* Posts by Rich 11

4584 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

You're Donald Trump's sysadmin. You've got data leaks coming out the *ss. What to do

Rich 11

Re: Yawn

Aw, look, yet again it's someone who thinks that anyone with an ounce of integrity, empathy or compassion must be virtue-signalling, because obviously it's so much more important to boast about yourself and raise your social standing amongst your peers than it is to be able to sleep at night.

Tells you all you need to know about them, the small-minded conscienceless self-centred rat pricks.

Rich 11

Simple answer

Imagine yourself as Donald Trump's sysadmin.

OK. First, I'd resign out of principle, effective immediately. Second, I'd take a dump in the fireproof safe before resigning.

NHS patient letters meant for GPs went undelivered for years

Rich 11

"Not my fault, guv..."

Tony Pepper, co-founder and chief exec of data security company Egress, said the NHS's reliance on paper records is partly to blame for the systematic screw-up.

Yet knowing the NHS uses paper, you still went ahead and bid for the contract to deliver the letters. Hmm.

Gov wants to make the UK the 'safest place in the world to go online'

Rich 11

If you've never seen multiple crewmembers murdered by an anti-matter Mr Hyde you've never lived.

Autonomous cars are about to do to transport what the internet did to information

Rich 11

Re: Instead of delivery, build on-site

or for stuff that started out alive.

Several teams are already working on 3D-printed meat. Admittedly they won't be able to do that for a fresh egg (well, for some time anyway) but an omelette might not be so far off.

Bee boffins prove sesame-seed brain is all you need to play football (well, that explains a lot)

Rich 11

In light of this remarkable footballing evidence...

...my respect for the demonstrated cognitive abilities of David Beckham has risen. I apologise for once describing him as having the brain of a nematode worm, capable only of following the scent of money.

New UK laws address driverless cars insurance and liability

Rich 11

Re: failed to "install software updates to the vehicle’s operating system - hmm

this seems to suggest that the public highways will in effect become a beta testing ground

Since beta testing should clearly comprise a smaller set than the full customer group, I propose that Slough should become the beta testing ground. And they can use Swindon for the alpha.

Rich 11

Re: 30 years....

HOW THE F%&K DID YOU GET YOUR CAR ON THE DLR TRACKS!!!!!

My car is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Well, at least approximately that old and noisy.

More brilliant Internet of Things gadgetry: A £1,300 mousetrap

Rich 11

£1300?!!!

At that price they must have paid for a proper security review of their IoT device and... no, who am I kidding...

Rich 11

Re: Cat

And I've two of the little bastards

Dump the cats and get children instead. They won't chuck food around and crap on your... no, forget it, stick with the cats.

US judge halts mass fingerprint harvesting by cops to unlock iPhones

Rich 11

About a dozen years ago my then-boss was excited to get a brand new laptop, complete with fingerprint sensor. "Look at this, Rich11," he enthused. "This is much better than your AD password policy, a lot more secure!" "Really?" I said, pulling out my pocket knife and opening up the blade.

I always did enjoy watching comprehension dawn on his face. The opportunities were frequent.

Radioactive leak riddle: Now Team America sniffs Europe's skies for iodine isotope source

Rich 11

Re: "Constant Phoenix"

Stupid name, trying too hard to be cool.

It'll be one of those computer-generated US military nomenclatures, following the adjective-noun pattern. I keep hoping that some bored grunt will add a few words of their own to the lists, so that we can look forward to a four-star general codenamed Strident Fuckwit and a black site called Farty Towels.

Just a suggestion, buds, just a suggestion.

Amid new push to make Pluto a planet again... Get over it, ice-world's assassin tells El Reg

Rich 11

Re: 110 planets?!

Astrology is always easy: just make shit up.

Rich 11
Joke

Re: just wait for the 9th planet

And no, "Tellus" is not the official name of Earth.

Of course it isn't: that's Terra.

Neuromorphic progress: And we for one welcome our new single artificial synapse overlords

Rich 11

Re: Thinking Machines.

Isn't it just as likely we'll combine with a neural lattice to enhance our own abilities

Or just use sapho juice.

'Hey, Homeland Security. Don't you dare demand Twitter, Facebook passwords at the border'

Rich 11

Re: I'm a US citizen

We got permission from the airline to do so beforehand, and they had their lawyers sign off on it as well.

Which airline was that? I think they deserve a bit of positive publicity.

Automated, insight cannot be: Jedi master of statistics was good – but beware the daft side

Rich 11

Re: RIP Hans

One of the few maths presenters I would have gone out of my way to watch.

Like Johnny Ball, but for adults.

Come to think of it, both Ball and Rosling could communicate perfectly well to both children and adults without making one group feel left out.

UK Snoopers' Charter gagging order drafted for London Internet Exchange directors

Rich 11

Re: Cheers Tory voters - United kingdom = worst kingdom

It could be worse - think what happened to the economy last time we had an ex-Chancellor as PM.

You won't see me defending Brown on many points, but one thing is for certain: the global economic crash was caused by the exposure of the long-running subprime mortgage racket in the US in 2007 and the subsequent collapse of Lehman Brothers in 2008, not by the economic policies of Gordon Brown. Blair, Brown and Mandelson were responsible for 'light-touch' regulation which didn't help, but do you really think a putative Tory chancellor at the turn of the millennium would have been insisting that London-based banks maintain higher reserves and undergo more rigorous stress tests? The decisions of the past nine years have been bad enough, with the banks not required to meet new regulations until 2019, and will that survive Brexit? Already we are seeing the moron Trump reduce regulations on the US investment banks, setting up the conditions necessary for the next tranche of financial scams.

Rich 11

Why can't the L be changed to mean Limerick.

Geography. You could move the home of the organisation but not the kit it runs.

New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Rich 11

And all those bagmen need well-paid close-protection squads to ensure none of them do a runner with that hefty holdall.

Rich 11

Re: This weeks name

Obviously. Who wouldn't want to put 'Stark Industries' on all their bombs and missiles? What could possibly go wrong with that?

Installing disks is basically LEGO, right? This admin failed LEGO

Rich 11

Re: Upside down tapes...

I used to service robotic tape libraries

I've heard it called many things, but never that...

Identity disorder: Does UK govt need Verify more than we do?

Rich 11

Re: Journalistic standards are slipping

No confusion -- only one of them enjoys wielding the knife.

Magic Leap sued for sex discrimination … by woman it hired to stamp out sex discrimination

Rich 11

Re: You're going to get the Apple treatment from Magic Leap...

And this sounds exactly like a White House press briefing:

As increasing numbers of tech journalists have discovered while trying to pin Rony Abovitz down on what his company has actually produced, he alternates wildly between praise and aggression and refuses to hear anything that sounds like criticism.

Feel like a spot of planet-hunting? Here's 1,600 suns worth of data

Rich 11

Re: Such a pity there's no way to get paid for running part of the worlds largest cluster.

I wonder what these numbers do to the Drake Equation.

Set Fp to something between 0.1 and 1.0, I guess. ;-)

Planned Espionage Act could jail journos and whistleblowers as spies

Rich 11

Even basic borrowing gets screwed up as "PFI"

The decision to keep the PFI liability off the books sits firmly at the feet of successive chancellors, not in the hands of a civil servant.

letting a simple contract for a rail franchise is beyond these cretins meagre talents

The entire franchising idea isn't simple -- that's the bloody point. Again, political direction.

the asinine "Foreign Aid" programme.

Yet another idiot who reaches for Daily Mail thinking instead of giving a moment's consideration to an investment in the future. It's almost like some people want developing countries not to climb out of poverty and to risk discontent, instability and war, eventually sending more refugees out into the world. Far better, ethically as well as pragmatically, to help people and to help create markets for our goods and services -- even David 'Pigfucker' Cameron understood that. You do want more trade deals once we're outside the EU, don't you?

Rich 11

But there was then no consultation or further communication, according to ORG. The commission say that the job they were given proved too big to have time to talk to journalists and editors.

That's remarkably handy. How they think that excuse will convince anyone that it wasn't a complete stitch-up is beyond me.

Rich 11

And where are all those...

Give 'em a chance to get home and watch the bloody news first! They're not all goofing off at work on a Friday afternoon like you and me...

Rich 11

Re: It's better you brexit quickly...

Nah, Scotland will be an easier choice once they have independence. Oh, hang on, there's a wall up there already...

Stick glue on a drone. Fly it into a flower. World hunger solved, bee-lieve

Rich 11

Re: Good Freekin' Lord...

There is an upper limit of population, and we're heading for it at 11 billion* by the end of the century. By then population growth flattens out. This may upset people who would like the chance to sterilise or kill other people (certainly not themselves, of course), but I'm not going to weep over their lost ambitions.

To head off those who will say 'How can we feed so many people?', first you need to realise that we can already feed all the people on the planet. It's just that most of the food tends to be bought up -- and a good proportion of that left to rot -- by the wealthy nations. The populations of Europe and the Americas are set to shrink slightly, while Asia's will rise by a quarter. The difficulty will be in Africa, where the population is set to quadruple over the next 80 years (even with shrinking family sizes, because people born over the next decade are likely to live until the end of the century). However much of Africa's agriculture is still done at the family plot level, with nothing but a hoe and a spade: modernisation offers a way out of the food problem they'll otherwise face.

*Assuming we don't start the next set of resource wars after losing too much land to the sea. Or that Trump wonders what that big red button might do...

Trump cybersecurity order morphs into 2,200-plus-word extravaganza

Rich 11

Re: Good faith

Why is this a story about a "2,200-plus-word extravaganza" when Obama's was 3,000 words and that seemed reasonable?

Because it's such a complete reversal from his previous EOs. Just look at the chaos he's created with the travel ban, which wasn't consulted upon. You don't applaud someone for suddenly starting to do something which was standard procedure before he took office.

Rich 11

Re: Whatever you say ...

from which others could learn

Are you suggesting that this never occurred to any previous President? If so, your memory can't stretch back more than three weeks.

Rich 11

Re: Cyberattack on the nation's electricity grid...

All Putin has to do is get a few dozen of his undercover Facebookers to fake a new craze of transformer shootings for shits and giggles, and America's armed youth will do his work for him.

Rich 11

Re: Sounds great

Sent to the President? and to one that doesn't read....

That's OK, they'll be summarised for him in a verbal presentation by his Chief Information Security Officer, Cory...oh.

Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Rich 11

Re: "SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!"

Nobody thought the leftist liberal elitists would lay down and allow Trump to have his presidency

Yes. Those masked hitmen were all ready to swing into action. Time and again we thought that would be the real solution, as everyone said at the time. Yet somehow not a shot was fired and Trump ascended safely to the pinnacle of his dreams. Those goddamn lily-livered yellow liberals just chickened out, didn't they, Bob? They just couldn't give the kill order, not like a True American would.

USMC: We want more F-35s per year than you Limeys will get in half a decade

Rich 11

Nice turn of phrase

Bottom line is we've had a very anaemic ramp

I must remember that one for the next project meeting where I have to say I've done nothing because no-one has been in a position to send me any data yet.

Rich 11

Re: Swap

Didn't we sell ours to the Marines anyway?

Should have done it through Lend-Lease...

To do DevOps right, beam down a UFO says Dynatrace

Rich 11

Revealed: 'Suicide bomber Barbie' and other TSA quack science that cost $1.5 billion

Rich 11

Re: Unusual behaviour

and a Cow (purse bred Guernsey)

I'd heard of small dogs being purposefully bred so that women could carry one about in a handbag, but never a cow!

Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

Rich 11

Re: In other news...

...and Donald Trump drowns in his own bile.

Rich 11

Re: Fake News

You couldn't make something like this up!

Challenge accepted!

Want to come to the US? Be prepared to hand over your passwords if you're on Trump's hit list

Rich 11

Re: Language?

HIja’!

Rich 11

Re: It could be worse.

If I went overseas, I'd try to learn to speak like a Canadian. I certainly wouldn't want to advertise that I'm from THAT place.

You'd be following in the footsteps of many Americans who did this in the 80s and again after the invasion of Iraq.

The rest of us would certainly appreciate Yanks saying 'sorry' more often, in a Canadian accent or not.

Revealed: Malware that skulks in memory, invisibly collecting sysadmins' passwords

Rich 11

Re: Who reboots these days?

I'm paranoid and shut my PC down at the end of the day. I'd do the same to my servers, but my boss won't let me...

Pulsating white dwarf described as a 'dynamo' found, no, not in the back pages, 380 LY away

Rich 11

Uh oh

"This generates an enormous electric current in the companion star, which then produces the variations in the light we detect."

Cue an Electric Universe proponent saying, "See, I told you so!" in 3... 2... 1...

Teach undergrads ethics to ensure future AI is safe – compsci boffins

Rich 11

I... what?

Even if the robot’s missions are “human-given top-level goals,” it will create subgoals and execute them in unexpected ways to fulfill its main task.

This is the reason that Asimov was able to write so many engaging short stories with what was basically the same plot.

Trump's cybersecurity strategy kinda makes sense, so why delay?

Rich 11

why did Donald postpone signing a new cybersecurity executive order

Perhaps Vladimir didn't approve?

A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!

Rich 11

Re: LOL you guys/gals

I wonder what the measurement/unit of force was involved, can you quantify?

I estimate it at about one-sixth of a mic drop. In other words, about a thousandth of what he deserves.

just in case someone replies, please, please don't.

Silly boy. That's the last thing you should ask.

BBC and Snap. But, why?

Rich 11

JFC!

“some of the most plugged in and digitally aware people on earth"

Can we have a *retch* icon, please?

GCHQ cyber-chief slams security outfits peddling 'medieval witchcraft'

Rich 11

False advertising.