"There still is such a thing as a network cable. If your computer doesn't have an RJ45 receptacle, it becomes more fun, but with a USB to RJ45 converter, that can be solved as well."
Great, I'll just order one from Amazon... oh wait Ok I'll go and buy one from a local shop... oh wait.
I'm sure the audience of The Register will have no problem going to one of their myriad of machines to get the patch installed. The problem is the old guy at home who turned on his laptop this morning and it blue-screens. He's not going to have any of that laying around and he's not going to be thinking "lets check out the Microsoft patch releases".
It's inexcusable to break stuff in this way, if it happened to any other piece of home tech people just wouldn't put up with it.