Posts by Mark 91

Apple voids warranties over cigarette smoke, users say

Eat it, Apple

If the tar residue had caused the problem, that'd be one thing. But that's not what they said. If you can show that the smoke congealed the dust into an insulating brick that caused the motherboard to overheat- that's user damage. Document it that way, not some wisp of smoke smell that you call biohazard.

And yes, I've repaired smokers PC's- It's not that big of a deal. Want some really disgusting news? That "dust" inside is mostly dead, rotting skin cells. The nicotine is reasonably well behaved compared to the dead skin cells that with a bit of jostling or a spritz of canned air goes all over the shop, to be inhaled by the techs.

Get real. Use a Vac on the dirty machines, do your damned job, and quit whining.

US monster-truck roboguns to blast enemies autonomously

ED-209

Please put down your weapon! You have 30 SECONDS to comply!

El Reg launches 'Skinny Fit' fashion range

Her wrist?

What's wrong with it? It doesn't look like it's been broken off and sewn back on sideways and upsidedown.

Ford says new Taurus 'is fitted with stealth fighter radar'

Missing the point

The Raptor is being upgraded to the new Delphi Electronically Scanning Radar, seeing as it can track ground targets and all.

Disney sued over Pixar lamp 'copy'

Wow

I really thought this article would be over the lamp used in the movies, and was ready to make fun of it.

But, no, it really couldn't get much clearer that Luxo is in the right. What if I started to produce shoddy animated movies under the name Disney, Jr?

BBC newsreader kidnapped by Phillip Garrido

You forgot the quote...

"This is BBC World News.

I'm Jonathan Charles, kept hidden for almost two decades and forced to bear children..."

Secret US spontaneous human combustion beam tested

unoccupied stationary vehicle?

One of the biggest threats to the soldier today, those unoccupied stationary vehicles.

Vote now to name El Reg space plane

@Adam 52

"A prime example of how to fix an election by dividing the vote."

Indeed. All the Vulture Voters probably need to pick one of the Vulture names and get behind that- Otherwise, we'll end up with "The El Shag".

Tasered Oz man bursts into flames

Wow

Lots of people who've never really thought about this.

Really? You're going to use a Baton to defend against fuel and a lighter? You don't get to see your family again, you failed the "Go home, alive, and preferable uninjured at the end of your shift" portion of the test.

I've been trained to use a police baton, and I am pretty sure I can't stop someone from throwing a liquid on me with it. Now, if I had a riot shield...

Back away? Maybe. It's usually a bad idea to give the suspect control of the engagement. You back away. He keeps coming. Now what? You run away? What if he stops? You ask him nicely to put down the fuel? You failed the "arrest bad guys" portion of the test.

Wait, I got an idea. What if we accept that some of the blame might belong to the guy who charge police officers wielding a potentially lethal weapon? What if we praised the police officer for using the tazer instead of his pistol?

Ok, it's not the perfect weapon of choice. If he had one of the large mace sprayers we used for riot gear, that would have been nice- Can get someone in the face from 10 feet easy. But unless you A) Don't care about going home at the end of the day, or B) Don't care if you actually arrest anyone, what else are you going to do?

California skateboard dude swipes Reg logo

In order to have a case...

You'd have to do away with the abomination of a site redesign and go back to the old logo.

(Well, it's worth a shot, right?)

Moderatrix to gain even more sinister powers

You can do that?

"that individuals... can challenge moderator decisions."

I... didn't even realize that was an option!