* Posts by Simon 6

29 posts • joined 23 Jun 2009

Spillover from 400lb man squeezed fellow flier into galley

Simon 6

There are already plenty of extra large seats...

It's called first class, business class etc etc.

Comet can't sell anything, including itself

Simon 6

This comes as no surprise to many. I have nothing at all against the staff but I have a lot against the hard-sell insurance and whopping mark-up on some items.

It was the hard selling of insurance and the remarks made when I refused that stopped me wanting to shop there anymore. I now use them only as a last resort and I’m sure there are many like me…

Internet fraud laundryman gets two years in cooler

Simon 6

Make the time fit the crime...

Refusing to hand back the cash: 10 years in prison

Handing back the cash: 1 year in prison

I know the people suckered really are idiots but as others have said; a year in jail for 480k is a fantastic reward and shows once again how crime pays!

Top telly tech fails to drive new set sales

Simon 6
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An accurate survey? wow!

Movie companies wish us to embrace 3D because it makes pirating more difficult. 3D films as they stand are nothing but an eye-strain so until it is more like Star Trek's Holodeck I'll never be interested.

Also, when people start coming out with glasses to prevent 3D films being 3D you should know you'e on to a loser...

Comet cuts jobs as sales fall

Simon 6

They go beyond over-charging!

I had a graphics card die and went around the local tin-pot stores but all were out of the one I was after. They are ALL charging between £45-£65 for the card. I was desperate and went to Comet where I was charged £130 for the same card.

That was the last time I went to Comet...

Cross-dresser kills goat while high on bath salts

Simon 6
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This is why I visit The Register every day...

Headlines like that just cannot be found anywhere else :)

BOFH: In distributed denial

Simon 6
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One of the best

I haven't laughed like that for ages. Well done!

Most coders have sleep problems, need 'hygiene and care'

Simon 6

Night owl coding is so much more productive

I have always coded better at night and it's probably because I've suffered from insomnia for the best part of 20 years. Having my 9-5 job ruins everything.

Without a day time job my peak coding level is12 hours long (4pm to 4am). With my 9-5 job my peak coding level is only 4 hours long (9am and 1pm). I swear my body clock is operating in a completely different time-zone to the rest of me.

If I could come in late afternoon and work through the night my performance would be so much better. If only those jobs existed :-/

FBI cyber cop says 'very existence' of US under threat

Simon 6

I've seen...

I've seen War Games, I know what can happen :P

Aussie smoko-proofing drug prevents ill effects of cigs

Simon 6

Me thinks...

Smokers are a dying breed...literally :P

Spanish town to reward good drivers

Simon 6

But but but....

I thought all countries treated this revenue as a stealth tax?

It will never happen here... those floating duck islands don't come cheap you know!

Saw a mobile blood bank get a ticket last year for parking in a pedestrianised zone.

Another poor guy get a ticket for parking on double yellow lines even though his hazzards were on, the car was jacked up, a tire removed and a note on the window saying he had gone to the tire place 200 yards away to get fixed. Bastards!

Common sense like this? Not in this country

Airport scanner staff object to vetting

Simon 6

underpants bomber... what perfect timing

I'm not one for conspiracy theories but boy, the timing of the underpants bomber just could not happened at a more perfect time.

Public start out-crying over these scanners and viola! pants man bomber turns up and everything is perfect again in the land of Government because this bomber has single handedly solved all the problems.

Muswell Hillbillies force BT to move broadband boxes

Simon 6
Paris Hilton


If "Up to 20Megs!" is quite often found to be 1 Meg does "Up to 40 Megs" mean we can expect speeds of around 2Mb and we may be able to watch iPlayer with buffering happening every few minutes instead of every few seconds?

Paris because she could deliver anything she wanted to me.

New hacker peril for older IE versions

Simon 6

We need this!

MS stopped supporting IE6 ages ago.

A growing number of web sites and web designers have stopped supporting IE6

The world would be a MUCH better place without IE6

If it needs worms and viruses to force people to dump it then so be it. You don't even have to upgrade, just install a better and more secure browser which still gets updated with security patches (Firefox, Opera, Safari etc).

Grenade because IE6 should have been blown to smithereens years ago...

US military jets to run on weeds, scum & corpse-grease

Simon 6
Black Helicopters

Had to be the Military to cotton on first

Knowledge of Peak Oil has been around for years and yet Governments and the Military have been very slow to respond to the problems ahead.

It seems, in the USA at least, that they are finally waking up to the real issues of limited oil in the not-too-distant future...

Apple chokes on Woolworths logo

Simon 6


@y Jimmy Floyd Posted Monday 5th October 2009 10:12 GMT

You Sir, owe me a new keyboard! (starts trying to clear redbull from said keyboard)


BOFH: Weapon of choice

Simon 6
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Yay a BOFH post!


It's funny seeing how they react to others playing the same game ;-)

Firefox 4.0 developers granted year of living dangerously

Simon 6
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I hope if you don't like it...

You can still keep the old look and feel. For me FireFox is already 100% perfect. It does everything I need it to do and I never worry about crashes, reboots or anything else because all my tabs will still be there when I get back.

They have reached perfection for me so I hope the changes won't interfere too much with that.

Custard Creams can kill: Official

Simon 6


Never knew that the real threat isn't a car bomb or suicide bomber; it's a BISCUIT!

Should we raise the threat level the next time those evil biccy-terrorists put biscuits on special offers or god forbid - TWO FOR ONE!

This is scary stuff!


Japan torture flick sickens UK film censor

Simon 6


I watched a gardening programme the other night - Didn't go out gardening.

I watched some stupid dance programme the other night - Didn't go out dancing.

I watched X-files last night - Didn't want to put a tin foil on my head

I watched superman a while ago - Didn't want to jump off a building thinking I could fly.

Wonder what would happen if I watched this?

All the comments saying you'll immediately go on some Dexter style killing rampage are just plain stupid and make you look stupid.

Now; where's my saw and duck tape....

Is Gordon Brown safe to work with vulnerable people?

Simon 6

It's always been one rule for them...

CRB for public = Check

CRB for MP's = Nah, we're exempt

Smoking ban for public = Check

Smoking ban in house of commons bar = Nope, exempt and can still smoke happily in their bar!

Yup, same thing, move along...

Twitter sued for patent infringement

Simon 6

I own you all

"As I own the patents for:

"a thing that does things" and...

" a system that does things"."

You are so sued. I have patents for:

* Things

* Stuff

Sorry but you're also sued! I own patent for:


US grants $47m for power grid smarts

Simon 6


"Modernizing our electrical grid to make it stronger, smarter, more efficient and more secure"

What's the betting the "Secure" will end up costing $46 million of the money as they spread more hysteria about the big bad terro's coming to blow it up...

Three brothers jailed for credit card factory

Simon 6

Crime pays

So they have the fake fascias to get the pin details. This means that would have netted tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands). Makes a year and bit in prison seem completely worthwhile to me. I'm seriously in the wrong business...

Only when the deterrent is severe enough will it put off the casual criminal from branching out.

BT names more exchanges for early fibre upgrades

Simon 6

What a surprise

To see Somerset, Devon and Cornwall all excluded once again.

iPhone hackers update jailbreak, unlock tools for 3GS

Simon 6

This doesn't really matter...

Because it's impossible to buy one!

Too thick to boil an egg? Buy 'em preboiled

Simon 6

I'm simply stunned

That this country has grown so thick that even boiling an egg is beyond them.

This could actually work well as a tactic to route out the dregs of the gene pool. Anyone purchasing this should be arrested at the till, taken out the back and shot.

Notorious spammer Ralsky pleads guilty to stock scam

Simon 6

Of course crime pays

He's been doing it for years, he's admitted to doing it for years. thousands of people (Gullible but still...) are broke and he's earned millions for his most recent scam.

Total Jail time: Counted in months.

I could probably get more jail time parked on a single yellow line with my engine running!

Ok, I know a company that I know will greatly increase in shares very soon. Just email me insidertrading@im-going-to-earn-a-million-in-interest-while-in-prison.com

People just not that into Blu-ray

Simon 6

I'm just an average Joe

I bought a portable CD player in 1986 because the quality was awesome compared to my portable tape player.

I bought a DVD player because the quality was far superior to VHS

But blueray? Yeah the quality is a bit better but nowhere near the extent to justify ditching my collection of DVD's for BR.

I need to have the same massive leap to even think for a second about replacing my film collection. My DVD has a sharp picture, lovely sound and that will do ta.


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