* Posts by Danny 2

2212 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jul 2009

NZ unfurls proposed new flag

Danny 2

Rats!

It reminded me of the Boomtown Rats song "Another Piece of Red" mourning the death of the British Empire (until then Geldof had still been pretending to be Irish), a song so bad that it doesn't seem to have made it onto Youtube.

I was reading in New Zealand about Ian Smith

I was thinking they were lucky to be rid of that shit.

The people here can still believe in stiff lips and stiff collars

They're speaking deals in English

But they're making deals in dollars.

They're breaking up an empire

Nobody's buying British

They're calling for an umpire

Nobody's playing cricket

The flags are coming down everybody stands saluting

But somewhere in the distance, I can hear somebody shooting.

And another piece of red left my atlas today.

France says 'non' to Wi-Fi and Tor restrictions after terror attack

Danny 2

Re: Police pigs

But are ye a Catholic Jew or a Protestant Jew?

I sincerely hope we aren't housing any of our Syrian refugees there.

Danny 2

Police pigs

I again recommend the use of trained pigs instead of police dogs in sieges such as St Denis. They are just as nasal when it comes to sniffing out explosives and they might give potential suicide bombers pause for thought that they may not get their 72 virgins covered in bacon.

Steve Jobs mural highlights plight of Syrian refugees

Danny 2

Re: The difference is important.

Call me Pollyanna if you want but I think the eventual recommends around here show we're generally more sensible commentards than on any newspaper website. Or the Daily Mail for that matter.

Danny 2

Re: Ch14 - Grapes of Wrath

"Long before Steve Jobs, California was the scene for mass immigration"

Although after that, California banned US migrants from the dustbowl, setting up border guards to keep them out.

And the whole of the US banned any migration from China using the Chinese Exclusion Act.

I went to San Fransisco in the '80s and stayed with an elderly Scottish woman who'd just moved there from Canada. Her young relative and me were taken to the largest shopping mall we'd ever seen, with a full size ice-skating rink inside to amuse the kids. There was only one kid on it, a seven year old hispanic girl who was performing a stunningly beautiful routine. My friend and I were transfixed by the girl's skating, but the old woman glanced at her and without any self-awareness sneered, "Immigrants". California is one of the most racist states, they just disguise it better than some.

Danny 2

Re: An Opportunity Presents Itself...

Well, it's in Calais so statistically it's likely to a French or Somalian or Pakistani.

Danny 2

Re: Not Another Steve Jobs Nor Another Apple

Donald Jesuswept Trump claims to be Scottish because his mother was, and yet it was a Scot who started the petition to get him banned from the UK.

I loathed Jobs but at least he did what it said on the tin; he made money and stayed out of politics. There are worse people still alive.

Danny 2

Re: The difference is important.

I'm adding to your post at a tangent, not subtracting from it.

Jobs father was a refugee from Homs because Homs was already under attack from the current Syrian dictators father, who basically levelled the city later in '82.

Anyone smart enough to post here already knows the difference between a migrant and a refugee; what is less understood is the difference between a refugee and an aslyee.

Danny 2

Re: Banksy's mural

http://www.stencilrevolution.com/tutorials/make-stencils-in-photoshop/

Stencils are remarkably easy. Bear in mind that you should wear a face mask when painting them.

It is tempting to fake Banksy's work now people rip out walls for lucre. And when did anyone but hairdressers and corporate graphic artists think Steve Jobs was an argument for Syrian refugees?

ISS 'naut trio return to snowy terra firma

Danny 2

We should always to the nutters as Daesh, for the reason you stated. Plus they don't like it (up'em). And Isis was quite a cool god-myth.

RAF web survey asks for bank details via unencrypted email

Danny 2

Re: Interesting.

Gemma is a Reaper.

ISIS use Captagon amphetamines that we keep interdicting. Why don't we just coat them with a stronger poison and let them through?

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg22830494-400-17th-century-plot-to-use-plague-hats-as-bioweapons-revealed/

UK gov sinks £25k into Pi-powered cyberdesk

Danny 2

Re: Embedded

With a particularly bad cold, when I try to suck the phlegm out it sounds like a Tardis has materialised inside my nasal cavity. Bet you wished you never asked now.

Danny 2

Embedded

"Our 'smart desk' will never be outdated, as the embedded technology is upgradable"

Embedded surely implies a bed in this context. I know David Cameron's theory is that he makes all his best decisions standing up on a full bladder, but he makes provably piss-poor decisions. I do all my best thinking in bed. Embed a Pi in an actual bed and then I'll talk.*

"Co-working spaces are becoming ever more popular but hot-desking hasn't garnered quite so many fans."

Hot desking with fewer fans must imply a big water-cooled water-bed.

* I once found a speech-activated recorder misplaced under my bachelor pad bed for a year, and was eager to play-back the results to reveal the truth about my love-life.

"Cough.cough...cough..cough.....cough...groan...cough.cough.cough...'Get me a glass of water'..cough...cough..Tardis noise...cough"

What the world needs now is Pi, sweet $5 Raspberry Pi Zero

Danny 2

Re: DOH

It's too cheap. I'm running out of excuses for my inactivity. I'm going to have to buy some for the bairns so I can decry them for not using them.

Second Dell backdoor root cert found

Danny 2

Re: Bitter old man

I was in a police cell, promised prison. I am told prison now awaits in February. I did emerge with irrelevant anecdotes, but I won't inflict them here unless you ask me to. Like any vampire, I never cross a threshold without invite in.

Danny 2

Bitter old man

Dell was the first place I encountered ageism. "The average age here is 27, do you really think you could fit in?" I was only 32! "Er, I find a wider range of ages makes for a more efficient environment." Thievin' eejits never even paid my promised travel expenses, and Limerick is not exactly a tourist destination unless you're a midge.

I told this to every subsequent, and invariably older, boss since then and they all dropped Dell.

Why Microsoft yanked its latest Windows 10 update download: It hijacked privacy settings

Danny 2

Re: @dogged - @Mark Allen - Surely a simple answer

https://bookofbadarguments.com/

The print edition would make a good xmas present for junior minds, it's basically a cut-down version of the Wikipedia List of Fallacies. But with cute drawings!

Plusnet ignores GCHQ, spits out plaintext passwords to customers

Danny 2

Re: @Danny 2

"Mossa'ad talk a good game"

Fair comment, I believe the quote was indirectly aimed at the NSA and GCHQ.

There are things in the Snowden revelations that honestly nutty conspiracy theorists used to claim, and I'd bat down with "No, that just isn't technically possible yet", or "No, someone would have found that out if it was true" or "Why would they do that when they could do this?".

And I was wrong. I don't want to be defeatist or alarmist, some things seem to work today even against APT, like properly implemented encryption, and there are 'best practices' for techies and best advice for non-techies (like ProtonMail and Tor) but basically we as individuals are "attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis".

I'm increasingly anti-ISIS, I've pals missing since the attacks there, but I still recognise my own government policy has killed more Britons in the past decades than they ever could.

Danny 2

Re: Google IT

"Obviously don't ever let Google have the password you use for your bank though.."

Bank? Bank? I don't need no steenkin' bank. Not since SWIFT and then the DWP both stopped paying me. Have you ever tried to explain the need for personal privacy and password security to prisoners? They don't get it, and they kind of have a point.

I was spilling my work history to a famous, decent political blogger earlier today, trying to make that point, and they said "Did you see the Snowden piece that showed they were double dipping into SWIFT. How'd they manage that, any idea?"

"

Basically, you're either dealing with Mossad or not-Mossad. If your adversary is not-Mossad, then you'll probably be fine if you pick a good password and don't respond to emails from ChEaPestPAiNPi11s@virus-basket.biz.ru. If your adversary is the Mossad, YOU'RE GONNA DIE AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. The Mossad is not intimidated by the fact that you employ https://. If the Mossad wants your data, they're going to use a drone to replace your cellphone with a piece of uranium that's shaped like a cellphone, and when you die of tumors filled with tumors, they're going to hold a press conference and say "It wasn't us" as they wear t-shirts that say "IT WAS DEFINITELY US," and then they're going to buy all of your stuff at your estate sale so that they can directly look at the photos of your vacation instead of reading your insipid emails about them. In summary, https:// and two dollars will get you a bus ticket to nowhere. Also, SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL. When it rains, it pours.

"

https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1401_08-12_mickens.pdf

Danny 2

Re: Google IT

You are quite correct, I trust Google to have salted and hashed my old password. My point is I still use a variation of that password here, and if the NSA were to get my old Google password then soon they'd be able to discredit me here through silly posts. And I just got my bronze badge!

Danny 2

Google IT

If you type in your previous password on Google, it tells you that you changed your password x months ago. I realise this is automated and more of a creep-out than a security risk, but it shows they store your previous passwords, and as they are subject to every petty legal request it emphasises the need for unique passwords everywhere, all the time.

Cyber-terror: How real is the threat? Squirrels are more of a danger

Danny 2

Re: Spider attacks are demonstrated.

"I prefer the substitution of "spider" for "cyber" in any and all documents"

My council IT dept. was called out for months when the security system in the server room tripped. It turned out to be a beetle (not a Beatle) making it's home in the warm sensor.

Danny 2

Re: Furry buggers

In honour of the Randall Munroe interview here, Squirrelphone.

Grow up, judge tells EFF: You’re worse than a complaining child

Danny 2

Re: Pay as you use?

I inherited pre-pay Leckie and Gas meters from the previous tenant and can't afford to swap 'em out, so I'm left paying 20% more than I would do if I had your right to switch supplier.

Now if your proposed 'improval' was in place I'd likely be banned from having internet too. Draconian laws are never implemented sensibly, they are always implemented to squeeze the poor for the benefit of the corporates. The internet was a leveller, and you are Charles I.

Danny 2

You don't want to do that, you want to do this

"In just over a decade Randall Munroe has become firmly established and it’s safe to say adored as the author of xkcd."

And yet look how he did achieved that:

" This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.

This means you're free to copy and share these comics (but not to sell them)."

Randall Munroe spoke to The Reg again. We're habit-forming that way

Danny 2

Re: Dutch

No joke. "Woordenboek der Nederlandsche Taal contains over 430,000 entries" - aye, but it lists all Dutch words since the middle-ages most of which are never used in a modern dictionary or heard anywhere. Plus most damningly it lists the same words multiple times from different sources. So take the word Lekker, great, it lists it eleven times! That's typical Dutch c̶h̶e̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ 'creative accounting'.

English is the greatest language, take it from a Scot.

Danny 2

He answered Time in comic form.

My friend who most took to XKCD isn't a techie or that scientific, but he loves it all the more because he learns more from it. His favourites are the epic diagrams. And he had the decency to buy me the Shark-balloon T Shirt and let me read the first book, so I've informed him of the new one.

I love the ten hundred most common word limit, reminiscent of NewSpeak. Dutch only has 50,000 words which is why they haven't written any world class literature, (sorry, hoor, Anne Frank) but are good at inventing TV game shows and negotiating business deals.

British duo arrested for running malware encryption service

Danny 2

Re: You lose

Bailed for trial means innocent for now. I've been having to remind a fair few cops and lawyers of that lately.

North Korea is capable of pwning Sony. Whether it did is another matter

Danny 2

Occam's Rzr

It was a Sony SysAdmin what did it. Whichever one was most disgruntled. It almost always. I notice this is the 'Sysadmin Blog', ha, covering up for your own just like doctors do!

'Shut down the parts of internet used by Islamic State masterminds'

Danny 2

Some of the BBC coverage is similarly funny this morning. "I apologise, we'll leave that speech just now. That is not the French Prime minister as we were promised, that was the President of the Mayors federation." Or when they mistranslated Bernard Cazeneuve saying "I applaud the cold blood of the people of Saint Denise" instead of applauding their steady-nerves. Apologies to Blondie, but

Saint Denise, Paris

Allons-y, les Blues

Kalifaha, Caliph

Nous venons pour vous

Reg reader achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

Danny 2

"This post has been deleted by a moderator"

That was me, that was, and why should you care, when you are a bit older, and more talented and experienced, and maybe, just maybe more autistic, and you crack the same 'stinkin badges' quote already played to death a dozen times on this thread...

Well maybe to give you hope, if a loser like me can make it to these giddy heights of Bronze Star, surely the most precious metal, and monopolise a thread, maybe you will aim for something better to do with your last night of freedom. I recommend prostitutes and cocaine if you can afford them, they sound nice. Unfortunately I have no beer left and only you. Or fortunately, maybe.

Hints: don't drop all your boasts in the one post; for example, in my last salaried role my first call for MS tech support was an MS VP.

Hints: and then immediately follow through with true self-depreciation; I was too intimidated by his wealth ever to call him for help.

I get a lot of up-votes not because I'm informative, up-to-date, or knowledgeable. I get a lot of up-votes because I'm a loser, I know it and revel in it, my idiocy amuses some of you and make you think how lucky you are you aren't me. It's funny because it's true. More than that though, I assume a handful of people here admire my sheer resilience so far - 'if that loser can keep joking here on his last night of freedom, maybe what I fear is survivable'. Fluctuat nec mergitur, tossed by the waves and not sunk yet, soon to be tossed by other prisoners though and not looking forward to that.

Danny 2
Coat

Re: You can get badges?

"

Who is is wearing badges, Who is making love

Who is receiving from up above

talking in a whisper, yeah speaking in tongues

talking of the devil yeah here he comes

badges, badges, we don't need no steenkin' bajees

Walks up to me, makes the sign of the cross,

says Julian H. Cope, you're a real dead loss

"

Okay, the old ones are not necessarily the best, but at least give me a wee bit of credit for getting the Doctor into this spamalot. 'I wanna be the pappa of this whole darn thread'. Ah the fun of drinking songs with friends, worth it even if I won't see your replies or downvotes and I lose my badge.

"Well, I woke up next morning feeling like my head was gone

And like my thick old tongue was licking something sick and wrong

And I told that man I'd sell my soul for something wet and cold as that old cell"

~Voltaire, Candide

Danny 2

Re: Holy shit!

I'm guessing that is what happened to Danny 1.

Danny 2
Thumb Up

Re: D****

@ Ken Moorhouse

So close. "Danny and Dusty" did a brilliant cover of Knocking on Heavens Door, but they (Sid Griffin) wrote an even more apt one, "The Word is out on Me"

"It's like a little village, man!

I was feeling very sad and so low, I went looking for some liquid sympathy

Went and found some bums down at the depot and those commentards went and called the cops on me

...

Seems like lately I've been paying for things I used to get for free

Don't you know I hear the music playin', whoah I know the word is out on me"

Danny 2
FAIL

Re: Huzzah. Badges!

That's why I love you folk. You at your worst remind me of me at my best.

I was working at a high tech, let's leave it nameless for now, Cisco-kid, and some younger coder was joking away about $ rm -rf and how disastrous it can be. And because he was chatting about it, he did it, took down his own machine, and then groaned and admitted it. My first thought was naturally, 'how stupid can you anyone be?'

And then I typed it in too because, well, stupidity is recursive and infectious. I'd answered my own unspoken question and took the focus off him.

Danny 2
Happy

Re: badges and prison

Getting married counts, and all that sort of love-and-children type success. I often feel jealous of my best friend for that very reason, and although his eldest son is my god-son that is vicarious.

But his wife doesn't like James Spader so he doesn't get to watch 'The Black List', and I do. And his kids love 'Impractical Jokers' so he has to watch that, and I don't.

Swings and roundabouts I guess.

Danny 2

Re: If this was The Mail

If it's any consolation to Mail readers, but the time I'm likely to get out I'll have lost my bronze badge qualification.

Danny 2
Pint

Re: Pot money

What a nice thought, but no donations necessary. It was enough to see this unsolicited thread as the first headline I read after coming out of a mad day in court, as I now know I'm able to survive a heart-attack event.

ProtonMail being down didn't lose my emails, just delayed things. My lawyer has unspammed me, although I doubt he'll ever be my Facebook friend now. My anger has effervesced into utter bemusement. This anecdote will be funny 'in time' but right now the jokes on me - I mean, how does anyone manage to get thrown out of their own trial without being able to get arrested? I was expecting Porridge but this is a legal version of Fawlty Towers, unfortunately with me as Manuel.

At various points over the past 11 months I've been asked about my mental health, I assumed out of concern, now I realise they were just checking if they'd done enough yet.

Unless you actually meant money for cannabis, in which case I'd say yes, that might help. I am afraid I don't know any dealers (yet, I guess I'll meet some inside) except the complainant. And bail restrictions forbid me from approaching them.

Beer Icon, because that's what I spent my last bus-fare on.

Danny 2

Re: un Wanted Man

Ta, and thanks to Drew for the shock of seeing me in the headlines when even the local papers wouldn't be interested.

I should fix one thing, "We'd like to assure readers that nothing D**** has posted *here* in the last 12 months merits jail time".

Danny 2

un Wanted Man

It's me. I got thrown out my own trial and I can't even get arrested now.

I was told by my lawyer, court appointed against my wishes, to expect a prison sentence - the actual 'crime' is a bit tech related and a bit funny but I'll save that story for my release.

The trial though is after 11 months of 'intermediate diets' that started off daft but have descended into farce. I got ejected from the court today for wearing my jacket 'disrespectfully' (back to front, I was freezing) and told to wait in the corridor. The Sheriff hadn't even arrived, he always turns up late. Then a court official from the next court ejected me from the corridor, even though I had my jacket on the right way. I went to the PF office and go told to wait in the corridor and my lawyer would sort it out, was ejected again so I asked a cop in the cafe to arrest me - which they refused to do without a warrant.

I'm all psyched up for prison but this is doing my head in, so I go for a long walk. I don't want to waste police time so I go back at 4pm, the court is meant to run until 5pm but they've obviously ejected all the criminals and finished early. I ask at the PF office if a warrant has been issued for me, yes there has. Good, can I turn myself in now then? Well, the paper-works not been done yet, the PF may invite you in or send out officers to look for you. I'm difficult to contact, can I just go to the police station and ask to be arrested? You can ask.

Which I did, and no they wouldn't. I'll try again tomorrow. The relative sanity of a police cell is increasingly inviting just now but seemingly they are hard to break into. Je suis agitée par les vagues, et ne sombre pas.

Hold on, France and Russia. Anonymous is here to kick ISIS butt

Danny 2

Paris pal anecdote

I'm looking in particulary for a persian doctor who used to volunteer at that theatre over a decade ago, and the guy who introduced us.

His name at the time was Ahmed, he changed it when his white French wife gave birth "to stop dog shit being put through our letter box" in the posh apartment they lived in. I hate to think what it's like for them now assuming he is okay. He told me a lovely story though that's worth sharing.

His father brought him and his brother and mother to Paris when he was a toddler, because his communist grandfather had shot the local Imam in Algeria.

As children they'd ask their dad, "Papa, why can't we go to the mosque with all the other children?"

"Because we worship your mother, she is our only god we have to obey, and so going to a mosque would be blasphemous".

Even as an adult he still wouldn't go inside a mosque for fear of his life, though he insisted I did to see how beautiful it was. He explained, there wasn't just the religious tradition to arabs, there was the wine and song and poetry tradition. Me and him got drunk on Scotch and were the first people to translate this into English: Give me the Flute - Gibran Khalil Gibran

"

Give me the flute, and sing

immortality lies in a song

and even after we’ve perished

the flute continues to lament

"

Although our translation suffered from our whisky, hence the link.

Danny 2

Re: Talking of violnt retaliation

"I'm afraid I'll have to let some of you go. The people are complaining about excess prophets"

(A huge pdf for an 'Omni' cartoon joke that you can probably imagine without the download)

That's the thing with prophecy though, it's best served with hind-sight or else it is just a PLOT SPOILER. I was disappointed to learn today that I'm a glummer doom-monger than even Daesh are, they expect another four Caliphs before the 'end-times'. Hopefully in quick succession, we are allegedly down to our last pope. Nostradamus said in a letter to his son that only one person would ever understand his prophecies, and no wonder since William McGonagle wrote better verse.

I am living proof that Daniel is an arse, I'd sort of hoped for Luke and ended up as Samson, now Job.

I predicted yesterday I'd be in prison today, all the signs pointed that way and I tried my best, yet I was wrong yet again. I'm not suffering from a Cassandra complex, true but unbelieved, everything I predict is immediately proven wrong as if by divine intervention. "As if by magic", said Mr Benn. As if.

I know one way how to respond to your "Daniel 11:14" that you'll understand. Cheer up, "Daniel 11:15".

Have you even seen Dr Who? Or read Jean Paul Satre? Broaden your visions.

72 hours on the Virgin tech support line.

Danny 2

Only 5 days older & I'm right-wing

The Paris attacks changed me from afar, just because I'm worried about friends. I'm suddenly pro-war (well, pro that war), pro-arming of all British police (the ones who can pass a psych test at least), pro-internment of relatives of terrorists, pro-death penalty. I'm still against torture, but only because it doesn't work, not for any principled reason.

I'm giving serious consideration to going to Iraq to fight and die for the Kurds once I'm free to. I'd be an utter liability, no army training and the heat alone would kill me, but... I learned how to fire a rifle when I was a kid, have some electronics and computing ability, and I am happy as any Daesh moron to die for my god, Satre. I do realise I'm being even more ridiculous than Anonymous are, without their excuse of youth but I would sign up for any volunteer Dad's Army/ International Brigade.

Doctor Who: Nigel Farage-alike bogey beast terrorises in darkly comic Sleep No More

Danny 2

Re: There are monsters on your eye lid

Sorry, hoor. The older we get, the more invisible monsters we see. Google "Toxoplasma gondii" if you are brave and don't want to sleep tonight. I have even worse things under my bonnet, I should probably not share online, even at this time of night.

Our bodies are fallible in many horrid ways. Computer security and virus protection- to hell with the hardware, won't somebody think of the humans? Doctor?

Danny 2

Re: 'Morpheus wide-awake pods'- dumb hole a-hole

This weekends 2000AD? Did I just dream I was asleep for thirty years? That explains the sand in my (oh regression entangling me into yet another sonic screwdriver black hole cauchemar).

Danny 2

Re: Apart from the chance to offer a gratuitous insult to Farage...

"you might think differently if that were your wife, brother, sister or child in Paris that night"

This is unbelievable admittedly, but true none the less. My ex was the volunteer doctor in that theatre for about a decade before I met her until after she dumped me circa 2002. All French venues require an active doctor. She was technically raised as a Muslim but not as you or the terrorists would recognise, and she may not even have been there or in France that awful night. But I am very worried, I haven't traced her or several other Parisian pals yet. I've just got an email lead on one of them that may help me find out if most of them are okay, but so far that's all I have just now. A hope for more info. later.

I can cling to that in lieu of facts. I am fearful tonight for people I loved, not a wife or child admittedly, but still, people who shaped me. I hope that they contact me when they eventually think of me, because it is unlikely I can contact them just now. I sort of get social media for the first time.

I've suffered this waiting worry before, my best friend out of contact for a few days after the Bali bomings, my sister and her children in the London bombings. I know they have better things to do than phone me of all people, I get that.

And I get the fear you feel when you hear that one of these terrorists was a fake refugee as you doubtless predicted. I'm not intimidated at all though, because the majority of the Parisians I'm worrying about were themselves refugees.

You and we are facing a murderous terrorist group, a heavily armed criminal gang called Daesh. Not a 'clash of cultures', not an existential threat, not an actual state. I bet you own a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' mug or poster or T shirt. Read it, and weep.

Don't let psychopaths change your reasonable political views, or else they win.

Danny 2

Re: @ "refugeesnotwelcome"

Or, and again this is with permission:

UK GIN DEPENDENCE PARTY

We're not fascists, are we, dear?

Bring that bottle over here.

Now. Where was I? Enoch Powell?

Sod this irritable bowel!

Do you play goff? Come down the club.

Just a snifter, lovely grub...

What, no blazer? Borrow mine.

Chin chin. Maggie, '79!

Now. Where was I? Nigel Farage?

Dear! More bottles in the garage.

Danny 2

Re: @ "refugeesnotwelcome"

Wait, let Attila the Stockbroker handle this:

Yes! Homosexual Daleks

And they're sponging off the State!

With huge Arts Council grants

to teach delinquents how to skate!

It's all here in the paper -

I'd better tell the wife!

For soon they will EXTERMINATE

Our British way of life.....

This satire on crass ignorance

and tabloid-fostered fear

Is at an end. Now let me give

One message, loud and clear.

Golf course, shop floor or BNP:

Smash bigotry and hate!

Asylum seekers - welcome here.

You racists: emigrate!

Danny 2

There are monsters on your eye lid

They are Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis. They sleep in your eyelash follicles, often pushing the eyelash out when too many squeeze in. And they travel across your face to feed on your dead flash when you sleep. Gatiss was going easy on you.

By contrast, I have had a helluva cold for the past ten days now, so I slept through last nights episode and watched it at 5:30 am with my eyes encrusted with gunk. Perfect!

Plus a Tardis materialised inside my nasal cavity about a week ago, so when I breathe in and try to expunge the phlegm, it sounds exactly like the Doctor's Tardis.

Merseyside DDoS daddy given eight months behind bars

Danny 2

Re: Modern take on an old saying.

When I first noticed the Anonymous protesters against Scientology, I congratulated them on their target and their V For Vendetta masks. I told them Alan Moore would be proud of them once he heard, as indeed he was.

Their response was deflating. "Alan Who? V for what? They're just cheap Guy Fawkes masks, they seemed appropriate".

And when they recommended the LOIC to all their supporters, and had to be told explicitly that it identified their IP address and there were better tools available, I realised they were all slick video, no actual threat. Actual script-kiddies at least can cut and paste scripts.