Posts by The Beer Monster

One (storage) protocol to rule them all?

Preach it, brother.

Bacon can kill: Official

I was that shocked by the news I had to go outside for a smoke to help me calm down.

Has UK gov lost the census to Lulzsec?

Social Networking

1) Modding a forum isn't social networking. It's working

2) You found a town and a date. One of them is false.

D'oh yourself.

Seeing as you asked

"Unless you've been ex-directory for a couple of decades"

Yup

"and made your electoral roll data private"

Yup

"If you've done any social networking at all and if anybody in your extended family has signed up to one of these dreary genealogy websites then there's even more online."

No on both.

"With your full name and access to Pipl, I could probably have filled in your census form on your behalf then phoned your bank and cancelled your direct debit to the Donkey Rescue Society."

I doubt it. I can't find me on Pipl and I know everything about me, on account of being me.

"If your identity was worth stealing then somebody would already have stolen it. And now that The Bad Guys (allegedly) have access to tens of millions of handy identities in one place, yours is worth even less."

That is not the point. If everyone's info is available, then anyone could pretend to be anyone else or anyone could find enough info to victimise anyone else.

That's a major headache for everyone.

Well, if it's true...

I look forward to my new (government supplied) identity - because if it is true, we're all fscked with the ones we currently have.

Google bypasses admin controls with latest Chrome IE

G3DC?

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.

Orange spreads Glasto goofery to t-shirts

Green?

Surely the only green here is the stuff Orange have been smoking whilst at Glasto,..

Microsoft warns on support scams

Good advice

If someone calls you claiming to be from your bank, ask for a reference number and drop the call. Call your bank. Tell them someone rang claiming to be them. If the call was genuine, you'll get through to the right people.

If someone calls you claiming to be from your credit card company, ask for a reference number and drop the call. Call your credit card company. Tell them someone rang claiming to be them. If the call was genuine, you'll get through to the right people.

Etc...

NHS trust issues nurse jub flash alert

NOOOOO!

What's the point in being ill if there's no scenery to look at?

Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Colin

You'll be in the film, they'll just call you Co-lynne not Coll-lin

emmm...

Reg-ing.

The act of reading or posting on El Reg!

That's that sorted then.

I am sure I have heard rappers use the word Dog and N-word

Who was that band again?

Ah yes, Diggaz with Attitude

Sophos says sorry over Google Analytics false alarm

An hour? From 5:15?

We were seeing that from 7:30 until around 11, despite the servers here checking for updates every 15 minutes.

In Sophos' defence we were aware that it was a false positive and that an auto update would fix it.

Cybercrime figures 'as true as sexual-conquest scores'

I've never gone to bed...

...with an ugly cybercriminal, but by god I've woken up next to a few.

Sony hack reveals password security is even worse than feared

"A useful password mnemonic...

... I was taught is to take a line from a song, then take the first letter from each word or each syllable. Additional characters can be derived from word sounds or appearances. For example: "Is this the way to Amarillo" becomes "Ittw2Am%""

Have you ever worked for me?

iTunes Match is iPiracy, claims loopy Oz industry troll

Hang on...

Every piece of music in Apple's collection for $24.99? Bargain.

Spot-the-fake site launched

This whole thing reminds me of...

...a market stall in Turkey I saw a few years ago. The sign outside read "Genuine FAKE Rolex watches sold here!"

Who's protecting the genuine fakes, eh?

Wake up, Linux hippies: No one 'morally obligated' to give back

In the words of Bob Mills and Tony Hancock

I didn't come here for a lecture on communism.

Chicago lawyer deploys distractionary dumplings

Atencia-n seeking

That is all...

BOFH: Attack of the Global Corporate Overlords

Is that because

you took the course in Thuthics?

The company formerley known as...

Norwich-k**king Union.

Bloatus Goats all over the place...

Apple to support reps: Don't confirm Mac infections

Oh FFS...

Yeah, mac users have been saying that for a while. Your time will come.

Welshman attempts to board train with pony

AAAAARRGGGHHH

It's in Bootnotes.

CATS to be saved by BLASPHEMERS after the RAPTURE

So...

Does that mean the Christians all have to leave their magic fish behind as well?

Plague of US preachers falsely claim to be Navy SEALs

ARRSE

Not tolerant of Walts. I seem to recall a big Walt outing a few years ago.

Nude gardener's arse hauled into court

IANAL, but...

In law, doesn't a reference to the singular include the plural and a reference to the male include the female?

porn?

Only if he's got at least a semi.

It's ok if it's a terraced house, bungalow or bedsit...

Google sued over – yes – Android location tracking

37.0625,-95.677068

NGC - Trillium Cinema?

Confused of .uk.

Save the planet: Stop the Greens

Eh?

I never said it was a non issue.

I said that people calling it "save the planet" should be more truthful about what they're trying to save.

Save the planet?

I wish people would be more honest about things. This has got sod all to do with saving the planet. It's all about saving the Human Race and "the way things are, with the pretty birdies and the whales and...".

As has been pointed out earlier, the planet's been through more climate change than you can shake a stick at and it's still here.

Man arrested wearing hair scrunchie on short and curlies

ummmmm...

It's in Bootnotes. No IT angle required.

Calling all readers: Want some new icons?

Acute, right, obtuse?

:nonchalant whistle:

I will happily donate my Kitler to the cause.

Well, a picture of him, anyway.

Poor little furry bugger.

Beer.

There is only beer. Anything else would be wrong.

XXX domain names go live

It's been emotional

Yup, they probably ran out of tissues...

Interwebs stunned by musical atrocity

I think...

... you miss the point.

No

There is no 4.

4 relies on your opinion, not mine.

In order for me to have an opinion on it, I would have to listen to it, so it could be a 1 or a 2.

But I am not going to listen to it.

Therefore it is a 3.

There's only 3 sorts of music

1) The stuff you like

2) The stuff you don't

3) The stuff you haven't heard yet.

On the back of other's comments, I have decided that this particular track should stay as a 3 for me. I shall desist from clicking on any links, watching TV, listening to the radio, going out...

Pr0n domain approved by ICANN

Thing?

Think.

Must use spill chucker.

I don't thing the pr0n purveyors

will get rid of their .coms

After all, you don't keep all your xxx in one basket...

Apple 'gay-cure' app severely slapped

This is America

I definitely think that forums.theregister.co.uk is not America.

BOFH: In distributed denial

I'm a horsefucker

And so's my wife...

Oh, sorry - thought this was the HBGary thread.

HBGary's nemesis is a '16-year-old schoolgirl'

There is no truth

...in the rumour that Rush are to release a new album called 2011 with a track titled "The Temples of Xyrix" either.

More cocaine found at Kennedy Space Center

Fly me to the moon...

I'll drink to that

Dim Brits think TARDIS IS REAL

Here we go...

I think you mean "Hello kettle? You're black!"

Router-rooting malware pwns Linux-based network devices

ELF and Safety...

Surely?

Lady Gaga puts the squeeze on breast milk ice cream

Lady Gaga

Say what you like - the bloke puts on a good show.

(Nicked from Mock the Week, IIRC).

Angry Birds flies to Facebook

Smiles..

...all round. A beer for whoever came up with that gem.

Sheila's Fails? The statistics of biological risk

25 years of driving

And my wife's never had a car accident...

Mind you, she's seen plenty in the rear view mirror as she's been swerving all over the road whilst putting her lipstick on.