Posts by Sorry that handle is already taken.

Oz greenies rattle politico cage with robocalls

Spam

When John Howard did it during the 2004 election campaign, The Chaser dumped a wheelbarrow load of Spam on his campaign office's doorstep.

Uhh

".. Why the *&%$ are people in Aus worrying about "climate change" when this *&%$ing internet filter is still going to go ahead???"

Non-sequitur in aisle five, aisle five.

Not Labour.

Can The Register get this right one day? It's the Australian Labor Party.

Turkish groom accidentally sprays wedding guests with bullets

RPGs fired up

The classic RPG-7, the one that everyone thinks of when someone says "RPG", typically has a timed fuze on it to ensure it goes off even if it misses its target. Therefore, it's not coming back to earth, at least not in one large piece.

How an ancient printer can spill your most intimate secrets

Well there's a stroke of luck

And I only just threw out my DM printer too. Fifteen years ago.

Liberal Google, Yahoo!, Apple hurting America claims Reagan

Gorbachav

Heh.

Aussie broadband is slower than a slow thing in a slow town

The key word is average.

I don't know whether you think every Australian has access to a reliable connection with a minimum speed, but considering ADSL2+ subscribers within 1km of an exchange and on a good quality ISP receive 24Mb/s, and there are cable subscribers in limited areas on 30Mb/s in this country, there's a long way to fall to bring the average down to 2.6...

There are vast swathes of this country that have no access to ADSL at all, even within major cities, because all the telephone lines in the country are owned by a single, formerly government owned, company, and this company has grown fat, lazy, stupid and spendthrift.

Apple releases multi-touch 'magic' trackpad

Re: Thanks but no thanks

"I'm pretty certain (but not 100%) that most people who buy Apple stuff don't do so based on it's name."

Not the name, that kitsch^H^H^H^H^H^Hstylish glowing logo on the back of the screen.

Apple brings iMac line up to date

16:9

Having recently bought a 27" monitor, the fact it's 16:9 and not 16:10 is a non-issue when the screen's almost 34cm high and you've got a vertical resolution of 1440 pixels. A 16:10 27" is less than 3cm higher.

And no, I can't see 2.35:1 aspect screens (presumably the "cinema aspect" to which you refer, although a monitor whose aspect ratio is an approximation of pi might be worthy of geek cred) becoming mainstream. The MSOffice ribbon would take up have of the screen.

Those massive CRTs of yours probably cost more than a 27" IPS LCD does today...

Re: Quite right!

Isn't delusion grand?

I need a smiley whose eyes are too far apart for this one.

Airline ejects passenger for being hungry

Whoops

This was intended to be a direct reply to our esteemed colleague, Anonymous Coward and FRIST POSTER OMG.

Didn't quite turn out that way. Hope that puts my ramblings in context. Ahem.

When's the last time...

...you heard of someone being detained for the use of an Australian colloquialism on an aeroplane?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/travel/fair-dinkum-lingo-sparks-us-scare/2007/08/10/1186530594123.html

Oh, right.

Flight attendants aren't hired for their knowledge or intelligence. You'd think they would be hired for their hearing acuity though, but perhaps not.

Street View's Wayne and Garth: The most excellent truth

Most excellent?

Bill & Ted were most excellent, Wayne & Garth were merely excellent.

Way!

Waterfall Niagara speakers

Gah

I don't read The Register for breathless and unquantifiable advertorials about reassuringly expensive audio products that may, or may just as likely not, be any better than something worth 1% as much.

Parliament misled over Climategate report, says MP

"A leading backbench MP"

What exactly is one of these? Do you have house we-don't-actually-do-anything leaders in UK politics? I'm not good enough to be given responsibility but they still think I'm swell? I'm a backbencher but I crave attention?

Brace yourself for 4TB drives next year

Okay

Please post links / studies / etc. on every claim you've made.

Bigger hard drives next year than this year

More news at 11.

Professor warns Aus firewall is undemocratic

Regulation != Censorship

There's more to the media than just "free speech". For starters there are codes of practice and ethical guidelines. Remove these (or just fail to enforce them) and the quality of your media sinks to rock bottom.

Who's who?

So are the LIB/NAT coalition the muslims and the ALP the communists, or is it the other way around?

Lindsay Lohan goes down for 90 days

Blimey

She's looking pretty rough for 24.

3D TV: Avatar or Ishtar?

To be fair...

...they were both pretty bad.

Finn finishes Finnish mini-digger odyssey

What's the artic circle?

Is that something to do with the human heart?

Romford coppers try to stopper young snapper

Groan

Ignorant coppers would be hilarious if they weren't so dangerous.

England versus Germany: Quaff real ale

"Hops aren't a sedative ... That's an urban myth."

I guess the Biochemist with a PhD is wrong then. Good thing you sorted all the confusion out.

New Aus PM may dump comms minister

I'm afraid that's not her natural colour

As she once revealed in an interview with Chris Taylor and Craig Reucassel.

Leica M9 rangefinder camera

Lenses

Leica have been making M rangefinders for 56 years. I think it's fair to say they also made a few lenses in that time.

Very, very expensive lenses.

It wouldn't be a Leica M then

Part of the appeal of a rangefinder is the big, bright and clear viewfinder.

Function Following Form

Now that they're fully electronic and automated, and no longer beholden to design constraints of the film advance system, you'd think they could move the shutter button to a more ergonomic location wouldn't you?

Hands on with Sony's NEX DSLR-quality compact camera

Lenses 2.0

Hah, that 18-200 lens makes the camera look ridiculous(ly unergonomic) and makes the small form factor of the camera completely pointless.

Nobel Prize winner on dodgy World Cup ball

Re: Consistantly in the top ten

Racism... that's a new one.

Ubuntu-based Windows XP looker freshens up

"Ylmf OS"?

Well that just rolls off the tongue.

What about MylfOS?

Aussies rage at 'strings attached' iPad sales

News?

So a sales assistant saw a solid gold opportunity to take some of their more gullible and suggestible customers for as much as they thought they could get away with at the point of sale?

The only thing about this article that's newsworthy is that it was JB and not usual suspect Harvey Norman doing the rorting.

Security gaffe exposes addresses of elite iPaders

Please re-read

I didn't use the word "possible".

Celebrities hey?

Having your email address disclosed doesn't make you vulnerable to phishing attacks. Being a complete clot makes you vulnerable to phishing attacks.

Amusing security attack there too.

Sarah Palin 'boob job' debate dominates US right - and left

Sense of humour malfunction?

I simply found the line amusing, nothing more.

Google Caffeine jolts worldwide search machine

Presumably...

...a large proportion of that "hundreds of thousands of gigabytes each day" updates/replaces existing information in the index, rather than being simply dumped on top of the existing index.

Steve Jobs unveils iPhone 4

Pixels

The noise level of an image is a function of the sensor's size.

The detail level of an image is a function of the pixel count.

The dynamic range decreases as pixels get smaller, but not by as much as you'd expect.

All other things being equal, more pixels are a good thing. Especially when in this case the pixel size hasn't changed, so the sensor has become larger. Image noise will therefore have decreased, since the "size" of the noise is now decreased relative to the size of the image.

The "quality" of an image is a function of both of these properties, and of the lens. The tiny lenses used in these things aren't very difficult to make. It is not uncommon to find numerous models in the digital camera world, with widely varying pixel counts.

Honda CR-Z sporty hybrid e-car

Humbug

If they market this... thing as a sports car I will be forced to sue them for false advertising.

Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown

He's an Australian communications minister

What did everyone expect?

We have a long and glorious history of producing luddite communications ministers.

3-million-km-long comet plunges into Sun

Well I'm glad you know better than the astronomers

Surely it's only a matter of time before they bow down to your superior intellect.

Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

I think I've missed a joke

On what planet is "boffin" used for homosexual?

You're not allowed to bring in Cetaceans eigher

The tyranny.

Actually one of the other silly import bans is on laser pointers.

Amusingly...

...(according to some news sources) they don't appear to have actually defined "pornography", so they can't compel you to declare it because they can't even demonstrate what "it" might be.

Apple MacBook Pro 15in

We've only been trying to tell you...

" Remember the Apple PowerBooks? They were pants. Of course, I didn't know this at the time. It's only now, having had the chance to play with Apple's latest MacBook Pro, that I realise that everything that came before it was so dreadfully ordinary."

Heh.

Canadian mobe firm sued over disappearing husband

Re: Rob.T

1) There's a country called "America"?

2) It's "you're".

Mobile Office 2010: Free, and worth every penny

I reckon it's probably a different program on a phone...

Just a hunch.

'Completely useless' Windows 3.1 hits Google's Android

Someone please

Tell me about long filenames

Garage worker prangs £200k Ferrari

Now I'm confused

You're wondering why an MOT test is required for a car that's been in production since 2004, and well... yeah that's about it really.

Tiger Woods succumbs to 'bulging d*ck'

I had a bulging duck once

It was pretty unwieldy.

Asus R101 netbook quietly flies in

Oh

My guess before reading the article was that R101 stood for room 101, which would have been equally unfortunate. My room 101 has an iPad in it though.