Posts by John G Imrie

Judge blames RealNetworks for DVD-ripping ban

So I can back up the game executable ...

from the DVD but not the data, Music or Video files.

Police cuff citizens for videotaping arrests

Like 11 other states, Massachusetts is a two-party consent state,

I hope the police in these 11 States never video demo's then.

Record labels seek DMCA-style UK takedowns

Vote Pirate Party

They are the only one's who understand the Net.

If there isn't a local branch then form one.

Integrated tube tickets not on the Olympic menu

This is oviously

A surreptitious way of limiting numbers of potential spectators to an acceptable limit.

Italians take the 'p' to fight back against Big Brother

Thank you Chancellor Sutler

I want this country to realize that we stand on the edge of oblivion. I want everyone to remember *why* they need us

IPS in cunning 'get an ID card, get crucified' scheme

No it doesen't

Conjugate the verb to go.

Trouser-bomb clown attacks - how much should we laugh?

Re: Once again

Why oh why is Mr Page not on every news program in the land explaining this to the Sun readers?

Because he uses words of more than two syllables, but mainly because he won't get his tits out for the lads.

El Reg sparks international incident with Olympics committee

Room 101

rightwise thinking double plus good

Johnson reveals ID register linked to NI numbers

Mutual exclusion

I'm a Geek if I wanted Mutually exclusive options I'd have written

Incompetence xor failure, which would you choose?

Not having an election this year

They could just amend this act of parliament http://www.statutelaw.gov.uk/content.aspx?activeTextDocId=1516478

A day older

Please note that you are required by law to keep IPS informed of any changes to your personal information

Should I writer to them each day to tell them I'm a day older?

So who designed these systems?

The same bunch of incompetent consultants who sold the original scheme to the banks.

Government Statistics.

He added that between 20 October and 10 December last year more than 2,400 people had voluntarily enrolled, or made an appointment to enrol, for an identity card.

Either this means that the Government has received 2400 appointments and does not know how many of them have actually become issued cards, or the Government does know how many cards have been issued and the number is so embarrassingly tiny they don't want to tell us.

Incompetence or failure, which would you choose?

ID card scheme for foreigns extended

Tell me why ...

Migrants can pay £8 at 17 post offices, or continue to register their details for free at some UK Border Agency and Passport Service offices.

... any one would want to shell out £8 when a similar service is available for free.

And I wonder if bringing the roll-out forward has anything to do with the election.

UK prosecutors drop 'tiger' sex video case

Police selectively withholding evedence

I don't believe it!

Airbus: We'll cancel crap A400M unless we get more £££

Come on politicians - are you listening?

Hell no.

Theres a resession on, an election looming in which the ruling party looks like it is going to get decemated, if it does not decapitate it's self first, and you expect them to announce job cuts in marginal constituancies.

And if the facturies are not in marginal constituancies they will be after anouncing the job cuts.

The good news is after the election commonsence my rain for a couple of months.

Paramount prepares to scale Dune

Gloryfying terroism

Hum, Isn't that illegal in the UK now?

TIC TAC TOE

I thought they had already done that with War Games.

Shall we play a game, anyone?

Software fraudster 'fooled CIA' into terror alert

Al Jazira

Al Jazira's station in Bagdad was also shelled by the American troups during the 'liberation' of Iraq, dispite or perhaps because of, the fact that the coordinates had been givern to the US.

Lawyers scared of computers

aManFromMars

For some time I have thought that the real man from Mars has been fiendishly killed, this post proves it.

That or the software used for generating the posts has learnt sufficiently to be able to take over the world now.

I for one welcome our Martian Software Buddies.

Interistingly

An early end run around the DPA access requirements was to have an index on a computer, which could be quickly searched, and all the actual data stored on paper files.

Multiple travel firms refuse ID cards as passport alternative

False advertising

I wonder if any one has complained to the ASA yet?

BOFH: Key performance undertakers

The big question?

Was that last

*KZEERTTTAAAAAAAAAAA!*

*Scratchy scratchy.*

1) The BOFF falling for the PFY's plan.

2) The PFY discovering the new metallic floor covering

3) The head bean counter coming to complain about the billing for the latest keyboard to be installed in been counter central.

You decide!

Ferry giant refuses ID card

People have made numerous journeys around Europe using their identity cards ...

Err, and how many of those where British with a British ID card?

Crypto snafu grounds 3D Avatar screenings in Germany

DRM

Digitally restricted movie

File-sharing Bill could give Government control of the internet

What have you done to the real man from mars

Not only did I understand that post I actually agreed with most of it

EDS mainframe goes titsup, crashes RBS cheque system

RE: Will the last one please turn the lights out, thank you.

Sorry they sacked the last person who new how to work a light switch last week.

Senior IT workers caught in bank bonus tax crossfire

Expect to see

A large number of Job reorganisations happening in banks over the next two weeks as people move out of the taxed jobs to ones with slightly different names but the same responsibility and perks..

Also expect these people to be paid for the turmoil of having to order new business cards.

Headteachers slam 'disproportionate' vetting database

I think the head teachers are missing the point

Head teachers today condemned it as bureaucratic and unlikely to guarantee the safety of those it is meant to protect.

The database is meant to protect officials. In which job it will do a good job.

UK air traffic control goes after Wikileaks

Copyright oh realy

When did the air traffic controller an pilot sign over the copyright of their 'performance' to NATS.

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Calling Dr Freeman

We would just add, for anyone of a nervous disposition reading this, that the LHC will not destroy the Earth.

I don't care what thy say, I'm keeping my crowbar close this weekend.

PS can we have a crowbar icon for 'I for one *don't* welcome ...'

MS Jingle Bell bus rattles past Reg Towers

Why do I have this ...

Sudden urge to paint a penguin on the side of the buss

Manchester journo gets first ID card - late

littlte bobby tables

My first pets name was عذراء and my faverate song is '; drop table address

Parse that.

Internet and journos fertilise scrotum-ripping drug panic

In other words, this was not the police, but press sensationalising the issue.

British press create mountain out of mole hill, well who'd a thunk it.

Though reading the Sun while on LSD may well make you blind to reality.

Hackintosher Psystar to pay Apple $2.7m in settlement

Re: Good riddence

I'm sure they will toddle off back to doing something more useful with their obvious talents of taking other's hard work and seling as their own!

So they are going to work for Microsoft then?

UK.gov may abolish edited electoral roll

Translation

It said that while making the edited register 'opt in' rather than 'opt out' would better protect privacy and reduce the number of people who appear on the edited register without knowing that they do or understanding the implications of that, it would also drastically reduce the usefulness of the edited register by reducing the number of people on it.

If we make it opt in instead of opt out there will be fewer people on it and we won't be able to charge as much as we do for it.

Gov targets boozers as Manc ID card scheme launches

Research oppertunity

"With research by the Identity and Passport Service showing that nearly ten per cent of passports are lost by young people on nights out and tough legislation introduced this month to clamp down on underage drinking, it will be more important than ever for young people to have access to a universally accepted proof of age."

So how do I get funding to do research on how many ID cards are lost on nights out?

I'll give you a quick preview of my preliminary results: 10%

Cartoon smut law to make life sucky for Olympic organisers

Re: Drawing Curtains?

Seriously, if you had a choice between stopping one real child from being subjected to real abuse, and stopping a million cartoon characters from being subjected to fictional abuse, which abuse would you choose to stop?

Thats easy, the cartoon characters. It boosts the crime report stats and is so much easier to find the evidence for.

Johnson refuses to intervene in McKinnon extradition

Niccolo Machiavelli

I was looking for a quote by Niccolo Machiavelli on how a prince should honor a treaty and found this

"Politics have no relation to morals. "

However this one sums up how a country should view a treaty

"Treaties, you see, are like girls and roses; they last while they last."

Charles de Gaulle

Virgin Media to trial filesharing monitoring system

That only works

if you know the data is music.

How can they tell the difference between a compressed encrypted Linux Distro and Lilly Allen's latest Oeuvre?

UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files

They can suggest as much as they like

As soon as they publicize this it's slander, and the will have to prove it with the evedence they now have.

RIPA III: A legislative turkey comes home to roost

/dev/random

Does this mean that /dev/random is now illegal as I cant prove its not an encrypted file?

Credit crunch? It won't be over by Christmas

The impact of the recession on British businesses may well be permanent.

Bollocks!

The lack of credit will last only for as long as the current set of managers are in power. Their replacements will have learned nothing from this. I give it 2 years max.

Oh and if you want to see a real long term bubble look at the cost of British housing. When that finally bursts there will be hell to pay.

Stop icon for Stop the world I want to get off.

Mandelson to get Nominet reform powers

For the brief second it works it will expose mandy as one of the District 9 aliens.

I doubt it. The District 9 aliens had a well developed set of morals.

Cheerleaders in danger from cheerleading

Ig Nobel

I think someone is trying to get in early for next years Ig Nobel prize

'F-22 Raptor stealth coatings are crap' case goes to court

Arms suplyer rips of Government.

and later in our thread of investigative journalism.

Arboreal deification secrets of ursids , and religious leanings of Pope.

I guess my cynicism is showing again.

UK's cyber warriors go into battle in March

Funding for the unit hasn't been revealed,

Of cause it hasn't.

No one in the treasury has noticed the reduction in head count yet.

Murdoch threatens to yank News Corp. from Google News

And with one fell swoop ...

NewsCorp increases the relavency of all Google Search results.

Go for it Roop

Sacked drugs advisor pledges new expert body

@By Anonymous Coward Posted Wednesday 4th November 2009 17:07 GMT

Home office advisors attended this lecture in July and had no problems with it then. So why do they have problems with it now?

Thats easy to answer. In July it had not been reported by the tabloid press so the Government had no opinion on it. Once it had been reported then the Government knew what to fink.*

*fink: noun:- following slavishly the editorial line of the Daily Mail and other like minded news papers.

Eurostar frustrated by 'illegal' e-Borders scheme

He added that e-Borders has led to more than 4,500 arrests

And precisely how many of those arrested where convicted.

Lies, damn lies, and government selectively reporting statistics.