* Posts by Rich 11

4054 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

As anti-brutality protests fill streets of American cities, netizens cram police app with K-Pop, airwaves with NWA

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

The subject is placed in a neck restraint with the intention of rendering the person unconscious by applying adequate pressure

Definitely the thing to do to a handcuffed man lying face down, while three of your mates stand around and watch. What could possibly go wrong?

Remember when Republicans said Dems hacked voting systems to rig Georgia's election? There were no hacks

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Coup, one small glimmer of hope

For support, the justice insisted that ‘comparable secular businesses,’ like grocery stores and pharmacies, ‘are not subject’ to the same restrictions imposed on churches.

Setting aside the fact that Kavanaugh has already publicly demonstrated his willingness to lie (under oath, at his confirmation hearing), if he truly believes that providing access to food and medicine is comparable to being given the opportunity to be led in prayer then he has a truly fucked-up grasp of reality.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Gee, what a surprise

That would require a week-long concerted effort by Fox News, the sort of exercise normally reserved for whatever Trump's blame-shifting tactic happens to be this week.

Unmanned drones to slash NHS delivery times to one-fifth of road 'n' rail transport

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Out of curiosity ...

Not 'politically incorrect' but 'politically convenient'. The UK government is taking every opportunity to hand contracts to their favourite businesses without tender or statutory review. This is how we have the delightful situation in which a big financial accounting auditor is responsible for designing and implementing drive-through Covid-19 test facilities, with unsurprisingly poor results.

Still, at least this time they didn't outsource the job to a ferry company with no ferries.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Only one species of mamba slithers; the others climb.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Payload?

Less a joke than an observation of the direction fuckwitted anti-vaxxers have already taken.

Twitter ticks off Trump with new 'Get the facts' alert on pair of fact-challenged tweets

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: I, as President, will not allow it to happen!

I thought Texans said "A ten-gallon hat on a two-pint head."

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

"The First Amendment makes it illegal to make a law that establishes a religion, stops the freedom of speech, stops people from practicing their religion, stops the press from printing what they want, and stops people from exercising their right to assemble peacefully or demonstrating against the government."

309 characters, but I got it from a civics site aimed at elementary school kids so it should almost be within Trump's ability to understand.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Not quite right

Internet allows anybody and his friends to attempt to change history with a few clicks

If someone could stop hackers pwning medical systems right now, that would be cool, say Red Cross and friends

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Hacking hospitals costs lives

Some people just don't care. They'll see it as the medical institutions' fault for not having better security. Even if it was their mum who died as a result, they'd find some way to justify blaming anyone but themselves. It's like the bully or abusive spouse/parent who exclaims, "Now see what you've made me do!"

Dude, where's my laser?

Rich 11 Silver badge

But where had the beam gone?

Dude, where's my beam?

NASA renames dark-energy telescope after its first Chief of Astronomy and Mother of Hubble: Nancy Grace Roman

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Politically Astute Decision

I wouldn't mind them naming an Exo-planet after him, providing it's far far away.

And a shithole.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: What have the Romans ever done for us?

They report on speculative ideas all the time. I'm still waiting for evidence that our universe is shaped like a dodecahedron because of all the adjacent universes pressing up against it. (I can't even remember how many decades I've been waiting.)

Well, that's something boffins haven't seen before: A strange alien streaks around Jupiter

Rich 11 Silver badge

That effort is what makes it a backronym.

Das reboot: That's the only thing to do when the screenshot, er, freezes

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: User education

Perhaps the email should have been sent in Morse.

UK's Ministry of Defence: We'll harvest and anonymise private COVID-19 apps' tracing data by handing it to 'behavioural science' arm

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Quelle Surprise!

* Went a bit unexpectedly Charlie Brooker at the end there!

Given the target I think that's only to be expected. It's the supportable default status.

Easyjet hacked: 9 million people's data accessed plus 2,200 folks' credit card details grabbed

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Highly sophisticated

A night at the opera and a day at the races.

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Kids Toys

That's "Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!" to you, sunshine. Verstehen sie?

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Kids Toys


It's spelled 'feuer'. Really now, there's no excuse. We've all known this since we were six years old...

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Kids Toys

I think I learnt most of my (largely non-existant) German from its pages.

I learned mine from watching Where Eagles Dare.

Crooks set up stall on UK govt's IT marketplace to peddle email fraud services targeting 'gullible' punters

Rich 11 Silver badge

I didn't fall for it at all because it's well known that HMRC prefers to employ companies based in Bermuda, not the Cayman Islands.

Attorney General: We didn't need Apple to crack terrorist's iPhones – tho we still want iGiant to do it in future

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: This time, Apple gets it right

Left or right, it's basically anyone who isn't willing to listen to experts.

Occasionally, though, incidents like this will throw up a surprise. In this case it was the blinkered loon Senator Lindsey Graham, who started off on the party line but then swung around against a backdoor to encryption. It was fun watching him struggle with difficult technical words and concepts as he tried to explain this to his fellow Senate committee members, and fun watching them as they realised that for the first time in years he might actually be back on Planet Earth.

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Oh dear

In what way is 'buy Greenland or nuke a hurricane' not grounded in truth?

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Please please please...

Qualify your search by using the term we know his own staff use: 'fucking idiot'.

You can't have it both ways: Anti-coronavirus masks may thwart our creepy face-recog cameras, London cops admit

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: So the technology is imperfect?

Unsurprisingly, evolution hasn't pre-programmed your brain to preferentially identify lampposts.

Meteorite's tiny secrets reveal Solar System's sodium-rich, alkaline liquid past – a clue to formation of life

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: sorry to be pedantic

Several years ago I saw a health foods stall at the local market which was advertising organic water. The stallholder was confused when I asked him what percentage of it was carbonic acid.

Russia admits, yup, the Americans are right: One of our rocket's tanks just disintegrated in Earth's orbit

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Irresponsible?

But how will you provide the (obligatory) sharks with a supply of oxygen?

The oxygen will already be in the water, obviously.

Briny liquid may be more common on Mars than once thought, unlikely to support life as we know it

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: @Paul Johnston - Life is more tenacious than you would expect

Alexa, what is life ?

"Life is what you make of it. Would you like me to order you another packet of crisps?"

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: "He had made up the stories of his friends"

I suspect he made up the "friends".

Did they go to another school?

Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Manufacturer???

I hope they add prominent "bomb shelter" signs.

Why would they want to provide somewhere for the bomb to shelter? Doesn't it work in the rain?

The point of containers is they aren't VMs, yet Microsoft licenses SQL Server in containers as if they were VMs

Rich 11 Silver badge


"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!"

Now we know what the P really stands for in PwC: X-rated ads plastered over derelict corner of accountants' website

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: I don’t understand...

7: Because they control the website, they can register letsencrypt certs

Woah, hang on. I can understand Let's Encrypt issuing a cert for foobar.azurewebsites.net but can (and would) they do that for foobar.pwc.com in this situation?

What I've read about LE in the last two years hasn't encouraged me to use them at all, but I didn't think there was a gaping hole that wide.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: missing major issues when auditing companies

Greed, they want you to say, is good. Except it isn't.

Good on you, Ged.

First it became Middle Earth, now New Zealand will transform into Azure region number 60

Rich 11 Silver badge


None are shorter than 2,000km, which won't make for crippling latency but may reduce the region's utility as a bottom-of-the-world bolthole for those who like extreme geographic resilience.

I expect several of the boltholers will have their own satellite constellations anyway.

UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal

Rich 11 Silver badge

Broadband hasnt reached Lambeg yet, it seams!

I'm sure you remember the old joke.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We are on final approach to Belfast International. Please stow your belongings, fasten your seatbelts, and set your watches back 300 years."

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: And what about the people ...

When did they ever do anything to help me?

They set up the USGS earthquake early warning system for you. I'm sure I remember you saying you don't live too far from a major fault line.

UK COVID-19 contact-tracing app data may be kept for 'research' after crisis ends, MPs told

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Britain has no idea how close it came to ATMs flooding the streets with free money thanks to some crap code, 1970s style

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: 8 hole paper tape

Check bit or spindle?

I can't honestly remember what paper tape looked like in detail now. The last program I recorded to tape ended up as Xmas decoration six months later.

Rich 11 Silver badge

No skin off my nose

So that crisp £10 was not something to be sniffed at.

Until the 80s, when coke became popular.

Human intelligence may not be enough: US military turns to machine learning algos to predict food shortages

Rich 11 Silver badge

because it's very hard to fiddle that

But expect the politicians to try.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Given that the US COVID-19 death rate "so far" is approximately 190 per million head of population, that's not bad going, at least on the surface. Of course the wider figure won't be purely for those of working age, but it would still help if they were able to provide a valid comparison.

ATLAS flubbed: Comet heading our way takes one look at Earth, self-destructs into house-sized chunks

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: It's a decoy

Any Register measurements bureau standards for a house?

Yeah. One House (Hs) = 2 x net lifetime income (after tax, rent, bills, etc). One London House (LHs) = 3 Hs.

Snapchat domain squatter loses comedy £1m URL sellback attempt

Rich 11 Silver badge

TrumpBleach. Kills 99% of all known truths, dead.

Watch now the three UFO videos uncovered by Blink-182 star – and today officially released by the Pentagon

Rich 11 Silver badge

That was Roland Rat. You're thinking of Ronald McDonald.

Rich 11 Silver badge

Oooooh Puleaaaaaze !!!!

It is all now wonderfully clear.

From attacked engineers to a crypto-loving preacher with a questionable CV: Yep, it's still very much 5G silly season

Rich 11 Silver badge

I have my wheelbarrows lined up and ready.

Fright at the museum: Bored curators play spooky Top Trumps on Twitter over who has the creepiest object

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: A few years ago in Cornwall

i was fascinated my vegan friend wasn't

Both of you thought 'Bacon!' at the same time.

Iran military manages to keep a straight face while waggling miracle widget that 'can detect coronavirus from 100m away'

Rich 11 Silver badge

They only 80% trust it.

Quantum computing heats up down under as researchers reckon they know how to cut costs and improve stability

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Give it a couple more decades

I wonder if a quantum smartphone will also be able to keep my glass of Scotch chilled?

Oh Hell. Remember the glory days of Demon Internet? Well, now would be a good time to pick a new email address

Rich 11 Silver badge

Re: Sad to see it go

spending £50 to buy Internet Explorer

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but I think you got ripped off there...


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