NHS of sick security

LGFOTBOMGS

It's the magic word that will defeat Dave's attempts to bash the NHS...

Dragon scoops Expansys into his Marlow den

Dragons don't have dens.

They have lairs. These 'dragons' act more like cuckoos.

They move in and eat all your profit.

Fie on them.

Pirate-bothering ACS:Law lawyer goes bankrupt

No.

You miss the point; the point of this story was to wind YOU up. Nobody else, just you.

Now sod off and make me a sandwich.

Farting death camels must die to save the world!

As long as it is

the guy who invented the Carbon Credit system, it's a good idea.