Posts by Peter Clarke 1

Don't panic, US Navy has only deployed a ROBOT SHARK (but where are the lasers?)

Re: Does it need more guns?

If it deploys limpet mines then they could only be named Ramoras.

Obvious icon

What a pity: Rollout of hated UK smart meters delayed again

Re: they say £200

You got the 2028 currency wrong- it will be in Yuan

TalkTalk email goes titsup FOR DAYS. Cheapo telco warns: Changing password WON'T fix it

I had noticed the Home page was slow to load or falling over on Fri/Sat. Strangely, my legacy email with LineOne and Tiscacli domains have worked faultlessly. I'm dreading the day they stop supporting them

Webcam hacker pervs in MASS HOME INVASION

Anti-spying Device

Two extremely effective anti-spying devices are available. One comes in 10m lengths in various colours, the other only comes in blue or white.

Bendy, but hangs loose too: Lenovo Yoga Tablet 2 10-inch Android tab

One Omission

As someone who uses a Playbook for catch up TV on the smaller bedroom TV, the lack of HDMI means no sale. It might also be the same for anyone showing presentations in the workplace

Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function

Demographic

So which Demographic is it aimed at? Adult? Teen? Pre-teen? Brain Dead? I'm-driving-but-I-have-this-great-idea?

When will The Register be adopting this in the Comments???

Xbox hackers snared US ARMY APACHE GUNSHIP ware - Feds

Re: Good Stuff

A bit harsh if you don't want a delivery by Amazon in Arizona

Apple, FBI: YES we're, er, looking into the NAKED CELEBRITY PICS. Aren't you?

My Misunderstanding

This is a NEWS story? I thought it was publicity for the Cameron Diaz film Sex Tape???

Anonymous wifi the latest casualty of Russia net neurosis

Re: Not just Russia

Is that the British way? Make a series of 'security' recommendations until most large companies follow them, then 'We'll just tidy this up with a new law'

Manhattan drone pair cuffed for NYPD chopper near miss

Appropriate Action

If it really was a threat then why didn't they take it out with the chin mounted mini-gun??

You mean Blue Thunder isn't a documentary???

Is there too much sex and violence on TV?

New Category Needed

Where do we complain for programmes that insult our intelligence???

Replies linking intelligence and telly watching following in 5 - 4 - 3 ........

British and European data cops probe Facebook user-manipulation scandal

Never Forget

On Facebook YOU are the product and the advertisers are the customers

How practical is an electric car in London?

Re: On Street Parking

I know some people put extremely loud systems in their car but to ban In Car Entertainment is a bit draconian.

Oh, wait ...

Scott McNealy to caddie for 18-year-old son at US Golf Open

Re: Maverick?

Maybe a friend of Senor Vinales. He openly admits to being a fan of the film. His son is going great guns in Moto 2

James Bond producers sign on for Edward Snowden movie

Plot Line

He's a computer nerd who gets the content of the NSA computer into his head. He's protected by two agents, one a very sexy blonde. He spends his time foiling dastardly plots by the evil organisation inside the CIA/NSA.

Oh, wait, the writers want the script for Chuck back!!

Mmmmm, Yvonne Strahovski on the big screen- I'd pay to see that

$180,000 buys you lunch with Tim Cook as charity auction ending

Surprise For Tim

If Tim thinks he's heard the last from Carl Ichan then he's mistaken. There won't be any making faces to the flunkies when they have to meet face to face instead of on the phone.

Now, Tim, about that deal I proposed .........

Yosemite National Park bans drones

Future Bans

Do plans for the future include a ban on jet boots and shuttle craft????

Oh, wait.....

Monkey steals iPod touch, loses interest in minutes

Further News ....

The keepers are puzzled by an unexpected delivery of bananas and other exotic fruit by the local supermarkets on-line division

Apple to grieving sons: NO, you cannot have access to your dead mum's iPad

Re: Worse to come...

Wasn't that the nub of the false Bruce Willis story a year or two ago??

I would've thought Apple would be able to tally the iPad serial number to the iTunes account in a few clicks. Never mind the courts, go straight to BBC Watchdog and have it plastered across prime time TV then see just how quick it gets sorted

NYPD dons Google tech specs: Part man. Part machine. All Glasshole

Obligatory Robocop quote

Who care if it works? Think of the spares and maintenance contracts!

Never a truer word spoken by Dick Jones, VP Omni Consumer Products

NASA probe orbiting Moon sights ANOTHER SPACECRAFT

Picture Enhancement

In the early CSI episodes they used the phrase 'I have a friend at NASA with an algorithm that will clean this up'

Good news: 'password' is no longer the #1 sesame opener, now it's '123456'

Password Length

On one site I tried to use PENIS.

It told me it wasn't long enough

I like to get these old jokes back out into the community

Snowden docs: NSA building encryption-cracking quantum computer

Who'll be using it

It will be all right unless all this computing power falls in to the hands of people we can't trust.

Oh, hang on a minute .........

Aussie boffins can detect orbiting SPACE JUNK using rock gods' radiation

Not Possible in the UK

...... when (if?) we go over to DAB! Who would have thought the dross that passes for the majority of UK radio could be the savior of space tavel

Facebook makes Adobe fans change their horrible, horrible passwords

Go All The Way

Facebook might as well go all the way and insist on changing your password every month. Just think of the amount of work that will get done when people can't remember their new password and can't log in to FB :)

The truth about mystery Trojan found in space

Re: Bah!

I would have thought anyone clever enough to go to the ISS would voluntarily have all their data storage scanned. Knowing you've just borked the atmosphere scrubber whilst sorting your mp3s should focus the mind.

Obama to Merkel: No Americans are listening to you on this call

Equal Opportunities

Did the German spooks find out their leader was compromised when they sifted through the data provided to them by the NSA???

You thought slinging Photoshop into the cloud would fail? Look who's laughing NOW

Turn the Dial

When will they do a Google and turn up the dial on the machine to generate a higher return per customer to compensate for this drop in revenue??

Doctors face tribunal over claims of plagiarism in iPhone app

Biggest Worry

They're not bothered about being struck off by the BMI, they're most worried about the punishment Apple will dish out for a false review!!!

Obama proposes four-point plan to investigate US data spooks

Another Yes Minister Quote

What;s the point in having an inquiry if you don't already know the outcome?

Same old, same old ...

BYOD for our staff? 'Career limiting' move, says Dell exec

BYOD desire

I thought biggest proponentsof BYOD were the senior managers who had brought their son/daughter to work and had an ESSENTIAL need to access Facebook/Twitter/Youtube/BBM

Apple can't dump Samsung, it needs those iPad displays – report

Re: new format

Samsung or LG ?????

Silicon Valley Cisco reseller charged with $37 million fraud

My Fair Share

Looks like an (ex?)employee wasn't getting what they considered their cut. A bit hard on the employees who weren't in on the shceme

Star Wars missile intercept fails for fifth year running

OCP

Who cares if it works? Think of the spares and maintenance contracts for years to come

Dick Jones, VP Omni Consumer Products

Intel rumored to plunk $10bn down for Israeli fab expansion

Re: they deserve it

Fairly sure that non-kosher bacon was not involved

REVEALED: Google's GINORMOUS £650m London Choc Factory

Retro Look

Looks like 9 60s/70s TV sets on end. Not even widescreen

Reseller Computacenter LITERALLY smokes out squatters from offices

Re: That trick could be dangerous

No mention is made of whether the Fire Brigade attended. I hope Computacenter were charged (monetarily and legally) if they did

Hm, disk drive maker, what's that smell lingering around you?

Reliability??

Been hearing reports of early failure of SSDs- they just fail with no warning as well. Just a bad batch? I've not yet heard of any method of data recovery from a failed SSD. I'm not ready to write off SATAs just yet

Oracle, SAP under attack: How cloud upstarts steal their lunch

Bad Business Model

---NetSuite's revenue for 2012 was up 30 per cent year on year to $308.82m, although it made a net loss of $35.23m, slipping slightly further into the red from 2011's $32m loss. Salesforce's revenue for the year ended 31 January 2013 was $3bn, up 35 per cent year on year, although it made a loss of $270m, surpassing the previous 12 months' $11m loss.--

Have these companies made a profit on previous years?? Wil the bubble burst in the next dotcom crash??

Combover King Donald Trump: 'I miss Steve Jobs'

Another Operation

maybe when having his hair done he should have his hands reduced to Porn Star size. These make 'objects' held appear bigger than they are

Blackstone gives up on $25bn bid to snatch Dell from Mr Dell

Re: Don't believe it

Or convince the shareholders the the Mickey D offer is the only one going. For a 'consultancy fee' of course

Google patent filing suggests Glass will be ULTIMATE REMOTE

Add Ons

Will we be able to get the thermal/UV filters and the shoulder-mounted plasma cannon??

Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor

Testing, Testing ..

That was only a ranging shot. One long, one short and then Footfall will hit its intended target

BBC's new bosses - the lawyers - strike out Savile probe testimony

Oh, wow! Rupert Murdoch is a subscriber ti The Register.

Chinese PLA soldiers 'mastermind cyber-espionage Cold War'

Obligatory Movie Quote

'You know who ya gonna answer to? The Coca Cola company!'

Major Bat Guano, Dr Strangelove

Will we be seeing a soft drinks gap emerge with the commies????

Superbowl blackout was a stuff-up, not Anonymous

Re: Best part of the game

It could happen for 3/4 of a F1 race an no-one would notice, just keep showing the same lap over and over again.

Cable Cowboy lassoes Virgin Media with HUGE £15bn deal

TV Advert

Good, we won't get to see Richard in those stupid adverts. Or maybe it can take the GoCompare route and save the nation from him.

Boffins spot planet that could support life... just 12 light years away

Re: Looks like Pete Cooke

Damn, beat me to it!

12 light years? If we start now we might get there before the end of the world. Oh, wait ......

Harley allows Apple to use 'Lightning' brand on 'playthings'

Prior Use

Lockheed and English Electric/BAC must be worried about the knock on the door

Galapagos islands bombed with 22 tonnes of Blue Death Cornflakes

Next Novel

James Herbert is considering setting his next novel in the SOuth Pacific