Bribo - Its already out there
I have a work dodging, dole scaving chav acquaintance who has already received his Bribo. Apparently fell off the back of the lorry in a stop and search.
My works laptop broke so I borrowed his Bribo for work for a couple of days. 2 weeks later I received a photograph of myself, presumably taken by its webcam along with a £60 fine+3 points for typing at 11 words per min. There is a pitiful limit of 10 it seems. I also received another £60 fine under Section 59 for typing too loudly, I presume it has a microphone too then. Not a bad spec hey. I was thinking of listing it on ebay for my acquaintance as he needed some cash so I took a photo, put my camera next to the laptop to transfer the images but the cd tray ejected at such a rate that the camera was flung across the room, through the window and some how landed in the front seat of a passing police car never to be seen again.
On top of that, my electricity bill has risen from £0.42p to £1.15 per kwh (some “oh the government is amazing because its hugely infated the price in the name of saving the environment” leaflet was included with the bill) and when I plugged my external mouse in, it insisted that I needed to purchase two mouse houses at a cost of several hundred thousands of pounds, pay for the mouse to be cleaned costing another thousand pounds, subscribe the tv channel "naughty blond bombshell mice 12" and then lube up my bottom, sit on the dvd drive and press the eject button repeatedly. Oh how I enjoy being shafted by the government.
But for some reason, my work dodging, dole scaving chav acquaintance had no problems at all with it and after a few adjustments, he could order weed, staffordshire terriers and tesco value lager off the net and the dvd drive dispensed steady stream of ten pound notes every Thursday.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
