* Posts by John Tappin

36 publicly visible posts • joined 23 Jun 2009

Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network

John Tappin

Now, now...

you are just "parroting" old jokes...

Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

John Tappin

Link back to the early comments

I actually watched a ceiling fan fall at McD's in Sutton, London when I were a lad...

It did indeed spread dust everywhere, while narrowly missing people attempting to eat their cardboard burger shaped food.

That YouTube ad boycott had square-root of sod-all effect on Google's insane cash machine

John Tappin

Arguably should have a stock split

I.e. swapping one share for 4 - putting them into that $250 range.

This is however an expensive and complex exercise - and usually shareholder driven, which apparently is not a concern to Google shareholders.

'Tech troll' sues EFF to silence 'Stupid Patent of the Month' blog. Now the EFF sues back

John Tappin

Never mind the patent

Its a blog FFS, EFF are not manufacturing or commissioning product.

Based on this logic there would be no tech news sites at all.

What are they thinking?

Or is this a black helicopter plan to simply bleed the EFF white with lawsuits so they can't fund the real issues?

No, software-as-a-service won't automatically simplify operations and cut costs

John Tappin

Re: Green Grass

I have a grass upkeep as-a-service if you like - very reasonable

NASA curious about Curiosity's fourth 'safe mode' event

John Tappin

Re: "Shields up!"

AT AT at atat atat at...

Developer waits two years for management to define project

John Tappin

Re: project spec


That's pretty OK for a project spec, its not a design you know.

Could be an issue if there is more than one instance of either of those but often the job involves getting different data formats from different platforms, mapping them, arguing for ages about exceptions and edge cases and who's responsibility they are etc.

I don't think I have ever worked somewhere, even in a software house, when I could simply code from the document I was given with no fear of gaps arising.

El Reg mulls entering Robot Wars arena

John Tappin

Re: Drone on

Airbourne nulclear tank = good idea but not sure what weapon it could use within the rules apart from a bullet speed spike in a kamikazee dive onto the opponent...more like a guided armour piercing shell...

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

John Tappin

The evidence needed to prove the stain on his shirt did not disappear with an application of "Vanish" was getting a bit of a chore...

John Tappin

Although happier, the short sighted Dalek was still waiting for contact lenses to be invented.

Oi, Google! Remove links to that removed story, yells forceful ICO

John Tappin

Convictions can be spent

but removing historic newspaper articles or court records is still censorship...

Spent does not mean the ministry of truth has to change history after 10 years...

Yet another Android app security bug: This time 'everything is affected'

John Tappin

Surely you can do this with almost all OS platforms

I sure an invisible desktop overlay or convincing copy could be deliverd on Linux/Windows too.

Cop shops mock cop for cop stop flop: He'll cop it for copping it up - top cop

John Tappin

well cop that for a headline


The Register editorial job ad

John Tappin


the journalists even write about IT. How about that?

I dont recall anything that says the job pays though...Do you have to sleep in the toilets like Asok the intern from Dilbert?

Nvidia's new CUDA 6 has the 'most significant new functionality in the history of CUDA'

John Tappin

Re: English?


I think asdf is saying that where you need performance you need to keep your data in the fast on-board GPU memory rather than mainboard and using a system that makes it all look like one big memory pool will mean you load the slower mainboard memory more than a tuned application that has synced its data into the GPU space ready for processing.

Updated to add analogy

Bit like single level disk storage presented thus hiding all your expensive and highly architected performance tiers behind a generic storage management interface that just dumps data everywhere.

NSA plans to FREE YOUR DATA with range of cloud services, analytics

John Tappin

This service is indeed being offered (but the brands have been tuned)






Microsoft exec: I don't know HOW our market share sunk

John Tappin

basic issue is the different API's

there is little point in investing in the "windows" ecosystem if each flavour is effectively a new platform - hardly worth calling them all "windows" for s start.

As mentioned by another commentard microsoft works its magic by co-opting manufacturers rather than making a product that will create its own demand via features of some description.

Complex and differential licence models

Lack of integration with home entertainment and other domestic "smart" devices effectively makes the "windows" brand just a word rather than a function environment that can be adopted across all the consumer devices.

Making a PC pretend to be a tablet does not help matters much in their core market either...

Forget wireless power for phones - Korea's doing it for buses

John Tappin

Will nobody suggest the hybri scalextric option?

Looks forward to the crossover section!!

Icelandic town demands vulva museum

John Tappin
IT Angle

what is the IT angle

Or is it just assumed that IT people just need to know?

'As seen on TV' claims can't be made about unbranded props

John Tappin

I thought it meant

As seen on WATCHDOG, CRIMEWATCH etc...

The BBC Micro turns 30

John Tappin
Thumb Up

Hey it was my home control system

I had BBC Master and used it with the Red Box system to automate home sockets and integrate with motion detectors.

How hard is that to do now!

Many hours getting to about 800,000 credits and the order of elite - I often wish I could play that again too sometimes. Did Raxxla really exist??

Still have a BBC B programming book that I cant bring myself to throw away either.

i remember being proud of myself for working out the maths of how to draw circles and create a nice big clock (until the archimedes gave the circle command)

I miss my archimedes with the 10Mb HDD the most tho :(

It's time to end the Windows Wait

John Tappin

But this isn't new....

i remember by trusty Acorn Archimedes flashing into life with the RiscOS in an EPROM (ok, not quite the same as CMOS or flash) and this loaded instantly from power on. The HDD was still spinning up and I could already acces the machine.

At the time I could never understand why people wanted to load an OS from a floppy disk which took ages with its little tunk tunk tunk noise as it stepped through the tracks.

As OS loads moved from floppy to HDD installs they bloated massively clearly attempting to fill all the space available with features and apps that would more than likely never get executed in the entire life of the device. Even with Internet access we still fill our local storage with unused bloat.

I still regret ever getting rid of my Acorn - Still one of the best machines I have ever used and programmed.

Here lies /^v.+b$/i

John Tappin

how about

how about a simple

ECHO "Life"

or for a more limited audience

BEGSR life

EVAL life = false



My last try

Throw New LifeNotFoundException("[pulse not found]", e)

HTC sues Apple in the UK

John Tappin

career choice

perhaps patent litigation is the new career of choice. With all the corps suing each other for patents of dubious merit instead of developing products there will be a never ending flow of money into law.

Hope the lawyers dont book 6 minute meetings or IBM will sue them for that too...

Heat sink breakthrough threatens ventblockers

John Tappin

Fried Mice

The benefit of a heatsink is that you get a period of grace if the fan isn't working to shutdown. With this method the CPU would fry instantly in the event of an impeller fail. This may be OK for larger and (less time critical) failures in air-conditioning etc but I think the metal block on the CPU is here for a while. its a lot cheaper to replace a heatsink fan than a CPU!

Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

John Tappin

It did say cultural events...

they probably could do that on the back of an old envelope...

Microsoft becoming Apple with Windows 8 control freakery?

John Tappin

Tied platforms will simply make things very expensive

Each device instead of being generic will be hand-crafted to the OS running, sell a small number due to demand or version +1changes

All we need now is to finish tying them down to networks then everyone will be able to say their device is unique whilst breaking the hardware manufacturers freedom to innovate.

Google infringes copyright by displaying and linking to news site content

John Tappin

Surely this means ALL search engine results are in violation???

i cant understand how any search engine could remain in business without linking to content? surely this is the end of search as we know it google or otherwise.

Slack bank practice creates opportunity for phone phishing scams

John Tappin

same from inland revenue

They got quite shirty when I said I didn't know them from Adam and didnt want to provide DOB etc for them to check my identity - I told them I would call back.

Other half has also had calls claiming to be from NatWest Bank but in this case a clear case of attempted fraud (the phone number used was listed on internet as source of many scams)

I have also had similar issues in the past with a credit card company that always called other half while I was at work. After they called every day for a week and said that they could not accept assurances of what time i would be home from someone else I complained that they were engaged in nothing less than harrasment.

Banks are not the only organisation that have forgotten that trust is a two way street I am afraid.

I an not sure that common sense will not prevail on this one though.

Penguin chief: Linux patent and copyright FUD 'not relevant'

John Tappin

seems to me that...

patent law is bad for innovation and bad for small businesses. But good for lawyers and stifling competition by throwing barriers in front of other products.

Android/Linux etc are targetted because of the money involved perhaps thats becuase this is a product people want...

Apple sues Amazon over 'App Store' name

John Tappin

i dont belive it

IT magazine information age uses the term app store generically in the feb issue - perhaps they should be sued too..

Play.com spam points to malware downloads

John Tappin

GSN spam

I got the GSN spam but I have never registered with the site - its not so clear cut...

Copyright wally of the week

John Tappin

not even an acknoledgement to the great el reg?

There is a sort of respect for things that are copied and good enough to be followed, but simply being ripped and re-badged is a bit mean

Cloud computing, eBooks - no thanks (or not just yet)

John Tappin

Why on earth would you want an e-book?

I cannot understand the benefits at all - like the rest of the public!

With an e-book

I don't own a copy of the book.

If the reader breaks or goes out of date the books are lost.

I am reliant on other people granting me certificates etc to access content.

I rely on batteries/power supplies to read

Readers are bulky and expensive if just used as e-newspaper

You cant lend/sell/swap books with friends or charity shops etc

With paper

If I look after it it will last years

The publisher going bankrupt will not stop me from keeping the book

There is no advance of technology to cope with, migrating e-book formats and certifcates over time is impossible

I can carry a book anywhere

I can read without a power supply

I can borrow a book from a library

I like the principle of e-book readers and buying e-books - it uses less trees, I dont use a wall of my house with shelving etc etc. but the technology is all about contolling my access to things I have paid for while technology is making itself redundant all the time.

Imagine referring to your university text books from 20 years ago if they had been an e-book? Your reader would not even plug into a PC and would have needed a modem etc. !

DARPA seeking Genesis-style godware capability

John Tappin

Terminator 2 here we come

I hope they invent the processors and liquid metal. Self aware Killbots here we come