* Posts by Neil 13

27 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

HMRC 'disciplined' almost 100 employees for computer misuse over 24 months

Neil 13

Re: What's the issue?

Actually you can. You can pay your dues to any tax office you like by simply relocating to another country. That's why, technically, HMRC are correct to describe their tax payers as customers (loathsome term).

UK tax collectors' IT boss Mark Dearnley steps down

Neil 13

Re: Where to now??

Nope. Adobe.

SHARKS tempted by BIKINI CLAD Thanksgiving BABES

Neil 13

Don't worry. They couldn't hit an elephant from her...................

Hadron Collider 'could act as telephone for talking to the past'

Neil 13

You don't need a multi billion pound machine to send messages to the future

Simply write it down on a piece of paper and store it in a safe place.

Apple tops $6bn in quarterly income

Neil 13

Ignorant Consumers

@ Wraith404:

You're right, Apple does enjoy a huge amount of success due to ignorant consumers. These are people who know very little about what makes high end tech tick and don't want to know. They need gear that is simple to use, understand and 'just works'.

That's why they buy Apple and shun anything that appeals to the command line interface mob.

Leslie Nielsen dead at 84

Neil 13

A sad loss but .......

.... great looking beaver!

Apple eyes kill switch for jailbroken iPhones

Neil 13

Jesus H Christ....

Just listen to all of you whinging pussies. First off, companies file patents for things that'll never see the light of day all of the time and since you have no guarantee that Apple will ever produce a kill switch, what the hell are you getting your panties in a bunch about?

Secondly, Jobs has said that one of the main reasons Apple wants to keep control over it's phone system is to stop unauthorized software threatening the mobile network. If Apple really were the control freaks that you say they are, then why is it that they don't even ask for registration and get you to jump through all sorts of hoops when you install their operating system on their computers? You know, like Microsoft does when you chuck it's OS on your PCs.

And you Android users make me laugh. You do know that Google own up to having a kill switch when you look at their terms and conditions don't you? And you do remember that they've already used it on two occasions to remotely wipe apps off users phones (with no guarantee of a refund) don't you - something which Apple has never done.

Oh, and you do remember that your 'garden without walls' has already seen one app uploading personal info to it's author in the background whilst you were using your phone? Of course, these sort of unscrupulous malware authors would never behave worse than Apple with people's data would they?

Grow up you silly sods and if you don't like Job's toy then don't buy one.

First SMS Trojan for Android is in the wild

Neil 13

iPhone owner

You're not singing anymore........

You're not siiiiiinging anymore!

Autopsy on wacky Jacqui's ID astroturfing

Neil 13

"A lesbian on-line magazine."?

Dammit — never! I've always thought of the Reg as a small, humpback dwarf with a club foot, tech scandal sheet.

Killer piranha stalk Folkestone pond

Neil 13

I say....

...we take off and nuke the whole site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Apple store flakes after iPhone 4 price reveal

Neil 13

El Jobso

Honestly, what is it with people's obsession about taking down Jobs and acting like Apple killed your dog? He's a tyrant, sure, but he's also revolutionized two and soon to be three industries. And the market has reflected that. He's got what people want, and they want to buy it. You feel differently. Apple isn't insulting you. (Google isn't liberating you, either — just try using non-Google products on your Incredible.)  But this is how the market works. People have a choice—you made yours, great. Now shut up about it.

New cycle helmets emit stench if they need replacement

Neil 13

It'll work.

Because nobody wants to walk around with a stinky helmet.

'Being fat is no worse for you than being a woman'

Neil 13

Women deserve respect

Anything that can bleed for five days every month and not die has to be tough.

Ten free apps to install on every new Mac

Neil 13


El Reg is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.


Puts the application switcher drop down menu back on the right hand side of the Finder's menu bar (along with a few other goodies). Invaluable if, like me, you're old school.

Apple guzzles wobbly concierge service

Neil 13

I've already got one of these...

... it's called 'The wife'.

Terror in the Outback: Attack of the Giant Space Balloon

Neil 13

I've seen these things before..

... in 'The Prisoner'. They can be very aggressive and nasty.

Jesus descends to Google Earth

Neil 13

Not Jesus

...just a long haired Adolf Hitler.

Fear 2012? Bunker hustler has you covered

Neil 13

Lots of gear but....

"water, fuel, clothing, bedding, toiletries, educational and entertainment materials, exercise equipment, medicine, medical equipment, security devices, survival gear, tools, spare parts, radios, computers, televisions, safes, refrigerated vaults, off-road vehicles, seeds, farming tools, hunting, fishing equipment"

No tin opener. Why do they always make that mistake?

BlackBerry sees iPhone shrink in rear view mirror

Neil 13

Something else to consider though

Weren't RIM at one time offering a buy one, get one free scheme with their Blackberries in the USA? That could make a difference to market share but it doesn't mean their products are streaking away from the iPhone in terms of popularity. After all, anyone can give their products away (except Palm apparently).

LHC boffins crank beams to 3.5 TeV redline

Neil 13

In the event of an accident..

...I'd say the safest thing to do would be to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

Mine's the one with the floppy hat and extra long scarf.

Remote tribe discovered worshipping iPad

Neil 13

Can't see the point of an article like this

Seems to just illustrate how jealous of Apple the Register is. Obviously you're still smarting from them blanking you.

Thing is, if you're going to have a pop by running this type of copy, then it has to be biting and funny to have effect. This isn't. It's just boring.

Sorry guys but it's time to try a new tack.

Apple iPad vs netbooks: fight not over yet

Neil 13

It's the software, stupid.

None of you iPad knockers are taking into account the one thing the iPad has that netbooks never will: the iPhone OS.

People aren't just buying iPhones because of the device and it's capabilities. They're buying it because of the software user experience. Many phones can do what the iPhone does (and some even better) but the reason it's carving out such a huge market share and scaring the bejesus out of RIM, Nokia, Palm etc. is because people get wrapped up in the user experience.

That's what'll happen with the iPad. That's why it'll sell millions and smash up the net book market. It's got heavily patented software that can only be mimicked to a certain degree. Apple crashed the mp3 market and took it over with ease of use software (although it's cool looking players haven't hurt), it did the same with the iPhone and there's no reason why it can't with the iPad.

And didn't I hear that the net book market was in decline even before the debut of the Jesus pad?

2010 will be the year of the net tablet, claims analyst

Neil 13


I remember a few years ago seeing a voice recognition system without the voice. Basically, a couple of sensors next to the throat monitored muscle movement and translated it into text input. That meant you only had to mouth the words in order to use the speech recognition system. Imagine If that could be turned into a small blue tooth device that sat in your ear but had a flip down piece that touched your throat.

The perfect answer for those who want to use speech recognition but also want things to stay private. And you wouldn't drive those around you insane with your constant chatter.

Bono accuses ISPs of 'reverse Robin Hooding' over piracy

Neil 13

Two faced

Are we really supposed to believe that the young, musically intense Paul Hewson didn't have bootlegged recordings of bands in his collection? I mean, come on.......

LHC knocked out by ANOTHER power failure

Neil 13

All those components and all that complexity.

And yet it's still more reliable than my Sky+ box.

Magno stimulation makes brain learn skills better - boffins

Neil 13

We should train them all in brain surgery

... so they can deal with the extra tumour cases that'll arise from people running magnetic fields through their heads.

CGI Thunderbirds sadly not go

Neil 13

Grade's got form on this

In charge of the BBC, he tried to kill Doctor Who completely when anyone with half a brain knew that chucking a few quid at it and bringing in a decent writer along with a touch of 'Star Trek the Next Generation' production was all it needed to to successfully refresh. The fanbase alone would have been enough to recoup the investment if it wasn't able to reach a wider audience - which of course it did becoming one of the BBC's best revenue generators in recent years.

Gerry, if you're reading this, tell Grade to piss off, give the BBC a ring and tell them you want to do an updated reboot of UFO. Again, done properly, you're looking at another smash hit.