* Posts by Jimbo 6

343 publicly visible posts • joined 23 Jun 2009


Cops deploy StingRay anti-terror tech against $50 chicken-wing thief

Jimbo 6

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to include their brains.

Suck on this: White hats replace Locky malware payload with dummy

Jimbo 6

Re: Technically what they've done is a crime in many jurisdictions

IANAL, but... most jurisdictions have some variant of 'force majeure' exemption, e.g.

- Smashing someone's car window is a crime

- Smashing someone's car window because they're trapped inside and dying is not a crime

Facebook bungs 10-year-old kid $10k to not 'eliminate' Justin Bieber

Jimbo 6

I, who am an inveterate party animal, would start by attributing it to beer being around 50 quid for a thimbleful in Suomi.

You'd need a second mortgage for one of these > > > >

Old, complex code could cause another UK banking TITSUP – study

Jimbo 6

one-third above world average

Personally, I believe that 900K is *one-half* above 600k.

At last: Ordnance Survey's map wizardry goes live

Jimbo 6

I'm happy...

...because I looked at the first screenshot and immediately thought "is that Ladybower ?". I hereby award myself 100 Nerd Points and a pint of Scruttock's Old Dirigible.

E-cigarettes help save lives, says Royal College of Physicians

Jimbo 6

A report based on evidence instead of prejudice ?

Now that really is a breath of fresh air.

Hackers so far ahead of defenders it's not even a game

Jimbo 6


Now, THAT was a proper game... peow ! peow ! peow ! (sigh...)

Sorry, what was everyone else talking about ?...

Logging on to United's frequent flyer site might take longer than a flight

Jimbo 6

Re: Kill all the security questions now

WHAT...is your name ?

WHAT...is your quest ?

WHAT...is your favourite colour ?

>> 'Old man from scene 23' icon, natch

Idiot millennials are saving credit card PINs on their mobile phones

Jimbo 6

One question remains...

... given that The Yoof record all their PINs on their fondleslabs (which may - or may not - be a good idea, see previous posts) :

Do they actually back up that info anywhere else ?

Censorship FTW! China bans Paris Hilton, minor Kardashians et al

Jimbo 6

Re: One Ticket Please... Maybe

I'm with you on this !

I think the possibility of me being garrotted-at-dawn on the flimsiest of pretexts, so that my internal organs can be harvested for the benefit of Party apparatchiks, is - frankly - a small price to pay for a guaranteed Kardashian-free life.

Are bearded blokes more sexist?

Jimbo 6

Beard or no beard...

...anyone who ties their jumper around their neck, like the bloke in the photo, is an utter twunt.

Internet users don't understand security or privacy, says survey

Jimbo 6

Re: Survey version 2

"The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value, if none of them know anything about the subject."

~ Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor, 161-180 CE)

Woz says wearables – even Apple Watch – aren't 'compelling'

Jimbo 6

"a phone is no substitute for planning and preparation when hiking"

Or when performing any activity at all, I postulate.

(Obviously my view varies from that of the un-hosed millions, who apparently believe that planning and preparation are no substitutes for a shiny gadget.)

US anti-encryption law is so 'braindead' it will outlaw file compression

Jimbo 6

@ Aodhhan

You forgot to include the 'Joke Alert' icon, right ?

Jimbo 6

Re: Bending the natural sciences to conform to political will ...

Ideas for forthcoming legislation :

1) Medical companies to be obliged to jolly well cure cancer.

2) Pizzas to be calorie-free, whilst still retaining the same yumminess.

3) ...

Half of people plug in USB drives they find in the parking lot

Jimbo 6

Re: A good file name

Did anyone else ever receive an email attachment called "Brilliant_Ice_Hockey_Fight.wmv" (who could resist ?)

When opened it was actually a Powerpoint file (so automatically opened in full screen, & all other buttons disappeared) which flashed, in massive letters, 'DOWNLOADING GAY PORN NOW'.

Cue frantic scrambling to close the offending item. Lesson learned.

Barbie-brained Mattel exec phell for phishing, sent $3m to China

Jimbo 6

Of course there's a process.

However, as already discussed in a Reg article today (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/04/06/the_top_ten_things_your_users_need_to_know/ ), "self-important individuals... decide the processes and policies don't apply to them and do their own thing".

April Fool decries Blighty's dodecaquid

Jimbo 6
Black Helicopters

Re: Those ones are a pain...

It is a question that has vexed me for some time, why my trouser pockets fail a long, long time before the rest of the trousers. Over time I have refined two hypotheses to explain this phenomenon :

1) Ongoing inflation, which has resulted in me continually carrying a weight of clanking coins that, three decades ago, would have been sufficient to finance an entire weekend of drinking and whoring.


2) A nefarious international tailors' conspiracy to create a Single Point of Failure in trousers, by ensuring that the *most* heavily-abraded section is constructed of the *least* robust material.

The considered opinions of the commentard corps would be most welcome in assisting me with this conundrum.

Your money or your life! Another hospital goes down to ransomware

Jimbo 6

Re: And the moral is.......?

Definite upvote for "hiding file name extensions". It's the sort of 'helpfulness' that makes me start chewing my desk.

See also : folder views defaulting to "Fisher-Price" style icons, like we're all still in fr'k'n kindergarten.

Hackers giving up on crypto ransomware. Now they just lock up device, hope you pay

Jimbo 6
Paris Hilton

Re: Discovery

I totally want one of those 'security expert' jobs.

This 'penetration tester' career is nowhere near as much fun as I thought it would be.

Comms 'redlining' in Brussels as explosions kill up to 30 people

Jimbo 6

Re: Not only in the capital

(@ AC - you just beat me to posting !)

I'd be very surprised if it falls to the Belgian mass-media to *ask* citizens stay "off [of] their phones".

AFAIK*, in such scenarios UK networks simply block calls to/from any standard number (a large separate block of numbers is set aside for emergency-services/gubmint use), across a defined area.

*Source : v reliable friend who was at Vodaphone's Newbury centre at the time of 7/7, and took the call from the Met police invoking 'Protocol Aardvaark' (or whatever the procedure is called). She advised that the standard media statements that "networks *failed* due to the number of people trying to contact loved ones" is complete BS, they just block all calls from prole-phones.

Web ads are reading my keystrokes and I can’t even spel propperlie

Jimbo 6

Re: Private Eye

While watching Half Man Half Biscuit vids on Yootoob, I got served with ads exhorting me to "SAVE NOW FOR YOUR FUNERAL EXPENSES !!!".

It's as if they think all HMHB fans are depressed middle-aged men with unhealthy lifestyles... oh.

Hotel light control hack illuminates lamentable state of IoT security

Jimbo 6

Re: Jesus Molina

I always wondered where the phrase "Holy Moli" came from.

ExoMars mission thunders aloft from Baikonur

Jimbo 6
Big Brother

Re: Love the retro feel..

In former Soviet republics, high-definition television watches YOU !!!

Sexism isn't getting better in Silicon Valley, it's getting worse

Jimbo 6

Re: Hint to everybody ...


"As a male, I got hit on on a regular basis by females at work. I laughed it off.

My wife, female, reports similar"

Are you both warders in a women's prison ? (Genuine question.)

Backup bods at Microsoft lose CA audit data after server crash

Jimbo 6

Does anyone really still fall for these pathetic scams ?

"Due to a problem on our servers, your CA audit records have been lost.

This requires you to verify your account being the recipient of this update. Failure to verify your records will result in account suspension.

Click on the Verify button below and enter your login information on the following page to Confirm your records.

Thank you

Microsoft Team"

How to help a user who can't find the Start button or the keyboard?

Jimbo 6

Re: Of mice and men

Although I'm right-handed, I started using my mouse on the left many years ago. I can then use my right hand for... er... things that I use my right hand for. Whilst sitting at a computer. Like drinking coffee. Yes, that's it, drinking coffee.

It's 2016 and idiots still use '123456' as their password

Jimbo 6

@ Vector

"First, the people using the passwords have to actually understand and care..."

Remember that we're talking about the general public here, so that plan falls at the first hurdle.

PDF redaction is hard, NSW Medical Council finds out - the hard way

Jimbo 6

highlighting tool

This sorry saga definitely seems to have highlighted the tools at NSW Medical Council.

Microsoft's 200 million 'Windows 10' 'devices' include Lumias, Xboxes

Jimbo 6

'The world's most popular operating system'

...in the same way that gonorrhoea is the UK's 'most popular' STD.

Lots of people have it, that doesn't mean they're enjoying the experience.

What can The Simpsons teach us about stats algorithms? Glad you asked...

Jimbo 6

Re: For real expertise...

The whole article reminded me of a favourite Dilbert cartoon -

Boss : Use the CRS database to size the market.

Dilbert : That data is wrong.

Boss : Then use the SIBS database.

Dilbert : That data is also wrong.

Boss : Can you average them ?

Dilbert : Sure. I can multiply them too.

(That and many more at http://stats.stackexchange.com/questions/423/what-is-your-favorite-data-analysis-cartoon )

IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Google's secretive Omega tech just like LIVING thing

Jimbo 6

"It can be hard to know what to do with it"

- Take off, and nuke the entire site from orbit !

It's the ONLY way to be sure !!!

TSA to pull backscatter perv scanners from US airports

Jimbo 6

Re: Try a new recruitment strategy

...but now (judging by the example ATR images), their HR department will just need to sift out all the job applications from Fru T. Bunn, Master Baker ("Uh ! Uh ! Uh ! You gingerbread slut !")

Amount of ice in Bering Sea reaches all-time record

Jimbo 6

Re: FYI...

1) Your claim of "£250m per year" is demonstrably utter BS. They get about £15m p.a. for climate research, (up from £13m two years ago), according to reasonably-reliable sources :



2) All climate research depends on "modelling", because unlike most scientific research, we cannot repeat the experiment a thousand times to see whether a different outcome occurs when the conditions are changed. We don't have hundreds of planets to experiment on (or a time machine so we can change the past and see how it affects the present).

So if your disagreement is based on the fact that it is a model, then you seem to have a fundamental problem understanding the scientific method involved, and you may as well just stick your fingers in your ears and shout "la la la la it's not happening" for all the wisdom that you're bringing to this debate.

Maybe in your head, every piece of evidence is simply a scam by someone-or-other to make some 'profit' out of 'scaremongering', while the money that companies such as ExxonMobil pour into supporting 'sceptics' is just their way of being philanthropic, and they have *no vested interest* in persuading the world to continue using their products. No doubt if this was the 60s or 70s you'd say that lung cancer boffins only do it because they profit from "maintaining the fraud" that cigarettes are bad for you, whilst those nice tobacco companies are simply fighting for the little man's right to live life however he wants. Personally, I simply don't believe any of that.

At the end of the day, if the 'climate change lobby' are wrong, all that really happens is some people (different people from the current industrial-military status quo) make a few bucks for a while.

However, if the 'denial lobby' are wrong, millions of people (and animals) will die. And when people like yourself blithely say, in a coded way, "well I don't care if millions of people die, I want to keep my toys", I consider you nothing less than utter scum.

Jimbo 6


As far as I can find, absolutely *none* of the mainstream media have covered the report issued by the (UK) Met Office last week, "Industrial pollution linked to 'natural' disasters" (full report published in 'Nature', as "Aerosols implicated as a prime driver of twentieth-century North Atlantic climate variability").

Quote from one of the authors :

"Until now, no-one has been able to demonstrate a physical link to what is causing these observed Atlantic Ocean fluctuations, so it was assumed they must be caused by natural variability.

"Our research implies that far from being natural, these changes could have been largely driven by dirty pollution and volcanoes. If so, this means a number of natural disasters linked to these ocean fluctuations, such as persistent African drought during the 1970's and 80's, may not be so natural after all.

...When industrial pollution peaked over the Atlantic, this effect played a big role in cooling the ocean beneath; as pollution was cleaned up - for example after the clean air legislation of the 90's - the seas warmed."

But then the Met Office are obviously such a bunch of HIPPIES...and obviously *we* couldn't possibly be responsible for droughts that killed millions of people... that would be too much for *some people* to accept.

Where did the hand grenade icon go, cos that's what I'd like to do to climate change deniers.

Matt Groening reveals location of Simpsons' Springfield

Jimbo 6

Re: Indeed

...even more ancient when you can remember the days when popstars dressing as schoolgirls was just harmless fun


(go on, you know you want to)

Fake cop Trojan 'detects offensive materials' on PCs, demands money

Jimbo 6

Re: you'd have to be terminally thick to fall for them

Luckily for the scammers, one thing of which there will never be a shortage, is terminally thick people. (Average person = pretty thick; ergo, 50% of population is more thick than that.)

Windows user icon, natch.

Ice age end was accelerated by CO2

Jimbo 6

@ Uncle Slacky

IIRC (from ep.2 of 'Orbit') the third factor is the location of the perihelion on the orbit ? But yes, the next Ice Age will be along in 60k years, for definite.

But more importantly, has anyone else noticed the *apparent correlation* between rising global temperatures, and the rising number of really HOT tv boffinesses like Helen Czerski and Alice Roberts ? This needs further investigation, I think.

Browsium rescues HMRC from IE6 – and multimillion-pound bill

Jimbo 6

Re: Telford

"Good news, everybody !

We're moving to Mansfield !"


Condom compartment hidden in iPhone case

Jimbo 6

Re: normal behaviour

Good job he didn't chuck his car keys in the fruit bowl.

Terrafugia flies first prototype: Flying cars 'within a year'

Jimbo 6

Screw the jet-packs !

- wake me up when robot wives are cheap and reliable

Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

Jimbo 6


I've done everything the Bible says! Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff !

- Ned Flanders, ‘Simpsons’, series 8 episode 8

Chinese to burn iPads in upcoming celebrations

Jimbo 6

"cutting out some of his own thigh to make Chong'er a meat soup"

And I thought the boss expecting me to give him my Facebook password was bad...

Republicans shoot down proposed ban on Facebook login boss-snoop

Jimbo 6

Re : HR drones

Do they do anything *apart from* use their Facebook accounts ?

(Read 'Hello' and paint their nails, I suppose...)

Sky boffins: The Moon is not Earth's only natural satellite

Jimbo 6


It's pronounced 'Krin-ya'

(In the same way that the Irish lame hippy chanteuse Eithne has her name anglicised as 'Enya')

Sitting down all day is killing you

Jimbo 6

Re: More Tea!

I used to get up every half an hour or so, when I was a teenager. These days I really need Viagra.

Judge orders O2 to name suspected smut burglars

Jimbo 6

Fair play to the beak

At least he didn't let any Daily-Mail-faux-prurience obscure the legal issue.

There was an instance a few years ago where a UK court refused to let a plaintiff pursue a case of blatant false advertising relating to adult services, and basically said "well if you're a perv it doesn't matter if you get ripped off ".

(The facts of the case : the plaintiff rang a premium rate phone line that was advertised with a picture of a busty young lady, and the text "HEAR ME MOAN !!!". The actual product consisted of five minutes of "When are you going to do the washing up and take out that rubbish ? You just sit round the house all day doing nothing ! I should have listened to my mother...")

Goldman Sachs in email muppet hunt

Jimbo 6

My thoughts entirely

His op-ed piece didn't state that GS was a sh1t place to work, it stated that it *treats its clients like sh1t*.

No doubt the 99.99% of GS employees who aren't "disgruntled" are the 99.99% who would sell their own grandmothers into slavery if they needed the capital to cover a margin call.

Spawn of Satan icon, natch.

Google asked to bin autocomplete results for Japanese man's name

Jimbo 6

Re: if someone offers me a job, I am obliged to take it

Slightly off-topic, but 'Class War' newspaper pointed out some years ago that whilst it is an offence to hide any unspent convictions in order to get a job, there is no specific law about spicing up your CV with a few convictions you don't have, in order to *not* get a job...

"Public obscenity, namely, bestiality with a llama in a convent" should probably do the trick.

Jimbo 6

Re: I don't see the issue

That's because :

Hiroyuki Tomita is *the man's lawyer*, not the affected person.

Read twice, post once.