* Posts by LesB

108 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jul 2009


A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2


Re: 30 years on...

..and the options dialog still doesn't have browse buttons for the file location settings. I recall this being annoying {mumble} years ago, and assumed it would change one day. It's a minor thing, but odd, as the options dialog looks like it shares a lot of code with the one in Word, which does manage to be a bit more friendly.

Ads watchdog to BT: We say your itsy bitsy, teeny weeny Ts&Cs too small for screeny



I once saw a print advert for tyres, which offered a two year unconditional warranty. Oh, sorry, that was a

..unconditional warranty.*

* Conditions apply

Oh dear...

New UK aircraft carrier to be commissioned on Pearl Harbor anniversary



Oh bother, have we slipped into another bloody timeline, or have I missed something?

I was thinking of moving back to the Land of my Fathers[1] anyway, but I''ll need to know if I should do that sooner rather than later...

Slightly confused about the suggestion than UDI is now something you're given rather than something you pronounce for yourself and hope for the best.

[1] Well, the land of my mother, technically.

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger


Applying the "Yes, Minister" principle

They contain *British* sausages (aka the emulsified high-fat offal tube), which may or may not contain meat, depending on how you define "meat".

Humble civil servant: Name public electric car chargers after me


But what about Pillar Boxes?

Is he suggesting they were named after some Pillar, or is he just being a pillar(k)?

The axeman strikes again: Microsoft has real commitment issues


Is it just me?

But every time I see or hear "Davos", my brain auto-corrects it to "Davros".

Which actually makes sense in this context.

To me anyway.

Wibble. Penguin added because I like penguins, not for any Linuxy reason.

Microsoft Office 365 Exchange issues for users across Europe


Fawlty Towers moose incident

It's up!

It's down!

Looks like the wet string used to fix this morning's incident has dried out[1].

[1] I think that's what they said


Or you could have the actual information

Title: Can't connect to Exchange Online

User Impact: Users may have been unable to connect to the Exchange Online service.

Final status: After a period of monitoring the service, we can confirm that rerouting traffic restored availability.

Scope of impact: This issue could have potentially affected any of your users intermittently if they were routed through the affected infrastructure.

Start time: Monday, September 18, 2017, at 7:20 AM UTC

End time: Monday, September 18, 2017, at 10:00 AM UTC

Preliminary root cause: A subset of mailbox infrastructure became degraded, causing impact to availability.

Next steps:

- We're analyzing performance data and trends on the affected systems to help prevent this problem from happening again.

This is the final update for the event.

Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid


Re: D'oh - it's obvious

As Pterry pointed out, a cat in a box has a third state, BLOODY FURIOUS.....

Yeah, let's have that icon

Trello boards the desktop with Mac and Windows apps


Re: I Know I'll get down voted

Saved me asking :)

Just had a look at the site, and apparently:

Trello’s boards, lists, and cards enable you to organize and prioritize your projects in a fun, flexible and rewarding way.

Sounds like something I'd prefer to avoid, really...

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google


Re: Hmm..

Shouldn't that be DuckDuckGone, or maybe DuckDuckWent?



You must be from the south.

Well, south of here, anyway

Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV


Re: Bonnie Tyler?

Bother, you beat me to it, Cap'n

Seagate SNAFU sees Cisco servers primed for data loss


Blame Tigger for bouncing the server

Asteroid Florence buzzes Earth, brings two moons along for the ride

Thumb Up

Re: i hope the moons are dougal and zebedee

Magical comments like that make we wish I could give more than one upvote

Science fiction great Brian Aldiss, 92, dies at his Oxford home


Re: The 1920s onwards

Have an upvote for mentioning Jasper fforde!

Foxit PDF Reader is well and truly foxed up, but vendor won't patch


Re: Alternatives/ Replacement

And the PDF-XChange Editor is sound alternative to Acrobat Pro (doesn't *quite* do everything, but enough for many users), with volume licence pricing that's quite friendly....

Ancient IETF 'teapot' gag preserved for posterity as a standard


Re: Instant of Tetleys?

Quite. I was offered something claiming to be "Turkish Apple Flavoured Instant Tea".

In a moment of weakness, I tasted it. It struck me as being a wee bit too sweet.[1] I managed not to spit it out, but it was a close thing. I then read the label and all was explained. Ingredients: 96% sugar, some flavour, and probably a tea leaf or two waved over it.

So a more accurate description would be "instant sugar drink with a hint of flavouring"....

[1] Note: this may be an understatement

GoDaddy gives white supremacist site its marching orders after Charlottesville slur

Thumb Up

Talking of Godwin's Law

Mike Godwin has spoken:


'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary


Re: ""A piano could drop on her head tomorrow""

So you're not planning on using a piano.

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY


Re: Benedict?

Possibly, but I suspect it's a reference to a Mr Arnold. No doubt when people wake up in the US, they'll explain....

Men charged with theft of free newspapers


Re: Maybe we need coffee tipping bins next to the other bins in the street?

slap a posh name[0] on it and sell it.

Isn't that what Starbucks do already?

Dell BIOS update borks PCs


Making Flippy Floppy

Been a while since I've seen a BIOS update on a floppy. Or a BIOS update that would fit on a floppy, come to think of it. Or a floppy[1], for that matter.

[1] Which is absolutely not a cross reference to any railway-related topics on El Reg today

Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour


Station stops and other such things

And have you noticed that the thing you're sitting[1] in isn't a train any more, it's a "service". As in the next station stop for this service is Lesser Picklington[2]...

It all started getting silly when they started calling us "customers" rather than "passengers". At least the latter implied some suggestion that the ride they were taking you for was a literal rather than metaphorical one.

[1] Or standing, depending on the time and location

[2] Or wherever

User loses half of a CD-ROM in his boss's PC


Multiple disks

We had some PCs a while back with slimline optical drives. Due to some oddity of the design, it was possible for a suitably skilled user to insert the disk in such a way that it disappeared into the PC case. Some users were particularly good at this. Not that they mentioned it when the first or second disk vanished, of course...


Re: Paper yes...

Ooooh - reused paper!!!

We had an accountant (well, of course) who liked to use the other side of previously printed on paper in his departmental DeskJet. It was all fun and games until he fed it a stack of pages that were stapled together. That took a bit of disentangling...


Re: Paper yes...


Once had a user who'd run out of the special (and expensive) laser printer acetates and decided to use some designed more for writing on with pens. One destroyed cartridge.

Then there were the (several) users who (several times) decided that putting partly-used sheets of labels back through the printer was a good idea, even after they destroyed the drum the previous time and had been told not to do it (again).

What augmented reality was created for: An ugly drink with a balloon

Thumb Up

Is that Leisure Suit Larry in the header pic?

Ahhhh, nostalgia!

Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia


There are worse things

Many years ago, I recall "New Scientist" commenting on a report in a medical publication on the eye-watering subject of gentlemen's injuries caused by hand-held vacuum cleaners[1].

It seems there were a number of cases of chaps getting their, err, chaps into these devices, either "accidentally[2]" or for their own reasons. Apparently believing this would be quite safe, the unfortunate visitors to A&E had interactions with the internal fans.[3]

Just thought I'd share....

[1] The name "Hoover Dustette" sticks in my addled memory for some reason

[2] "It turned itself on" (editorial response: and him to, presumably)

[3] I recall a comment along the lines of "driven to new lengths by the experience..."

Cabinet Office losing grip on UK government departments – report


Isn't "challenge" one of those civil service euphemisms?

You know, like "courageous" means "this will end your career"

Left as an exercise for the reader :)

(Sorry, re-watched Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister recently...

A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun


No need to start any Blasphemous Rumours.

And I'm sure the conference Enjoyed the Silence when the feedback stopped.

Welcome to my world of The Unexplained – yes, you're welcome to it


Re: Dictionary recommended for this man

I'm not sure you know what the word "upon" means

Well, that sucks: China's Tencent so sorry after vid emerges of faux blowjob office game



Presumably a relation of Rumpole's SWMBO?

Is! Yahoo! dead?! Why! web! biz! will! rename! to! Altaba! – the! truth!



Quick! Somebody register the .TE TLD! (Assuming we're going for funky spelling domain names, that is)

TalkTalk hacker gets iPhone taken away by Norwich Youth Court


Re: Someone give him a job

Obviously a definition of "up north" I was previously unaware of. Unless you're Australian, in which case, ignore me and carry on,

Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes


Pedant Point

The Royal Mint doesn't do banknotes - the Bank of England is responsible, with manufacturing being done by De La Rue.

Virgin Galactic and Boom unveil Concorde 2.0 tester to restart supersonic travel


Re: No overland

<confused>Manchester to Leeds via Dubai?</confused>

Seems a bit of a long way round (though better than the current train service most days)

Typo made Air Asia X flight land at Melbourne instead of Malaysia


Re: On the subject of typos

You should have gone for the Captain Mainwaring response: "I was wondering who'd be the first to spot that..."

Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died


Re: OK Jeremy--renationalization--what then?

That was actually the *two* previous franchisees who both walked away being unable to pay the ludicrous sums they'd bid.

Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...


Wait, what?

You live in Grand Theft Auto?

Theresa or Teresa May? Twitter confuses nude model and new PM


Re: New PM

I'm sure there will be a general election shortly. After all, no less a person than Theresa May expressed the view that a PM without a democratic mandate wasn't an altogether good thing. Though maybe that was only when the PM in question was Gordon Brown?


Bill Gates cooks up poultry recipe for Africans' paltry existence


Re: What they really need is ...


Latin-quoting Linus Torvalds plays God by not abusing mortals


Re: Quia ego sic dico

More to the point, Quanti canicula ille in fenestra?

Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus


They've only just noticed?

Released nearly two weeks ago...

Personally, I can't see anything wrong with a little Trumpton Noir...

Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care


It's a test, isn't it?

Obviously El Reg regulars are completely clued-up and know all about these things, and if you need to ask what a Smart City is, you'll have your commenting privileges revoked, or at the very least be subjected to mockery and obfuscated links to lmgtfy.com

Or something. (Actual search results filled my Buzzword Bingo card)

US government tells Apple it has security problems that Apple fixed last year


Re: doesn't intend to patch

Fair point about older devices - iOS9 is supported on the iPhone 4S and later. The 4S was launched in 2011, making it moderately old as these things go. The oldest unsupported iPhone is the iPhone 4, launched in 2010, which is even older as these things go.

Not sure how far any company should be required to go in supporting older kit, but I think Apple goes quite a long way.

Blighty starts pumping out 12-sided quids


Re: Today????

The images are the same ones used when the new coin was announced in 2014...


Hotel light control hack illuminates lamentable state of IoT security


Re: All that capability..

Wish I could give you more than one upvote for that :)

Twitter goes titsup


I miss the Fail Whale

Used to be a common sight, now seems to be extinct, poor thing

Friends Reunited to shut down. What do you mean, 'is it still going?'


Hold on...

That sounds more like LinkedIn