Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

HP won't squeeze itself into 3D printer consumer market

I remember when HP said their 3D printer was going to print in metal at a cost comparable to the then current plastic printers.

Teradata's moon-on-a-stick approach: Floats on AWS and Microsoft Azure

"moon-on-a-stick" so it is made of cheese. Is there a lump of pineapple on the dark side, pieced by a large stick?

US Treasury: How did ISIS get your trucks? Toyota: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've got a few diesel veedub's they can have. I expect their MOT is a bit lax over there at the moment.

Shuttle bus firm Terravision belatedly adopts https for credit card sales

Re: It's bad enough we have to suffer El Reg with 10 foot tall graphics filling the screen....

Ironic that you think ticking the Anonymous box will hide you from the el Reg ironic police.

I think I should start up a coach service, all I need are members of the public with their own coaches and a website to take peoples money. I think I'll call it UKer, because it's in the UK and , er.

Join Uber in a tale of rent seeking and employment law

Re: One network?

Really? Never had a business credit card then? If I get a black cab in London (from Gatwick, railway station or from the street), I don't pay them, the company credit card does. Therefore the taxicab's customer is the company not me. I might have hailed them but so do Uber punters, abet by phone/computer rather than waving a hand in the air.

PS I don't like Uber, but then I find black cabs are a rip off as well. Rock, hard place, me in the middle.

Apollo 15 commander's lunar timepiece goes under the hammer

Do we get a certificate of authenticity that it really was on the moon? Legally binding and all that?

Re: Tip of the hat to old school

Urban myth - NASA did use pencils in the lunar missions. According to Neil Armstrong anyway.

Hillary 'spear fish' more 'drag net' flung to 11,000 others in one day

The other 11,000 were smoke screens to hide the fact that some Russian evil mastermind targetted her from his sub-volcanic lair. Mwhahaha

Swedish govt appeals court decision guarding thepiratebay.se domain

"Probably like Swiss cheese." - in other words it stinks (boom boom)

'ALIEN INVADERS OBSERVED': OFFICIAL ESA announcement

Way to publishise my arrival....

AD-NNIHILATION: Apple-approved iOS tool blocks ALL ads in apps, Safari, Apple News

So, they obviously will be running ALL internet traffic through their servers. Someone had better warn celebs that those p0rn pix they're uploading to iCloud have just be swiped (possibly/maybe/certainly).

Surface Book: Microsoft to turn unsuccessful tab into unsuccessful laptop

If it can run Linux, then Android is more than likely doable. Who'd that please more, the Big M or the Big G?

Safe harbour ruling: RELAX, Facebook and Google will be FINE!

Re: All of that is half of the fun

They already have that right - in their eyes anyway. GCHQ can take what they want (as does the Germans and soon the French), swap it for some Predator drones and everyone is happy !!!!

So, all the data the USA companies have already got their greedy sweaty mitts on, are they going to delete it or carry on peddling it to spamvertisment companies?

Phone thieves to face harsher penalties for data theft

And under 18 year olds get away scott free? Whatever happened to the short,sharp shock attitude?

Miss Brittany dethroned for posting 'nude' Facebook pics

Sacre bloopers

'One Windows' crunch time: Microsoft tempts with glittery new devices

Trouble is, no one trusts Microsoft with hardware. If it's not an immediate money spinner, Microsoft is happy to just kill their product and goodbye support.

Google and Apple do software *and* hardware and are in it for the long term.

Terror in the Chernobyl dead zone: Life - of a wild kind - burgeons

Wildlife friendly - apart from the wolves mutating into werewolves. The local vampire bats, well, you know the rest.

Rights groups: Darn you Facebook with your 'government names'

Hide your real name on the internet? Who would do something like that?

GCHQ's exploding doughnut threatens to ooze into innocent field

Build underground - then people can't take photos of your existing carparks.

French hacks go after new surveillance law … with the help of the ECHR

Spying on people outside their national borders? Are they trying to get into 5 eyes (le cinq squints)?

GCHQ's SMURF ARMY can hack smartphones, says Snowden. Again.

When I was playing with SMS/MMS a few years ago (at a telco/SMSC level), I was setting the flag to do invisible texts. Worked on all phones (back then it was built into the standards). I also did 'instant pop-up' SMSes which didn't need any interaction with users and didn't get saved in the history.

The only phones these didn't work on was Nokia running Symbian OS - conspiracy theorists can ponder on how they were brought by an American company then effect;y closed down.

Chocolate Factory plops Marshmallow on Android slabs

Yep, it lost 2% overnight and now reckons it'll last 3 days (still woefully below the 14+ days AOSP lollipop claimed if I didn't actually use the phone as, well, a phone)

Battery life now sucks on my Nexus 5, 83% and it reckons 3 hours left. So I'm downloading the AOSP so I don't have the Google bloatware draining the battery, even when wifi is off.

Unimpressed so far (2 hours in to marshmallow)

Fast, wireless access to Tor? Just maybe

Premiun model, private bridges. There goes my security and privacy. NSA subscribes, finds all the end nodes and taps into them. I'll stick to my Tor browser when I need privacy.

Scary Trans-Pacific Partnership trade treaty signed off

If the wordings secret, who in each country is going to sign it off? I doubt Pres. Obama has read every word so is he going on blind faith that someone in the USA has read it fully or is it some junior lackey who's job is to be the fall guy if it goes tits up?

iOS malware YiSpecter: iPhones menaced by software nasty

Pity these private APIs weren't openly published. I'm sure there are a lot of legit programmers who would like to sell their app without paying AppleTax.

Microsoft's big Tuesday reveal: New mobiles and slabs? Win 10 shock?

Going to a Microsoft do but not Apple's? I don't feel the love for iThings here :-)

Guess who owns Netflix.news and Netflix.website – clue: definitely not Netflix

Takes the same amount of work but one costs twice the other and takes twice as long. This is why these lawyers should be on a fixed fee and work in rota. Fairer to everyone except some of the lawyers bank accounts.

Lawyers win big in LinkedIn's $13m email spam lawsuit (you might get $10, maybe more)

Well I signed up thinking it would be more professional than FarceBork but no, friends of friends want to be my buddy. And I get multiple emails from LinkedIn saying 'be his/her friend pleeeease'.

Nope.

Ex-CEO of Twitter Jack Dorsey is new CEO of Twitter Jack Dorsey

Someone mention bad penny?

Japan begins mega-rollout of 100 million+ national IDs

How can entering a 12 digit number to an employees database record be massively inconveniant?

The fun fact however is they want everyone to be part of one system but will hold the data all over the place. Can't see that being open for abuse or incompetence by the data holders.

US tries one last time to sway EU court on data-slurping deal

Can't see how data blocking will cripple US/EU trade. If I run a company importing US sprigots, zero personal data is transferred.

It might impact Farcebork, Googlie etc. but that's no loss.

Re: What about all those SWIFT Transfers, and banks like HSBC who keep their WORLD data in the USA?

Really? When I worked for them (a few years ago now), all their data was in mega fortress-warehouses in the north of England. Legal requirement or something.

Rise of der Maschinen: Daimler trials ROBOT LORRY in Germany

So whose going to pick up hikers?

Or if I was Jeremy Clarkson, whose going to kill the prostitutes?

Beard transplants up 600% for men 'lacking length elsewhere'

Re: Correlation thingy

I was going to say it explains ISIS terrorists (according to Boris anyway).

'Can you hear me now? Oh Peeple, you're so mean *sad face*. It's a leftist agenda!'

Nothing about Ronnie Barker? And I would have thought something about Putin's piracy, er anti-piracy, crusade would have been worthy of a mention.

Google spews out Alphabet. Alphabet gobbles Google

Brin and Page the new Musk's?

Pluto's moon SPLIT OPEN by ancient FROZEN OCEAN

Giant space clam

Russia vows to shame big biz that advertises on pirate sites, and save the internet

After '"Don't call me baby", I always wondered what Madison Avenue was doing nowadays.

Only a CNUT would hold back the waves of the sharing economy

Re: Repeated Typo!

Er, because 95% of the fee goes to them and since they are offshore they pay no tax. Small amounts soon add up, that's what Apple does on it's store.

Re: You can buy a chainsaw for that.

It comes in frustion free packaging because otherwise I'd need to hire a chainsaw to get it out.

Moon miners book Kiwi rockets for 2017 lunar landing

That's going to ruin new Hobbit movies, having rockets firing off in the background.

T-Mobile US hires someone other than bungling Experian to offer ID theft monitoring to hack victims

Here's a question for the American readers - who is picking up the tab for credit protection ? T-Mobile because it's their customers (or potential customers) or Experian who actual lost the data? And who then would the Data Protection authorities be going after?

Aircon biz fined $1.3m after boss set up attack websites slamming critical punters

Sounds to me like he'll be starting a plumbing business soon. Heaven help his customers if he also does their electricity wiring.

Five million people exposed in Scottrade brokerage hack

Why did the Feds take 2 years to notice? Did some of them get penny stock spam and found it wasn't legit?

Has somebody shared your 'anonymised' health data? Bad news

Isn't the main worry that dead South Korean's are still getting drugs?

So, what's happening with LOHAN? Sweet FAA, that's what

French Guiana or, controversially, Russia since Putin's planes are currently bombing Syria, they won't be there to shoot down balloons. I also believe that any paperwork needed is officially called 'rubles'.

I was GOOGLE for a MINUTE, claims quick-witted dude

Microsoft did the same a few years ago so not a first.

Also, I've a few domain names myself and one thing is once you buy one, it's then locked for a month and can't be transferred. How did Google get it back without breaking ICANN rules?

Also, for historic reference (requires signing up for a free trial so can't be bothered)...

http://research.domaintools.com/research/whois-history/search/?q=google.com