* Posts by Peter Clarke 1

280 posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

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Watchdog 'enables Tesla Autopilot' with string, some weight, a seat belt ... and no actual human at the wheel

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Hmm ...

Two axioms apply

You can make something idiot resistant but never idiot proof

OR

If you make something idiot proof then they just make a better idiot

Looking for something on which to spend all that bonus Bitcoin? How about The Hoff's very own KITT?

Peter Clarke 1

Re: The never ending KITT mountain

The same situation exists for Suzuki racing two strokes from the 70s. The ones NOT ridden by Barry Sheene are almost non existent.

You've got to be shipping me: KatherineRyan.co.uk suggests the comedian has diversified into freight forwarding

Peter Clarke 1

Exports to Oz

One news story yesterday was about £44m of MDMA being shipped to Australia in an excavator boom. Maybe the crooks used this company?? They were caught when the dark web mail server was cracked earlier this year.

China bans 105 apps, eight app stores, and says it’ll swing the hammer again

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Re: "Video nasties"

It;s the Disney streaming site. Can't have the populace seeing the Enemy of the State Winnie the Pooh

Channel Isles cop sacked after abusing police database to track down women drivers for Instagram 'comic' page

Peter Clarke 1

Worst Choice

We're short of one officer here in Cambridgeshire. One was sacked for swapping the bar codes of a carrot and a box of doughnuts. Not sure which one is worse

Manchester United email servers remain offline amid what is being called a 'ransomware' attack

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Cliche Fest

We're Sick as a Parrot that our defence let in such an easy goal. We'll all be giving 110% to get back in the game. I'm sure everyone will be over the moon when the final whistle blows.

OR

We take security seriously blah, blah, blah.......

Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah

Peter Clarke 1

New Tour

Great! Spinal Tap are going back out on tour. The art designer got the dimensions right but they used the same locations manager as Rudi.

Have they checked for children's footsteps?

China offers world its COVID QR Code movement passport at G20 Leaders' Meeting

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Coming Soon...

Having to flash your phone is just so inconvenient. A subcutaneous chip (inserted at birth, naturally) that you can never lose and that is scanned at every building entrance/ street corner is under development.

Cool, cool, cool: Screwdriver-wielders delve into the guts of an Xbox Series X

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Gratuitous TV Reference

Zen chips inside- does it respond with 'Confirmed ' in a deep voice when asked to start a game??

You may need to ask you dad to explain this.

Coat, now, the one with the transporter bracelet in the pocket

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Another Source of Interference

So what happens to the badly shielded equipment in a thunderstorm (or other EM pulse)???

Don't pay the ransom, mate. Don't even fix a price, say Australia's cyber security bods

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Don't pay the ransom.

Until he gets your data from the other side. Aahhh- Ahhhh Oohhh Ahhh Ahhh.

I spotted what you did with the headline :)

Physical locks are less hackable than digital locks, right? Maybe not: Boffins break in with a microphone

Peter Clarke 1
Childcatcher

Really? No one?

I've just read through 60 odd comments and not one mention of a Sonic Screwdriver?? Guess I win the bag of Jelly Babies

From per-processor licensing to... per-follower? Oracle said to be in talks to buy TikTok’s US operations

Peter Clarke 1

Any Similarities?

Fast forward 10 years when TikTok is worth 1/4 of its purchase price. MS sues the sellers for over valuing the company that they bought quick for an inflated price because they thought Larry wanted it.

OR

Just like Ebay, ghost bidders connected to the seller up the bid price with no intention of buying the item. (allegedly, M'laud)

Uncle Sam says it's perfecting autonomous AI-powered drone, vehicle swarms to 'dominate' battlefields

Peter Clarke 1

See Also- Philip K Dick

His short story Second Variety was the basis for the film Screamers

Canon not firing on all cylinders: Fledgling cloud loses people's pics'n'vids, then 'Maze ransomware' hits

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Re: "...exfiltrated 10TB of databases and other files..."

Anyone checked Google/Facebook/ Police Facial Recognition data sets?

We're not all about rockets, says NASA: Balloon tech is good enough for economical star scanning

Peter Clarke 1

Re: No mention of ...

A C-130 with Fulton recovery System???

NASA mulls restoring Saturn V to service as SLS delays and costs mount

Peter Clarke 1
Flame

A Sight to Behold

Whilst it would be wonderful to see a Saturn V launch again I feel the launch date will be 1st April 2024

UK Information Commissioner OKs use of phone data to track coronavirus spread

Peter Clarke 1

More Panic Buying

This time for old-style dumb phones with no geo-location hardware. See the flip-phone beloved by Gibbs in NCIS

UK enters almost-lockdown: Brits urged to keep calm and carry on – as long as it doesn't involve leaving the house

Peter Clarke 1

Read the PDFs

When you read the PDF for Business Users it only relates to retail premises. No mention is made about manufacturing/service companies closing. Some of my co-workers at the factory were interpreting 'travel to work only if essential' as only if the business was essential and we should not be coming to work.

Breaking bad... browser use: New Mexico accuses Google of illegally slurping kids' private data via G Suite

Peter Clarke 1

Re: No-one will take notice

A good TV court drama would have this as the case-breaking final argument that sends the bad guys to jail.

ICANN extracts $20m signing fee for $1bn dot-com price increases – and guess who's going to pay for it?

Peter Clarke 1
Joke

Misread the Title

When I read the 'extracting money' title for some reason I assumed it was about Carl Icaan, thought the amounts involved are pocket change to him

Loathed Aussie mining magnate Clive Palmer punts libel sueball at YouTube comedian

Peter Clarke 1
Pint

I name this ship ....

Please, someone convince Clive Palmer to have a public vote to name his next big project...

Geo-boffins drill into dino-killing asteroid crater, discover extinction involves bad smells, chilly weather, no broadband internet...

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Re: Hooray for science!

What you require is a Footfall weapon of the right size. Just zip out to the asteroid belt, find one the right size and nudge it in the direction of Earth. Mass and velocity will provide the energy. Precise aiming could be a problem. Unfortunately we have no SG1 team to provide a Failsafe rescue

You didn't think asteroid exploration was for raw materials did you??

Overstock's share price has plummeted. Is it Trump's trade war? Bad results? Nope, its CEO has gone bonkers...

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Not Totally Crazy

He didn't mention going to The High Court to get money back for the Next Big Thing he bought for waaay over market price

Donald Trump blinks in his one-man trade war with China: US govt stalls import tariff hike on Chinese phones, laptops, electronics

Peter Clarke 1

Another View

The shakedown wasn't from the tech sector on Trump- it was Trump on the tech sector.

"Hey guys, if I delay the tariffs until after your peak selling season, there's something I want in return......"

I could throttle you right about now: US Navy to ditch touchscreens after kit blamed for collision

Peter Clarke 1
Joke

Easy Fix

LCARS works (almost) perfectly on Galaxy Class (star)ships. Maybe the USN should have a word with Paramount Studios??

Make it so, Number one

Samsung tears wraps off Bixby Marketplace, tens of people go wild. (One at the back whispers, 'Siri, what's Bixby?')

Peter Clarke 1
Trollface

Re: Incredible

As above, don't ask Bixby how to change a car wheel.

I'm not sure how good it is to see other people have the same sense of humour as me (and are quicker on the keyboard )

Want a good Android smartphone without the $1,000+ price tag? Then buy Google's Pixel 3a

Peter Clarke 1

Cloud Storage

No option for an SD card?? Add that to the niggle list

Top Autonomy exec Sushovan Hussain: Bond villain or Mob boss? Both, say prosecutors

Peter Clarke 1
WTF?

Magic Money Man

The prosecutors say he has assets of 'only' 60m but want restitution in billions. Has he persuaded them that he can make them money with some good investments???

Defense against the Darknet, or how to accessorize to defeat video surveillance

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Re: Hawaiian shirts

Only when combined with a Red Ferrari and moustache

Amazon boss snubs 'expensive', 'sub-optimal' relational databases. Here's looking at you, Larry

Peter Clarke 1
Alien

Re: 'Would you like a black, always-on cylinder in your kitchen...'

Not sure I'd want one if it came from the Stargate team, even if I did have plenty of primitive projectile weapons

Hurrah for Apollo 9: It has been 50 years since 'nauts first took a Lunar Module out for a spin

Peter Clarke 1

Re: I'm planning aa marathon

You missed out In The Shadow of the Moon. Some people find talking heads boring but trust me what they say will keep you captivated. Tons of gorgeous NASA footage supplies the eye candy. Even the extra scenes are top notch.

Also check out the Haynes manuals

Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'

Peter Clarke 1
Big Brother

Wrong Conspiracy

The CEO was totally honest and is dead. The truth is someone who had a lot of money in his account pissed of the wrong TLA or criminal organisation and they bumped him off to permanently freeze the asets

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

Peter Clarke 1

Obligatory Movie Quote

'I had a guaranteed military sale with ED 209 - renovation program, spare parts for twenty-five years... Who cares if it worked or not? '

Dick Jones Senior VP OCP

Two fool for school: Headmaster, vice principal busted for mining crypto-coins in dorms, classrooms

Peter Clarke 1

As well as his and (indirectly) family members Social Score being reset to zero

Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

Peter Clarke 1
Facepalm

Faxes- the Truth

If you think faxes aren't dangerous wait until you get your tie caught in the roller

It looks like tech-savvy drivers will have to lead connected car data purge

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Factory reset option?

The nub of the argument is that is too easy and quick to add data. If you put your phone on the dash by the time you've fastened your seat belt all data could be synched. It could actually be a feature for hire cars to wipe the data as soon as the door is locked/key out of range

Pluto is more alive than Mars, huff physicists who are still not over dwarf planet's demotion

Peter Clarke 1
Thumb Up

Planet Expressed

Classification to a planet will be good news for everyone. In the meantime, when will Uranus be renamed Urectum??

Thumbs up for the Futurama reference

Jupiter suffered growing pains before becoming our system's big daddy

Peter Clarke 1
Mushroom

Compulsory Sci-Fi Reference

Surely all it needs to become a star is a bazillion black Monoliths???

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Peter Clarke 1

The more unruly school kids soon found/find the mouse ball is an excellent missile. IT support would normally superglue the ring shut so stopping any more investigation of the inner working

Have you heard about ransomware? Now's the time to ask: Are you covered?

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Insure AFTER Checking Security ?

This may link to an article a few months ago. Will the insurer insist of the customer using products/services from a security company they have a deal with?

No parcel drones. No robo-trucks – Teamsters driver union delivers its demands to UPS

Peter Clarke 1

Just one demand

So WTF were the other demands in a 91 page document? Was it written on new-fangled parchment rather than stone or was space-aged word processing technology used??

Under fire for its shoddy response, FCC finally wakes up to Puerto Rico

Peter Clarke 1
Coat

Best Person For The Job

I believe someone familiar with Mobile networks in Hawaii is looking for a job. Oh, wait a moment ......

Sack the Xerox CEO 'immediately', yell activist investors

Peter Clarke 1

Follow the Money

Is Icahn already eyeing up where his cash from the new tax rates is going?? Making America Great Again, eh?

Teensy weensy space shuttle flies and lands

Peter Clarke 1

Re: The lifting body spaceplane lives on

Damn, you beat me to the TV reference

'We have the technology, we have the capability to build ......'

Equifax execs sold shares before mega-hack reveal. All above board – Equifax probe

Peter Clarke 1

Wrong SitCom

You should be quoting Sir Humphrey from 'Yes, Minister'

'What's the point of having an inquiry if you don't already know the outcome?''

Car insurers recoil in horror from paying auto autos' speeding fines

Peter Clarke 1

Farmer Giles

Living out in the sticks there is one problem I wonder how autonomous cars deal with- MUD ON THE ROAD. Normal practice is to put an A4 sized notice 10ft in front of the mud. Will the car camera pick this up in time? Will the farmer finally be forced to clear the mess up as he makes it, as the Road Traffic Act states? Will the 'Have you had an accident...' ambulance chasers make a fortune??

USB stick found in West London contained Heathrow security data

Peter Clarke 1

Re: Maybe....

Any financial reward will be taken into account by DWP and his benefits will be adjusted (down) accordingly. They could also claim he is now employed, stop all benefits and claim it as a result of the tireless efforts of Job Centre staff

Chinese whispers: China shows off magnetic propulsion engine for ultra-silent subs, ships

Peter Clarke 1
Alert

Double Bluff?

Cold they have taken page out of the US Star Wars program and made wild claims, forcing an opponent to spend money try to counter an imaginary threat??

Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

Peter Clarke 1
Go

Trouble Shooters

I remember seeing a documentary series about the rescue team for when things (inevitably) go wrong. They managed it with only five vehicles. They worked all over the world so were truly International. It was FAB.

Time for me to GO! ??

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