Posts by John I'm only dancing

Why the Apple-Samsung verdict is good for you, your kids and tech

Re: Think again

But James Dyson is an arse who moved all his manufacturing out of the UK to reduce the price of his goods, except they are still vastly overpriced. The increase is in the size of his profits.

UK's thirst for energy falls, yet prices rise: Now why is that?

Re: UK's thirst for energy falls, yet prices rise: Now why is that?

He also forgot that as demand falls, less raw material needs to be purchased, thus reducing that expenditure. Plus the price for said raw material is actually falling as demand falls, so why the price rise?

BOFH: Shove your project managementry up your mailbox!

Bullshit bingo

Management speak is why use one normal word when you can use a rare concoction of meaningless drivel which only appeals to other managers.

Re: Reminds me ..

Among the many pearls of wisdom from Chris Morris.. a true genius

BSkyB delights City with record profits: Broadband subs pass 4 million

Sky broadband is pants

Well it is in my area, they keep managing my line, squeezing the bandwidth to accommodate more subscribers and my service gets worse and worse, I am complaining to the so and so's every couple of months and they keep telling me it is a problem with my set up. Not true, it hasn't changed ever. Currently undergoing another session of re-profiling with Sky. Only two more months of the cheap deal and then they can pish off!!

How to screw LIBOR and alienate people

Truth

Is the truth and finance mutually exclusive. The financial genius's in Government at present are still peddling the lie that the UK's deficit was unsustainable to allow them to make their savage cuts. The reality is, the UK Government budget deficit under Labour fell as a percentage of GDP by FOUR percentage points from 1997 to 2008. It was only the Banking sector's greed which caused it to rise subsequently through QE.

Source: International Monetary Fund... For a brief summary see here: http://www.scoop.it/t/deficit-myth

Facebook App Center goes global

Crapware

Arse face strikes again, more crap than you can shake a stick at. It's about as secure as a Government laptop.

Apple makes Cocoa with Porridge

Re: Copyright?

it's not copyright infringement to use a genuine name...see here

http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/norman-stanley-fletcher/28/562/284

Facebook replaces non-Facebook mail addresses on Timeline

Re: Yet another email address

Or how to improve your sexual performance, enlarge your penis and god forbid, help you with all those PPI claims.

Microsoft set to 'do a Nexus' with its Surface tablet

Re: On the other hand

MS surface running Windows 8 is an Apple marketing ploy...contrast an compare, then dump MS offfering in nearest recycling bin

Google blocks MP3 rippers from YouTube

Re: Rip-offs

And Google (You Pube) never attempt to copyright grab material do they?

Universe has more hydrogen than we thought

Re: @sarev

or how about Bombay Penguin, I know, they haven't found a Penguin fish to curry, yet.

Met bobbies get CSI kit to probe perps' mobes

Re: Background app

I'm glad you spotted the quote marks...The music I download is only stuff I bought on vinyl many years ago and I cannot be bothered with converting it myself.

Re: I am probably going to be downvoted for this but...

I downvoted just for the hell of it....To be honest, I wouldn't let plod anywhere near anything more technical than their own 'walkie talkie' device (ie mobile phone).

Background app

I expect any serious crim will now be beaver away at developing an app that wipes said smartphone as soon as it is plugged into unrecognised computer or other device. Well that's what I'd do if I were criminally inclinedm which I'm not (apart from regularly downloading 'Linux' distros).

Pirate Bay struggling to get on feet after DDoS to the knee

Google

Those nice people kindly cache all the Pirate Bay pages so you can still access it.

Blackpool ICT boss: BYOD doesn't save money

Re: Why is Blackpool council wasting it's money send delegates to Infosec?

As someone who also has the misfortune of living on the Fylde coast, I fully understand where you're coming from. Thanks to BBC's 'supertrams', my journey time to Blackpool has drastically increased as so many traffic lights have been put in to allow these commuter trams to run at full speed (except when they come off the track because of sand).

What I do take exception to is you wondering what he is doing at a conference. Probably his job. Most of the wasteful spending you have described was signed off on by the previous administration and the current encumbents have been left with all the mess. You should considr yourself very lucky to live in Blackppol, it could be worse, you could come under Wyre Borough Council who take all the money out of where I live ( Rossall and Fleetwood) and spent in the heartland of their traditional voters (Poulton and Over Wyre).

Facebook wonk among 'digital' advisers to Cabinet Office

Francis Maude

Will probably tell everyone to stockpile gigabytes due to a forthcoming strike by silicon miners. That's just about how much he knows about everything

Matt Groening reveals location of Simpsons' Springfield

Re: Real humour

But those American Shows you quote were a very long time ago and are the exceptions. Generally speaking, they do like to flog a dead horse.

ps: I did love the Phil Silvers Show.

Real humour

Two of the best comedy series ever, ran to a massive 12 episodes each across two series.

I'm talking about Fawlty Towers and the Young Ones.

There is much more

Brass Eye: Six episodes

The Day Today: One series

The Fast Show: Three series

I can go on, but the one thing noticeable is they are all British. The trouble with Merkin shows is while they might be funny to start with, they have to flog the dead and buried horse, killing any fondness for the original humour.

Microsoft seals up Windows zero-day flaw in April Patch Tuesday

Re: Hmm . .

Et me brute....Two spam messages from my brother's hotmail account this morning, one sent at 1 in the morning, the other around three hours later, and he was definitely asleep

Tibetan activists' Macs targeted using trojan-laden MS Office files

Who'd have thunk it

Microsoft Word, buggy pile of [insert favourite expletive here], has an unpatched exploit dating back to 2009. Some might even suggest it is deliberate.

Apple products now found in half of all American dwellings

My sample

They are in 100 per cent of UK dwellings if the survey of my house is anything to go by...in fact, every house has at least eight. (Mac Pro, eMac, Power PC (original 6000), iPhone and four iPods). Market must be saturated now.

Public borrowing hike overshadows Osborne's tax breaks

Re: All in it together

Huge jump in personal allowance is from 2013 not next month and, of course, not forgetting the slashing of corporation tax and the reduction in the top rate of income tax to 45p in the pound above £150k.

All in it together

Except more are more in it than others. If we all had private trust funds providing us with an income in excess of £1million a year, like certain chancellors, then the budget would make sense. The harsh reality for 99 per cent of the country is we pay, they get fat.

Giant planet pileups in far-flung star systems: Computer says yes

Wow

"Here on the Reg farflung-planets-glimpsed-across-the-vasty-gulfs-of-interstellar-space desk"

I didn't realise El Reg had so many fields of expertise.

Kim Dotcom seizures 'null and void'

World Police

F*ck Yea....Team America strikes again.

1,600 pubs and bars to get free Wi-Fi

M&B

Used to be a very big brewer in Birmingham, made a decent beer, unlike Ansells, which came second in a beer contest to Severn Trent.

And regarding 02, my son has to come out of his bedroom to get any signal for his iPhone..ludicrous.

Jupiter and Venus get cozy in revealing late-night display

Standard planetary joke

But can see Uranus?

Walking through MIME fields: Snubbing Steve Jobs to Star Trek tech

Re: Does any intelligent person see jobs as a God/Guru?

No they don't, but they might see you as an imbecile. Quick Time for one.

Renault Mégane 265 Trophy 2.0 turbo

Not forgetting

The ever-unreliable Renault (or is it Peugeot) turbo....will probably blow up in not time at all.

Paper plane world record disputed

Re: How quaint

Scotch tape is also a TM...would have been much better saying sticky tape in the style of Blue Peter.

Hey Commentard! - or is that Commenter?

Turdspurter

From the verb - 'Turdspurt'

Cameras roll on 'blockbuster' new Who series

Re: "some familiar foes as you've never seen them before"

Or Daleks in drag...sorry haven't they've done that already?

Hey Commentards! This pre-populated 'reply to' is for you

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: your boat

gently across the moat, meh,meh, meh, meh, meh,meh, meh, meh, merrilly merrily, hope it stays afloat!!

Microsoft probes IE8 dll AWOL hell

Flawed logic

In that case, there should be a FF8, followed by FF13.

BOFH: The Cloud Committee Calamity

Dallas

Don't these people bemoaning the lack of creativity realise that the PFY has just stepped out the shower and what passed in the last few years was all a dream?

Apple's new TV allegedly spotted... in Canadian office

Ahh..Spiggy

"I'm a hot-rodded swinging perv, I'm a hot-rodded swinging perv, yeah yeah yea"

Hop he's in his gold-lame knickers.

Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Bankers

"Let's hope the Russians also plan to check whether their scientists have been taken over by parasitic lifeforms"

We'll only know that is the case if they start talking about bonuses and how hard done by they are.

Scientists weave battery into clothing

Dry clean only?

The post is required, and must contain letters.

Facebook IPO: Boom or bubble?

Alchemist

Looks like they might actually achieve turning manure into gold...well lining Suckerbug's pockets anyway.

Android users more likely to put out

Being pedantic, no you can't

They only quote percentages.. 55% is greater than 50% when the total is equal, but 55% of 100 users is less than 50% of 1,000.

Google spews out 'privacy' email to Sky punters too

All data is ours

The other evil empire gets more evil.

Shatner faces final frontier as Priceline.com spokesman

@BorkedAgain.

For our merkin cousins, love the Roger Melly 'Profanisaurus' quote.

Potent proton pulse to BOMBARD EARTH Tuesday morn

No

With more delta V in the direction you are travelling, you get acceleration, more delta V in the opposite direction provides deceleration. Have none of you ever resolved forces?

Microsoft blames poor Windows sales on PC slump

Kodak

So when is the computing dinosaur going to do the decent thing and go the way of Kodak?

Hospital gopher fined for prying into ex's family records

Like the police?

Usually on their way to the nearest takeaway. Well it is an emergency.

Apple legal threat to Steve Jobs doll deemed 'bogus'

Nice reference

That's why I've upvoted you Graham....Would have given two thumbs up if you'd mentioned "The Creeping Terror" as well.

Man convicted of murder gets retrial after virus eats transcripts

And so can paper

With important stuff, double or even triple redundancy should be the minimum requirement.

KIBOSH 'non lethal' sticky-bomb hits a car, fills it with gas

No need for mitigation

Just cover you car in oil and nothing will stick.