* Posts by Danny 2

1153 posts • joined 6 Jul 2009


Hey Mister Prime Minister ... Scott! Can you get off my lawn please, mate?

Danny 2 Silver badge


My grumpy old heart was just warmed by something else. I am regretting in advance posting this, because I'm a single, childless man and this will inevitably seem creepy.

I clicked on a BBC website article, Lockdown has helped endangered seahorses return to UK waters

It turned out to be a Newsround, ie kids TV, article, which I've never visited before but I read the comments and they are darling. So nice to each other. We should be more like that here. Albeit without the emojis, I only know the sad face and happy face ones.

Wait, I'm going to try to cut and paste a hedgehog - nope, "The post contains some characters we can’t support".

Fine, El Reg, if you can't support a hedgehog emoji then I understand.

Panda emoji. Rainbow emoji. I think it's an avocado emoji. Hedgehog emoji.

Adapt or die.

There's always a coronavirus angle these days: Honor intros new smartphone with built-in temperature sensor

Danny 2 Silver badge

Way ahead of you - and now behind

I bought a Maplin remote thermometer fifteen years ago, and a Lidl Oximeter four years ago. Unfortunately in the past weeks my dad has thrown them out. Nobody tells you this about dementia, but never leave anything you value lying around. It's all 'clutter'. I think he's thrown out my teeth, again, but I'm not searching through the bins again - facemasks will suffice.

My dad just asked, "What is that co - that thing Boris had?"


"Aye, and what is that other disease that starts with co?"


"Aye. What's the difference between them? If you catch one can you catch the other?"

I spent ten minutes explaining that Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus-2 (SARS-Cov-2) is just one of several coronaviruses but this one causes a disease called Covid-19.

"I can't get my head around that. Are there three diseases? "

"No dad, just the one but it has three names and nobody minds which name any of us use"


It's bin night tonight, highlight of my week. Sadly I'm being serious. Wee bit of exercise, get to nod at the neighbours. It's the closest I get to sex now.

As anti-brutality protests fill streets of American cities, netizens cram police app with K-Pop, airwaves with NWA

Danny 2 Silver badge


From the Guardian:

If you’ve been following the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag on social media you may have been surprised this morning by a sudden flood of Korean characters and the repeated phrase: “We stand against racial discrimination. We condemn violence. You, I and we all have the right to be respected. We will stand together.”

The source of this is the world’s biggest K-Pop band, BTS, who posted on social media this morning

[I just got a curt email from (I think) Antifa about the US protests: "Antifa are antifascist not pyromaniac"]

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

See, I used to live almost opposite Strangeways at the time of the riot. Nobody was beaten for days. The ring leaders that made it to the roof were just let be generally until they got cold enough and hungry enough to want to come down. Facts seem to have this terrible habit of not aligning with your world view.

Congratulations on your X Ray vision that allowed you to see through the prison walls. I had to rely on books on the subject and first hand testimony from both prisoners and officers.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

A polite no. I ken fine that there will be thousands of US idiots calling themselves 'antifa'. There is also a pre-existing group called Antifa. Totally different things. Antifa will be extremely annoyed, and by now frustrated, by self-described 'antifa' as Antifa is a tiny, kind of elite, closed membership group.

I only heard this online, but I knew the people involved. 15 years ago somebody at an anarchist conference in England was punched for labelling himself antifa after Antifa had warned him not to. And when I say punched, I mean knocked out with a single punch. Antifa weren't attending, one of them just knew he'd be there.

I have a high degree of confidence in stating that all US members of Antifa will know about the Strangeways Prison riot. In fact that is a good Turing test to differentiate Antifa from wannabe 'antifa'.

You might feel I'm picking minor differences, but it's important now POTUS has declared them all terrorists.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

"The reality is to a person they're all just bored middle class children looking for a fight."

Aye, you are guessing (badly) but I actually know. You shouldn't guess and you definitely shouldn't second guess me. They are all very adult, mostly male, very hardened, ultra working class. For example, a veteran of the Strangeways Prison riot. Have you ever been beaten by prison officers for days and still fought back?

Like Trump you are mistaking Antifa with wee boys who call themselves antifa. You don't want to be on the same intellectual level as Trump, do you?

The point, the valid truthful point I was making, is the tiny group Antifa are definitely looking for a fight with actual fascists, just not with cops or anyone else. This is a smear&fear campaign by a deranged far-right POTUS.

Apart from the factually inaccurate politically motivated smear, the thing I hate most is how US media pundits pronounce it. It is not An tee Fa, it is Anti Fa.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Antifa ; Anonymous

I do get your point. For a decade I always tried to correct the media about what the word 'hacker' meant, but once everyone except techies thought it meant breaking into computers then I guess that's what it means.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

My knowledge is incomplete admittedly, but your ignorance is complete. There is a long standing very small group called Antifa. They regard themselves as the spiritual grandchildren of the Battle of Cable Street. I doubt many of them are anarchists, or at least they never circled the capital A in their name. They get very annoyed at non-members who refer to themselves as antifa, even genuine antifascists.

If the American group is like the British group then they won't even be at any of these protests unless the KKK or neo-Nazis are there - and then Antifa will turn up too.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Antifa ; Anonymous

I forgot about the Black Bloc, one of the Daily Mail's most dangerous villainous groups. It isn't and never was a group. It was a list of twenty tactics on how to prevent innocent injuries during resistance to police attacking a demonstration. I only read it once, it was hosted on the personal server of some Republican Arizona professor under a 'free speech' disclaimer circa 2002. I think some teenager wrote it, the only gem of wisdom I can recall is, 'Don't throw objects from the back of a crowd, only from the front'. Something about wearing black clothing to avoid identification, changing in and out of those clothes, and wearing padding under them to lessen injuries when the police beat you.

You can buy 'The Anarchist Handbook' on Amazon. Don't. Firstly the author has disclaimed it. Secondly, it's incredibly dangerously inaccurate and misguided. I downloaded it in about 1990 at work, back when you were allowed to call yourself an anarchist at work, and as an engineer it was extremely if inadvertently funny.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

Name the "several different groups" you think are acting as a "rent-a-mob", and tell us who you think are renting them.

I don't have many, or in fact any, areas of expertise on this exalted forum, but I'd bet I'm the only person here who has met Antifa and can estimate their numbers and reason d'être.

I must add I fully agree that the response should be non-violent, has to be non-violent, and the violent protesters should be condemned. I just don't believe they are organised or paid for groups.

One thing that struck me strongly, ignoring the police murderers and their under-prosecution, is the lack of intervention. Someone filmed it, and people complained, but nobody intervened. As an activist I was trained to throw my body on top of and around a victim, as a literal human shield. I know that sounds weak in the UK where most police don't carry guns, but that tactic was learned in Israel/Palestine. The idea is it gives the aggressor pause for thought.

I honestly don't know if I'd be brave enough to follow my own advice, never been tested that way but I hope I wouldn't have frozen.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: "Yes, Anon activists are back."

Nope. You can tell from the English Riots in 2011, misnamed the British Riots, that all the looters were opportunist local chancers acting as a mob but not knowing each other or organised beforehand.

You do get young anarchists who use the opportunity to kick out at the police and vandalise banks, etc, but again not a group. They are just trying to make some Riot Porn so they look brave and get laid. I doubt any of them has read any anarchist writer.

Neither of these types of idiot is a mob for rent. They are not even as organised as a flash mob.

[The heat doesn't help calm things. I was half listening to BBC news and they announced May was the funniest month on record in the UK. My first thought was it was a joke, but they went on to serious news. Second thought, this has been a lousy, tragic least funny month. Third thought, they don't keep records of funniness.

Sunniest. I've not been outside much and am going deaf.]

Danny 2 Silver badge

Antifa ; Anonymous

I've met members of both.

Despite what everyone has read Antifa is a tiny closed-membership group, about ten to twenty members in the UK, probably the same in the US. They have one role which they stick to tightly, standing up to street-fighting fascists. They don't get involved in anything else. Didn't get involved in Occupy and I assume not these protests. Many young protesters called themselves 'antifa' because they assumed it was a cool contraction of anti-fascist, and Antifa were always livid about that and threatened them until they stopped. I told them I thought they were too protective about their name, but now the POTUS has labelled them a terrorist group I understand. But when a name gets co-opted, it's best to rebrand.

Anonymous started with a protest against Scientology which was cool. It's always reported that their Guy Fawkes masks were inspired by Alan Moore's 'V For Vendetta' I went up to them at the time and said, "V For Vendetta - cool!"

Sadly they hadn't heard of V For Vendetta, or Alan Moore, they were just the coolest looking masks in the nearest shop. Alan Moore was proud of the connection so nobody tell him. I'm sure they all got into him afterwards.

They published their 'Low Orbit Ion Cannon' attack plans, I forget against who, on an activist website, and me and another techie checked it out and went ballistic at them, and warned everyone not to participate. Ironically I guess it wasn't anonymous, it displayed your IP address. I recommended an HP stress test that did mask your IP but they knew better, and dozens of their volunteers were arrested. I thought at the time that was deliberate, to mask the one or two of them with botnets.

We spent billions building atom smashers – and now boffins think nature's doing the same thing for free?

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: whether it might even be possible

The speed of dark is obviously faster than the speed of light; it's always there first.

The Edinburgh Fringe festival isn't happening this year, but that won't stop a digital sign doing its own comedy routine

Danny 2 Silver badge

To be fair, everyone pishes and the council have closed all the public toilets.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Students and tourists and spying landlords

Current headline story in the local rag: 'Noisy, drug-taking' students the alternative to holiday lets say couple told to stop running Airbnb

“We also have ring doorbell video camera installed on an external door which alerts us if there is any loud noise and a motion. We monitor our guest’s behaviours.”

I should add that if lockdown restrictions have been lifted by August then Fringe venues will be allowed to host events.

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Four countries - same CLID?

Aye, I'll assume any contact tracer is malevolent even if it is a Scottish CLID because no phone number has been published here.

Public information about contact tracing is available on NHS inform.

404: Page not found

Plus I don't know where my phone is, no use for it now. One mate called me for a chat and I effused because it was the first time in five months I'd heard a non-relatives voice. He laughed because apparently he is an 'essential worker' and got to go out three times a week.

[Although I can see the benefits of a system that warns me I was inadvertently close to someone English. Fe Fo Fi Fum, I got an alert about the blood of an Englishman]

Privacy activists prep legal challenge against UK plan to keep coronavirus contact-tracing data for two decades

Danny 2 Silver badge

There is no F in weigh

I've been locked down with two vulnerable octogenarian parents for five months now, would love a tech balm to this - just can't trust Westminster/Cheltenham an inch.

The very fact they are insisting on keeping the data for beyond the pandemic is just expletively untrustworthy and self-defeating.

VirtuaVerse: Cyberpunk point-and-click throwback with ace chiptune soundtrack put out by... a metal record label?

Danny 2 Silver badge


No comment, just don't know any punks who could code. And both terms are wee bit 1970s.

Trump issues toothless exec order to show donors, fans he's doing something about those Twitter twerps

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: the US military should open fire on people on American soil

Hitler was nice to his dog. And Goebbels was his Reich Minister of Propaganda.

Trump's tweet isn't a misinterpretation by anyone than you. It's a quote from 1967 Miami police Chief Walter Headley. Trump, and every other white American, knew what he meant.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Hitler, literally

Thank you for a good joke. With two upvotes and two downvotes I was worried we were dividing into pro-Trump versus pro-Hitler.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Hitler, literally

Say what you want about Hitler, but he was never censured on Twitter for glorifying violence.

You all have to admit this is hilarious.

Danny 2 Silver badge

when the looting starts, the shooting starts [interrobang]

....These THUGS are dishonoring the memory of George Floyd, and I won’t let that happen. Just spoke to Governor Tim Walz and told him that the Military is with him all the way. Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you!

Not sure that tweet can be fact checked by Twitter. Maybe by a psychiatrist.

This'll make you feel old: Uni compsci favourite Pascal hits the big five-oh this year

Danny 2 Silver badge

@Stephen Wilkinson

Downvoted for humble-bragging about being young. This is a care home.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Genius on dunce translation

A very smart, probably autistic but whatever, electronics engineer was tasked with teaching me programming when I was a fresh apprentice. I guess his boss saw some possibility of talent in me, but he didn't.

The very first thing he said to me was, "Write out the Fibonacci sequence using Pascal."

My honest, gormless reply got a rare smile from him, and then a groan that later became common

"I know who Blaise Pascal was but I've never heard of Fibonacci."

Actually, he may not have been autistic. Much more likely I am just stupid enough to ascribe better intelligence / education to some weird brain condition. But I think I got a point for knowing who Blaise Pascal was. History of Mathematics, worth reading to the end.

Software bug in Bombardier airliner made planes turn the wrong way

Danny 2 Silver badge

Covid Mirror

Left instead of right should be easy to adjust to, right? I have sympathy for the pilots. I passed the BA cadet pilots tests, great at MIrror Mariokarts, and I have still been having real problems pulling my own teeth and cutting my own hair in a mirror.

Made-up murder claims, threats to kill Twitter, rants about NSA spying – anything but mention 100,000 US virus deaths, right, Mr President?

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: IT Angle?

Joking, ta for yer concern though.

The day I can call my dentist then my mental health will be just fine.

I'm a partial anarchist, could never commit because nobody had plans for an anarchist dental school.

I've quit good jobs to see him, longest professional relationship in my life.

I would have married any dentist who would have accepted, but nobody who saw my mouth would have. And I dated a surgeon. Who needs a surgeon? Dentists are the key workers.

I am the reason Americans joke about British teeth.

Not all my fault, my mum used to feed me sugar sandwiches. White bread, white sugar.

Danny 2 Silver badge

I was given a Soviet Russian tank commander goggles, hat and dagger as a child. A fair few trees, well they probably survive to a degree. But I was cool as....in my defence I was a child. The two games were 'Japs and Commandos' or 'Cowboys and Indians'.

I invented 'Soviet Assassin''. Nobody but me was cut or shot. Aye, I had a rifle too.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Wee bairns throwing stones

Sorry to bore you but I have a half dozen stories on this subject. This is the most recent. Local kids were throwing stones across a garage roof and hitting the cars on the other side. I don't want to be a disciplinarian or adult so I just asked them why. Their football was on the roof and they were trying to knock it off.

Recklessly, with very bad throws..

I asked them why they just didn't climb up and retrieve it, apparently they can't climb. So I hoisted one South African Celtic wean up, and then he expected help down. I was reluctant because sad.

I told him just to dreepy down. He said he didn't know the word 'dreepy', and none of his friends knew either.

Bit of a kick.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: IT Angle?

I've already congratulated it, defended it and applauded it. Can't roll that back.

I've been locked down since Feb 5th with two awful elderly parents because I knew what 'pandemic' and 'novel' meant. Pulled two of my own teeth.

Haven't had any internet access for two days, which was kind of the cherry on top of lockdown. Can't get to my pain medication. I'm a ball hair away from a murder/suicide pact. It's just nice to vent here, and see other people venting.

In short, pro-mob, if they socially distance.

Danny 2 Silver badge

I think it's just author nowadays. Actually I think it always was.

I was outside Pippa's flat in 2006, sleeping and listening to the BBC World Service, expecting her to join me for an action against a Mel Gibson statue, and two drunk guys attacked my car while I was in it. As you do.

And I froze for a minute, because WTF?

I had a big hammer on the passenger seat, because, well I already explained, so I picked it up and gave chase. They had a minute head start on me. I really couldn't catch them on foot but I really could have thrown the hammer and hit one.

And this is gradually going through my mind, weighing it all up, and stop. Accept the car damage from two drunken idiots rather than kill one of them and become a murderer.

Now if I had two hammers that story might have ended differently.

But I really can throw a hammer, I'm a Scot. We practice as children.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Twatter in Chief

Luckily his big red button on his desk only orders a butler to bring a coca-cola.

Nobel peace prize for whichever Whitehouse aide thought up that.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: IT Angle?

IT Angle: First time Twitter has had to correct a President, and a President has tweeted his desire to destroy Twitter. Like it or not social media is kind of IT.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Booo-ring

Actually, Andrew has just taken a pop at No.10's nudge unit psychofugue.

Subtle, but definitely /r/politics drivel.

[I notice his avatar is 1979 Orlowski. Not a criticism, ageing sucks big time, only slightly better than the alternative. Someone took a good photo of me in 2004, I looked happy and passable, lived off it for a decade. But it was not me.]

Danny 2 Silver badge

Crap-flinging at an Olympic standard

Brilliant writing Kieren. Some of my US pals are just too wearied and saddened to comment.

"Crap-flinging has become a regular response"

He called it a super-duper missile.

If I Die Tomorrow - David Rovics

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

Danny 2 Silver badge

I compared Trump to Barnum last week, then immediately apologised to Barnum, who apparently was a reasonably decent local politician.

Laughing UK health secretary launches COVID-19 Test and Trace programme with glitchy website and no phone app

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I want to punch Matt Hancock

"Would it help if we found you professional assistance?"

Yes, if it was a dentist. I would, well it'd be rude to say what I would do if you found me a dentist, but currently next to toothless so use your imagination.

Angry and unhappy is a perfectly accurate descriptor. No offence taken. True.

I miss my dentist more than my first love. Or any of them.

Danny 2 Silver badge

I want to punch Matt Hancock

He is probably the best of them but he has a resting Nazi face.

Tories with teeth should not be a thing while I miss my dentist more than than my youth.

5G mast set aflame in leafy Liverpool district, half an hour's walk from Penny Lane

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Digital literacy

"This email has failed it's domains authentication requirements. It may be spoofed or improperly authenticated"

On an email from my MP's parliamentary account. Admittedly, she is an SNP MP, but still.

I could tell it was her, I've heard her speak. Parliament is in recess but are their IT folk?

Danny 2 Silver badge

Burn the forests and the churches

I've seen phone masts disguised as trees in Scotland. And sometimes they are hidden in church spires. And burn the IT guys/witches.

Twitter ticks off Trump with new 'Get the facts' alert on pair of fact-challenged tweets

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: No Cummings please, we're British!

He is a total Scunthorpe.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

Oh, and my family were never politically connected, I was.

One of the first times I visited the peace camp I drove Fungus down to the Helensburgh Co-op to buy cheap bread. I had two bags of it so I moved to one side to make space as she finished packing and paying. A wee jobsworth pocket Hitler put their hand on my shoulder and warned me sternly not to run. I reached into my jeans and handed her £500, and told her if I ran she could keep that.

For years I didn't realise people were treating me with respect because I was successful, I just thought people were nice. Not so.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

The idea was to get arrested inside Faslane. Bandit alarm goes off and everyone inside gets locked down for 30 minutes. Which is extremely reasonable behaviour in the face of nuclear annihilation.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

A long time ago I was with a female activist with MS in a wheelchair, we were breaking into a nuclear military base but caught at the fence so no real threat. And the MoD plod arresting her started hurting her - not me, just her. She said to me, "Don't do anything". The smirking MoD fraud arresting me said, "Are you going to do anything?", obviously trying to prompt a violent response.

I said, "Aye. My family isn't poor, I'm politically connected and my brother in law is a QC. Unless you stop your colleague immediately I will make sure you are both sacked, prosecuted and sued. You will lose your houses and be unemployable".

That worked. It's surprising how reasonable people can be when you reach out on their level.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

Don't know where your weird version comes from, but the real version is 273 characters at most.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Above The Law - Freedom of Speech

George Floyd, RIP

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: I would pay full ticket price...

I just checked, the First Amendment is 273 characters including spaces and punctuation.

Maybe someone should tweet it at him to save further confusion.

God, I'm going to do that. Finally I have a reason to register with Twitter.

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Ooh, fun!

I'm pretty sure Scots disapprove of Cummings unanimously, even Tories. Well done to Douglas Ross for resigning from the cabinet. He's a referee and that Cummings was a clear red card.

Not going Huawei just yet: UK ministers reportedly rethinking pledge to kick Chinese firm out of telco networks by 2023

Danny 2 Silver badge

Glastonbury Town Council 5G Advisory Committee

Pulling apart a £339 anti-5G USB stick

And Emily Maitlis was pulled from Newsnight after criticising 5G. Sorry, Dominic Cummings. I keep getting them mixed up.

'I wrote Task Manager': Ex-Microsoft programmer Dave Plummer spills the beans

Danny 2 Silver badge

"write this stuff down before I forget it all"

Personal motto, and I think it should be a national motto, or at least an El Reg Motto. Who was I writing about?

cmd.exe is dead, long live PowerShell: Microsoft leads aged command-line interpreter out into 'maintenance mode'

Danny 2 Silver badge

Dot Pat files

I was leaving one Dutch company and my replacement chatted on the phone to a customer about Dot Pat files. My Indian English junior said, "Did he just say Dot Pat?", and I replied, "Aye, noo ye'll miss me".

I'd taught the English Indians a lowland Scots dialect so we could chat alone when the Dutch broke into Dutch - supposedly an English speaking company. I learned a wee bit Punjabi. And also how to freak the Dutch out - just wait until they've finished their chatter then say 'waarom niet'?

If someone could stop hackers pwning medical systems right now, that would be cool, say Red Cross and friends

Danny 2 Silver badge

Re: Haven't they heard of the Streisand effect?


"The root cause for this is that there is still a mindset in healthcare that good data / information is a 'nice to have'"

Kind of, but I disagree slightly. My take is there has been a bias against security in the healthcare industry because there is a bias, an assumption, that people are basically good and rational and so would never attack healthcare.

It's arguable and perhaps provable that most people are basically good and rational, but it's easily provable that some people are the opposite.



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