* Posts by lukewarmdog

647 posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

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Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Groundhog Day

What's the possibility of it producing one of these?

I've got things planned for mine and need at least 12 hours to get myself set up.

Getting drunk the night before has no effect on exam results

lukewarmdog
Badgers

in conclusion

"We got the kids drunk to prove a point and we failed. BEER IS STILL BAD THO"

Er no.. they just PROVED scientifically that beer isn't bad.

What they should have done is got them so drunk they missed the exams.

Teen's mobe loaded with X-rated smut

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Living up to their name

Carphone Whorehouse

Geezer eBays 'bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile'

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Pulled

Not in the good way, listing is no longer available on ebay :(

Pirate Party UK launches manifesto

lukewarmdog
Pirate

This article is pure WIN

Thanks for taking the time to cheer us all up, Reg.

http://getoveryourselves.org.uk/seriously/itsaPIRATEpartyffs/

You know, in case you decide to get a sense of humour.

Man could face prison over six second 'extreme porn' clip

lukewarmdog
Big Brother

Relevant Legislation

"Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008"

So it was a politician taking a backhander over a Visa?

That episode of Big Brother needs classifying. You know, the one with George Galloway.

/shudder.

Botnet pierces Microsoft Live through audio captchas

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Clever.. or not..

All that technology.. and then "Mamma mia! your grandmother is doing so strange things here! Look at these delineations!"

It's like a clever kid allowed his stupid cousin, who may also be his sister, help with the coding.

PayPal enables cash-by-slap

lukewarmdog
Badgers

"Do you Bump?"

"Sure I do"

/gets out phone

/cries as phone is stolen

Steve Jobs and governator tout transplant reform

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Opt-Out

If you aren't a donor you shouldn't be able to receive donated organs either.

Cuts both ways.

Blunkett: 'The dog howls when I whip out my ID card!'

lukewarmdog
Badgers

That's not his ID card

But it's ok.. that's not his dog.

Massive FBI computer overhaul is put on ice (again)

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Couldn't send email attachments

Seriously?

And they couldn't pop to a nearby cyber cafe?

Or send SMS?

Or use a fax machine?

Maybe my grandma worked for the FBI because she couldn't do any of those things either.

Tories go nuclear, promise to prop up carbon price

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Only Greater Manchester?

"The Tories note that by 2017, the 3GW hour shortfall will mean "a 15 minute power cut for every household in Greater Manchester, every winter night for a month"

What, they're not going to spread it out across the country? It's grim enough up here as it is. Won't someone think of the Northern children?

Mandy quango says Apple, Amazon are too obscure

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Doesn't go far enough

Amazon and iTunes SHOULD advertise themselves more.

On Google.

Price discussion should be held on a private yacht with Mandy present, naturally.

Apple boss gets $22m bonus

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Bonuses

Big deal he ran the company for 6 months. By all accounts he runs it anyway. Personally I rather feel it runs itself. I reckon if I'd have sat in that seat for 6 months, iPods and Macs would still have sold, the iStore would still have sold apps and "re-invest in Microsoft stock" would have remained my mantra. Nobody is "worth" this kind of money.

Ex-worker blamed for car immobilisation hack

lukewarmdog
Badgers

nocar

Surely the potential for something to go wrong leaving you in charge of a suddenly immobilised car is massive. 60-0 isn't good for you or the car(s) behind you, worse (maybe) if you're in the middle of crossing a railway line. Couldn't there be a noise complaint if your car continues to make a honking noise which you can't stop?

I appreciate the idea of affordable rentals but it doesn't sound like rocket science to disable the device as soon as you're off the forecourt.

Facebook faces Home Sec over lack of 'panic button'

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

Close social networking sites

1) get the CEOP button on there

2) wait for all the kids to report everyone all the time for nothing

3) close the site for wasting police time.

Go go Allan.

Apple bins iPhone covers

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Where will I buy my protectors from now?

Ebay of course, where I've bought all my others from. You can get 3 for a couple of quid from Hong Kong OR you can get 1 for a tenner in an Apple store. Shopping is so complicated.

Net downloads cause 'millions of lost jobs'

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Band

My brother reccomended a band to me, I listened to them on their myspace, five of us then went to see them and I've just got tickets to see them again. The outcome isn't materially any different from if he'd given me their CD, mp3s, a tape etc.

If you extrapolate to the whole country, as reports are wont to do, my brother is single handedly saving the music industry.

One in four UK schoolkids admits hacking

lukewarmdog
Badgers

quarter of all kids

try and get on their mates social networking sites.

most of those don't use secure passwords themselves.

tl;dr kids are basically stupid.

Energizer battery rechargers still haunted by trojan backdoor

lukewarmdog
WTF?

Call me old fashioned

But whatever happened to plugging them in at the wall and waiting for the LED to change colour?

Irate Aussies go after US website

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Que?

"articles which can be read and downloaded in Australia are considered to have been published in Australia."

Really? Are they considered to have been written by Australians too? Are they owed royalties for everything an Australian has seen?

Waledac botnet 'decimated' by MS takedown

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

decimated

Whilst it's silly to argue on the Internet, claiming that this word has "evolved" or is "generally accepted to mean something else now" is fallacy. Evolution isn't continuing to use a word badly and using a word badly in front of a few people doesn't make it acceptable.

Given how many other more correct words are available why use this one?

As for how you "fix" a riddled PC once it has been cut off from the Internet - you take it to a PC shop where they upgrade it for you. Let's get these PCs off the Internet first and worry about fixing them second.

Twitter seeks to embed self in everything

lukewarmdog
Troll

"half the internet"

lol. that is all.

Twitterati swarm on malaria campaign

lukewarmdog
WTF?

Seeing as

The Gates Foundation is single handedly erradicating malaria with nets and modern medecine can do the rest, why are we raising the profile on this? By all accounts it will go away all by itself

Manchester's on fire for ID cards, claims ID minister

lukewarmdog
WTF?

I was

considering applying for one just to wait their time printing out an application pack but I can't even bring myself to that level of enthusiasm.

On the .gov site it says you need a passport to apply for an id card which has left me really confused.

Twitter bomb hoax man changes plea

lukewarmdog
Grenade

plea change

According to the thelawyer.com link earlier, the charges against him have changed hence the plea change.

ID cards have three databases, says minister

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Three databases

"the third bit is the one that links the two"

A database to link two other databases? Someone sounds confused.

Bring on the GE, I'm more than ready to vote this government out, the next one can not be any worse.

Battle lines drawn in Apple-Google warfare

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Until

As with Pre, a simple update that stopped your Google flavoured device accessing your Microsoft based PC or Mac would indicate this was a real war.

Not only moving Bing in but actively blocking Google by default in Safari and IE would make this a real war.

Cosying up to China would make this a real war.

Until then it's just posturing.

Crooks plant fake payment card terminals at multiple stores

lukewarmdog
Alert

how

Did they manage to remove and replace the number pad with nobody watching? Isn't there usually a CCTV camera pointing at ATMs?

As for the cost of locking them up.. maybe the answer isn't longer sentences but different ones. I'd suggest neutering as a good deterrent. Followed by a lobotomy. Then maybe chopping both hands off. Then feeding to hungry pigs. This should be the standard penalty for most crimes that get media attention.

Police issue lock-up-your-chihuahuas killer owl warning

lukewarmdog
Badgers

animal expert

"we do no(t) know which parts of our native fauna it would pick on for its prey"

Really? Nobody at the RSPB knows what it eats?

Also did nobody think to tag this metre tall, pet eating monster with some kind of gps tracker?

You could easily strap an iPad to something that size.

Drought effect on rainforests is negligible

lukewarmdog
Pint

Friday

Yes I agree with the eco rabble, El Reg should totally transform itself into a peer reviewed establishment with proper in-depth climate control credentials. Now if one of you hippies could bring me some organic ale in a recycled glass I'd be most greatful.

Database state breached 11 times

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Wont someone think of the children

The technical reason that all kids couldn't be issued cards is simple. Nobody could afford the umpty trillion currency running cost of such a system, this is IT after all.

Then there would be the loss of cards, the misuse of them, the fact that cards proving you are a kid are a paedophiles dream, the outrage from well you know, outraged people.

I personally don't think we should be encouraging a card carrying children state.

Jesus Phone to exhibit holy gift of bilocation

lukewarmdog
Badgers

multi tasking

Over rated.

I use my iPod to play my music, I use my PC for gaming and my phone for actually talking to people wirelessly who are too far away for me to shout at. Actually I still use my phone then as I don't like shouting. Everything else is done by other people.

Steve Jobs Flash rant put to the test

lukewarmdog
Badgers

flash flash flash

It doesn't really matter whether flash runs well or badly - Apple aren't going to let it run at all because they have their own thing they're bringing to the table. The discussion over quality is moot at best. Time to get back to watching flash movies and playing flash games on my PC which doesn't crash or run really slowly every time there's an advert on a webpage.

PayPal restores Cryptome for real

lukewarmdog
Badgers

bank

Who leaves money in Paypal?

The second you transfer some money to me it's going into my real bank.

In fact, it would be easier all round if you'd just transfer the money into my real bank and bypass Paypal altogether. Especially if I was going to publish some paperwork on Paypal, what did they really think might happen?

Anti-binge drinking ads add to binge drinking

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Choice?

I choose to get wasted and have sex please. Oh God please. Wont somebody think of my chances of practicing to make children.

SeaWorld killer killer whale must die, Bible insists

lukewarmdog
Badgers

"It's in the name"

No it's not really. It's name is Tilly and it's an Orcinus orca. I could call my hamster a killer hamster but wouldn't make it so. Even if it did kill someone it wouldn't make the genus killers.

If the whales were known as killers of humans before they captured it, locked it in a small tank and forced it to perform tricks then the blame couldn't be really placed on the animal now could it?

lukewarmdog
Badgers

stoning

I thought biblical types were all dead against drugs.

Doesn't commandement 420 say :

And thou shalt not smoke the leaves of naturally occuring plants (except at such times as big business lobbies Government to have it allowed).

Google says desktop PC is three years from 'irrelevance'

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Romans

Yes.. the good old Romans. If they sent a scout "over there" and it didn't come back, they didn't investigate at all. Which is why they were always being ambushed from behind.

If only they'd gone "over there" a bit they might have had a really successful Empire that lasted a really long time.

Oh wait, more Gollocks.

Real Networks rolls over to Hollywood

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

No sympathy

For Real as they are numpties. I don't bother ripping movies anymore, if I want a backup copy I'll just download one. Score none for Hollywood.

PR outfit trumpets NHS deaths 'crisis management'

lukewarmdog
Megaphone

more

taxpayers money at work. Won't somebody think of the taxpayers?

eBay scammer gets four years

lukewarmdog
Badgers

eBay say

"eBay UK ... explained the modus operandi of the crooks"

"They advertised premium goods, accepted money off people then sent them counterfeit copies. Clever eh, took us 3 years but we finally figured it out"

Apple yanks Wi-Fi detectors from iTunes

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Thing is

Maybe the app(s) shouldn't have been there in the first place but they were.

Unless they were illegal in some way, why delete what is a revenue stream for the developer and the publisher? Apple often just leave me scratching my head.

Brits blame Apple, Nokia, RIM et al for smartphone woes

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Apple

So if we want to cut down on hardware and software glitches then we should buy from a manufacturer who controls the channel - in this case the Apple store should win out. In the case of WinMo it could be argued that trying to design for too many handsets and too wide a userbase is actually a bad thing.

Then again asking 155 people, some of whom don't even own a phone, isn't much of a survey.

Men lie more in online dating - except about their weight

lukewarmdog
Badgers

2D?

Is that double D?

I meet 4D women all the time, they're the ones who don't have time for you.

David Atherton: 'I don't miss Dabs'

lukewarmdog
Badgers

I made loads of money

And spent loads on coke.

Hmm, seem to have misplaced my papal hat in a forrested area. I hope no bear steals it, has a poo in it then brings it round to my house to return it but then steals it again.

DARPA asks you to cram petaflops super into single rack

lukewarmdog
Badgers

smart computers

A much much better spend would be to come up with more intelligent humans by 2018, multilingual, capable of remembering a lot of stuff, good at formulating really clever plans and with advanced social skills. People are already self-aware, low power, easy to move around the world at short notice. Couple them with DARPA-improved iPhones and send me my money please.

Web wags stage IE 6 funeral

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Undead

Still very much alive in the NHS.

Street View threatens to throw Eurostrop

lukewarmdog
Badgers

Street Unview

Google really think they're our parents. I wouldn't mind if they'd "lend" me some money and give me lifts to concerts, until then they're going to have to treat us as adults with genuine concerns about their policies.

Google Research probes educasearch engine

lukewarmdog

I for one

welcome our Google degree wielding overlords.

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