Posts by Z 1

Sneak peek: Revamped Opera gets turboboost

Nice. You can keep your Firefoxes and Chromes and Safaris - I'll take Opera please. Keep up the good work

- posted from Opera

Geek girls lauded on Ada Lovelace Day

Unremarkable post that veered near a point with one exception - Alan Sugar? Pioneer? Shume Mishtake Shurley?

Apollo 17 Moon landing: Shock revelations

Brilliant. SImply brilliant!

Have one on me!

Parliament has no time for 100,000+ signature e-petitions

Very. A lot of lobbyists are paying the EmmPeas an awful lot of money so they can feel important.

Oh and also trying to manipulate debates in favour of rather questionable agendas.

E-petitions are worth as much as the current raft of elected clowns. Maybe if you pony up some cash so they can junket/spend on a second house/buy luxuries, then they'd spend time debating it for you

E-Petitions? Government spin and flannel more like.

"Here, lets give the plebs a distraction. E-petitions! Tell them that if any petitions get over 100,000 signatures <chuckle> we'll debate them."

Windows 8 to boot in 8 seconds

Didn't they try to do this with XP? It races to the desktop, then thrashes the hard drive as it tries to load all the services for you...

The Reg dips toe into social media ocean

Don't do it!

Also, Oi! Bugger off calling us anti social.

Three in ten Americans urge feds to read their email

"Watch us"!

So speaketh the great residents of Oceania. Just watch out for those rocket bombs...

Nokia offers $10,000 for new ring tone

Hah

They could do a variation on the Clash's "London's Burning"...

'New laws not needed' to block / censor Twitter et al

Hmmm

"political masters"? I'd prefer the term incompetent idiots.

A Farewell to Oates: Adios, El Reg

I'll drink to that!

Here's one from me

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

This makes me feel better...

About the upcoming Thief 4 which Square Enix are also working on.

BOFH: Beer, shinies, death by fire, rats IN THAT ORDER

sniff

I only have two. I have a huge case of monitor-envy

id Software Wolfenstein 3D

Great game

But my god, did it make me feel ill. Didn't stop me completing it though!

California Mrs cuffed in drugged-hubby todger slash case

All men...

Assume fetal position ... Now!

All I can say is Ouch

BOFH: Drunken Time Lord

Damnit

"watching the Boss crap his strides rather than be seen dropping a grogan in a glass-wall lift, it was all over too soon."

I need a new Keyboard please!

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Sorry to see you go

But enjoy your new job. Have a drink on me

Dungeon Siege III

Upvote for you

Though I do have to mention Daggerfall. Not a pinacle in the same vein as Baldur's Gate, but a real enjoyable (though extremely buggy) game that kept me hooked through the mid 90's!

Feds crack multi-million scareware ring

Aye

Same here, spent all of last night remove crapware from a machine. Though in dealing with these arseholes, I'd want to use a "customised" cattleprod, some old rolled carpet and black bin bags.

Mink coat thief conceals booty down knickers

Brutal

Careful who you challenge (not me it should be noted) otherwise you may be inundated with filthy posts using imaginative expletives put together by filthy minded gits who love a challenge!

Captain Cyborg: Computers are alive, like bats or cows

Ach, is this joker still about?

He's like a very ineffectual Davros, trundling around with RFID chips and other peripherals stapled to himself.

Chinese teen flogs kidney to buy iPad

Idiot

Idiot fanboi.

DARPA, NASA look to spawn STARSHIP enterprise

There's merit in the saying

Don't put all your eggs in one basket...

Sony calls in data Sherlocks to unpick megahack disaster

Incompetence

Thy name is sony.

Request a new sony icon to represent crap security.

Ubuntu seeks Android-packin' Windows deserters

Yep

I'm with you there. I dual-boot XP and Kubuntu and tried to use wine. For every game I tried to run it was like pulling teeth. "Need this addon", "Change this setting", "Recompile that line". Bloody thing, I just want to play the game and not get into a wrestling match with the OS!.

To be fair, the wine devs have done a sterling job in getting a huge swathe of games to run. The problem lies with the game devs and publishers all writing natively for Windows, so we're stuck with having to use wine or similar. There was a little hope when the rumour about steam natively coming to linux was circulating, but that was soon squished. I suspect that backhanders and MS influence keeps the game devs locked to one platform. Ah well, we can still hope.

Calling all readers: Want some new icons?

Also

Where's the Lindsey Lohan angle?

SCHEITERN: Scientologists want to friend schoolkids on Facebook

@ Chad H.

"Scientology representative"? Surely you mean brainwasher?

US Navy laser cannon used to set boat aflame

Is that it?

Pah. Am thoroughly disappointed. Reminds me of that scene from Hypderdrive. Face our beam of death. Hold still, this will take 10 years to kill you!

W**k-O-Meter

April fool or not

This made me chuckle!

Nokia talks Pure typographic cobblers

Pass the spliff

That font is, like, heavy man.

Hadron Collider 'could act as telephone for talking to the past'

Incredible!

Who knows, with the thing cranked to full power it could be supposed that it suddenly becomes a giant intergalctic telephone. It'd be typical that the first alien call would be from some alien in betelgeuse wondering if we'd like to increase our singlet bandwidth.

London's Olympic clock claps out

Spot on

You owe me a new keyboard.

Balanced, neutral journalism is RUBBISH and that's a FACT

Well said!

And that is why I don't watch ANY TV news and don't read any papers. The only things I really pay attention to are Private Eye and yourselves.

Knife-waving knob nabs fat stack of jazz mags

Brilliant article

Bravo Sir! Just bravo!

Wii Countdown conundrum brands family 'SH*THEADS'

Ha

Shit happens

Hubble squints at most distant galaxy

Beautiful

What more is there to say?

Microsoft wades into interwebulator chat about Hotmail

Notmail

I've always seen it as a place where you go to get your first e-mail account. Very much bobby basic, poor UI, spam central and when you receive an @hotmail e-mail, you can't help but snobbishly mutter "bloody amateur"!

Feds pursue Russian, 23, behind ⅓ of ALL WORLD SPAM

I thing we're being trolled

Damnit!

I with you there

I was about to post that. What's going on? Is El Reg angling for some kind of tabloid award or have you decided to venture into the realms of sensationalism?

Filthy PCs: The X-rated circus of horrors

Chilling

I fear taking the lids of peoples machines for fear of what you might find. Dessicated spiders, assorted dust monsters and other Lovecraftian horrors are always waiting to drive you to the limits of sanity!

I always make a point to give my machine regular cleans, either tackling the lifeform buildup with the hoover or with my handy airbrush, blasting air through the hard to reach places. Last thing I want is for the Lizard Alliance to use my machine as the start of some terrifying dustmonster/machine cyborg killer. Though, how they'd work together with cyber-dysons makes me wonder!

Google sued for scanning emails of non-Gmail users

Hmmm

Putting the court case aside for a moment, the problem is the fact that you have to know all about gmail before you send an e-mail to it. To avoid this kind of thing, you'd have to potentially check the T&Cs of every domain you send an e-mail to before you send it. Now, you and I know all about google and their antics, but someone fresh to the world of web and e-mail wouldn't know this.

Blogger faces terror charges for 'naming MPs'

West Midlands ministry of love...

... I am sure they'll assist with any thought correction.

Government will shred ID card data

Good riddance...

...to bad rubbish. Never wanted, never needed and thank god it's going.

Clive Sinclair unveils 'X-1' battery pedalo bubble-bike

Couldn't be any worse than his black watch!

Though I seem to remember old Clive did quite well making various devices such as calculators, voltmeters and other such stuff.

TomTom adds Star Wars voices to iPhone app

Chilling

So you're driving down a road and Lord Vader is directing you to take the next left. You miss it and instead of the "Do a U-Turn" statement, you are greeted with the chilling "You have failed me for the last time" followed by a tightness in your throat.

Florida cops tase naked jogger

Bloody hell

They'll tase anything now. I'm just awaiting for the first reports of coppers tasing unruly dogs, cats, horses, etc or the tasing of a child because it was making a racket...

Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

Beautiful

Your last line says it all. I for one have had enough of the churnalism put out by the grauniad and their reprinting of AP, Reuters and other PR press release merchants

Leaked Google docs out top search ad spenders

Read this link! Obey!

Pay no attention to the greenwash behind the curtains!

Boffins baffled by mysterious Martian crater

Thumbs up

10 million points to you sir, for making me laugh with an excellent red dwarf reference!

Mail on Sunday inadvertently bolsters annual smutfest

Nope

Desmond runs the Express newspapers and a fair few porn channels and magazines. The Daily Fail is owned by Lord Rothermere I think with Paul "You C**ting C**t" Dacre, famous for his Vagina Diatribes because of his liberal use of the C word. Ironic really, considering such a puritan paper has such a foul mouthed editor!