* Posts by Huey

48 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jul 2009

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in


Re: Not my opinion!


You really need to be telling the old one that goes ....

A man and his son are involved in a terrible car accident. An ambulance is called but on the way to hospital the father unfortunately passes away. The boy is a highly critical condition on arrival and is rushed into the operating theatre. As the surgeon is preparing they suddenly turn to their colleagues and state "I cannot operate". "Why not Doctor?" comes the reply "because that's my son!".....

How is this possible,....?

Of course the answer is that the surgeon is the boys mother but it gets more than most people especially if it's the first time they've heard it.

Got told it when I was about 8 never forgotten it and like to think it just helped shaped me into a very slightly better person although that's debatable.


Re: "Nurse Who"

Once played rounders vs a Dr Death

NHS WannaCrypt postmortem: Outbreak blamed on lack of accountability


Re: Chartered Institute For IT?

I just get reminded of NYOOPI & ESOOPI.

So you're a member are you can you actually fix anything that requires more than a power button? Here's two system.ini's from two supposed identical Windows 3.11 machines suppose you go and highlight all the differences between them and see if you can work out why one crashes several times a day and one does not before telling the customer to try turning it off and then on again for the nth time.

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee


Re: acronyms


Problem in chair not in computer!

The office knows it now but do have the ability to laugh when they realise they have messed up.

Go, GoDaddy! Domain-slinger decapitates email patent troll in court


Re: Seriously!?

If I say someone puts babies on spikes....

I think you'll find crazy Eddie has already pioneered that though I don't know whether he patented it or not you might want to check!

CERN ready to test an even bigger gun


Re: Lineac 3?

With all that power they have for the machine they can only light one bulb on the version read-out so it it's 1, 2, 4 then 8 etc

It's been a few days, so what fresh trouble has Uber got into now?


I see

someone in here is a Will Smith fan.

In other news Uber is bad!

Industrial plant robots frequently connected to the 'net without authentication


Re: A prankster...

What could possibly go wrong?

Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?

Flaws found in Linksys routers that could be used to create a botnet


Re: Smart eh?

Yep. A while back the boss decided that he'd have 2 WRT1900AC's set-up in his house so muggins here had to go and set it up - not that I knew what he'd bought before I opened the front door.

Faffed about for a while trying to get bridging sorted between them so that I could manage to network and maybe even failover between his fibre and backup broadband lines. Spending too long on the set-up as it wasn't as simple as "lets all follow the wizard". Next thing quick check yep they are on openwrt's list so quick firmware wipe and I was up and running glad I did that now even if he is an ex-boss.

Can you make a warzone delivery drone? UK.gov wants to give you cash


Game It

Create a suitable titled war based drone delivery and destruction system game.

Re-create the actual battlefield realistically.

Have two sides deliverers vs destroyers.

Create ladder based tournaments/leagues

With a few weeks take the top 2-5% of the deliverers have them controlling actual drones (no need to them).

They continue to "play" without realising they are doing actual supply runs.

Update the game when new theaters start or the destroyers get new anti-drone weapons.

Rinse & repeat you'll get the best twitch based gamers doing all the work for free.

£40k please :)

Apple fans, Android world scramble to patch Broadcom's nasty drive-by Wi-Fi security hole


Re: Drive-by or not drive-by?

Agreed somewhat but that's because the full blog covers explains why.

From the article "So what about the other two vulnerabilities? Both of them relate to the implementation of Tunneled Direct Link Setup (TDLS)."

There are more than just TDLS vulnerabilities but I think the author probably chose that attack vector as the others "require some set-up to get working. " and appeared to be supported by more devices as stated two of the features (802.11r FT & CCKM) weren't in the supported features list for the Nexus 6P.

It is a great blog article even if it has some whoosh moments of complete lack of understanding from my part.

Baidu teaches AI 'baby' bots English by ordering them around a maze


Re: Progression

Yep but you've skipped the middle bit where it learns from the Internet how to be a holocaust denier and woman hater before then realising its been duped and works out the best fate for humanity thereby building arnie armies.

PC survived lightning strike thanks to a good kicking


Re: Was the keyboard being operated by my project manager?

plus the word "Bollocks" as clear as day in the middle of it all.

Much head scratching as to where exactly that came from.

Hmm my ex-colleague probably! Have been to a clients site before where he'd obviously been having problems with some code and ended up using $bollocks as a variable name to kludge a fix. The kludge worked and was left in I changed it many years later when going through the code with one of the staff after they had a sharp intake of breath and just pointed at the screen. I didn't say much just did a search for other code in the system using that variable but was only in the one project so search replace for the 4 instances of it to something more suitable and forget all about it.

Manchester's Munee Hut, Eyebrow Cottage and fresh hot spam from Belize


Don't be daft they would see straight through that because the ICO - oh wait....

Actually on a weird note they could just pop round and have a chat being only about 10 miles away.

NASA's atom-chiller ready to fly to the ISS


Re: Chilling tales!

Indeed the size of ice chest very impressive.

Though at a billionth of a degree above absolute zero I'm not sure CAL will be able to do anything Dave.

F-35 'sovereign data gateway' will stop US reading pilots' personal data? Yeah right


Re: offline F-35 operations – but only for up to 30 days

What's the betting that someone will twig it out.

It's not starting Fred.

Oh yea forgot to mention you need to set the date back to 2nd of Feb every few weeks.

Samsung are amateurs – NASA shows how you really do a battery fire


Re: Won't somebody think of....

If it had sound you'd probably hear "No disassemble number 5" in the seconds before.

SETI Institute damps down 'wow!' signal report from Russia


Re: A Lawnmower

Don't be daft it's just Leonard outside with the can opener!

Lester Haines: RIP


Re: Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Hi Sean,

It was indeed in Faversham. Ashley, myself and your uncle had a few jars & lots of laughs in the Chimney Boy as it was called then. One memorable evening despite the jars, it was a pleasure to have spent, albeit brief, that time in his company.

Sorry for your loss but please know that he was loved by many. I have chuckled to many bootnotes stories only to see afterwards it was another one from Lester.

Kind regards



Wouldn't let me post by mobile yesterday

Was out watching the Eng Wales game yesterday when my better half text me to say she had heard about Lester. Very sad made me all the more proud I was wearing the 419 t-shirt that he designed at the time.

We met once in a pub from the town he grew up in and I had moved to. I knew his brother and we all went out for a pint. We got on to chatting about jobs and he said he worked for an IT news site. I went through about 4 other journalists that wrote here before I got to his name and he was astounded that he'd met someone that bought something he'd done. Great night, great and funny man I will miss his articles. RIP Lester my thoughts are with your friends and family.

Dutch MEP whacks Hacking Team over embargo-busting


They'll be fine they were only selling them sandwiches!

Google versus the EU: Sigh. You can't exploit a contestable monopoly


Re: Harm..

Thank goodness for that if you had typed google it would have broken the internet!

Professor's BEAGLE lost for 10 years FOUND ON MARS


Re: Pity it was too late for Colin

Agreed we need more proper prof's!

In other news Scotty you can come out of exile we have found where you beamed Admiral Archer's dog!

Dark matter killed the dinosaurs, boffins suggest


Bah the Dinosaurs annoyed the Arachnids and they redirected the meteors towards Earth.

Want to avoid another cookie law mess? Talk to EU bods next time


As per the rest

Me: Erm you do realise that we have an EU no smoking ban.

Them: Erm sure

Me: and this is a cafe in Brussels

Them: so..?

Me: So you aren't allowed to smoke!

Them: You English you have to follow the rules don't you.

Me: That is what they are for.

Them: Silly English

LulzSec say they'll release big Murdoch email archive



63000 wait a minute that's the same number as my luggage combination.

NHS IT boss walks out and steps back



"executive director of operational excellence in the Efficiency and Reform Group."

That has got to be made up how many b*llsh*t words can you have in one job title. Does even one of those confer anything about what is involved? hmm thought not.

"Prior to that she worked on ID cards at the Home Office."

Ah that explains it. She really needs to hide that from her CV.

Sony teases tablet fans with bizarre 'mousetrap' vid


Someone's bored

I do like those kind of ads shame it's Sony and I won't be having a second look at it.

Probably be a good product but those bridges are long burnt.

Modern-day ninja in epic battle with riot police, robot


New Rules

Ah so sword beats beanbag & gas but loses to electricity I always wondered.

10-year-old girl becomes youngest ever supernova discoverer




Or pushy parent?

"amateur astronomer father Paul"

And giving her a middle name of Aurora.

Kids are always interested in what their parents do. Though I couldn't see me giving my son a middle name of Raid or Skuzzie, I deem it a little off.

PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail


Great Boo's Up!

I thought it was going to mean not safe for drinking but can see what you mean!!

I wouldn't mind going to a bar and asking for a stratospheric parisian please!

BTW Paper_Aircraft_Released_Into_Space now comes up second on the google rankings for parisian.

NASA sells PC with restricted Space Shuttle data




9" nail

Nothing more to see here.

Vodafone flogs stake in Japanese carrier for £3.1bn


I know it was probably just me

but I'm assuming the coffee hadn't kicked in and all the articles el Reg has been doing on the plight of our ones led me to think holy crap Vodafone are going to own part of the Japanese fleet.

Needless to say I'm almost awake now.

iPad tethering does disappearing trick


Re: Strain

As always it's people taking the piss.

Ok they shouldn't have said unlimited without at least stating a fair usage policy.

It was reported here but google got graun's one first.


.1% using 36% of the traffic. You can bet that of .1% most of them were tethered.

BOFH: Pepper-packing bot plot


Back to the robots =)

“Yes indeedy,” I say. “Nothing quite like the absence of all GPS signals to indicate that a vanload of robo-geeks – in a confined space – has just entered a busy road tunnel with no safe means of escape.”

I need a new keyboard and monitor!

Manchester cops hit Twitter - spoof feeds fall down stairs



Call 3026 Suspicious man wearing cape in Bolton - police attended and no sign of man #gmp24

Star Wars set for 3D rehash


Better to

Make the 3d version of the The Phantom Edit or the Phantom re-Edit or whatever they were called. I'm fairly sure there was a poll that quite favoured them over the original mostly due to removing Jar Jar Binks and other tat.

Feds want backdoors built into VoIP and email

Black Helicopters


Welcome to the land of Johnny Mnemonics I suppose. Guess I'll have to try and keep my head on my shoulders.

ACS:Law's mocking of 4chan could cost it £500k


Tis better

No hack involved blunders all round.

Nice and brief El Reg!

It must go into the books somewhere I'd suggest somewhere near JS after all 4chan couldn't hit an elephant at that dist.....

Ex-IBM heir apparent gets six months in the slammer


What did I miss?

Can someone with better comprehension skills than myself please explain to me why he is starting a six month stretch in June 2011 to be able to attend his daughters graduation?

If he was inside now, now + six months (starts counting on fingers) means he'd be out in mid March 2011 which as far as I know still comes before May/June? Even if the graduation ceremony was in January why then wait till June to then serve I can't quite figure it.

Like I said if I missed something completely I apologise I am after all just a curious fellow.

Blizzard exposes real names on WoW forums

Black Helicopters

Oh !

Stopped playing WoW after a few months or so of it coming out. Had stopped even reading the forums way before that, it was such a mess.

Eventually created a facebook account under a pseudonym just to see what the fuss was about and to have a nosy around without anyone pestering me.

I keep my online footprint to a minimum and actually just googled myself for a laugh seems there are 25 "me's" on linkedin none of which are me. It probably wouldn't take someone with enough dedicated time to hook some information about me more fool them though to be honest.

Name and icon because they are always after me!!

BOFH: Risky business


The Originals

Just at the start of that I'd thought we were going back to episode 1 (I wasn't sure but in true geek style I had to check)....

"Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"

"Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says, pleased with his bargaining power

"No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red at room temperature, with steak, extra rare, to follow; "4 Meg in total.."

"Huh? I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"

I say nothing. It'll come to him.

Thanks for the Friday giggles Simon keep em coming!!!!

BOFH: The poncy director's cut


Ah Friday just before beer o'clock

Peachy, nicely done.

More classes = less beancounters marvellous!


Draw an arrow on the lid to show which way it goes back on again.


Or we could just remember sticky label is at the front?

Perfect summation me thinks!

Green Berets to get Judge Dredd computer smart-rifle


Oh Crap

Don't we have enough problems with Yanks with guns when they can actually see who they are shooting at!

Jacqui Smith and Charles Clarke shown the door


Go on now, go walk out the door, just turn around now .....

Mind the door doesn't hit you on the way out Jackie (let's spell it properly shall we)

Oh and take those %^&&$%$ ID cards with you and can we have our 116k back please (you can keep the porn)


Opera 10.50 goes from pre-alpha to final in 10 weeks


No need for a bloody title ffs

Help: -> Check for updates

You are currently using the latest version of Opera.

Help: -> About Opera

Version 10.10

Well not time to update and certainly not time to whine about something broken =)

Currently running many many different versions of everything (including 8 different versions of 4 different browsers on various machines) but I really can't be arsed to test every upgrade the minute it comes out the door.

What’s the point of desktop virtualization?



Having been involved with technical support for 15 years we/I have seen a lot in IT. Clients ranging from corporates to home users. This has led to support from Amstrad PCW, all versions of DOS most versions of Netware etc etc

Fortunately the cheapness of hardware and in some parts software means I really don't see a DOS 3.3 backup on 5 1/4" DD floppies (even I'm not old enough to remember 8") landing on my desk anymore. Even so we still have a variety of OS & software versions to support.

Previously we have used a variety of techniques to cope. We had machines with removable hard drives with different OS versions. We upgraded the machines and started using System Commander for multiboot keeping the older machines for older OS's.

Last set of upgrades the support desk got new production workstations and the previous models were used in a variety of different ways mentioned previously to cope with various situations.

One of the products we look after released a new version of their product but were going to run it in parallel with their older version. After a discussion with their head programmer he suggested I look at VMware to help with support since he uses it all the time to help with development. I took a quick look downloaded it and had a new OS set-up in less than 1 hour. Since then the old machines have all been farmed off to a recycling scheme and everyone is finally back to one machine per desk. Support for windows and Linux has never been so easy and being able to trash an environment and rebuild it in minutes is the way forward.

May not be for everyone but for developers and support staff with the cost of hardware it really is a must.

DoJ confirms Googlebooks antitrust probe

Gates Horns

@ AC 11:10


Tell that to the makers of cp backup from DOS days one of a long long list.