* Posts by Equitas

249 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Jun 2009

Page:

New UK 'leccy meters remotely run via Voda 2G

Equitas

There's an answer to that one .....

If no Vodafone signal they have SIMs for a couple of other networks and if none of these work the customer has to make a landline available. Annoyed some of the shop owners in the Eastgate Shopping Centre in Inverness no end, because at the metering point in the depths of the building there's apparently no signal for any network.

Bankers plot telco bypass for payments

Equitas
Big Brother

Interesting possiblities.......

suggest themselves. Especially for phones with dual SIM capabilities.

Old Republic parallel imports okay, says BioWare

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Transatlantic servers?

I need an explanation. Is this referring to Perth, Scotland -- the real one -- or is it referring to Perth Western Australia?

Is the poster aware of where the Atlantic Ocean is? Has he been consuming to much Swan lager or Emu Export?

Paris, because even she knows (at least some of the time) where Paris is.

Apple resellers squeezed out of volume licensing model

Equitas

Who needs or wants Apple resellers?

The hardware is all about image rather than function

When it breaks, throw it away -- accessible service for Apple products is often hundreds of miles away whereas for PCs it's likely to be within a couple of miles

Haven't these resellers been selling people over-priced kit unsuitable for the needs of customers for years?

Exam results texted out early in Scotland

Equitas
FAIL

Name and Shame!

'SQA says it is "making enquiries with our external contractor, who issues the results on our behalf, in order to understand how this could have happened".'

1. So who was the external contractor?

2. What instructions were given to the contractor?

3. How did these instructions differ from those given last year, when early issue was allegedly required?

4. What sanctions were built into the contract?

5. Who carries the can?

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Is this supposed to be related to education?......

"Inverness is rural, more people attend WOMAD than live in the "city""

1. Like it or not, Inverness is an officially-designated city

2. For those who are cerebrally-challenged and incapable of reading a map, it's the capital of and service centre for an area that's larger than Belgium. In such a situation, common enough in many countries, it has the facilities of a city with a much larger population than those who live within the city limits

3. It's actually the fastest-growing city in Europe

4. The University of the Highlands and Islands is based in Inverness but many of its facilities are scattered around the Highlands and Islands, hundreds of miles apart and some of them in areas which are actually rural.

5. How many people live in the "City of London" as opposed to the city of London?

6. Never heard of WOMAD until today. I guess one should have expected some idiot writing on "education" to be incapable of avoiding the use of some initialism, acronym or other impenetrable piece of non-communication

Paris, because even she's not quite that thick.

How to lose 375k customers the Vodafone Hutchinson way

Equitas

Why is it .....

that Oz has a telecoms system that's put to shame by countries like mainland China or even most African countries?

Skype/Facebook integration spawns hijack risk

Equitas

It didn't need Microsoft ........

to kill Skype. There's been a death-wish there for a long time.

It's bad enough having one's Skype account hacked into again and again and money removed from Skypeout -- but the total inability to the system to allow access to a sane human to restore one's identity just beggars description.

It's a pity, because it was a rather useful instant messaging system for worldwide contacts. Especially for communicating with busy people who can answer as and when convenient.

Hackers dump secret info for thousands of cops

Equitas
FAIL

Is it really possible ......?

that the grunts don't like it when the boot is on the other foot?

Some cop-defenders surely aren't suggesting that the police don't routinely use every piece of information they can gather from whatever source in order to put pressure on individuals and their families, friends and acquaintances in order to "prove" complicity in alleged crimes?

The sad fact is that a very large proportion of those who join the police seem to do so because they can wield a great deal of power while hiding behind a uniform, while relying on the system to protect their actual "private" identity from being held responsible for actions which would, if carried out by a private individual, be classed as brutal and criminal.

Publish the names and home addresses of all police officers, I say.

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Ever had personal contact .....

with an American cop in the course of his or her work? They very probably will indeed use a bullet, even if not necessarily into the head of any suspect they attempt to arrest in connection with this alleged offence.

Not saying ours are any better -- it's just that they don't have guns routinely.

Paris -- because even she knows what American cops are like.

Diary of a not-spot: Vulture hack vows, I will never pay BT again!

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Is there no end......

to townies who've never seen pole-mounted transformers in the UK?

It reminds me of the female townie idiot jobsworth who couldn't understand that in the countryside water which falls on the surface of the ground does not necessarily have to be fed into a municipal drain.

Paris, because even she is surely not that stupid.

Thousands of gb.com sites go dark

Equitas
Happy

I'll echo that one .....

Rarely come across any problem resolved as quickly and easily as Nominet enabling me to transfer a domain from an ISP which had effectively gone under and had nominally been taken over by another ISP which could not be contacted.

Heathrow to get new facial recognition scanners

Equitas

Face recognition isn't likely to work ...........

with individuals who wear a burqa. So either Muslim women are going to have to be exempt from the requirement, or the head-covering is going to have to be removed -- in which case there will be an insistence that only Muslim women can be employed in the area in which the said head-covering is removed.

And as for the comments of Hollerith 1 with regard to religious clothing interfering with a job, I object strongly to a female immigration officer, not in an appropriate uniform and with a covered face, examining my face to determine whether she is going to let me into the country.

This amounts to discrimination against non-Muslims.

Equitas
Paris Hilton

I see.......

So we're now going to be faced with having the whole setup controlled by burqa-clad women in order that other burqa-clad women comply with their religion?

Last time I came through immigration at Heathrow I jumped into another queue because the one I was in was moving exceedingly slowly. When I came nearer to the front of the fast-moving queue I could see that the immigration officer (or what I assume must have been an immigration officer) was clad in a burqa -- only her (or I assume it was a "she") eyes were visible.

Something's seriously wrong here.

Paris, because whatever her failings, she doesn't wear a burqa

On counterfeits, fakes and Apple stores

Equitas
Windows

Why are we worried? ...

If people are crazy enough to spend that amount of money buying into an image, they've more money than sense.

Drunken bust-up woman sprays cops with breast milk

Equitas
Paris Hilton

I knew

that American females tend to have extraordinarily large mammaries. I think it's fairly rare for them to have mammaries which are functional, though. Well done for picking this one up.

Paris, though I hope she's not jealous of such mammaries. She does use what she has for other purposes.

dabs.com says sorry for delivery debacle

Equitas

Huh ....

Both Dabs and Scan nowadays screw customers in the northern half of the UK for carriage.

US air passenger cuffed over low-flying pants

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Well I did see ...

... in Canada ... a female builder with most of her bum crack on full display to the wider world. Specially as she was working in a very large supermarket parking lot.

Like Paris, she was hiding nothing

The KILLER MUTANT FUNGUS in YOUR DISHWASHER

Equitas

It's the Greens to blame ...

All those low temperature washes

All those namby-pamby tablets and gels instead of robust detergents

Oh well, there's one advantage -- the eco-freaks will be disproportionately affected

Equitas

Surely......

1. the dishwasher itself has a heater?

2. there's nothing to stop you filling the dishwasher up to the level of the bottom of the door with water at boiling point?

Does a flash motor make a man more desirable?

Equitas

A flashy car may well...

let you pull a vacuous busty girl.

However you might do better long term with that flat-chested girl with a moustache.

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Landrovers .............

do tend to have that effect -- though usually not on bimbos.

Paris, because she's not usually attracted to LandRover drivers.

Dell hails happier UK reseller relations

Equitas

I often wonder ...

how business buyers have time to buy direct from Dell, wasting their time with Indian call-centre droids who listen to not a word that's said. Even speccing it up on the web and ordering it on the web doesn't seem to give total protection from these characters.

Resellers earn their money by dealing with the needless hassle.

The one thing that keeps resellers with Dell is that spare parts are available, which is more than can be said with many laptop manufacturers.

States consider saner 'sexting' penalties for teens

Equitas
Paris Hilton

But they're teenagers ......

so in a few years' time the bits (yes, that's a "b") won't look anything remotely like they do now ...

Paris, because she has them on show whether they look like they did years ago or not

Creationists are infiltrating US geology circles

Equitas

Oh dear! ...........

Plenty of heat but precious little light.

If most of the contributions on this thread establish anything, they make it clear that conventional scientific thinking may claim to have a rational basis, but in fact produces rabid rantings whenever certain of its assumptions are challenged.

Come to think of it, many of the above contributions undoubtedly constitute hate crimes under current legislation.

Not much of a recommendation for what passes as conventional scientific thinking.

RAF Eurofighter Typhoons 'beaten by Pakistani F-16s'

Equitas
FAIL

Hmm. SAAF takes all in front of it?

How many non-white pilots?

Or haven't you noticed the revolution took place some time ago and the politicians who have taken control of the SAAF are now no longer white? So what are you fighting to maintain? Is the SAAF of any relevance any longer? What does it exist to do?

Dixons to flog off old 'brands' Miranda and Saisho

Equitas

Not so sure about that ......

Had reason to boot up a 20-year old PPC this week -- booted first go, and hadn't been touched for 15 years.

And I can't say that my first real computer, a 1512, ever let me down.

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Memorable Miranda

advertised during the early to mid 1960s using a model with extraordinarily large Bulgarian airbags

Paris -- no known resemblance to said model

Think carefully before you chuck out your desktops

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Does he realise....

what he said -- “It was only once we started the migration that we discovered just how many rogue applications there were dotted around the organisation. We then either had to virtualise them or take them away from people.”

Quite! If you want rigid control of simple repetitive tasks all performed the same way across the organisation and if you're prepared to risk it all across vulnerable links, then the system described may make sense.

What beats me is why they bother employing humans at all.

Of course there are "rogue" applications in the real world -- I suppose he means applications which "the organisation" will eventually discover actually did a specific task that the officially-prescribed applications couldn't accomplish.

IT Departments tend to be populated by people who have little understanding or experience of the world beyond IT Departments and little capability of grasping either the true significance of failures of communications links or the real-world inadequacies of their own chosen applications which may well meet the (inadequate) specifications conjured up by managers who aren't at the sharp end of things but can't actually perform the tasks required in the real world.

Paris, because even she's not that dumb!

Comet owner boosted by closure rumours

Equitas

Surprisingly ....

I've found Comet not too bad in recent years and have spent several thousand pounds with them on white goods. Their online service has a very fair delivery policy even to areas of the country which most online suppliers surcharge viciously

Dear Google and Facebook: You don't want Skype

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Skypeout

is the weakest point in Skype. Totally insecure. I've had mine hacked countless time and on the last occasion my account was simply blocked by Skype and I lost my Skype identity entirely. Mercifully I'd long since given up using it and there were only a few pence of credit left on it.

A bunch of incompetents with whom it's virtually impossible to maintain a sensible conversation.

Paris, because even Paris could manage things better.

Reg reader lost for words over blank HP keyboard

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Surely you're wrong ......

those belonging to Paris aren't at all large.

Paris, because everyone knows what she has and hasn't.

Slack bank practice creates opportunity for phone phishing scams

Equitas
Paris Hilton

You don't need to be

transsexual to be on the receiving end of that confusion. Actually, it's quite common for those born female to have voice pitch within the male range which has interesting results in telephone conversations. Females so equipped can have endless fun with cold-callers.

Paris, because she's unambiguously female.

Westpac data centre feels heat

Equitas
Paris Hilton

If I weren't .....

familiar with matters Antipodean I would have taken Westpac to be some meat packing company.

It would be reasonable to write stories which are going out to a worldwide audience in such a way that they are meaningful. One shouldn't have to read through the article to guess that Westpac are in fact a (large) antipodean bank.

Paris, because one can't be assumed to know everything.

RadioShack franchises go gunning for business

Equitas

Detroit

in 1976, when I lived there, was a bit paranoid, but I saw less violent crime there than in London or Edinburgh.

Tie me customer down, sport

Equitas

Some companies

don't understand either the nature of what they're selling or the sort of customers they're selling to.

At the selling end they are clearly employing dimwits who may or may not have accountancy qualifications but clearly have no knowledge of either the sharp end of the business or the business of the customers they're dealing with and marketing persons who are equally ignorant of real life.

Amongst other things, I run a small caravan site. I bought a new mower last year -- £5500 or thereabouts. There's no use chasing me to buy another this year -- I hope the machine bought last year will do at least five seasons and at that price it certainly ought to. We run a builder's merchant account -- and very valuable it is to us. However it's valuable not because we always get the keenest prices, but because 1) goods outwith the capacity of our own vehicles are delivered, 2) plumbing parts are top quality and, although the range is limited, it includes quality items we've found it impossible to source elsewhere, 3) staff know their stuff and are genuinely helpful, 4) it's possible to send someone else to collect the goods without payment difficulties and 5) if there's a problem it can be sorted out in two shakes of a lamb's tail without hassle -- they know us and we know them. Price is not the only consideration. But in the nature of things, we're a small customer. It's not impossible that spend one year might be as low as £500 -- and the next year as high as £10,000. Of course, even in the latter instance an accountant might say "customer not worth having!"

That pattern of dramatic variations in spend from one year to the next is repeated in purchasing for other business enterprises for which I authorise expenditure. Few sales organisations seem to be run by people who understand either the nature of small businesses or the concept of a replacement cycle.

Wanted: Nude female web coders

Equitas

What hair

is it permissible to wear?

French mayor busts overly busty bust

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Surely .................

it's another case of jealous female employees at the Hotel de Ville. Laetitia Casta is certainly not undersized in that department, but who wants to look at something very ordinary? Surely the attraction was in the divergence of the original statute from the norm as far as breast size was concerned? And surely that's also the attraction of Keira Knightley -- no-one imagines most women are breastless, but in looking at her there's always a comparison being made with other, more normal, women; her chest is very attractive, but not typical. The mayor's crazy.

Paris -- because she knows that those who are different from the norm attract attention.

Praying for meltdown: The media and the nukes

Equitas
Paris Hilton

I'm intrigued ......

as to what this "Burgher Flipping" degree referred to by "despairing citizen" may be. Of course, if "despairing citizen" had a degree in English -- or even reasonable primary-school English -- he or she would recognise a burger on sight. As it is, clearly "despairing citizen" is going to be a "fail" even by the standards of McDonalds' Hamburger Academy!

Paris -- because presumably even she can spell "burger."

Equitas
FAIL

People in Edinburgh ........

are in an area which, volcanic plugs excepted, is generally sandstone.

Try Aberdeen which is mainly granite.

Vocus buys Perth data centre

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Upside-down Geography

I'm all for the Oz content, but bearing in mind that Perth, Scotland is historically of major importance in the financial and insurance world, it might be helpful if when referring to Perth, WA, it were made clear in the title.

Reminds me of the couple on a transatlantic flight I was on (honestly) who'd got a bargain holiday to Sydney and thought they were on their way to Sydney, NSW, whereas they were actually on their way to Sydney, NS. The slight difference being that one is in Oz, the other is a former mining and steel-making city in the Canadian Maritimes. No wonder the holiday was cheap!

Paris, because even Paris would know better.

Apple 'gay-cure' app severely slapped

Equitas

So there we have it .............

iPhone -- the gay person's mobile of choice, according to Truth Wins Out.

London's Olympic clock claps out

Equitas
FAIL

100m sprint ............

Timed to the nearest day (or thereabouts) by Omega.

Equitas
FAIL

Clock has presumably been manufactured

to the standards of, and is an advert for, "high class" Omega watches which I'm sure many will now be encouraged to purchase.

Bloke with hammer fixes London's Olympic clock

Equitas
Thumb Down

Omega service .................

must be provided by the manufacturer. Hope they did that one under warranty!

Message from South Oz: YouTube not for assaults

Equitas
Headmaster

South Australia ...........

has precious little to do with Sydney -- totally different states.

Cure for BALDNESS causes IMPOTENCE, says new study

Equitas
Paris Hilton

Women seem to be programmed

.... to respond positively to bald men -- or so the empirical evidence seems to indicate. As hair has receded, attractiveness to women seems to have increased exponentially. They presumably like a "hard" man.

Paris, because she presumably knows all about it

Government flies kite for VAT changes

Equitas
FAIL

Idiots

So we get landed with totally-unreasonable customs clearance fees. Even more unreasonable when they've got to be paid to the utterly-incompetent Parcelfarce who cheerfully take the money but don't release the goods. And then you have to chase them up on telephone lines which are charged at a higher rate than normal landline calls.

DHL nowadays seem to deal with me as an account customer so at least I get the goods delivered, followed some time later by an invoice for the duty/VAT and clearance fees.

Meanwhile Hong Kong does a rather nice line in goods which are imported, through the mail, with a customs declaration sticker which denotes what may well be their real value but rather less than the price actually paid ..............

In any case, if this nonsense centres on CDs, then the lesson of what happened with vinyl ought to be a salutary lesson. At best, for me a CD is merely a temporary method of holding music until it is transferred to a server. Make it too difficult or expensive to get my music on CD and like many or most other people, I'll get it some other way.

ECJ gender ruling 'could throw insurance into turmoil'

Equitas
FAIL

Have they really thought this through?

Anonymous Coward wrote

"If you're a male you pay X for your car insurance, if you're a female you pay Y, if you're a black you pay X if you're a white you pay Y and so on and so forth. I'm sure insurance companies have a wealth of data they could dive into and generate supporting statistics from."

Of course they do. And what this equality doesn't appear to address is the simple device that will no doubt be used by insurers "Decline to accept" the risk.

Should make for some interesting situations as it becomes illegal for an insurance company to know the gender of the insured.

What's likely to happen is that motor insurance will not simply become more expensive for all younger people, it will simply become almost impossible to obtain at all.

NO-SH*T CURE FOR BALDNESS discovered by accident

Equitas

In my experience.......

Females young and old have come flocking in increasing numbers as the hair has disappeared.

Page: