Posts by Big-nosed Pengie

MS spins IE security disaster into Windows 7 upgrade opportunity

Title

Pig ignorance or paid FUD? You decide.

"Much loved"?

I call bullshit. It's not "much loved" - it's two things: idiot corporates who've drunk the M$ Kool Aid and designed their apps to run exclusively on Ayeeee 6 and now can't afford to redesign them properly, and consumers who fell for the "a computer is like a fridge - you turn it on and it goes" bullshit, who wouldn't know what Windows was and whose computers are prime botnet nodes.

Ballmer: no China exit for Microsoft's Bing

How surprising

not.

Poisoned PDF pill used to attack US military contractors

Could it be

that this attack only works on one particular operating system?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Google Wave invites stack up - who's still playing?

I don't get it

Why does it invite a stack up?

Apple's 'latest creation' debuts January 27

Gonna be interesting

Tablets have been around for years, but apart from a few very specialised apps, no-one's been able to think what they're useful for.

Though Apple is at least as evil as Mickey$haft, unlike the latter at least they do what they do well. The question is what does it do?

Of course the fanbois will line up to buy them (they'd buy dog turds if Apple sold them), but is that enough?

NASA finds cocaine in Space Shuttle hangar

Title

It'd help them pay for it.

Exploit code for potent IE zero-day bug goes wild

Mine too

Idiots

Gmail?

What do they expect?

Close

But no cigar. It's time abandon this shite called Windows.

Avatar expands 3D TV interest

Beat me to it.

Great CGI, great 3d. Fucking appalling cliche-ridden story. IOW, just what we've come to expect from Hollywood.

Security experts dissect Google China attack

I don't get it

Google, the "don't be evil" liars, conspire with the Chinese gubmint to censor the Internet. China does what it does, and Google yells "shock, horror", picks up their football and goes home, expecting the world to say "oh - aren't they good - they're standing up to the Eebil Chinese."

Ptui. I spit.

'God help our smartphones,' vicar prays

Title

I wonder if he could drive the Microsoft daemons out of my Windows Mobile dumbphone?

Samsung Omnia II

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As the proud owner of a Samsung mobile phone running Windwoes Mobile, I can say without any hesitation that it's the buggiest, most counterintuitive piece of shite I've ever owned. If I'd paid for it myself rather than being given it by my employer I'd be bloody furious at being take for such a ride.

Santa Fe man demands half a mill for being near iPhone

Pft

This is America. He'll probably be awarded all he claims and more.

Blu-ray capacity to increase by a third

title

3D makes movies with abominable scripts like Avatar watchable - but the novelty will soon wear off. Ultimately you can only cover up appalling scripts and appalling acting for so long. Good stuff will be good watched on an old analogue CRT - crap will always be crap.

I agree

Excellent 3D. Couldn't cover up the shitty story and scripts unfortunately. I had to go home and wash the cliches off afterwards.

Will a service pack for Windows 7 rock up anytime soon?

This would be...

...a service pack to a service pack...

El Reg sparks international incident with Olympics committee

Well done.

El Reg is doing its job.

Microsoft joins IE SVG standards party

Run away

Microshaft only ever have one reason for joining a standards push - to fuck it up. Tell them to stick it up their corporate clacker; develop the standard and let them implement it if they feel inclined.

Fed watchdog barks at cloud security

Stupidity is its own punishment

Anyone who trusts personal or corporate information to the "cloud" deserves all they get.

Firefox 3.7 to feel need for speed with multicore boost

Agree 100%

I decided to try Chrome and was pleased to see that it has Adblock and Flashblock plugins - but no NoScript! Could this be because it lets us to block Google-Analytics? Bye-bye Chrome.

Oz bank thinks it's 2016

Apparrently

Yes.

Idiots.

In-depth probe fails to hit the G-spot

No,

You're not.

Hacker rattles 21,000 iPhone unlockers

Jezuz krise!

You buy this shite, knowing that it's screwed down, then fuck around with it to undo the screws and wonder why you have problems.

Seriously - Apple fanbois! Where's the <eyeroll> icon?

Court: iPod hearing loss your fault, not Apple's

Just wait

This will be overturned by a higher court. Common sense must not be allowed.

iSlate? I spy more control from Cupertino

Woohoo!

Another solution in search of a problem from our friends at Cupertino.

I predict that the number of sales will precisely equal the number of Apple fanbois.

Google Chrome OS goes native (code)

Spot on!

More crap aimed at putting everything in the hands of the application provider instead of the user. Google is the Microsoft of the second decade.

US mum calls 911 over Grand Theft Auto

Only in America.

Mind you, they should have tasered the parents and recorded it for youtube distribution.

Serious web vuln found in 8 million Flash files

This looks like another job...

for NoScript!

Verizon snuffs Google for Microsoft search

WTF kind of operating system

locks you down to one browser?

Time for a change.

Firefox 3.5 wins top dog browser crown - sort of

And the winner is...

Standards!

The more browsers there are in the wild the more important it is for web sites to be standards-compliant. MIckey$haft's ability to force the sheep who use their crap to adopt broken models declines.

China moves closer to a smut-free internet

For Kriste's sake

Don't show this to Australia's Stephen Conroy - it'll only give him more ideas.

Angels can't fly: Official

Angels fly on god power

The wings are just for decoration.

Microsoft loses appeal on Word injunction

Hoist with their own petard.

Love it.

Hungary mandates open standards

Gah-dammit!

Why is it always the funny foreign countries that make the sensible decisions?

A decade to forget - how Microsoft lost its mojo

It'll be interesting...

to see what happens at the end of the decade in a year's time. It's always dangerous to make predictions a year early.

"If Microsoft can convince open-sourcers it's genuine - and if it no longer lobs grenades on intellectual property and patents that poison the atmosphere - then it could harness open-sourcers on Windows and Azure."

ROTFL. "Release the flying pigs!"

Crypto snafu grounds 3D Avatar screenings in Germany

Film?

Film has Digital Restrictions Management now?

How Google became Microsoft: A decade of hits, misses and gaffes

@Steven Hunter

"The decade starts counting at zero, just like computers do."

No, the decade starts counting from 1, just like computers don't. Our Lord Jezuz Krise was born in Year 1 (whenever that happened to be), so that was when it started. Apparently Jehova must have willed it that way.

Microsoft cops to webcode theft

Sue 'em!

Sue 'em for a brazillian dollars!

Google says ad blockers will save online ads

Title

"What happens when Chrome controls 90 per cent of the market, for instance, and Google's largest advertisers start demanding satisfaction?"

Nothing. Anyone who cares will still be using a browser that blocks the crap.

Mystery co. sues Apple, IBM, Microsoft, Adobe, Oracle...

Oh, Lordy!

Fine xmas entertainment indeed!

/reaches for a handful of Goat Jam's popcorn.

El Reg uncovers Tiger Woods tech angle

Tiger who?

Who?

Microsoft urges Flash makers to pay fat dollar for exFAT format

title

Really - you've gotta love patents and monopolies, haven't ya.

Parcelforce fails to deliver for Windows 7 lovers

Title

Whoever has made that initial decision is obviously in a job. This is where they went wrong.

Title

And the browser matters why?

Title

On the contrary. Delivery drivers are supposed to know how to drive.

Title

If they were stuck in the 20th century they'd have no problems. When the Internet was invented it was platform-independent. It was Mickey$haft (or, more specifically, the incompetents who accepted their dross by ignoring standards) who broke the Internet.

Bullshit

There is only one certification needed: http://validator.w3.org/

BTW - "They are contractually obligated..." The word you're looking for is "obliged".

Scareware slingers flaunt fake MS endorsement

@Stone Fox

"how long it takes a mac or linux user to slip past the hubris detectors and make some smug, semi-honest but utterly worthless comment here..."

How about a worthwhile comment, then:

Never use Windows. Never.