Posts by Giddy Kipper

High tech toilets receive big prizes from Bill Gates

Toilet Humour

"Showered with gold".

Heh. I see what you did there.

Major London problem hits BT broadband across southeast

Re: Forget the broadband, BT please fix the grammar

>>>> surronding <<<<

Satnav blunders blamed for £200m damages

Re: No kidding?

You're old-fashioned.

But really. A minute *behind* the vehicle? Surely you would have shot straight past Sainsburys by then and possibly ended up in the nether regions of Matalan. Have you ever tried a journey of more than 180 seconds from your house using the new fangled technology?

Swiss space-cleaning bot grabs flying junk, hurls itself into furnace

Aren't there valuable metals up there?

'Cos I seem to remember the Swiss doing this before. About 70 years ago. Bits of gold wasn't it ...

Boffins find prehistoric croc species with 'mate-attracting' skin helmet

'mate-attracting' skin helmet

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

Google to join Wednesday's anti-SOPA protest

Yes indeed

NoScript seems to address the wiki blackout just fine.

That'll show 'em.

*sigh*

We need IT to stop NHS flushing away cash - ex-Health Sec

There's your problem ...

"you have got to integrate what you are doing with your internal systems, so your Oracle accounting system, your SAP system. There's a lot of internal integration and interoperability required"

... right there.

Drama as Thai frogmen struggle to save world PC market

@MrCheese

You appear, yet again, to be reading/commenting in the wrong publication. This fine journal, in the main, reports on matters relating to IT and the issues affected by such.

You will find there is much other reporting going on which would suit as a vehicle for your brainspurts.

Perhaps if you started here; http://goo.gl/I3f1u and left the rest of us to ponder our HDD supply chain quandary.

Thx.

The Great Smartphone OS Shoot-out

I can't believe ...

... you actually posted that.

Motorola sharpens smartphones with revamped Razr

Erm. Peter.

MATERIALS: SUPER STRONG, NOT SUPER SIZED

Thin no longer equals frail. We made the MOTOROLA RAZR with KEVLAR® fibre, while Corning® Gorilla® Glass helps the screen stand up to the scratches and scrapes that are bound to happen. Spilt coffee? Caught in the rain? No problem. This phone is protected with a splash-guard coating — even the electrical boards inside.

Please. Just try a little harder.

DeLorean goes electric for 2013 roll-out

@ShadowTD

Nice first post, I'm sure all the 'morons' here appreciated it.

Film studios thrash BT in Newzbin site-block test case

proxydust.com

That is all.

Space scope spies soggy, stupendous Saturnian doughnut

Incontinent moon squirts wetly onto ringed giant

If only that had been 'Incontinent moon squirts wetly onto giant ring', I might have then lost not only my keyboard but my mouse too.

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Adieu Sarah

Bon voyage.

Apple pulls app after dev publishes users' PINs

5863 ...

Does not spell 'love'. 'June' perhaps. Methinks you ment 5683.

BBC Freesat tech switch zaps HD channels from 'old' boxes

From SatCure.com

On some Panasonic Freesat TVs, Auto retune does not get the updated

BBC HD channels. You have to set the TV to shipping condition then

switch off then switch on. After retune, the two BBC HD channels appear.

(Thanks to John Beniston for pointing this out.)

If you have any other kind of satellite receiver, you will need to

check that it is capable of receiving a DVB-S2 signal. If it can,

then you can use the following parameters to tune manually into the

services carried:

Satellite: Astra 2D tp.50

Frequency: 10,847MHz (vertical polarity)

Modulation: DVB-S2, QPSK

Symbol Rate: 23.0

FEC: 8/9

(Thanks to Denis Martindale for digging out this info.)

Apple ignores dozens of iCloud domains

@Turtle

Even better; http://bit.ly/kpI1Kh

@Turtle

http://tinyurl.com/429cpj7

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

What amused me ...

... is the fact that the scientist who first discovered this lovely product whilst working for the brewery around 1900 is the great grandfather of a relative of mine.

He was Danish.

HTC's UK repair centre suffering long delays, confusion

Bill, don't you mean ...

... Google got it horribly wrong in trying to provide support for the Nexus One

EXPLODING MELONS terrify Chinese

Exploding melons

Juicy fruits going bang, fingered, engorge and trousering in one story. Nice.

Facebook fails webmail tests

Even easier

http://tinyurl.com/2em2pby

Google unleashes (another) Facebook knock-off

so it has restored to building its own Facebook facsimile

What?

Wi-Fi security befuddles clueless home users

5 seconds to configure

And you want to charge your mates/acquaintances for this period of effort?

Average Brit has three mysterious keys

Lookout Bill ...

This sort of thing attracts the ire of Sarah Davis! (See dumb Brits and TARDIS etc.)

Acer shows laptop lid look tablet

I'm sorry?

Google Sky Map? Uses the camera? Clever how it works in pitch darkness then ...

Don’t Look Now hailed top Brit movie

@Disgruntled yank

See here; http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041959/

There's a 'UK' next to the date.

Tsk.

AMD gooses graphics, specs first CPU/GPU mashups

@Robert E A Harvey

Robert dear boy, the picture you have quoted from the Mail is not a depiction of goosing which is a pinch of the buttock.

What appears to be going on is something which goes by many names - a Tony Bologna being one of them.

LG whips out dual-core Android smartphone

Is it just me ...

... or does that phone look bloody enormous? Or maybe those girlies have really small hands.

iPad apps: the 10 smartest and 10 stupidest

Find your fanny?

*juvenile comment goes here*

Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

Wobblesome

Oh yes ...

PARIS joins the 17-mile-high club

Awesome

'nuff said

Firefox 4 Android beta gets stomach stapled

Slimmer version?

To quote;

"Installation requires approximately 32MB internal storage, plus 12MB SD storage."

Duh.

Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

Bravo Team Reg.

That is all.

Iran boasts of Stuxnet 'nuclear spies' arrests

@ amanfromMars 1

Given your bollocks generator has not improved syntactically, grammatically nor in content reference or applicability for some time now, perhaps you could refrain from posting your inanities until your planet-sized brain has made some fundaMental modifications to the Dragon-32 (C42) based software you are utilising.

Either that or just go and scare the Mail readers.

That is all.

Thx.

Keene USB FM Transmitter

the missus can twiddle her trusty Bush

Made my morning. That is all.

Facebook follows papal line on censorship

Pictures Sara ...

... or it didn't happen.

Nikon points D7000 camera at high-end enthusiasts

@IMG

"We shall post a review soon enough, but for now, here's a run down of the spec."

*sigh*

Pliant does MLC flash

Huh?

What is this 'MB' of which you speak?

AOL goes soul-searching with Google in 5-year deal

*sigh*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashton-Tate

Google finally pulls Gmail contacts tool into line

@jmal555

It's one additional click to activate the drop-down menu.

Not much of downgrade really now is it?

Bound robbery victim IMs for help with toes

@Colin Miller

Jeez Colin. It's Friday, it's light hearted (except for the woman involved perhaps). Are you a permanent pedant? Bet you're the life and soul at the Christmas fuddle ...

Tsk.

I've seen this sort of thing before

But it was from the webcam's point of view.

Excuse me, I just need to pop upstairs for a mo'.

Panasonic DMR-XW380 Freeview HD DVR

Err

*How* fucking much??

That is all.

Cotswold police stage panty ID parade

...residents to come forward and finger their bras and knickers

*headdesk*

That is all.

Fanbois love sex toys: Official

Now *that* ...

... made me laugh out loud. I almost had a little toilet moment.

There are so many replies bursting out of my head at the moment that I shall have to sit in a darkened room to collect my thoughts and then I may manage to post something of (dubious) value.

Anal ytics - gotta love 'em.

Fake IBM playboy pleads guilty

I emailed the Telegraph ...

... in disbelief, and Andrew Hough replied;

Hello,

Thanks for your email.

Yes as unbelievable as it sounds, that is what his lawyer told the court yesterday. £20k in 3 months?

Cheers

Andrew

So c'mon you lot, bollox to IT, we've got shit to shovel!

Romford coppers try to stopper young snapper

Deja what?

http://www.met.police.uk/about/photography.htm

*sigh*

Naked Cowboy wrestles Naked Cowgirl

Oh. Shit.

Thanks for the link. Now I feel unwell.

Bastards.

Antarctic glacier melt maybe 'not due to climate change'

@Steve Murphy

Judging by your reply one could suggest you've been reading the Sun far too much ...