* Posts by Kane

1145 posts • joined 17 May 2007

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Keep it Together, Microsoft: New mode for vid-chat app Teams reminds everyone why Zoom rules the roost

Kane Silver badge

Re: MS' version of a Clockwork Orange

Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.

Kane Silver badge

Re: Not puppets...

"Muppets. You'd have to be one to use this.."

Not Muppets, Fraggles.

Mind the airgap: Why nothing focuses the mind like a bit of tech antiquing

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: What looks like gobbledegook

"I beg to differ..."

Username checks out.

Boffins baffled as supergiant star just vanishes – either it partially blew itself apart or quietly turned into a black hole

Kane Silver badge
Alien

Re: Destroyed by the Inhibitors?

Greenflies.

Here's a headline we'll run this century, mark our words: Alien invaders' AI found on Mars searching for signs of life

Kane Silver badge

"An empty skips or quavers packet will be found mark my words"

Wotsits

NASA mulls going all steam-punk with a fleet of jumping robots to explore Saturn and Jupiter's mysterious moons

Kane Silver badge
Alien

Re: Tarrahawks!

Man, that brings back some memories!

Kane Silver badge
Alien

...

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS – EXCEPT EUROPA.

ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.

...

Sorry to drone on and on but have you heard of Ingenuity? NASA's camera-copter is ready to head off to Mars

Kane Silver badge
Joke

"If they get the camera, the background view and the light just right, the first flight video could become as iconic as the liftoff from the moon."

Like, in a studio environment or something?

Whatsapp blamed own users for failure to keep phone number repo off Google searches

Kane Silver badge

Re: It's an unknown

"Anyway. I then discovered WhatsApp and realised I could essentially send txt messages and picture messages for free."

You are the Product.

An Internet of Trouble lies ahead as root certificates begin to expire en masse, warns security researcher

Kane Silver badge

Re: hopefully a response from the industry to start fixing stuff

"...and Tesla seem to be doing something sinister when cars are sold on."

I'm not sure if that's a spelling mistake or not...

Beware, space Chuck Norris inside: Wacky flight rules for Chris Cassidy's first mission unearthed as Navy SEAL greets Dragon crew

Kane Silver badge
Joke

@Louis Schreurs

"barf

american recalling all Seal's accomplishments

what's his sperm count, also something to brag about?"

Please pass along my congratulations to your surgeon.

Your sense of humour removal was a roaring success.

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

Kane Silver badge
Joke

Re: Simple Response.

"Anybody else love the image of Trump doing a TikTok dance?"

No, and you should leave now and think about what you've just done. Go and sit in the corner of a darkened room and consider your actions.

Mind bleach isn't enough...

Clearview AI sued by ACLU for scraping billions of selfies from social media to power its facial-recog-for-cops system

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

"There is no law preventing anyone to look at them or store them on their own computers."

Well, yes, there is. Maybe you should go back and re-read the article?

Actually, I'll just quote it here for you, save you the trouble:

"The lawsuit, filed on Thursday at the Circuit Court of Cook County, Illinois, claims Clearview violated the state's stringent Biometric Information Privacy Act (BIPA). Companies operating in Illinois must obtain explicit consent from individuals if they collect their biometric data, whether it’s in the form of fingerprints or photographs."

2nd paragraph.

Your welcome.

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

The First Amendment forbids this.

The First Amendment forbids this.

Let's parse that statement, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof 1; or abridging the freedom of speech 2, or of the press 3; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble 4, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances 5.

1 - Clearview is not an establishment of Religion, so is not afforded the protection under this description.

2 - Clearview is not expressing any opinion or making any statements that require the protection afforded under this description.

3 - Clearview is not a press publication, so is not afforded the protection under this description.

4 - Clearview is not peacably assembling, or assembling of any sort, so is not afforded the protection under this description (Clearview is also not "the people" so we can double down on that one).

5 - Clearview is not petitioning the Government for a redress of grievances.

Now, IANAL, nor am I American, so I can state no claim to the veracity of the above, but the language of the First Amendment is pretty clear. Exactly which onine university did Tor Ekeland get his law degree from, and can I get one too?

Pablo Escobar's big bro and former accountant sues Apple for $2.6bn over FaceTime bug

Kane Silver badge
Joke

Re: Special accountants rounding?

"Is that just how Columbian accountants roll?"

No, they snort.

Made-up murder claims, threats to kill Twitter, rants about NSA spying – anything but mention 100,000 US virus deaths, right, Mr President?

Kane Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Muhwahaaaha ha

"That’s another good thing about Bush being gone, man, cos for the last 12 years with Reagan and Bush, we have had fundamentalist Christians in the White House. Fundamentalist Christians who believe the Bible is the exact word of God, including that wacky fire and brimstone Revelations ending, have had their finger on the fucking button for 12 years."

[Eyes roll back in head]

Tell me when Lord, tell me when. Let me be your servant Lord.

- Bill Hicks, Revelations

Hooray! It's IT Day! Let's hear it for the lukewarm mugs of dirty water that everyone seems to like so much

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I'm with you

"If I doesn't leave the cup the same colour as bitumen then it's not trying hard enough."

If I can't use it to re-mortar the paving slabs on my patio, then it's no good to me.

Kane Silver badge
Pint

"between 3 and 3.30om"

Clearly the jitters have set in, you might want to knock it on the head for the rest of the day!

Here, have one of these instead! >>>

Podcast Addict Play Store ban: Android chief says soz for incorrect removal, developers aren't impressed

Kane Silver badge
Alien

"What about split screen, slow motion and Quantel?"

Just the zoom? Hmm. Well, no, that's fine, that's great, no, no, that's really great, that's great. Now then, my nipples don't work.

It's, it's, a red-and-blue striped golfing umbrella... Facebook teaches its online tat bazaar to auto-identify stuff for sale

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: It's, it's, a red-and-blue striped golfing umbrella

It's a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden!

Beer rating app reveals homes and identities of spies and military bods, warns Bellingcat

Kane Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Anyone in a sensitive job: do not use social media

Anyone in a sensitive job: do not use social media

Azure-hosted AI for finding code defects emitted – but does it work?

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

Re: But did it check itself?

I'm reminded of this recent video by Tom Scott.

SAP proves, yet again, that Excel is utterly unkillable

Kane Silver badge
Trollface

Re: The Wheel of History

"Excel may seem unassailable, but the history of computing suggests it's supremacy is just a matter of =TIME()"

There's a problem with this formula.

Not trying to type a formula?

When the first character is an equal (=) or minus (-) sign, Excel thinks it's a formula.

  • you type: =1+1, cell shows: 2

To get around this, type an apostrophe (') first:

  • you type: '=1+1, cell shows: =1+1

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

Kane Silver badge
Alien

Re: Please please please...

Or even this one, at a stretch >>>

Kane Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Please please please...

Or this one >>>

Kane Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Please please please...

Or this one >>>

Kane Silver badge
WTF?

Re: Please please please...

"Can we have a Trump icon?"

No, this one is sufficient >>>

The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help

Kane Silver badge
Alien

Re: GPP

They'll be the first against the wall...

Breaking virus lockdown rules, suing officials, threatening staff, raging on Twitter. Just Elon Musk things

Kane Silver badge
Happy

Re: Same as the Nebraska meat packing plants

"But what to do about bodies?"

Introducing our latest product, Soylent Green!

Microsoft's Family Safety app drills into kids' screen time, browsing habits to help 'facilitate a dialogue'

Kane Silver badge

"facilitate a dialogue"

I do not think it means what you think it means...

There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye

Kane Silver badge
Joke

So, what is it?

Kane Silver badge
Alien

Re: Starman on his way...?

"And then what comes out? WHAT COMES OUT!?"

V'Ger must evolve.

Surprise surprise! Hostile states are hacking coronavirus vaccine research, warn UK and USA intelligence

Kane Silver badge

Re: We're talking medical research, not nuclear launch codes.

"I'm not sure how advisable it is to share research between different institutions at an early stage - there would seem to be a risk that all may end up following a research dead end, so I can see a reason for different groups to work in isolation, and only share the results and methodology once it looks to be reliable."

But if they don't share the research, how would they know they're following a dead end? If dozens, or tens of dozens of research groups aren't communicating with each other and working in isolation it's possible they could increase the likelihood of that pitfall. At least with open communication they can see where the potential dead ends lie and switch focus accordingly.

Kane Silver badge
Joke

Re: Bullshit article based on bullshit press releases.

Hello, Police? I'd like to report a murder I just witnessed.

Find your wallet, Apple: Ex-engineer adds eight more patents to lawsuit seeking credit for his developer work

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Patents are worthless

"In all cases, they were awarded a beautiful certificate of achievement, in a handsome plastic frame and round of applause."

Ahh, the cheapest kind of Reward and Recognition!

UK finds itself almost alone with centralized virus contact-tracing app that probably won't work well, asks for your location, may be illegal

Kane Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Of course, being centrally controlled

"You give the state an inch, it will take a mile everything."

Singapore to require smartphone check-ins at all businesses and will log visitors' national identity numbers

Kane Silver badge
Big Brother

"Or do you prefer Google and Apple make something baked into your smart phone constantly watching you?"

Don't they already?

International space station connects 100Mbps symmetric space laser ethernet using Sony optical disc tech

Kane Silver badge

"Sexy FAST women in low earth orbit."

Sexy HYPER-SPEED women in Lagrange Point orbit are just waiting for YOU NOW!

ATLAS flubbed: Comet heading our way takes one look at Earth, self-destructs into house-sized chunks

Kane Silver badge

You had fire?

Royal Navy nuclear submarine captain rapped for letting crew throw shoreside BBQ party

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

"And there are h'orderves. H'orderves which will be obeyed at all times."

Horses Doovers

Elevating cost-cutting to a whole new level with million-dollar bar bills

Kane Silver badge
Alien

...in order to itemise a customer's bill...

... and point the finger of guilt at who ordered the wine and which greedy so-and-so had three starters.

Bistromathics at work.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Light-powered nanocardboard robots dancing in the Martian sky searching for alien life

Kane Silver badge

Re: How to make it go where you want?

"Thanks a lot. I just lost 3 hours."

You're welcome, it's a great time sink.

Which ending did you choose?

Kane Silver badge

Re: How to make it go where you want?

"Paging Von Neuman! Von Neuman to the white courtesy phone please!"

For some reason, reading the article I was reminded of Universal Paperclips.

News sure to ex-Zeit: Next.js company reborn as Vercel

Kane Silver badge
WTF?

"We decided to retain our signature triangle logo, although we have simplified it,"

ಠ_ಠ

.

.

.

.

ಠ_ಠ

Are you fixing that switch? Or setting it up as a Minecraft server?

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

Re: But.... But!

"Can it run Crysis?"

More importantly, can it run Crysis Remastered?

Lockdown endgame? There won't be one until the West figures out its approach to contact-tracing apps

Kane Silver badge
Joke

Re: Correction

"No, it requires just one thing. That big business is satisfied after scavenging the rubble they created with this scam."

Yah, and that 5G turned all the frogs gay.

Star's rosette orbit around our supermassive black hole proves Einstein's Theory of General Relativity correct

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Spirograph

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e. everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

India says 'Zoom is a not a safe platform' and bans government users

Kane Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Leaks

"Should-be-mandatory-viewing for all students of politics everyone. It says volumes in a very short span of time."

There, fixed that for you!

Cloudflare outage caused by techie pulling out the wrong cables

Kane Silver badge
Boffin

"Concerned watcher might need to know the change in policy....."

With full documentation and process change requirements!

In triplicate!

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

Kane Silver badge
Alien

To paraphrase...

...the great Ford Prefect: "Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow."

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