* Posts by Version 1.0

5416 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

Barclays online banking falls over in outage riddle

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coincidence?

I noticed that gnucash.org was offline yesterday too ... could this be just a coincidence?

'Dated and cheesy' Aero ripped from Windows 8

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WTF?

Dated and Cheesy

Nope - it was that when it was released ... seriously - does anyone think that metro is going to make inroads into the main commercial installed base?

The UI is getting to be really stupid for many applications - I was watching the teller at my bank entering a deposit last week ... keyboard, mouse, keyboard, mouse, keyboard, mouse, cashdraw, mouse, keyboard, mouse .... print receipt ... duh!

Virgin straps on phone masts for the flying upper classes

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Happy

No worries mate.

It's a satellite link - which means a round trip delay of about 500ms in the call - which if I remember correctly from the 70's when most of my transatlantic calls were via satellite links - is just long enough to make a long conversation miserable. And that's before you have a couple of drinks....

I did try the Lufthansa satellite data link when they were running that and while it was acceptable for browsing, checking your mail via IMAP was so slow (I assume due to the link delay) that it was mostly unusable.

Indian callers could see bills DOUBLE after spectrum auction chaos

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Buy a New one

I think that's the general idea.

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Happy

Standard Practice

They can just line item the bill:

Cellular Service ............. 59.00

Government Tax ............ 28.63

Local Tax ......................... 18.53

Kickback ......................... 34.92

Service Fee .................... 9.63

Convenience Fee ......... 3.62

Apple blocking Dropbox SDK over in-app buying

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Happy

China syndrome

It's just a matter of time before Apple redirect all traffic through their own firewall to eliminate this type of scurrilous behavior on the part of their users.

GCSE, A-level science exams ARE dumbed down - watchdog

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Happy

Re: Grade Inflation

After some reflection I've decided to update my LinkedIn profile to indicate that I have degrees in both Math and Art (my two "A" levels) and 8 modern "A" levels (my "O" level passes).

This seems only fair.

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Who gets the job interview?

My standard interview is very simple - I chat with them, ask them what they've read recently and what they thought about it - then I give them a simple two chip analogue schematic from one of our products and ask them to tell me how it works... it's basically the same interview technique that I received when I applied for (and got) a job at Dolby Labs in the early 70's testing Dolby "A" modules.

Almost every single applicant fails.

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Happy

Grade Inflation

So I guess my couple of "A"s from the early 70's are now A+++++++++++++ results?

Facebook button triggers tidal wave of human organs

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Joke

Maybe they can combine it with Facebook recipes?

Steak and kidney pie, Liver and onions? I'd +1 that ...

opps

Google Street View Wi-Fi data slurper named

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Stupid Stupid Stupid

The NSA does this kind of crap all the time and nobody seems to care one way or the other.

Freed Facebook hack Brit vents fury at $200k cleanup claim

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Cleanup costs

Cleanup costs are almost always exaggerated - you can't prosecute someone successfully if you have to admit that they gained access due to a dumb coding error or stupid server permission that took all of ten minutes to fix ...

So you add in the costs of the backups, the maintenance, the fact that the backup restore didn't work so you had to rebuild the server, and the costs to review your code to "check" that other security issues had not been uncovered ... and then you call in the security consultant and charge that cost to them too .... and finally send the bill to the insurance company. If you've padded it enough then you may even make money! Getting hacked can be a profit center.

Ted Nugent fined for failing to kill bear

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Happy

Re: Wango Tango

That was then - this is now ... I don't care what his amps go to but I doubt that his tool goes beyond 4.

LinkedIn edges closer to China with new Hong Kong gaff

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Happy

Re: SpammedIn

I've been on LinkedIn for a long time and it was once quite useful but recently I've started getting "invitations" for people that I've never heard of and don't know ... I've started to think of LinkedIn as a swingers party that the London Marathon is running through - not nearly as much fun as it was when it started.

Tunbridge Wells' car park bonking offered new NFC logo

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Joke

News to me

I thought NFC stood for No F*cking Chance ... but maybe I'm old school.

On the other hand - I *love* Standards ... we need more of them... and them maybe one of them will catch on ... yes, I have an NFC phone ... but of course, it's NFC that it works anywhere!

El Reg posts dirty pics for old computer buffs

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Happy

Too Easy?

That was my first thought but reading the comments here, it's clear that some readers are genuinely puzzled - now, how about we all dig out some stuff from the garage, take some pictures and send then to Chris so that we can really have a difficult quiz?

Nokia drops Lumia 900 price to $0 in response to bug outrage

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The Singer not the Song

Samsung make a fine phone for Google - the Nexus S is a little beauty. Are you sure it's the Samsung phone and not all the little "extras" that your carrier has added (God bless their little cotton socks).

AT&T to allow unlocking of out-of-contract iPhones

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Phony Economics

I have an unlocked phone - paid full price for it originally - that costs me $50/month via T-Mobile. The phone cost me $500 originally (Nexus S) and the 2 year contract plan wanted $110/month to give me a "free" phone. So my "free" phone would actually cost me $1440!

There's no reason to ever buy a contract/locked phone - unless you want to throw money at the phone company for some reason.

Windows 3.1 rebooted: Microsoft's DOS destroyer turns 20

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FAIL

Fsck Word

I'll use Word if I have to but when you compare it to what WordPerfect can do, Word is a really crappy word processor - more like a mincing machine than a word processor. It was a stinking pile of shite then and it still is - a monument to programmers who had to look up kerning in a book and then implemented it while playing Solitaire in the background.

WordPerfect isn't "perfect" by a long way - but it's a tool several orders of magnitude better than Word.

Viacom's anti-Google copyright case rises from the dead

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Happy

East Texas missed out on this one!

"a reasonable jury could find that YouTube had actual knowledge or awareness of specific infringing activity on its website." ... that would be an East Texas jury I guess?

The DMCA requires take down when notified - and given that there seems little doubt the Viacom et al were uploading a goodly number of videos this is going to be a tough sell long term to show that YouTube "should have known" that the crap they were getting was illegal.

It's YouTube for crying out loud - the biggest repository of dung since the Dinosaurs died off.

Watchdog sniffs David Beckham's wedding tackle

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Joke

Spinal Tap moment?

What's he got there - a cucumber covered in aluminum foil?

Star's guts turned INSIDE OUT in supernova mega-blast

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Happy

Re: Anything else I should try to avoid?

Always wear gloves when you go to the loo after eating crawfish.

O2 Wi-Fi slips into McDonalds, steals The Cloud's lunch

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Happy

All for one and one for all

I discovered a while back that T-Mobile block access to fanfiction.net in the USA on the grounds that it's not family friendly ... my 13-year old needed access to that site so now she has access to everything.

Yea - filtering, I've heard of it.

Cable-cutting rogue engineer caused ultra fast broadband havoc

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Unhappy

1Gbps?

Here in the Good Ol' USA I pay $200/month for 1.5Mbs from Cox ... ain't technology wonderful!

China purges coup rumours from social media

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Happy

It must be true

I thought this was just another on-line rumor until they started denying it. I wonder if this latest purge will result in more organs becoming available on the international transplant markets?

China's budget handset makers facing mass cull

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Holmes

Eventually it all falls down

The writings been there for a long time - when I was in Beijing about 5 years ago I bought a few of their consumer products from the market stores for research. After returning home and stripping them down it was clear that they were heading for disaster because the quality of the workmanship was terrible and eventually the user is going to notice that the USB stick that tells the operating system that it's got 4Gb of storage can't actually store more than 512kB of data.

I'm still unconvinced that China is going to survive in the long term once the countryside starts to want what the cities have.

Top Italian OPERA boffin steps down after faster-than-light mistake

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Joke

On the brigt side

I agree that it's not good but at least the Italians for once again made the Neutrinos run on time.

Goldman Sachs in email muppet hunt

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I didn't believe it

Until they denied it - now I know that it must be true.

Force Google to black out searches in new privacy law - MPs

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Facepalm

This could be made to work

My name is David Cameron (no relation) and I would like Google to remove all reference to my name to preserve my privacy.

Stupid is as stupid does (can I still say "stupid"? it is still PC?).

Cameron's 'Google Review' sparked by killer quote that never was

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Happy

The sentiment is accurate

I started my own company in the USA - it's not a big one but we have a nice market share and I have to agree with the feeling that the "quote" expresses. There's no way that I could have started my company in the UK (where I lived for 25 years) - but it's got nothing to do with IP ...

1. UK banks are generally uninterested in lending money to start-up companies.

2. The UK has a maze of regulations that you have to comply with to start a company.

3. If you need tech people - engineers, designers etc - they are simply not generally available.

I could go on ...

Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury

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Happy

Great fanbois comments on the apple blog!

"... if I were a designer I would program it to run hot for the 1st couple cycles to bed the chip in ..."

BTW, I checked and there's a low pitched hum coming from Steve's grave...

Now CHINA complains of surge in cyber-attacks

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Happy

drop all

I stopped logging incoming packets a long time ago - I just drop them all unless it's a port I need. I really see no point in day to day inspection of the contents of the sewer.

As far as the Chinese attack numbers go - I doubt that they are any different from other governmental organizations and are probably missing a whole bunch of attacks - if anything their numbers look low to me.

Lightsquared cries dyslexic Havoc, unleashes 'gods of law'

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Happy

I'm still baffled

How did LightSquared get this plan up and running in the first place - even a moments thought by any competent engineer would suggest that there could be some big problems with the implementation. I guess they just started off with a good business plan and ran it from there.

After all why let reality interfere (sic) when you've got a business plan that the money likes?

LYING iPhone 4S mobes claim 4G connection on 3G network

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Re: I'm going to write "9G" on my Huawei dongle tonight.

Mine goes to 11.

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Re: 4G

> 100Mbs wireless connection while on the go, and 1Gbs while stationary.

That should be 100mbs - milli-bits ... because no matter what they say, that's the real speed you'll actually get.

MYSTERY programming language found in Duqu

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Not FORTRAN or COBOL then?

Realistically, given the likely provenance of these babies, if I was running the project then the first thing I'd do would be write a language specifically for them ... after all, if it's a government project then money isn't going to be a big issue. And a virus^H^H^H^H^H payload specific language would offer significant advantages.

Mammoths, sabre-tooths MURDERED by second giant space boulder

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Coat

We're next

First they came for the Dinosaurs ... and we did nothing,

Then they came for the Mammoths ... and we did nothing,

I guess we're next ... I'll just finish my drink and then get my coat.

Metro breakdown! Windows 8 UI is little gain for lots of pain

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Happy

Nice GUI, but how do you get any work done?

Used to be that you booted the computer up, logged in and started work ... looks like those days are long behind us now.

Thanks for the first decent review of METRO that I've seen.

Microsoft's Azure cloud down and out for 8 hours

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Pint

Sooner or later

All clouds die ... all software crashes ... and hardware fails. It's just the way things are so quit bitching about it and go down the pub and have a beer, play scrabble, chat up the girl in the cubicle next to you, go out to lunch.

Chances are it will be back up again soon and then you can get back to work - enjoy the moment.

NASA sniffs little black hole's 20-million-MPH wind

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Facepalm

Re: ...winds from a black hole... hot gas...

I wonder if NASA releases some of these bulletins just to see what kind of "butt" joke El Reg will come up with? Did El Reg poach all of the headline writers from Viz?

Researchers propose ‘overclock’ scheme for mobiles

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Coat

Re: Flawed premise

Exactly! - the answer of course is to use smaller electrons! I always keep a battery in the 'fridge for long phone calls and have found remarkable increases in phone life when using the thermally smaller electrons.

I've been selling these "ultra-cold" batteries on the Internet for a while - and making a tidy packet from them ...

'Predictably random' public keys can be cracked - crypto boffins

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FAIL

Re: Cheap solution

Pretty typical - and unfortunately it's probably not nearly as random as you think. People love to come up with these pseudo-random seed ideas but virtually never actually sit down and test their method to check their values approximate to "random"

Of course - a lot depends on what you need the random number for - in many cases "good enough" is actually fine for the original design needs - and then someone reuses the function later on for an application that it's actually worth someones while to break.

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FAIL

Let's go back 60 years ...

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin." - John Von Neumann, 1951

It's not a new problem ... about the first thing I was taught in statistics ("A" level when that actually meant something) was that the term is pseudo-random numbers ... calling them "random" was a guarantee of the imminent meeting of a chalk board eraser and my head.

Sensitive council data sent to hundreds via PERSONAL EMAIL

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WTF?

Re: Re: AGAIN?

Yes - AGAIN ... because there are no real penalties for it ... Oh sure - you can fine someone, somewhere but that's about it - they've no real incentive to not do it again and the cow orkers just shrug - no lessons learned and really why should they bother?

On the other hand, hack the system and send out the same email and you're looking at personal fines on the individual and jail time.

LibreOffice debugs and buffs up to v.3.5

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Angel

Still waiting

I'm still waiting for a replacement for Outlook - sure there are other mail clients out there but nothing that I've seen so far that supports all the non-mailing features of Outlook, tasks, contacts, notes and calendar in an office/exchange way.

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I picked up my 14 year-old daughters laptop the other day to check that she'd got the OS updates installed (win-7) and found that she's dumped Office entirely and installed LibreOffice - damn I'm proud of her!

Child abuse files stolen from council worker in PUB - £100k fine

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WTF?

Working from Home?

WTF was this information doing floating around outside the office anyway ... lost in the pub?

Where's the stocks when you need them ...

Doctors sick of anonymous-coward NHS feedback commentards

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Thumb Down

percent responsible?

Why don't you thrown in a few percent for the ISP too ... by your logic they facilitated the whole exchange and surely have some degree of responsibility too

Hollywood gathers to pick over Limewire’s corpse

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Pint

And the commetards too!

Oh wait ... maybe we should think about this before we top everybody...

No, on second thoughts, carry on...

'We're totally in LA pissing people off'

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Headmaster

Pissed off in LA

L.A. is the abbreviation for the city of Los Angeles, CA - see it's like two words and we add a two letter abbreviation to indicate the state. LA is the abbreviation for the state of Louisiana.

Kindly take note.