Posts by The Metal Cod

Men! If you want to win at board games this Christmas, turn off the rock music – scientists

They chose the wrong song. Triple H's theme by Motorhead is far better, it proclaims "Time to play The Game!"

Cameras roll on 'blockbuster' new Who series

Re: X in SPAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!

We've already had Egyptians in space with the Pyramids of Mars.

I'd love to see Cybermen dancing down the Fulham Palace Road doing YMCA.

Indonesian train roof fare-dodgers given the brush off

Putrid gloop?

The author has clearly not travelled on Southeastern trains (often delayed or cancelled from CHX, never a working toilet, often a leaking one), a CrossCountry Voyager (crap design leads to the whole train reeking of excrement) or an Arriva Trains Wales Class 150 (if the waste tanks don't get you the ambient chemical odour will).

Malls suspend plan to track shoppers' cellphones

Phorm For Supermarkets?

The Daily Mail ran a story yesterday about this tech being used in the UK. There are a couple of posts from 2008 about Footpath on Spyblog which asks some questions but nothing further. It looks reminiscent of Phorm and smells reminiscent of Phorm...

I wouldn't expect the ICO to be any help at all on this.

Chell clips Cant to top Play School presenter slot

Brian Cant Exterminated!

Brian Cant was also in the Doctor Who story The Daleks Master Plan, his character - Kurt Gantry - was exterminated in the first episode.

BOFH: Drunken Time Lord

All irregularities will be handled by the forces controlling each dimension

*raises his glass for mention of Sapphire And Steel*

Tragedy nurse's boyf fined over medical records abuse

Always pursue prosecutions? Really?

"The ICO will always pursue prosecutions where individuals breach both their duty of confidentiality and the Data Protection Act" - but where companies are concerned, the ICO hasn't got the balls to do anything.

First fondleslab found in 1970s kids TV sci-fi gem

*holds hand up*

Yup, you got me fair and square there on my Skydiver error :) It's been too long since I got my UFO DVDs out. The ITV4 showings were almost as bad as the BBC's editing treatment of Space:1999. Thankfully I have the DVDs of both series.

Great excuse to get the UFO set out tonight *smile*

But...

There were female crew members aboard Sky 1 as well. Search for Georgina Moon. Gabrielle Drake in a Moonbase mini skirt is a very pleasant thought to folk over a certain age. I know at least one man who turns into a gibbering wreck at the mention of Gay Ellis.

Two councils hit with big fines for laptop blunder

It all comes down to balls

The councils ballsed up but we end up paying the fine. Why doesn't the ICO name and shame those responsible for the balls up and hit them with a fine?

Because it doesn't have any balls. Sure it can fine a council or two and the odd hospital but when it comes to businesses, the ICO's balls suddenly go missing.

As I've said before, the ICO is unfit for purpose. Lacking guts and balls, it is an irrelevance that should be terminated and a new, appropriately staffed and powered body put in its place.

As AC above says: "5 years is more than enough time for policies, procedures, training and compliance processes to be put in place within public bodies to secure data on mobile systems."

It isn't rocket science.

ICO Deputy exposes Data Protection law wish list

I Wish For

An ICO which has the balls and spine to take action when it is right to do so. Until it starts doing that anything that comes from it's mouth is like the ICO itself - utterly useless.

Ofcom to review Digital Economy Act site-blocking measures

And he seriously expects

A sensible coherent and impartial review from OFCOM? Not a snowball's.

There is already plenty of advice out there which explains why the DEAct is a crock of garbage. This exercise is a) designed so that the government can say "but our watchdog says it's ok" and b) a complete waste of time, effot and money.

Just repeal the act.

Yank fires up iPhone-controlled beer cannon

\m/ With AC/DC soundtrack \m/

Indeed it was. And the first thing to cross my mind when I saw the headline. Second was the AC/DC soundtrack to the film.

Liverpool forward faces possible grilling over 'joke' Twitter pic

FA should deal with the issue

It is for the FA to get its head out of its backside and tell players "Don't use social networks to mock officials". It's not rocket science. The pic deals with what a lot of people perceive - that Howard Webb isn't necessarily the best referee on the planet, especially where a certain team from Manchester are concerned. I'm no follower of the game yet I've heard plenty of people voice that opinion.

It is for the FA to manage this sensibly and for the FA and Webb himself to work to change those perceptions.

Prosecutors kick Phorm case upstairs

CPS Haven't Got A Clue

The Metropolitan Police have showed they haven't got a clue in relation to RIPA law and this case. Whilst I would love to see Ertugrul, Livingston, Vahidi, Scleparis and other BT & Phorm execs dragged into court and given the grilling they so richly deserve, I can't help but feel the CPS is trying to hang this on until they've found some weakass excuse they can pin a "no" decision on.

It is in the public interest to prosecute the people responsible for mass breaches of RIPA, it would just be very embarrassing for the guilty parties when the whole truth comes out. That's the reason why a prosecution isn't something the former government and certain civil servants want to see.

Have the CPS got the balls to prosecute? I say not.

Activists say consultation on RIPA was 'secretive and short'

Cock up or conspiracy?

One fact worth mentioning is that the initial e-mail address given for responding to this consultation was "undeliverable" for at least a day. How incompetent is that? It's not rocket science to set up an e-mail box or a forwarding rule.

Requests to my MP Bob Neill for an explanation for the shortness of consultation period were studiously ignored.

Incompetent? Quite probably. Not interested in what people who know what they're talking about have to say? Certainly.

China-inspired charity aims to sex-down society

Message to these Godbotherers

Your hell, you burn in it.

I've been using online communities, BBSes and the internet for 16 years now. Not once have I encountered bestiality, not once have I encountered child abuse. Utter utter Godswallop of the worst kind.

As for "children frequently and accidentally exposed to wholly inappropriate material, such as bestiality and child abuse", if they're suggesting my partner or I allow our lad to be exposed to anything *we* consider inappropriate then they're welcome to come round and meet me and my cricket bat.

As parents it is *our* decision what is right and proper for our lad to see, not theirs. Perhaps they should start to exercise the same judgements on their offspring.

As Bill Hicks said "I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply."

Hasbro unleashes 'Spastic' Transformer

It's true

That "spastic", "spazz" and variants thereof aren't seen as being as offensive in the US as here. Witness the outcry here over the Colours In Motion wheelchair model called the Spazz. In the US there's no big deal over it. The Spazz-G is the next version up but has the unfortunate blurb "Have you been dreaming of that unique custom wheelchair that would not cost you an arm and a leg?"

That said, this would surely raise a laugh from some of my less politically correct friends and be a good choice of Christmas gift for them.

First data fines on the way, says ICO

I'll Believe It

When I see it. Are you going to bite, little doggie?

ICO U-turns on Street View

Don't forget Ball-less

ICO growls, eh? My guts growl louder than the ICO. My cat is still after Christopher Graham's job and will remain so until he shows some balls and takes proper action like fining corporations.

Remember Neville Chamberlain and "I have in my hand a piece of paper"? A piece of paper means nothing and Mr Graham knows it.

Come on Chris, surely you can show us that you've got a pair?

Info Commissioner admits 'It's going to be tough'

Unimpressive

Mr Graham is supposed to be a watchdog. Watchdogs make clear threats and aren't afraid to use their teeth if the threat goes ignored. I'm sure he means well but until we see companies (Phorm, BT, TalkTalk, ACS:Law etc) and councils brought to account with a severe kicking the ICO will remain, in the eyes of many, no more threatening than my fat, castrated cat.

Come on Chris, show us you've got 'em or my cat will be after your job.

Wales loses 'dot-cum' domain to tax haven

Or

.taff

UK.gov plans net censor service

Talking of infringing privacy

Mr Vaizey should STFU until those involved with the mass infringement of privacy and breaching of RIPA by BT and Phorm get dragged into court and then sent to the slammer. Then he just might be able to discuss this with the backdrop of doing something right.

At the moment this smacks of a step towards silencing critics of the government, just the kind of thing the last "government" was so keen on. First comes a version of IMP and now this. Governing for the people my ar5e.

Spending Review? Why not axe the Information Commissioner?

Merge? Disembowel more like

I've said here and elsewhere the ICO is totally unfit for purpose and needs to be completely gutted and replaced with competent, knowledgeable staff who do what a watchdog should - use their teeth and punish those who drive a cart and horses through data proaction legislation. The ICO have already admitted they have no Information Security experienced or qualified staff on their books.

The ICO's spinelessness over the Phorm & BT issue is all the evidence you need for putting them all in a giant Wicker Man and setting fire to it while dancing around it singing songs. The ICO lacks guts, teeth, balls and relevance.

My fat, castrated cat has told me he wants to be the new Information Commissioner. He is a lot cheaper than Mr Graham, cuter and he has real experience of having no balls at all. If you're going to have a eunuch organisation then you should have a real eunuch at the top level.

CEOP chief accuses UK.gov of putting kids at risk

Typical...

New Labour call people racists/fascists/terrorists if you disagreed with their One True Way, Gamble calls people paedos if they disagree with his One True Way.

Goodbye Gamble, hope I never see or hear of you again. Go on garden leave and keep quiet will you? For good.

Piracy threats lawyer mocks 4chan DDoS attack

Not that I condone such behaviour but

Well, let's be honest, Crossley's had it coming for a while. And I can't say any inconvenience or discomfort he encounters will have me sniffling. This may be the slow start of karma coming back to bite him in the balls.

Any news on the disciplinary proceedings Crossley is facing?

Children's rights group threatens ICO with judicial review

About time

Someone took the ICO to task for its gutlessness.

Quite whether any judicial review will do anything to shake up the lethargic status quo I somehow doubt though...

Gordon Brown joins World Wide Web Foundation

Well now...

Another job for which he is patently unsuited. Just fade away into obscurity you horrible man. You're not wanted, not needed and not welcome.

Dixons done for dumping customer info in skip

Compare

The FSA - fine Zurich £2.3 million - and the ICO - barely a metaphorical slap on the wrist for PCW and Wolverhampton Hospitals. On that basis which is the better watchdog?

The name gives as much away - Financial Services Authority v Information Commissioner's Office - one has actual authority, the other sounds like somewhere you go to get some pens, rulers or TippEx!

Scareware solicitors sent to regulator

Balls

Eventually - in a year or so given how slowly the SRA and the SDT seem to move - we'll find out just how serious a watchdog the SDT really is. Does it really have the balls to appropriately punish Mr Crossley? I wouldn't hold your breath though...

UK insurer hit with biggest ever data loss fine

Eunuch ICO

Credit to the FAS for holding Zurich to account and imposing a punishment. It should have been the ICO imposing such a penalty.

LucasFilm sets lawyers on Jedi nameswipers

Disappointing, this is

My fat cat is also one with the Force, he is a Dark Lard Of The Sith

Information Commissioner calls in tech experts

This is as near as you're going to get

To an admission from the ICO that they are not up to the job. I said as much in my submission to the APCOMMS committee; If the ICO isn't going to be disembowelled and rebuilt, government needs to appoint a panel of truly independent experts to advise on tech issues over which they and their watchdog have no real understanding (ie: all of them).

IIRC it was Mr White in Reservoir Dogs who said "Are you going to bite, little doggie?" - that's how businesses view the ICO - it yaps occasionally but hasn't got the balls to actually bite someone.

ASA: You can't say 'f**k'

So...

"Marketing communications should contain nothing that is likely to cause serious or widespread offence."

Where does that leave purveyors of training courses whose mendacity claims that the average salary in IT is £37k? You know, the ones the ASA did f**k all about? Mendacious claims like that are offensive to me and most of my colleagues in IT who aren't anywhere near that.

Not complaining about my salary, I'm complaining that the purveyors of this garbage get away with it because the ASA, just like the ICO, has no balls at all.

UK privacy watchdog clears Google Wi-Fi slurp

Samples

Samples. Not the full data. Ergo the ICO failed to conduct a proper investigation. Do they actually have any experienced investigators on their staff? I recall a video where they admitted to having no comp sci or info security experienced staff.

Utterly unsurprising. Predictably pathetic. Expectedly eunchs.

My neutered cat has more balls than the ICO.

NatWest sets lawyers on student site

Helpful banking my arse

NatWest Erdington branch - very unhelpful, very disrespectful. Maybe that is their corporate culture.

Barnet and West Sussex breach DPA

Watchdogs have teeth & aren't afraid to use them

Doesn't the ICO ever take hard hitting action? Nothing in this report suggests anything by way of a deterrent and a learning experience along the lines of "The ICO's punishment hurt, we'll make damn sure that doesn't happen again". A commitment to provide training is just bullshit & bluster.

Real watchdogs have teeth and aren't afraid to use them. The ICO just doesn't have the cojones to hand out punishment.

Phorm issues shares to raise cash

Phuck off and die

Somehow Phorm is hanging around like a dose of the clap that just won't go away. Will someone with cojones and legal clout please terminate Phorm's existence for one and for all? Phorm have never proven the legality of their "product" - that should speak for itself.

Facebook boss admits privacy 'errors' and promises revamp

The Proof Of The Pudding

Is in the eating. This smacks of damage control and nothing more. Zuckerberg's brand is damaged after his latest batch of bad press and he's desperate to stop the slide.

Once a privacy offender always a privacy offender in my book. Unless proven wrong. Which I rarely am.

Come on Zuck, prove me wrong.

Daleks poised to invade tour UK

Not impressed

These new Daleks look like they should come from a Renault showroom.

Cops back in on BT/Phorm case

Attempting Yet More Copping Out

Methinks this does have something to do with the change of administration. City of London Police have already shown their inability to understand RIPA and enforce the law correctly. The CPS have taken nearly 600 days so far in deciding what, if any, action to take. The Cabinet Office refused to answer questions about Phorm & BT's involvement with the former "government".

The only acceptable solution to this is to see the executives responsible for these mass breaches of RIPA (that's from BT and Phorm) up in court on charges. Those responsible for policing, governmental and advisory failure should be named, shamed and barred from working in their respective fields.

IWF: Good on child abuse...

Unanswered Questions About IWF

The questions raised about the IWF regarding its status, its methods, its transparency (none), accountability (none), due process for when it gets things wrong (none) which were highlighted by the Scorpions album cover debacle have still yet to be properly answered. Noble aims should not protect them from the consequences of fouling up nor from the requirement to answer questions completely in an open and honest way.

The IWF seems to think of itself as law enforcement. Yet it lacks the due processes and transparency that democratic law enforcement should have. If memory serves it has charitable status. This fact should be reported so everyone understands that law enforcement is (or is not depending on if you're BT or Phorm) carried out by the Police & CPS.

Kent police bring obscenity charge over online chat

Wouldn't It Be Ironic

If the News Of The World did one of their famous "investigations" and nailed Kent Police officers (preferably the Chief Constable and his cronies) in a bondage brothel sting?

Workers scared to befriend bosses on Facebook

Work & Home - kept separate

Work colleagues are simply that. I don't go out to socialise with them (never have, never will unless I get a job crewing for certain rock bands) so there's no way they're having any kind of association with my life outside of work.

Why would you have your bosses as friends on your social stuff? Really... why?

Work & home are best kept separate. Any employer that doesn't like that concept is a Gareth*

*see New Avengers cast list*

Data loss fines hit £500K from today

Gesture Politics

This is gesture politics of the worst kind. The ICO has shown itself to be incompetent and lacking the guts and balls to hold companies and the government to account. This gesture will not change the fact that my large left testicle has more balls than the whole of the ICO, which is patently unfit for purpose.

BT hijacks business browsers

Another Example

Of "highest standards of ethical conduct" as promoted by BT Group CEO Mr Livingston.

Yet more proof that this "The Way We Work" spin is just complete and utter b******s.

Man could face prison over six second 'extreme porn' clip

So Let's E-mail politicians

With clips of said Mr Hands videos and tell the local Police.

UK is safer from al-Qaeda 'bastards', says security minister

Police State UK

I have friends who lived in the Eastern Bloc countries during Communist times and every one of them says that the UK is becoming a police state.

BT boss urges fines for filesharing customers

Hypocrisy

More hypocrisy from Livingston. How can he talk of natural justice when he was directly responsible for the secret & illegal tests of Phorm's technology? If he believes in natural justice when can we see his ar5e and those of the other execs involved with the Phorm trials in court?

BT blamed for Davina McCall spamcalls

A Shining Example Of Ethics

This is more evidence that "The Way We Work" proclaimed on BT's website is nothing more than complete, unadulterated b******s. IF BT aren't brought to book over this then BT subscibers can look forward to advertising messages left on their voicemail.

Yet more obsession with "monetizing intelligence". They haven't learned from the Phorm case and clearly have no respect for the spirit of the TPS. I opt out of it precisely because I don't want to hear any advertising crap!

Yet again I refer readers to the Bill Hicks routine about sucking something belonging to Satan.

BT totally lack the ethics and standards they claim to have.