Posts by Jimbo 6

NASA slammed for losing hundreds of moon rocks

"a scientist kept a moon rock for 35 years without ever doing any research on it"

He should have just submitted a paper on "The efficacy of lunar rocks in preventing the unwanted dispersion of piles of paper left next to desktop fans"

Netflix set to make your video history public

Cynic quotient, I believe

Way to make fiends and influence people ! You go, girl !

The rest of us just couldn't believe the article didn't say 'consumers will have to go through a tortuous opt-out process to stop Netflix releasing their rental data'.

Paris, cos she knows *all about* having your video history made public

Bumblebee boffins rediscover long-vanished species

Cheeses Kerrrrist !

It's the size of a FUCKING RAT !

How did they not spot that for 55 years ???

Oh...

Facebook disses Effin Irishwoman

Not only, but also :

Upper Twatt - as in, "I can see Upper Twatt from here"

(Also in Orkney : Cumminess, and Tongue of Gangsta)

Voyager probe reaches edge of Solar System's 'bubble'

'Soon we find out what interstellar space is really like'

Rather like peach-flavoured Angel Delight, if the accompanying illustration is to be believed.

Mmmmmmmm peach-flavoured Angel Delight...

Snowbound Alaskan survives on frozen beer

"emergency gear should stay in the vehicle"

Indeed, only an idiot would have

1) taken all the emergency gear out,

2) bought Coors Light, and

3) (according to the linked news site) "climbed into the cab of his Toyota Tacoma Monday night in Nome to see how far a road winding to the north would take him" in ALASKA !!! at the end of FRIKKIN NOVEMBER !!!!

Man gets £12,500 after girlfriend probes his medical data

It just goes to prove...

...Just because you have a pre-existing paranoid personality disorder, doesn't mean that someone isn't out to get you !

Jew or not Jew app withdrawn from iTunes

My 2 shekels

(IMHO !) Jewish culture has caused Jewish people to always define themselves as separate to, and different from, everyone else.

Sadly, history has shown that this is a double-edged sword : a large number of people over many centuries have reacted by seeing Jewish people as separate to, and different from, 'the rest of us', and we all know about the appalling consequences.

This app seems to be a modern manifestation of that "we're not like you" mentality, so I definitely support its removal, cos it does nothing but promote racism in both directions.

Now let's all get drunk and play ping-pong.

Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

didn't think anything of it ?

I've known a few girls leap out of bed and run out of the room after sex, but they've never bothered to take the condom with them.

>Giggity giggity<

Councils 'fessed up to just 55 of 1,035 data loss shockers

My ghast is well and truly flabbered

"In Kent, scanned case notes relating to children were found on Facebook."

To me, a 'loss' is something that happens accidentally. Can anyone explain exactly how someone might *accidentally* do that ?

I can only think that you would have to scan a load of casenotes for some legitimate reason, save them in the same folder as the pics of your latest weekend pissup, then upload the entire folder but don't bother looking at the output because you're too busy rushing out to pick up the latest copy of 'Hello' magazine.

If I could include two icons, there'd be a 'Facepalm' too.

UK has no idea if it's selling spyware to evil regimes

Dual-use software

I'm thinking....

“Friend Finder”

“Family Finder”

“Dissident Finder”

Attention swingbellies: Pizza sauce is a healthy vegetable

FFI ? FFS

"ensuring schools and the children they serve continue to have access to a variety of nutritious foods"

Doublethink at its finest

Think your CV is crap? Your interview skills are worse

Agreed

I think it was the abrasive tone, rather than the content, that made the previous article so badly received - maybe Mr Connor needs to brush up on his diplomacy skills. I mean, in my line of work (application support) I frequently want to say to customers

WERE YOU BORN A F***ING MORON OR WERE YOU JUST REPEATEDLY DROPPED ON THE HEAD AS A SMALL CHILD ? EITHER WAY, READ THE F***ING MANUAL AND STOP WASTING MY F***ING TIME !!!!!!!

- but I find I get less negative feedback when I tone it down a bit.

Welsh factions clash over .cymru and .wales bids

Twll ti'n

<i>"First Minister Carwyn Jones ...prefers ".wales" to ".cymru", in order to appeal to businesses internationally"</i>

You see, that's where Germany has gone wrong, with their .de suffix. How can they possibly expect English speakers to cope with the fact that other countries call themselves *some weird name* in *another language* ? No wonder they're an economic backwater.

New pics of giant black sphere hurtling toward Earth

What we really need...

.. is to fit the Earth with a big red Hyperspace button. That should avert any future asteroid-related problems.

Aaaargh we're in the path of VENUS now noooooooooooooo....

Feds warn 'pox party' zealots not to send viruses in post

there are always parents sceptical of "unnatural" immunisation programmes

... not to mention big metal birds, crackle-magic, photergraffs, the printing press, folks that don't need a suntan to be brown, the wheel, fire...

Prince Harry given free run of Arizona town's womenfolk

Oxy, moron

Sir -

Although 'oik' does have the meaning of 'ill-educated' or 'ignorant', it is most often used to refer to the proletarian classes, so is inappropriate for a member of the Royal Family.

Better, I believe, to refer to Prince Harry as a nob.

Colossal dead black neo-sphere approaching Earth

Eh ???

Jews - Christians - filing cabinets ???

Better (for all you 9/11 conspi^H^H^H^H truth seekers) is to change NYC into both webdings and wingdings

Hackers mistake French rugby site for German stock exchange

Gentlemen, please !

A fine rant, sir, with the best of motives; however, I do believe that Mr McCoatover was satirically emulating the style of a rugby player*, rather than speaking from the heart. It will be some time yet afore the Mail Morlocks infest the catacombs of El Reg.

*or more likely, a fan of the round ball, for we all know that rugby is a thug's game played by gentlemen, whilst football is a gentleman's game played by thugs.

Paris, for she (I am told) enjoys a good solid tackle.

Is your old hardware made of gold, or just DIRT?

Tin solders

Did anyone else have a Stiff Little Fingers moment ?

- that's a fantastic bit of info about the whiskers though (I thought modern electronics were just designed to fail after 366 days as part of some capitalist conspiracy) & an excellent article all in all

Army of 'socialbots' steal gigabytes of Facebook user data

how much e-mail spam is the result of similar research

I'm imagining knob-boffins down at the Institute of Penis Enlargement, scratching their heads and saying "why the hell has NO-ONE contacted us back about our miracle breakthrough ??? We've sent gazillions of emails..."

Look who's talking ... about your Facebook Page

Yummy Vulture Cola

I like the sound of that.... where do i buy some ?

(Government Health Warning : this drink may make you bitter and cynical, and has been linked with Puerile Humour Syndrome)

Seattle superhero arrested for assault

Can we stop this now

This discussion has got far too protracted.

Man charged in nude celebrity hacking case

Re : Are people really this stupid?

Have you just arrived from Mars, or is that a rhetorical question ?

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. "

(George Carlin)

Paris, cos at least she's made a career out of her mental deficiencies.

Boffins fear killer gamma death blasts from space

On a serious note...

...let's use a small percentage of the world's GDP to build some spaceships, and GET THE FLICK OUTTA HERE !!!!

(No point in all of us going obviously, as wherever we run to is just as likely to get zapped at some point... we'll put the Human Resources and Accountancy departments on the First Ark)

Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

"officers saw two suspects inside a block of flats"

ROTM.

That's all.

Judge cracks down on Bayesian stats dodginess in court

general population not exactly a hotbed of sophisticated statistical reasoning

Remove the words "sophisticated" and "statistical" from that phrase and it'll have even more truthiness in it.

Mine's the one with a ticket to Alpha Centauri in the pocket.

Antitrust nemesis accuses Google of 'WMD program'

What's that you say ?

Google are developing WMDs ?

Well if a bit of unsubstantiated accusation is good enough to invade a major oil produc^H^H^H^ repressive regime, then it's good enough to let Mountain View have it with both barrels !

Let's lock 'n' load, people !!

Google+ bans real name under ‘Real Names’ policy

"technically part of England"

I'll trump your pedantic comment - constitutionally, England and Wales are two parts of the same country, whose name is "England and Wales" (a bit like "Trinidad and Tobago"). Thus there is actually no such country as "England" (or "Wales" either).

COMET WILL DEFINITELY NOT HIT EARTH – NASA

@Stoneshop

Nobody uses silly units like miles any more - what's that in Linguine ?

Twitter 'Stalker app' just a phishing scam

"stalking your Twitter"

Surely the whole point of Twatter is to get as many people as possible to listen to your inane drivel ? How can anyone who uses it be stupid enough to complain that they are then being 'stalked' ?

Oh, wait...

Spamford Wallace charged for hacking 500,000 Facebookers

"He was ordered not to access Facebook or MySpace"

Prosecuting Attorney : What about Bebo, your Honour ?!!!

Judge : Meh.

Spanish unfurl Benny 16 banana bog roll

Love the Satanic bogroll

Made from "100% virgin pulp", I notice

E-petitions site: Death wish FAIL

Good thinking

...or indeed, some of Dubya's ex-torturers. (Oh, wait - they're still gainfully employed...)

Hobbyist killed by home-made hovercraft

Hahahaha

You are indeed correct sir. I doff my cap to your pedantic accuracy.

Oh for chuff's sake

Please google* 'swamp boat images' and 'hovercraft images' and compare.

All swamp boats and most hovercraft have a huge fan (sometimes two) in the same place on the vehicle.

It's like saying that a Robin Reliant has a one-wheel-at-front-two-wheels-at-back configuration, just like a jet aircraft. It's not like saying that a Robin Reliant IS a jet aircraft, so please stop looking for technical mistakes where none exist.

*other search engines do exist.

Legal expert: Letters can be evidence, so can Facebook

"If I was on a jury, I would definitely be highly skeptical..."

However, you sir obviously have considerably more grey matter between your ears than most of the poulation. Your average lunghead would almost certainly take anything on Facebook (or the News O' T' Screws, or the Daily Heil) at face value.

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." --George Carlin

Paris, cos, well, duuh.

Your mom, girlf, boyf: Spying on your phone and email

Worth knowing...

...I was at a pub quiz recently, & one of the questions was "What does the abbreviation POS mean, in teenage internet chatrooms ?" - and no-one in the room knew, myself included.

So for everyone's enlightenment & future knowledge... "Parent Over Shoulder"

(Just don't let the *little darlings* know that you know)

Google turning us into forgetful morons, warn boffins

Ah...

...you've also had to deal with the Department for Work & Pensions lately ?

Facebooking juror gets 8 months

@ Pulling a thug off

Is this what's known as 'rough trade' ?

Council fined for randomly emailing personal data

'an alert function when sensitive information is sent to an external email address'

Hopefully, it will alert *before* the information is sent ? Or will it just play a snippet of Britney's "Oops I did it again" after the event, to confirm the user is indeed a lunghead?

Sony hack reveals password security is even worse than feared

the only safe password is one you can't remember

Oh boy, the end-user community that I support must have *extremely safe* passwords

Must dash, there's another reset request in the mailbox...

Men pocket $1.5m in alleged ATM skimming spree

"the men surreptitiously replaced PIN pads in at least seven banks"

I suspect the reality was :

they marched in in broad daylight, said "we're from the IT department", and got on with it...

Student suspended for posting random satire on YouTube

> Ye Title <

LEAVE !

CHRISTIE !

ALOOOOOOOONE !!!

HE'S A BEAUTIFUL PERSON !!! JUST LEAVE... HIM... ALONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

US Supremes add 'willful blindness' to patent law

@ Martijn & ratfox

Are you not talking at cross-purposes here ?

If you *invent* a new product and are unaware that someone else has already done it, you could still reasonably claim that you had no way of knowing that you were infringing their patent.

Surely that is considerably different from picking up someone else's product, *copying* it, and then saying 'oh it didn't have a patent number on it so we assumed it wasn't patented' ... n'est-ce pas ?

Engineering student cracks major riddle of the universe

@ the last place

Unless you're the sort of idiot that carries on looking after you've found the item

Heavy coffee drinking wards off deadly cancer in men

@ 'Perhaps in the world of journalism'

You do know this website is aimed at IT support people, right ?

Bin Laden's porn stash: Too good to be true?

Ye title goeth here

"Burka Babes with Bazookas"

That's all.

Broadband leads to drug abuse, say US boffins

Can't disagree...

...but I think there is an additional conclusion, which is that Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection works, too.

Assange: Facebook a ‘spying machine’

Chomsky

Six months ago I would have totally agreed with you regarding Prof. C, but after reading 'Towers of Deception' by by Barrie Zwicker I've seen him in a totally different light (like most of the 'mainstream media', Chomsky totally accepts that 9/11 happened exactly as the Bush administration told us... nothing to see here, move along). Essential reading for anyone who thought Chomsky was the scourge of the media.

Not anonymous, cos *they* (the MIBs, not the Chomskybois) probably have ways of knowing who I am anyway...so if 'Jimbo 6' never posts on El Reg again, avenge my death !