* Posts by D 13

52 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009


'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

D 13

Re: Surprised Gaelic speaking people haven't pointed this out

Some good points there. I'm looking for someone to tarmac my drive, any chance you can give me a quote?

350,000 Twitter bot sleeper cell betrayed by love of Star Wars and Windows Phone

D 13

Re: Twitter bots

My Bot tweets an hourly reminder of where and when in the world it will be 4:20pm next. I've got well over 1,000 followers who are all real people, although they probably wouldn't qualify as "active".

£1m military drone crashed in Wales after crew disabled anti-crash systems – report

D 13

Re: Laser Altimeter

"Not really rocket science"

No but it's in the same building with adjacent offices.

Linux malware? That'll never happen. Ok, just this once then

D 13

Re: How good of an admin are you?

"everyone jumps into the ridiculous argument of UNIX vs Windows."

I feel like we're really close to a final answer on that debate that we can all agree upon. I think if I stay up all night typing posts about all linux users being involuntary virgins that will help move things along to a final conclusive answer by tomorrow.

Brit network O2 hands out free Windows virus with USB pens

D 13

Re: We need a double facepalm icon.

Can I have a free doughnut?

'Impossible' EmDrive flying saucer thruster may herald new theory of inertia

D 13

Re: I think _I_ can explain it (and it's not that hard)

"Almost as well known as that m=0 for a photon: photon momentum is not mv. So you are not really chucking any "stuff" out of the back in the conventional sense."

The momentum of a photon is described by the De Broglie relation as being Planck's constant divided by it's wavelength.

IBM's 'neurosynaptic chip' to power nuke-watching exascale rig

D 13

Re: Skynet will not arrive

A hundred times is only going to get you to a Golden Hamster, unlikely to present too much of a threat to the future of humanity.

At 10^13 you get cats, which could go either way.

100 times more and you get humans, which will probably present a challenge.

Just four times more than that and it would be smarter than an African Elephant, then we're fucked.


Disclaimer - this is just what I looked up in Wikipedia while reading the comments, not a clue if it's accurate or not.

Google human-like robot brushes off beating by puny human – this is how Skynet starts

D 13

The video isn't working on here for me. Found it on youtube.


It's both awesome and really scary. I need to have a poo after watching that.

Confused as to WTF is happening with Apple, the FBI and a killer's iPhone? Let's fix that

D 13

I'm just glad I don't have to carry around top secret information on my phone that must be kept out of the hands of the NSA at any cost.

Only a handful or people in the world really needs the level of security that Apple are saying they provide here. Either that or they really want to go after the Jihadi market.

Foetuses offered vaginal music streaming service

D 13

You should only put a little speaker into your vagina, if your name is Sally Bercow.

Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

D 13

No, but I'm sure that the police will be keeping an eye on the situation.

Windows 10: A sysadmin speaks his brains – and says MEH

D 13

I like it.

I've been using W10 on a couple of desktops and a laptop for the last few weeks. I was able to use it painlessly right from the start and all my software works exactly as it did under W7.Apart from the control panel irritation and a couple of others it's quicker, slicker and more intuitive than W7 and I would hate to go back.

I suspect that this has been the experience for the vast majority of people, hence the W10 launch has been a non-event. The only complaints I really see are about Microsoft slurping up data, in exactly the same way that Google has been doing through Android for the last five years.

The discussions that I've seen on here and other forums seem to largely consist of linux users testifying that they've seen the truth and it's name is mint. Basically the normal background noise that you see on any Windows related thread. The fact that the best they can come up with is vague threats about the NSA looking at your Dick Pics says it all.

tldr: The lack of substantial stories about the W10 launch show that it has been a success.

The most tragic thing about the Ashley Madison hack? It was really 1% actual women

D 13

The 1% figure assumes that all of the women were actually women and not men who get their jollies flirting with straight men whilst pretending to be women.

Password 'XXXXairocon' pops Wi-Fi routers from ASUS, ZTE and others

D 13

Re: Long live Telnet

@ RavingDaveD

That's a much better argument for backing things up before you make changes than for keeping telnet.

Windows 10 Start menu replacements shifting like hot cakes

D 13

Re: Windows 8 isn't a good comparison

You've got no idea what you're talking about.

Spaniard sues eBay over right to sell the Sun

D 13

Wealth equality is getting worse

Now just one person owns 99.8% of stuff in the solar system.

Pacific nation accidentally does good thing in web crackdown

D 13

I'm fairly sure that migrants from Africa don't come to the UK for it's warm weather and they'd be more than happy with the Falklands deal.

RE "Hold them there for five years or so while they learn how to behave and live like Britons"

It doesn't take five years to learn how to binge drink, eat a kebab and then beat the shit out of a passing stranger.

ESA: Venus probe doomed to fiery death on weird planet's surface

D 13

It might be time for you to upgrade that 14.4 k modem.

Inside the EYE of the TORnado: From Navy spooks to Silk Road

D 13

Re: the most common way of accessing piratebay

I don't think that's gong to last for long. Piratebay is blocked by most ISPs but it's very easy to find a proxy now. Much faster than starting up Tor.

Microsoft swats away FBI request for Office 365 subscriber data

D 13
Black Helicopters

If only there was a way I could store office documents on a disk drive physically in my possession that only I have access to, then I wouldn't have to put all my incriminating documents and photos onto cloud servers.

Qld government in social media policy linkrot FAIL

D 13

Re: My Eyes my Eyes!

If I pour bleach into my ears can I wash it out of my brain?

Brit Bitcoin dev: I lost 'over £200k' when MtGox popped its socks

D 13

Re: Disappointed with how naïve the dev is

Endlessly repeating the observation that MtGox used to be a game card exchange.....

is something that just never gets old. Nothing brings this whole story into sharp clarity faster than the realisation that these people had vast sums invested in "Magic The Gathering Online Exchange".

Pint-glass-flashing FISHNAPPERS strike at Firefox daddy Mozilla

D 13

Re: Fishnapper was right

It really should be exactly the same as a six pack.

Tiny, invisible EXTRATERRESTRIAL INVADERS appear at South Pole

D 13

Re: Who to truly believe

I think you misread the instructions in the letter you received you actually need to regularly "sign the register" not "sign into The Register"

IPCC: Yes, humans are definitely behind all this global warming we aren't having

D 13

"No matter socialism has never raised the poor, only profits those in power, and that capitalism and free markets is the only means any society has ever risen out of poverty. "

Apart from the 1.3 billion people in China who have seen their standards of living improve dramatically over the last few decades.....

It's Grand Theft Auto 5 day: Any of you kids remember GTA the First?

D 13

Re: Life imitates art

When he fell down did his wallet appear next to him glowing green?

DARPA uncloaks unTerminator for $2 million robotics challenge

D 13

I, for one,

would welcome a Kent Brockman icon for stories like this.

'Facebook, Twitter, Google: Ad companies masquerading as tech ones'

D 13
Paris Hilton

Re: The bit that depresses me in this

A quick installation of adblock plus and the thrusting stops.

Help save the endangered QUANTUM OWL, pleads Reg man

D 13

" It was John Kozak... who pointed out that if it stopped having a centre, people would stop caring and the RI would just end up being a brand on the Royal Society’s website

Couldn't they just sell the building in Mayfair and buy Newcastle as a new centre?

'We the People' seek to double NASA budget – at least

D 13

Re: Life in Mars

That's a very interesting theory, (smiles reassuringly whilst taking slow steps back toward the door), but can we go back to the topic of whether you've been taking your medication recently?

Sex offender wins case against Facebook vigilantism

D 13

Bring back football hooliganism

Back in the day the angry illiterate fucknuts would get together somewhere in the vicinity of a football stadium and kick the living shit out of each other. It was a much more agreeable system as they seemed less inclined to bother the rest of us and it helped to keep their numbers down. Apparently it was spoiling things for the real football fans, but I think that was a sacrifice worth making.

Now they scan Facebook for something to be angry about. I saw one of these vigilante flash mobs in action a few months ago outside the house of some teenage idiot who'd made a sick joke on Facebook. The police ended up taking him into custody for his own safety.

With a little encouragement we could probably get them all to start gathering in fields and beating the crap out of each other again.

Revealed at last: Universe's intergalactic dark matter skeleton

D 13

Re: Ten

At least ten shitloads

MPs slam 'unworkable' one-size-fits-all NHS care records' system

D 13

It is a completely unsurprising fail

The politicians decided from the beginning that it had to be a massive project requiring huge amounts of resources that could only be provided by companies like CSC and BT. CSC and BT were of course happy to oblige with project plans of epic proportions. As numerous posters have already pointed out, the best solution would have been one based on standardised protocols for information exchange, however that would have been way too cheap and simple for CSC, BT or the politicians.

We're all very lucky that the Internet was allowed to develop for so long without politicians taking an interest.

Grauniad faces offshoring strike

D 13

Supply and Deman

The Guardian's business model is dead. Why pay for a bunch of nice but dim media luvvies for their idiotic rants, when you can go on the Internet and view the rantings millions of self opinionated wankers for free?

ID cards poster girl laments her £30

D 13

""I never had any kind of evangelical wish to make other people register for an ID card,"

And yet back in December she wrote a long article for the Manchester Evening News saying

"I genuinely felt proud and excited when I was finally handed my card. I loved seeing my name, face and the words British citizen on this tiny piece of plastic. That’s who I am, and why shouldn’t anyone know?"

and then followed it up with the classic

"As I’ve said before I understand why people have their reservations, but I personally can’t see what there is to lose if you’re a law abiding citizen with nothing to hide."

and she also drops in the fact that she knows they'll be abandoned if the tories get in.


It's just a shame that they didn't cost more.

Teletext licence holder fined for killing service early

D 13

@Paulf - Sorry..........

but you seem to have Godwined prematurely.

The Cameregg plan: Who got what?

D 13
Thumb Up

Not a bad start

to be fair.

Man coughs to sex with donkey and horse

D 13

I think I found his web site

here http://www.deagostini.com.au/ilovehorses/

Mines the one with a riding crop in the pocket

Computer glitch prompts 50 raids on elderly couple's home

D 13

A once in a lifetime oppotunity to

Move out, fill the house with cannabis plants, and make a fortune confident in the knowledge that the police aren't going to kick the door in.

Dell bars Win 7 refunds from Linux lovers

D 13
Gates Halo

Now that news

of the EULA discrepancy has broke the public will immediately reject Microsoft and embrace Linux.

Sorry boys, but it's just not going to happen.

Everyone's heard of linux, some of us have given it a try and it's OK, but no thanks. There isn't going to be a great awakening of the masses, most people are going to stick with Windows even if it does cost them money, and will never move to Linux.

Time to move on. Spend a bit more time on your social skills or personal hygiene, you'll find it a lot more productive in the long run.

Hong Kong Taoist masters still hard at it

D 13
IT Angle

This proves there is a market for the i(diot)-pad

in Honk Kong at least, so there is an IT angle people just weren't looking deeply enough.

Huffington Post retweets all of Twitter

D 13

"The strange move caused a bit of a blog storm from people who felt their content had been stolen."

Breathtaking, these twats who spend their days twitering via their i-phones are truly delusional.

False Moscow CCTV feed scam leads to fraud charges

D 13

I'm struggling with this one

Surely it would be more difficult to set up video cameras to send a recorded stream in synch with the time of day, than just set them up to work as they are meant to, sending live images.

How many days should it really take for someone watching CCTV screens, before they realise that they are watching a looped stream on some of the cameras?

e.g. You'd start to wonder why it was snowing in some parts of the city and not in others.

Parcelforce fails to deliver for Windows 7 lovers

D 13
Paris Hilton

Busines categoy for the Darwin Awards?

Parcel force deserve some recognition for going out of their way to make their service inaccessible to (probably) a majority of their potential customers. It is a piece of outstanding stupidity and incompetence, that defies any attempt at justification.

Let's hope that somebody takes PF to court and beats them round the head with a copy of the Disability Discrimination Act. Whilst many businesses devote time and money to making their web sites accessible to visually impaired users, these muppets have actually gone out of their way to do the opposite.

Paris, because she knows how to make herself accessible.

Federal boffins: 'Giant invading snakes' will soon rule USA

D 13

Are these monster snakes bullet proof?

because if they aren't it's going to be a very short war for control of the US.

Pirate Bay sinks again after Dutch ISP complies to cut off order

D 13

I wonder how much was spent on lawyers

just to force me to use a proxy to get to the piratebay for a couple of hours. Now it's up again running as well as ever. Someone is pissing a lot of money up against the wall to achieve nothing.

D 13

It doesn't work on my Virgin Media connection, but

I have a proxy running on a fasthosts server and from there it's working fine. I think it's time I changed my ISP

Cops taser naked doorbell-ringing giant

D 13

he may have been playing "Knock down Ginger"

as I've never heard of it before, but he wasn't playing "Knock a door run", not by any rules that I remember. There were only two rules knock hard, run like hell. Hanging around afterwards was never an option, neither was waving your tackle around.

100 freetards an hour join Pirate Party UK

D 13

We need a ninja party

to act as the official opposition. If the news carried daily reports of Pirates vs Ninjas, more people would take an active interest in politics.

Mrs Slocombe's pussy vanishes from Twitter

D 13

I'm ashamed at my immaturity

reading this list put me on my knees

Our Figures are Slipping -- "It's very short notice--there's my pussy to consider. Who's going to let it out?"

Cold Comfort -- "You're lucky to have me at all, Captain Peacock. I had to thaw me pussy out before I came. It had been out all night."

The Think Tank -- "Well, if I'm not home on the stroke of six, my pussy goes mad."

Hoorah for the Holidays -- "Oh, Mr. Rumbold, I hope this isn't going to take long. My pussy's been locked up for eight hours."

The Hand of Fate -- "You know, animals are very psychic. I mean, the least sign of danger and my pussy's hair stands on end."

German Week -- "You know, this sort of thing just isn't fair on my pussy. She has a go at the furniture if I'm not there prompt."

New Look -- "It's a wonder I'm here at all, you know. My pussy got soakin' wet. I had to dry it out in front of the fire before I left."

Christmas Crackers -- "I hope we're not going to be late tonight. Because I've left Winston clinging to the curtain ring--he refuses to come down. The mere sight of my pussy drives him mad."

No Sale -- "Having a bath at 6 o'clock in the morning played havoc with my pussy."

Forward, Mr. Grainger -- "Well, speaking personally, I never have any trouble getting up in the morning. My pussy's just like an alarm clock. Every morning at 6:15 it drops its clockwork mouse on my pillow."

Fire Practice -- "Can we get on with it? I can't bear the sight of my pussy, standing at the door with a tin-opener in its mouth."

Fire Practice -- "Oh, I don't need a fire alarm. At the first sign of smoke, my pussy rushes into the garden and it sits on the concrete tortoise in the middle of the goldfish bowl."

The Father Christmas Affair -- "Well, I hope it's not going to take long. If I'm not home on the stroke of seven, my pussy starts clawing at my busy lizzy."

Mrs. Slocombe Expects -- "Well, the central heating broke down. I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front."

A Change is as Good as a Rest -- "But they're all dogs! Is there no demand for mechanical pussies?"

The Old Order Changes -- "I hope this isn't going to take long, Captain Peacock. The last time I was late, a fireman had to climb out of my bedroom window and risk his life on a narrow ledge tryin' to grab hold of my pussy."

Goodbye, Mr. Grainger -- "Oh, look! It's a diamante collar for my pussy."

The Club -- "Well, if I'm to spend an evening in this club, there'll have to be accommodation for my pussy."

Shedding the Load -- "She went right up to the sergeant at the desk, and she said, 'Have any of your constables reported having seen this lady's pussy?'"

A Bliss Girl -- "What about this fog? My pussy's been gasping all night."

Happy Returns -- "Well, I can't stay too late. The man next door is popping in every half-hour to keep an eye on my pussy."

The Junior -- "I've got to get home. If my pussy isn't attended to by 8 o'clock, I shall be strokin' it for the rest of the evening."

The Apartment -- "Well, you know how clumsy those removal men are. I'm not havin' 'em handlin' my pussy."

The Apartment -- "Mr. Humphries! Leave my pussy alone!"

The Hero -- "Today's the day my pussy comes of age!"

Anything You Can Do -- "If there are any leftovers, my pussy gobbles them up in a flash."

Is It Catching? -- "But at 7 o'clock tonight, my pussy's expectin' to see a friendly face."

Closed Circuit -- "Is that Mr. Ackbar? Mrs. Slocombe here, your next-door neighbor. I wonder, would you do me a favour? Would you go to my front door, bend down, and look through the letter-box? And if you can see my pussy, would you drop a sardine on the mat?"

Roots? -- "I've got a sculptor coming this evening. He's going to do my pussy in clay."

Roots? -- "It's at a very critical stage. All last night, I had to keep it on the table covered by a wet flannel. And tonight at 9 o'clock, all the neighbors are comin' in to watch him pour plaster of paris all over it...and then put it in a very hot oven."

Sweet Smell of Success -- "I inadvertently dropped some on my pussy, and there were tomcats throwin' themselves against my cat-flap all night."

Calling All Customers -- "I ought to ring my neighbor and ask her to look in on my pussy."

Calling All Customers -- "They're for my pussy...d'you know, it wins a prize every time I show it."

Monkey Business -- "But then they spotted my pussy and were off."

Lost and Found -- "I suddenly realized he means more to me than anything else in the world...except my pussy, of course."

Goodbye, Mrs. Slocombe -- "Twenty minutes later my pussy was in a basket on its way to Scotland."

The Night Club -- "Look, I'm trying to get my pussy on the phone!"

Friends and Neighbors -- "My only problem is, will my pussy feel at home in a strange place?"

Grace & Favour (Are You Being Served? Again!) #1 -- "Mr. Humphries, would you hold my pussy while I alight?"

Grace & Favour #1 -- "Somebody help me, please! That naughty goat has got hold of my pussy and won't let go!"

Grace & Favour #2 -- "He won't be so confident when he sees my pussy."

Grace & Favour #2 -- "They're not having my pussy! And I am unanimous in that!"

Grace & Favour #5 -- "I'll put my pussy in front of the hole, and the next time he comes out, he'll get a nasty shock."

Grace & Favour #5 -- "Captain Peacock, have you seen my pussy?"

Grace & Favour #7 -- "My pussy was very agitated."

Grace & Favour #9 -- "He was devoted to me...and to the pussy I had at the time."

Grace & Favour #10 -- "I've never seen one of those before...a two hundred year-old pussy."

Grace & Favour #10 -- "I have a pussy of great antiquity, and I'd like him to take a look at it."

Grace & Favour #11 -- "He'd have raised a pussy."

Grace & Favour #12 -- "Do you know, I found my pussy trapped in my drawers."



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