* Posts by Rich 11

4141 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

As we stand on the precipice of science fiction into science fact, people say: Hell yeah, I want to augment my eyesight!

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: The Six Million Dollar Man

Next time you won't skimp on the insurance premium.

Rich 11 Silver badge

More like repair than augmentation. It's a bit like mole removal but more impressive.

Amazon Lex can now speak British English... or simply 'English' if you're British

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Scottish Elevator?

So has Tom Cruise.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: No hope

As an American... I'm pretty sure they were speaking different languages

Then congratulations are in order, since you are clearly a rare example of a trilingual American...

We want weaponised urban drones flying through your house, says UK defence ministry as it waves a fistful of banknotes

Rich 11 Silver badge

Tank fuel? Sure. Just capture the heat generated by feeding the tank's supply of sand into a vat of hydrofluoric acid.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: ... but with Empire waistlines?


Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Oooooh! I think know the answer to this one, is it...

come up with a way of making explosive using only items readily available in a Middle Eastern supermarket

In the markets of Peshawar these items are commonly known as 'explosives'. You can find them on the shelves just behind the gun racks.

Brexit border-line issues: Would you want to still be 'testing' software designed to stop Kent becoming a massive lorry park come 31 December?

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: It will never happen...

Send a cheque to the usual address.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: It will never happen...

It's a lower standard of proof than normal, usually found lying in the gutter on a Friday night.

Rich 11 Silver badge

the Dispute Settlement Body

Isn't this the one which is hamstrung at the moment, with Trump is refusing to complete membership nomination for the underlying Dispute Settlement Panel because he thinks the Panel has ruled against the US too often?

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: I am sure Boris will be on holiday when the $h1T hits the fan

Yeah. After she'd finished raking it in I was living with reduced lung capacity.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Stockpile your popcorn

What's that you say, Boris? The virus can park lorries now?

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... a pair of black holes coalesced resulting in largest gravitational wave we've seen

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Not a "Fwoop"

For a compression wave the amplitude is necessarily less than the wavelength. My back-of-a-fag-packet calculation was only to get the order of magnitude, not a more accurate figure.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: How small can you go?

In resonant electric model

And there's the giveaway: our anonymous cowardly friend is an Electric Universe nutter.

They always crawl out of the woodwork for articles like this. Every. Fucking. Time.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Not a "Fwoop"

When the details of the first LIGO merger detection was published I sat down and worked out what the wavelength of the gravitational wave would have been at a distance of one light year from the merger. It was something on the order of a metre.

I still can't visualise the effect a space-time compression wave would have on objects at that scale (eg a human body), when it would pass through in just three nanoseconds. Would it be enough to overcome molecular bonds? Probably not. Could it shatter bones or turn flesh to jelly? I really don't know. Would the shear waves dump heat into the object? Quite possibly. Would I want to observe the event from that distance? No.

Funny, that: Handy script for wiping directories is capable of wreaking havoc beyond a miscreant's wildest dreams

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: My contribution ...

"The god ate my homework."

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: ElReg asks ...

I'm older. Today is clock-tick 18,523,814,400.

Norfolk's second-greatest cultural export set for return with 3-metre monument in honour of the Turkey Twizzler

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Now with 67-70 per cent real turkey!


Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Snood snarkey

Revenge of the gobble-gobble.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: My dog refused to eat it.

Part tounge in cheek

Tongue and cheek, two traditional cuts now rarely seen.

UK govt reboots A Level exam results after computer-driven fiasco: Now teacher-predicted grades will be used after all

Rich 11 Silver badge

where one party berates the other for political score

This has always happened. You just see less of it in the public record before 1963 mainly due to the deference shown to politicians by the media, but that deference died with the Profumo Affair.

Rich 11 Silver badge

My mate's mum used to have a hospital name badge which identified her as Physio The Rapist.

Sun welcomes vampire dating website company: Arrgh! No! It burns! It buuurrrrnsss!

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Not actually an interview but....

A sensible precaution, if you were learning to drive a DUKW.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Inappropriate garb

Well, he breezed right through.

...thanks to the Non-Detection spell he cast moments earlier.

Shocking no one, not enough foreigners applied for H-1B visas this year so US govt ran a second lottery

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: You'd have to be mad -- or desperate -- to come here on an H1B

I am definitely going to steal that analogy! And the sofa too, if it's still available.

You weren't hacked because you lacked space-age network defenses. Nor because cyber-gurus picked on you. It's far simpler than that

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Too hard, too frequent, too unreliable

you should have your systems configured for High Availability

Remember when you forcefully recommended that right at the beginning of the design phase, but it got nixed by the beancounters, and the project manager said there was no way the extra time could be allocated because the business-critical deadline had already been decided, and your boss said there was no chance he could clear someone from another project to help with QA, and the consultant said the guy at his office who was the HA expert had just that morning resigned after calling their boss a lying shitbiscuit? So of course it's your fault for not being able to provide the expected uptime.

Uncle Sam says it's perfecting autonomous AI-powered drone, vehicle swarms to 'dominate' battlefields

Rich 11 Silver badge


...this icon?

Rich 11 Silver badge
Black Helicopters

How can I combine...

...this icon...

Brit bank Barclays probed amid claims bosses used high-tech to spy on staff, measure productivity

Rich 11 Silver badge

Symptom of a deeper malaise

Any employer feeling the need to monitor their employees to such a degree is at best only papering over the cracks and not recognising a deeper problem. Most people are good and fair-minded, and show loyalty when treated as adults trusted to do their jobs. Treat people well, with flexibility and understanding of their circumstances, and they will respond well on those occasions when the employer needs a few extra hours at short notice. Treat people with mistrust and hold them to every minute of the day, especially when overworked and under-resourced, and many -- if not most over time -- will effectively end up working to rule and be less inclined to be creative and constructive.

Good managers will be able to identify any slackers taking advantage of trust and goodwill, not least because the slacker's colleagues will soon make it clear they are not willing to put up with parasitic behaviour. Poor managers, on the other hand, are more likely to micromanage and look to a bureaucratic and/or intrusive performance improvement process because deep down they know they don't have the ability to turn a bad situation around by providing good leadership and showing trust.

Well, that's my experience anyway.

First alligators, then dogs, now Basil Fawlty is trying to standardise social distancing measures

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Australain Standard

I'd like to see kangaroos try to win a three-legged race.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: my sort of distancing guide

24 cans = almost a weekend

Days after President Trump suggests pausing election over security, US House passes $500m for states to shore up election security

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Well that's reassuring

Popcorn, whisky and aspirin.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Its too late now

Don't go giving Mitch McConnell ideas!

Leaky AWS S3 buckets are so common, they're being found by the thousands now – with lots of buried secrets

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: And the corporate world ...

It's a cost-benefit situation: lower costs, fewer benefits.

An irritating itch down the back of your neck? Searing midsummer heat? Of course, it can only be SysAdmin Day

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Seeking sysadmins from other colonies to mate with

AllBoth their offspring will turn 20 in a couple of months.


The male:female ratio in our line of work could never have been considered equivalent. This somewhat reduces the opportunity for night-shift furtlings behind the racks.

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: you never have to print the emai? For rather loose values of 'never'.

Sounds like it's time to find a different stupid employer.

Google extends homeworking until this time next year – as Microsoft finds WFH is terrific... for Microsoft

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Vincent Black Shadow

I trust you will takes his ashes* for a well-earned spin once the sidecar is ready.

*And if he's not ash, well, there there may still be options if you're willing to put in the spadework...

Rich 11 Silver badge

I expect they're now competing with the racoons for good crapping spots.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: re: lack of variety

I have a 1954 Vincent Black Shadow

You jammy, jammy bastard...

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: WFH is also good

This is why I used to disappear from the office three or four times a day when things were hectic, to take a ten-minute walk around the block, look at the trees, listen to the birds, etc. Usually something useful would have popped into my mind by the time I got back to my desk, or at the very least I'd be less likely to tell the next [redacted] who popped his head around the door to redact away off.

Two large flightless birds walk into a bar... The pub's owner was not emused *ba-dum tsh*

Rich 11 Silver badge

"Yer tinny's being cracked open by the emus. They've learned to bloody use ring-pulls!"

UK.gov admits it has not performed legally required data protection checks for COVID-19 tracing system

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: But of course

Given how much as I despise the bastard Tories, it's not often I get to wholeheartedly downvote a comment slagging off those same bastard Tories.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: History Repeats Itself...

I can't say that I've done any decent research, but my initial thought would be that a person who demonstrates that they are capable of backstabbing or brown-tonguing their way to the top of a greasy pole hasn't necessarily demonstrated an ability to lead or to manage any form of organisation, to assess any set of complex issues even with expert help, or to implement any form of solution which would meet broad public approval.

The Devil's in the details: Church of Satan forced to clarify that no unholy rituals taking place in SoCal forest

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Chanting your invocation of choice

The last time I dumped my bike I ended up in hospital for three weeks. Not as much Bodega Bay as Brum and chips.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Chanting your invocation of choice

Anál nathrach,

Orth’ bháis's bethad,

Do chél dénmha.


Serpent's breath,

Charm of death and life,

Thy omen of making.

Cornish drinkers catch a different kind of buzz as pub installs electric fence at bar

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Great idea

they couldn't grasp the concept that Wales is not in England, and has a different government and rules.

Just for context, that's been a problem for over 900 years.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: what happens to the drunk

One of my mates lived in a terraced house right next to a pub, in Manchester back in the late 70s. Up until then he'd enjoyed the convenience of highly-adjacent beer and crisps, but his fiancee had just moved in with him and they were looking to cut back on expenses with the intent of starting a family, so the drinking had to be paused. Once he was no longer a regular in the pub and didn't meet any of the new intake of students into the area, some of them got into the habit of staggering out of the pub at closing time and relieving themselves in his porch. He caught one or two and gave them a bollocking, but that soon became tedious. He thought about it and came up with a simple answer: two sheets of chicken wire fixed to the porch and the lower third of the door, wired up to a car battery inside. Problem solved.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Can't abide the stuff.

Pfft. Just chuck the body back onto the fence.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Puntastic

It's well grounded.

Oh what a cute little animation... OH MY GOD. (Not acceptable, even in the '80s)

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Adult floppies...

"I still have the original 3.5-inch floppy somewhere."

It can't have been particularly inspiring porn if that's all anyone got out of it.


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