Posts by Kane

Write-back to aging UK health systems lessens benefits of Palantir-based platform

I wonder...

...who will be supplying the contract(s) to update all those old legacy systems that can't be written back to?

Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson backs plan to do a Jurassic Park on extinct birds

"Antarctica. People always forget Antarctica."

Blair's been busy out there all by himself.

US Navy backs right to repair after $13B carrier crew left half-fed by contractor-locked ovens

Re: Rowies

"They need to take a supply of Aberdeen rowies (aka butteries). They were developed back when fishing fleets could be away for weeks - bread rolls so full of fat and salt that nothing could live on them (and so make them inedible). Not necessarily the healthiest food but OK as part of an otherwise good diet."

"The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot."

Microsoft's plain text editor gets fancy as Notepad gains formatting options

Re: Wordpad

"I expect it will grow some video editing functions shortly."

Live integration with Teams.

Nuke it >>>

Workday promises to grow workforce slowly and differently after shedding 1,750 jobs

"AI is new outsourcing to India."

700

Sci-fi author Neal Stephenson wants AIs fighting AIs so those most fit to live with us survive

"...and have learned to get along with them."

Some of them are even tasty.

Update turns Google Gemini into a prude, breaking apps for trauma survivors

Re: Hold on

"Galloping Gertie"!

Poor Tubby

The 12 KB that Windows just can't seem to quit

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start

Signalgate storm intensifies as journalist releases full secret Houthi airstrike chat

Re: I cannot see how bombing the Houthis helps

"It helps Musk ship Teslas from China to Europe via Suez."

Excellent! Just in time for those foreign manufactured car tariffs!

Linus Torvalds forgot to release Linux 6.14 for a whole day

Re: You know what he needs?

"and then promptly order 60,000 boxes of paperclips"

Release The Hypno Drones

France offers US scientists a safe haven from Trump's war on woke

Re: les queer studies?

"There is no measles epidemic in the USA."

Lol! Okay, mate

Pirate Bay financier and far-right activist Carl Lundström dies in plane crash

Re: muh far right

Exploding Immigrants?

Won't somebody think of the children!!!

Saturn runs rings around Jupiter

Re: Should we Pluto some of them.

"That should be plenty of time to come up with a definition of "moon"..."

Space Station

City council rejects inquiry into £130M Oracle IT disaster

Re: Hmm ...

"Has any other project, even some of the gloriously awful military and government ones, actually managed to go 10x overbudget?"

I'm sure there was an NHS IT project some years back that cost the taxpayer somewhere north of about £350m that didn't amount to much in the way of change.

Microsoft quantum breakthrough claims labeled 'unreliable' and 'essentially fraudulent'

...but the software giant says it’s work is sound...

It's true! Copilot told us so!

More Voyager instruments shut down to eke out power supplies

One of these for the team

Cheers!

'Cybertruck ownership comes with ... interesting fan mail'

Meanwhile, Musk's behavior is getting so erratic

Low Stakes Conspiracy - Musk is a victim of his own experiments on himself with Neuralink, which is why he's such a suitcase of cockerels.

DARPA seeks ideas for 'large bio-mechanical space structures'

Re: Ha s someone at DARPA been watching "The Expanse"

I was just thinking, "this all sounds a bit...'Laconian'"

Untrained techie botched a big hardware sale by breaking client's ERP

Wasn't me

Wasn't me

Lawyers face judge's wrath after AI cites made-up cases in fiery hoverboard lawsuit

Re: Hoo boi...

"To be fair, the lawyer did 'fess and apologise"

Yes, but if you look really close he's got his fingers crossed behind his back.

LibreOffice still kicking at 40, now with browser tricks and real-time collab

Re: All you need

"Parties are thrown, gifts are lavished upon you and a statue is erected in your honour."

Did all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left?

AI summaries turn real news into nonsense, BBC finds

Re: Cake – it's a made up drug

Security footage of a paedophile disguised as a school.

Democrats demand to know WTF is up with that DOGE server on OPM's network

Move fast, break things

The post is required, and must contain letters.

Dell ends hybrid work policy, demands return-to-office despite remote work pledge

Re: All quit so we don't have to pay you

"I'd be more concerned about the resulting paperwork if you did though."

They'd be in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard'.

Re: All quit so we don't have to pay you

""...but if I don't let them run me over with a truck twice a day, how ever will I make a living?""

Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you?

White House asks millions of govt workers if they would be so kind as to fork right off

Re: Coming soon

"Pro Tip: Always wear a brown shirt to your loyalty interviews. It never goes out of style."

And the trousers. Just so no-one can tell when you've shit yourself.

UK telco TalkTalk confirms probe into alleged data grab underway

Again?!?!

"given our ongoing focus on protecting customers' personal data... oh look, a butterfly"

SQUIRREL!

Someone is slipping a hidden backdoor into Juniper routers across the globe, activated by a magic packet

Re: Where Is That "Someone"? Guess!

"Or the Belgians. It's always the damn Belgians"

You must be mistaken. Belgium doesn't exist. I have it on good authority from people who live there.

UK council selling the farm (and the fire station) to fund ballooning Oracle project

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right...

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Trump 'waved a white flag to Chinese hackers' as Homeland Security axed cyber advisory boards

"He died with a felafel in his hand"

I thought you were making a statement about the author, I had to look it up!

In farewell speech, Biden rails against the tech industrial complex, disinfo dismantling democracy

Re: Leaders all mysteriously wish they'd taken on the vested interests

"The problem with the US, is that Government is set up in such a way that it's alomost impossible to get any real work done."

That's a feature, not a bug

Hulk smash Musk and Zuck! Actor Mark Ruffalo and non-billionaire pals back network tech underpinning Bluesky

...as one person took over what we had believed to be a global public square...

There's a key word here being used that underpins everything.

Public.

The assumption that the platform is public is only reinforced by the fact that members of the public can use it. This does not mean that the platform itself is public.

Twitter X is a company, not a public platform. His Muskiness can do whatever he likes with it. And this is what everyone has woken up to.

Amazon worker – struck and shot in New Orleans terror attack – initially denied time off

Re: Wrong type of leave…

"Look!

Flying pigs!"

That would explain the price of bacon going up.

Japan's wooden satellite exits International Space Station

For some reason, my mind was drawn to the original scripts for Alien 3

Aliens, spy balloons, or drones? SUV-sized mystery objects spotted in US skies

The mind and spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak and spongy

We can't make this stuff up: Palantir, Anduril form fellowship for AI adventures

Re: New ways to evaporate the US Defense Budget

I have to say as a Pratchett fan, reading your post footnotes was extremely gratifying!

Maybe try adding a little something¹ for a bit of sizzle²?

^{1 - A well placed superscript does wonders for the soul}

^{2 - As any street-based hot snack purveyor understands, in order to sell the sausage, you have to sell the sizzle first3}

^{3 - Sausage-in-a-bun, sir? Finest pig, I can assure you}

Are Copilot+ PCs really the fastest Windows PCs? X and Copilot don't think so

Re: Lemme guess...

Copilot is part of Microsofts marketing team now ?

There, FTFY.

Whomp-whomp: AI PCs make users less productive

...transition to AI-assisted living...

Yeah, I've seen that film.

Congress ponders underwater alien civilizations, human hybrids, and other unexplained stuff

Re: So let me get this straight ...

"Aliens come who knows how many light years, at an unimaginable cost of energy. On arrival, the only Government that notices is the US.gov, and said aliens don't make themselves known to any others. Somehow, everybody concerned has managed to keep quiet about it since the 1940s. Today, the only people who seem to believe it are known wackjobs in Congress... and even Donald "loosest lips of the Century" Trump hasn't babbled about the news in the eightish years since he became Idiot In Chief..."

Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets that haven't made interstellar contact yet and buzz them, meaning that they find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one's going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises.

All rather silly, really

Microsoft rolls out AI-enabled Notepad to Windows Insiders

...all Windows 11 PCs...Snapdragon-powered Copilot+ PCs.

Whew!! Dodged a bullet there!

Fired Disney staffer accused of hacking menu to add profanity, wingdings, removes allergen info

Fired Disney staffer accused of hacking

Calling it "hacking" sounds like a bit of a stretch

The horror that is VHS revived for horror movie release

The studio hasn't explained why it would effectively downgrade its own work by transcoding it to VHS

Play Alien Isolation with the VHS mod for that authentic 1979/1982 experience

Pentagon stumped by mystery drone swarm flying over Langley Air Force Base

If he was a foreign agent, he would be the worst spy ever known

Perfect cover

"Where are the nuclear wessels?"

IBM quietly axing thousands of jobs, source says

Re: What about the WARN notice?

"IBM uses deviously cleaver planning..."

Definitely not a spelling mistake.

Microsoft unveils Office LTSC 2024 for users that remain stubbornly offline

"so, a better Office than Office... sounds good."

Don't threaten me with a good time!

Open source maintainers underpaid, swamped by security, going gray

There's always a relevant XKCD

Dependancy

WHO-backed meta-study finds no evidence that cellphone radiation causes brain cancer

Re: From the article:

"Avoid water!"

The Scourge of Humanity!

Tired of airport security queues? SQL inject yourself into the cockpit, claim researchers

Re: I'm sure FlyCASS considers safety and security as its highest priority.

Ahh, Little Bobby Tables!

Microsoft security tools questioned for treating employees as threats

Re: Don't fret people

"I can’t do this at home. If I do it here and it breaks, it is you have to fix it. I do it at home, it is MY problem."

I mean, you can't fault the thinking.