* Posts by Futumsh

33 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Jun 2009

Welkom in Nederland: Laid-back, chilled, and MONITORING everything


I don't care

So long as they have tall blond women on bicycles with liberal attitudes to sex and the consumption of mind altering substances in a consequence free environment they're sound as a pound.

BTW, my friend's dad used to wear klompen all the time, so this photo is entirely accurate.

Triple glitch grounds ALL aircraft in New Zealand


Re: Picture editor fail

Pffft, those Herdwicks are in Coombe Bissett Down Nature Reserve in the Lake District, not New Zealand. If you want to choose a more geographically accurate picture you should probably opt for Romney or Merino to be on the safe side.

Alternatively, if you have your mind set on rare breeds you could refer to this handy census of rare breed sheep in New Zealand http://www.rarebreeds.co.nz/sheepnumbers.html

Bloody townies.

'Hello? Hello? Yes, I'm calling you on my WEB BROWSER'



I guess this means we can look forward to 500+ daily version updates for Firefox instead of the usual 400.

What are we on now, v. 497.984365465165434654354.654634535435435435.5816878354351.867987648354?

Huawei to gift underground coverage to London


RE: I truly don't believe

Huawei is run by Ren Zhengfei, former PLA officer and Communist party member and has been investigated ans subsequently found to be a security risk by the US, UK and India. I'd say that the odds are that Huawei are dodgy.

iPhone 5 rumors: bigger, smaller, cloudy, keyboard-equipped

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at £1per MB for European roaming I wonder how many people will enjoy racking up a £squillion phone bill when they take their cloud enabled mini device away on holiday with them

Gov gone wild: Mad new pub glasses, bread freedom introduced


What the article doesn't say is...

.... typically in Australia and New Zealand, the schooner is served empty, accompanied by a 1 litre jug full of beer...

Apple touts top iTunes tunes of 2010

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@ yumdogfood

Brilliant! - love it.

Steve Jobs no longer Eggman as Beatles hits iTunes


In related news...

bear shits in woods.

The Jobs hype machine is well and truly in overdrive.

Apple readies iTunes for Beatles juice, says report


Maybe because

EMI have realised that nobody gives a shit about the Beatles any more.

Airport screeners go for the groin


Well I for one...

Will be changing my name to Pat McGroin.

Shut up, Spock! How Battlestar Galactica beat Trek babble

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The new BSG

Was utter utter utter shit. Dynasty in space.

Bring back metallic cylons and their red cycloptic scanning eye.

oooh yeah.

Stripped-down IE9 interface leaks in Russia


I don't care about the interface....

...what I really want is a browser that will open tabs quickly, will allow you to still use it while another tab is opening and that is capable of handling page refreshing on Twitter. Oh, hang on, that would be Firefox or Chrome.

IE 8 is crap and I don't expect 9 to be any better.

Researchers: Arctic cooled to pre-industrial levels from 1950-1990


@I'd like to congratulate

'climategate' (scientists cleared by 3 inquiries, now some looney wants an inquiry into the inquiries!)

Erm, No.

Why do you think there were three inquiries. The first two were loaded with individuals who had a vested interest in the AGW theory, such as Lord Oxburgh, chairman of Globe International, which lobbies governments to take action on climate change.

The last (The Muir Russell Review) was an attempt to look more neutral, but failed miserably when Philip Campbell (Editor in Chief of Nature Magazine) was forced to resign before the inquiry even started due to statements that he made saying that the CRU scientists had done nothing wrong.

The scope of the Muir Russell Review was also primarily concerned with the emails, and not the manipulation/hiding of data.

'Go veggie to save the planet' UN, EU plans debunked


@ Nerdo: Utter Bollocks

A few reasons why meat eating is no more harmful to the environment

Myth 1: 10kg of grain = 1kg of beef.

On the face of it this appears correct as you can produce more calories from vegetables than from meat on arable land. The key here is the words 'arable land' - there is significant land area which is not suitable for crops but which is suitable for grazing livestock

Myth 2: Methane production from livestock is contributing to greenhouse gasses

While livestock do produce methane it pays to bear in mind that the carbon from which this methane is formed comes from grass and other feeds, not fossil fuels. As such is part of the natural carbon cycle. Secondly, techniques such as mob grazing result in MORE carbon being fixed by grasses in their root systems than is emitted in methane. Centuries ago, tens of millions of bovines roamed the grasslands of North America and Africa - our climate didn't collapse then.

Myth 3: Switching to a vegetarian diet will save the planet

If more people switched to vegetarianism then we would be able to support a larger population. Ironically this is the biggest problem of all. Overwhelmingly it is PEOPLE that damage the environment. The surest way of managing environmental damage is to reduce the world's human population. By increasing food supplies you are only increasing the global population.

Apple bins iPhone covers

Jobs Halo

They're so tough...

I work on an oil drilling platform, last week we damaged our diamond tipped drill head and needed to replace it. "No worries" I said, just use my iphone. Sure enough, we sellotaped that sucker screen side down and drilled for all buggery. Unfortunately it worked a little too well and before we knew it we had penetrated the earth's crust and a huge gusher of liquid hot magma came shooting out of the rig - how we laughed!

The best bit of course it the even though my iphone was submerged in several hundred feet of seawater, ground through 10 km of rock and immersed in the earth's core, it still works fine!

God I love Steve Jobs!

Adobe to Jobs: 'What the Flash do you know?'


IT Nerds

Once again I need to remind the majority of posters here that 99% of people browsing the web DO NOT GIVE A FUCK about CPU cycles, buggy code, etc etc etc. All they give a shit about is that they have a browser that allows them to visit YouTube, watch porn, play mindless fucking games like dinner dash and visit the latest crappy reality tv show website and be dazzled by cool animations or whatever.

They rightfully expect that they can do all of this on any web enabled device and on any browser. If it doesn't allow you to do this, then it aint allowing you to browse the internet (yes Kristian B I said "internet" because that's what the majority of the word calls it you pedantic little prick).

If the i-Pad doesn't let you do this, they aren't going to say "oh, that must be because of the issue with CPU cycles" they're going to say "what the fuck???" - unless they are small dicked little fanbois quoting from the gospel of Jobs.

Put simply as of right now, the iPad does not allow you to enjoy all of the web and the almighty saviour of HTML 5 isn't there either. And for that, I (being one of those 99% or webtards) wont be buying one.

Aussie censor balks at bijou boobs


When did...

Australia suddenly become a nation of puritanical, prudish retards?

Jesus, you'd think that being a nation of crims would have yielded a different result.

Discrimination warning over airport body scanners

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Nexus of evil

Now, all we need is for the scanners to be operated by pedophile, terrorist sympathising, climate change-denying Israeli bankers and we will create a nexus of evil that allows demons from the fifth circle to enter our reality via a temporal vortex created by the evil body scanners.

They have been using these scanners in Moscow for years. They are typically operated by rather attractive security ladies with rather tight fitting uniforms. It's a highlight.

French culture minister flames Google over book scan plan


Not invented here

The French are just sore that they didn't invent Le Google. It's like the contaminated blood scandal of the 80's all over again - they'll go an invent their own book scanning tool and then...er...only the French will use it.

Firefox nabs 30 million users in eight weeks

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Could it be...

Because IE 8 is such an unmitigated pile of shit? Infuriating things such as the inability to do anything while another tab is opened and the tendency to tell you that you have no connectivity when you patently do.

On the other hand, I'm also getting a bit tired of having to install a Firefox update every time I friggin open it.

UK cops to be kitted out with smartphones


Out on the street doesn't mean they're working

I used to work for a company that was trying to roll out a mobile data solution for the police. I used to believe our own publicity that it was going to help the police be a whole load more effective. Then, one day I was standing in the City of London and watched how it took 15 police officers to arrest one guy for a misdemeanor and then stand around for 25 minutes chin wagging.

They may not be in the station but it doesn't mean they're working.

Airport rethinks strip-scanner for kids

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Top Trumps

So we now know who wins in a game of social anxiety Top Trumps - my paedo hysteria trumps your terrorism hype!

Seriously, if they're not scanning everyone then there's no point. Here's the evidence: http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2095911

They've been using this technology in Moscow for the last 4 years or so - personally I found the body scan performed by the attractive Russian security officer in the tight starched uniform quite exhilarating...

France passes three-strikes bill


@ Mectron

The MPAA and RIAA have entered a new phase by getting recording artists to strike up Matahari type relationships with world leaders. Bruni is a RIAA agent. You mark my words, Lily Allen will be giving David Cameron blowjobs in anticipation of him becoming PM.

Ofcom website takes second day off


Personally I would like to thank Colt

for taking this innovative step to get Ofcom to STFU for once.

Apple yanks C64 emulator from App Store



That I downloaded the emulator in time. The only problem now is that I have paid for an emulator with only three crappy games circa 1982. Do you think that Apple will give me my money back - thought not.

Huawei pours cold water on Oz spy probe reports



is shit kit.

that is all

Apple blogger legally unlocks iPhone


@ Michael Brown

My iphone 3GS has been jailbroken for the last month and has been running perfectly - it's been totally worth the 30 minutes of 'hassle'

NZ council to scrub Muff Road


NZ News

Has the Reg exported a staff member to NZ? There's been a recent rash of Kiwi related articles.

Metallica sticksman gloats over Napster downfall


Back Catalogue

You Can't blame Lars for being concerned about the Metallica back catalogue being shared on P2P - it's the only stuff that people actually want. When Napster came along I imagine the Lars logic went something like this:

"Wow, suddenly we've sold f**k all of our last two albums... it must be because of Napster"

The funny thing is that after the Napster incident, Metallica ran off in to their cave and decided to have nothing to do with "MP3". It's only very recently that their albums have been available on iTunes - boy did they miss that wave.

In the end, how much did shutting down Napster really achieve? It just alienated them from their fans and P2P hasn't gone away.

Lars is a cock

It shouldn't happen to a vetting database


how do we know

that vetting actually works? So you are vetted - it's not exactly failsafe is it.

What a massive waste of everyone's time

Apple's iPhoneware update snuffs tethering hack


So why would we want to upgrade to 3.1?

So apple release a brand new phone with a brand new version of their OS and then they release an OS update one month later that knobbles features of the previous update.

I think I'll pass on the upgrade and continue using tethering - for free thankyouverymuch.

iPhone makes eyes at T-Mobile and Orange



I have an i-phone and yes, O2 coverage is shit. I live in central London right next to the big open space that is the Thames (ironically not far from the Offcom offices) and I struggle to get 2G coverage in my apartment, never mind 3G.

I predicted that O2 would lose exclusivity several weeks ago when it was announced that the Palm Pre was most likely to be exclusive to O2. There's no way that Apple would allow their 'chosen one' to flirt with their biggest competitor unless there were already plans afoot to open up distribution to other carriers. I suspect that the O2 exclusive distribution contract expires soon and O2 are looking to get their hands on the next big thing.

Great Australian Firewall to censor online games

Big Brother

The thin end of the wedge...

...just got a little thicker