FFS
Norfolk, Suffolk and Hampshire - glad to see that the gov are spreading their funding throughout the UK as normal.
Posts by eezatehgeeza
45 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Jun 2009
UK government hands CityFibre £318M for rural broadband builds
UK Home Office dangles £20m for national gun licence database system
BOFH: The Geek's Countergambit – outwitted at an electronics store
Apple bags top Windows feature: Blue Screen Of Death arrives on iPhone 5S
WHY didn't Microsoft buy RIM? Us business blokes would have queued for THAT phone
Zynga banks fluke profit - won't happen again, says CEO
Web minister Maria Miller: UK WILL hit 2015 broadband target
Falling slinky displays slow-motion causality
Survey: Win8 only HALF as popular as Win7 among IT bosses
Monday 26th November 2012 14:24 GMT
Re: Mr Custard...
I think you might find Monkeys' are more intelligent than you imply they are.
It is the relevance to what you do in a business that SHOULD account for 100% of your business choices. We have:
A media department that love it, but would rather stick with their Mac/iPad/iPhones...
A customer facing service-desk that see it as pointless trash on a screen that needs to hold loads of easy to read/interpret and update information about the customer and their {insert your product/service here} - using one of those terribly outdated, un-hip, ugly HID's* - THE KEYBOARD - as typing detail on a screen about {insert your business process here} can often bleed two felling missed drakes - leading to awkward moments later on in our relationship with them. Not to mention it being a lot slower!
I could go on, but I am boring even myself...
And finally, an IT department that ask our customer what THEY want!!!
*Really, you are on El Reg and you need this expanding?
Apple eyes $$$ iDevice adapter bonanza
Google offers I/O tickets to atone for Code Jam snafu
Hackers penetrate smut site, claim to have slurped users' privates
Apple strangleholds worldwide battery output
Thursday 23rd June 2011 23:20 GMT
Huh?
You don't understand the need to be ultra-cool^H^H^H^Hthin? (Oh how cheesy is the old ^H?)
Spending to shrink; compromising to concentrate; coughing up to compromise....
Oh - erm; colour me embarrassed, but I agree with you... Wholeheartedly... "They" are a toy. BUT, too many peeps lurve expensive toys - sadly!
Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village
Elite coder readies £15 programming gadget for schools
Welsh baby-kisser's tweet sets him back £53k
How to make power conversion less sucky
Official: music is a brain stimulating drug
Who will rid me of these obsolete PCs?
Tuesday 4th January 2011 15:59 GMT
I remember...
Back in the day upgrading from an old IBM S36 - bigger than a chest freezer the thing was - the company (who I shall refrain from naming...) disposed of the huge chunk of metal for us - minus the 35kg each HDDs for reconditioning. When asked what was to be done with it, I was told they leave this kind of stuff outside the back door overnight and it would disappear!
Job done.
In-flight fight for stubborn iPhone-loving teen
Oracle claims trademark on Hudson open source
MS freebie anti-virus scanner auto-downloads provoke more anger
PARIS in 89,000 ft climax
Hot babes discriminated against by some employers
Monday 9th August 2010 13:09 GMT 
Ermmm...
"...prison guard (presumably in a men's prison)"
Is that some Victorian values peeping out from your "pen"? Lesbianism does not exist? Women are not allowed the opportunity to find women attractive?
We are not amused.
From "literature" I have experienced during my life, it apparently does exist - thank-Sappho!
Southpaws up in arms over iPhone 4
Japanese police cuff Hentai smut scam suspects
Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown
Wobbly drive array problems? This'll stiffen your rack
Wednesday 19th May 2010 10:17 GMT
It makes the data...
100% (stop) then 100% (reverse - ie Write) then 50% slow read!
Isn't it knobvious!
Why do people insist on using % like this? Like saying if you take the Pill perfectly you have a 0.1% chance of becoming pregnant. In normal, imperfect use it is 5%. A 5000% increase? NO! a 4.9% increase.
Argh.
(I reserve the right to be totally wrong!)
Bear and Monkey smack Apple with patent suit
Apple shrugs to iPad Wi-Fi problems
Child abuse frame-up backfires on stalker
Million pound Usenet indexer found guilty
Pandora plus Endor: Multi hab-moon motherworld discovered
Monday 22nd March 2010 16:33 GMT
Used ""my"" head...
Google, Reg and "other" research materials plus Excel yielded the "facturd" that any ship would have to travel at approx. 565,718,840 Brontosauruses/second to make it there in the same time it took the "ISV Venture Star" to make it to Pandora!!!!
Yes - work finishes in 5...4...
Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates
WALL-E spaceliner smart hoverchairs debut in Japan
Government outlines five year IT strategy
Tuesday 1st December 2009 10:21 GMT 
WTF!
"...pointed to web 2.0, cloud computing and service oriented architecture as areas for exploitation..."
Give me a frikkin break - they can't even get a #*&#ing database / website / IT policy right, never mind Web 2.schmo / (head in the) Cloud computing. They simply don't know their SaaS from their fekking elbows!
Why Microsoft's IE 9 will frustrate standards fans
Number of local council snoopers clipped
Wednesday 4th November 2009 13:45 GMT 
@Steve X
"Let me guess, we'll see a sudden flowering of new roles such as Director of Public Waste Collection, Director of Educational Entitlement, etc?"
Director of Public Waste Collection = Director of Public Works
They already exist... Do they actually say how many directors there already are?
Female fruitbat fellatio frenzy: 70% give head
'Stop NASA bombing the Moon!'
An American Werewolf returns to London
Tuesday 30th June 2009 11:57 GMT 
Something to comfort all..
A little aside:
My good friend told me about the Dune remake travesty and before I collapsed sobbing he sent me a little mantra I wish to share with you all that saved me going emo on my life:
I must not watch remakes
remakes are the mind killer
remakes are the little-death that brings total obliteration
I will face these imposters
I will permit them to run in cinemas and for me to ignore them
and when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see it's path
where the duplicate has gone there will be nothing
only the original will remain
Thank-you with all of my heart Gumph.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
