Posts by Ken 16

Airport plods seize man with electric vibro-pleasure shoes

You were asking for trouble;

Having marmite in your luggage is more than a bit odd.

Mine's the one with the brown stains and odd smell in the pockets - no, really!

Jimbo Wales exiles 'porn' from Wikiland

Wait til they start removing evolution

or change the value of Pi to 3 (in accordance with various silly US Laws). This is one area where I'd welcome Silvio Berlusconi setting the standards.

Perv scanner todger quips provoke Miami airport assault

Too small, too big?

When will the littlest bear wander into the scanner and get the approval of the other animals?

Paris: wondering what that little thing is

Man uses meat cleaver to fashion UK-ready iPad

Use a samurai sword or chain saw

Anything else is just arts and crafts and better left to the women of the household.

Paris: she doesn't know what a SIM is but she'll recognise a big chopper

Feel.me up for grabs in dot-me domain auction

Isn't it a shame Yugoslavia dissolved

before the .yu domains got issued...

Building high availability into IT

It's not that easy

Remember it's usually not the hardware which fails, although that's where it's easiest to throw money. The biggest components of service recovery are problem determination and application restore. I don't think I've ever seen application restoration following failure as a requirement during application package selection, that always is viewed as an infrastructure problem or a bolt on.

This is in terms of operational failure, when you talk 'DR' then it adds organisational reaction times to the mix. I've only once worked with an organisation (a global bank) which actually could cope with a disaster hitting it's datacentre.

I've come round to the view that for most businesses, building a bulletproof main environment is more worthwhile than trying to provide a cut price DR environment.

A lot of companies lease a virtualised DR centre > shipping their data and planning to call down capacity from a server farm if they need to invoke DR. I'd love to know how the DC provider calculates capacity and whether they refuse customers who are too close geographically to each other and likely to suffer from the same disasters.

Buy me a pint and I'll keep talking all day about this.

Lufthansa offers iPhone 4G loser free beer

I've lost a phone

Anyone want to buy me a pint?

Swiss police thwart 'eco-anarcho terror' attack on IBM

Are those carbon neutral explosives?

Eco Terrorist? I'd just got to grips with Eco mentalists.

Google Street View logs WiFi networks, Mac addresses

Just in case

I'm not particularly worried about Google's intentions or use of this information, but am generally with the German government that any information out there is really none of Google's business.

I mainly am trying to imagine the conversation on the Google side. Do they just see all data as worth keeping 'just in case' they can find a use for it later? Carrying on from an earlier commenter, I imagine the Google photocopier uploads arse scans following the Christmas party, just in case they can figure how to tie them to employee number sometime in the future.

Britain's bingers out-boozed by Irish

It doesn't count as a binge

if you do it every night!

Johnson: ID cards will pay for themselves

No, no - not your OWN card

You'll only have to pay for the extra cards in other peoples names - a pub distribution list is being set up now and they'll be priced to allow resale at a profit.

Official: Apple iPhone is a chick magnet

Did they show these women photos?

of the queue outside Apple stores when the iPhone was launched?

That was not a studly crowd of fanbois.

Paris: cause she's all about the inner beauty

Angry Romanian hackers deface Telegraph for Top Gear toss

Clarkson will be heartbroken

He may even cancel his subscription to the Telegraph!

Faster Pussycat Kill Kill!

Icelandic ash cloud to keep UK skies closed 'til Saturday

it's pure bad luck

that the tape vaults for all Icelandic banks was built on the side of Eyjafjallajoekull

grenade: because the Icelandic government have been lobbing them down the volcano for months!

Big Blue juices OS formerly known as 400

huh?

or possibly WTF?

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Viral marketing?

by the lads at Nintendo

Paris: wondering if she needs a Wii

Man coughs to sex with donkey and horse

does not have a STABLE address

LMAO

Labour unfriends Twitter rant candidate

Johnnie Walker Red Label is pretty dire

anyway, no-one in Scotland drinks blended do they?

North Korea mobilizes Red Star Linux rollout

Where can I download it?

presumably it adheres to the Marxist labour theory of value and has value in proportion to the time spent on its creation and not on the market demand?

I want a copy - if only to see if the server falls over when someone visits it

Irish civil rights group takes aim at iPad launch

Despite the anti-English rhetoric, it was hosted on a server in Dudley

with the world recognised .dy domain suffix

Royal Navy starts work on new, pointless frigates

@AC

I just mean if it ran Windows for Warships or SAP R/3 KIL module I'd see why it was being reported in El Reg...or even if it had a figurehead featuring Bulgarian Airbags (why don't ships have figureheads these days?) but as it is it seems like a story written because the reporter knows a lot about the subject, not because there's any public interest - I can get that by buying a Linux magazine.

Paris - because it's springtime.

I'm not English

and I don't really know anything about the military - I appreciate this is a big expense for UK taxpayers but don't really know what the IT angle is - isn't this just the same as a huge investment in trams or something else in the Heavy Engineering sector?

(ps: I do understand the difference between England, Great Britain and the UK but the Royal Navy always seemed such a purely English construct and unlikely to change allegiance if Scotland, for example, gains independance)

Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

it happened last night

you probably slept through it - I had a strange dream where I was memorising the winners of every horse race for the last 6 months while Bill Gates scrubbed my floor

Third of UK students would strip their way through college

being f**ked professionally?

Good training for a job with any large IT organisation!

IBM faces mainframe biz European antitrust probe

Why not?

I don't think it would hurt IBM to license z/OS at enormous cost to use on any platform the customer likes...with no IBM support if it fails to work/perform.

LHC boffins crank beams to 3.5 TeV redline

Graphite Core?

Must get one of those the next time I need to take a dangerous dump!

I've a matchbox in my coat, I'll try lighting one...

Two jailed for smutty texts

planning to commit sin?

Would texting a friend to go for a beer when you get home from Dubai also qualify?

Dell bars Win 7 refunds from Linux lovers

The opposite must also be true

If they ship the software without the hardware and don't charge for it, then it's really free

'Twitter gives voice to the voiceless' - eg the US President

Redbull&vodka

Gives wings to the legless

'Phantom Eye' hydrogen strato-spy drone starts building

once the first one drops from the skies

it'll be on the news as the Phantom Menace!

(Paris, she doesn't get it either)

Bing shies away from gay-as-day search results in Arab countries

innuendo filter

well I'd certainly avoid the Sarah Palin cream pie search but the rest of them don't register with me, maybe I need an education.

(Paris, she probably knows what you mean, nudge nudge, wink wink)

Crap Scottish weather favours ginger hair

Red haired men are just sexier, leading to an increase in population

I admit my idea is "speculation rather than scientific study", but describe it as "plausible".

NASA flying car engineer shoots down Reg coverage

don't piss him off

or he'll fly across the Atlantic on this personal air vehicle and take a dump on your roof!

Hey maybe he can sell one to Richard Branson to cross the Atlantic with too?

(yes, yes, I read the range and endurance numbers but don't stop them trying, maybe they'll get some of the extra double good batteries with bunnies in them)

IBM's Power7 pitch deconstructed

"maximum power usage for data center site planning"

Try to get anyone (including IBM STG) to commit to any other power usage figure, I dare you!

Race Telcom WiGoMo One

cheap LoJack

I'd be tempted to bury one in the boot of my car, in case of theft.

Forgot your ThinkPad password? Get new hardware

any relation to

Mr Goatraper?

SWaP Signature watchphone

make it a nice watch

I'd like to see a phone watch that's mainly a nice looking (and waterproof) watch, with a bluetooth unit for both dialling and sound. What's the point of that? Match it to a car unit with rSAP and you can forget you're carrying a phone until it rings.

Argentinians invade Falkland Islands website

Free Rockall!

...lobs one in and runs

Jedi chapter seeks leader after master resigns

Light sabre practice with Captain Solo?

(I'm sure there was an Obi Wan in my coat before I hit it, where'd the elderly nonce get to?)

Southampton chap lodges todger in steel pipe

obviously just cleaning his pipes

for the new year

'We must all stop washing to save the planet'

stopping washing may not make much difference to CO2

but it will probably result in a population reduction over time

(mines the one that stands up by itself)

Uni seeks 'research officer' for sex trade 'fieldwork'

must demonstrate "prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry"

(just checking the pockets of mine for receipts)

Billionaire floats eco dream on sailing soda bottles

soda bottles?

Those are the big wire wrapped ones with the lever on the end, aren't they?

(mine's the one with the naggin of whiskey in the pocket)

UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files

does it count as paranoid

if they're really out to get you?

New Zealand rated least corrupt country

well done Iceland!

...Glad to hear your banking industry wasn't a pyramid scheme after all.

Paris - because some kinds of corruption are fun

High-tech 'blade runner' legs better than real ones - profs

but how would they do in the arse kicking event?

(it's not a coat, it's a boilersuit for atheletes)

Reg hack beats 'Belle de Jour' sex rap

It's

not like someone from the Reg to refuse a possible source of cash...

(I'll leave it on the nightstand as I get my coat)

IT admins: we don't need no stinkin' servers

What's the performance SLA on that?

Paris - because she might host some videos on one

Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

what makes them designer?

as opposed to just bespoke? Are there logos?

NASA: the world will not end in 2012

What can you expect

From the people that faked the moon landing to hide their secret bases.

Their budget forecast doesn't go past 2012 so they must expect the world to end...