* Posts by John G Imrie

1999 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN

John G Imrie

Re Crowley

I've just finished re watching Good Oman's, I think it's time to re read the book

Well, what are we waiting for? Three weeks later, Windows Embedded Standard 7 still didn't have the answer

John G Imrie

Re: Remember when there was talk of Windows in cars?

Have you been buying the cheep lasagna again?

Elite name on Brit scene sponsors retro video games preservation project at the Centre for Computing History

John G Imrie

Re: Screenshot

I bought my first PC to play Elite Plus on.

Linus Torvalds banishes masters, slaves and blacklists from the Linux kernel, starting now

John G Imrie

Re: Reply to Linus Torvalds

I think crap is inclusive, as we are all in it.

Former UK Labour deputy leader wants to know how the NHS's contact-tracing app will ensure user privacy

John G Imrie

Round and round we go

Isn't this just Care.data by the back door?

GitHub to replace master with main across its services

John G Imrie

George Orwell new the importance of language, the whole point of New Speak in 1984 was the elimination of words and hence the elimination of the thought behind the word. Which words we use matters, though I'd point out that using insensitive terminology and/or words may not mean you are a raciest pig, just you are old and haven't got the memo yet.

ICE cold: Microsoft's GitHub wrings hands over US prez's Trump immigration ban plan

John G Imrie

Hang on, as everyone is now home schooling surly any home shooting should be classified as a school shooting.

John G Imrie

What November elections?

Do you actually expect there to be elections in November after the second waver of corona virus hits?

Huawei signs non-aggression patent pact with membership of Open Invention Network

John G Imrie

Re: "What of the company's controversial status today?"

You are Donald Trump and I claim my £5

Asterix co-creator Albert Uderzo dies aged 92

John G Imrie

Asterix co-creator Albert Uderzo dies aged 92, Oh @#$$%!

World's smallest violin to be played for opportunistic sellers banned from eBay and Amazon for price gouging

John G Imrie

A better response ...

Would be to leave the page open block all offers on it and add on every offer by that user the following message: I'm a price gouging asshole who thinks making an excessive profit is much more important than your health'

Theranos vampire lives on: Owner of failed blood-testing biz's patents sues maker of actual COVID-19-testing kit

John G Imrie

I don't think you can go as low as $0 that would be counted as theft. $0.01 should be ok though.

Some good coronavirus news: Monster Google-Oracle API copyright battle on hold as bio-nasty shuts Supremes

John G Imrie

Re: $9bn ?

Well lets think this through, which company with a $9b windfall is likely to be the first target of everyone who is not Oracle?

Can AI-enhanced virtual sports presenters do the job? It's a big ask

John G Imrie

Re: Generally talking arse to each other

You are completely wr... SQUIRREL!!!

Not a Genius move after all: Apple must cough up $$$ in back pay for store staff forced to wait for bag searches

John G Imrie

Re: American Employment

It's not slavery as you can leave, prison employment on the other hand...

John G Imrie

Re: Court

That's not where he was going with this, a vexatious defendent would loose the automatic right of appeal, but could go before a judge to argue why they should be allowed to appeal

US hands UK 'dossier' on Huawei: Really! Still using their kit? That's just... one... step... beyond

John G Imrie

Re: I wonder how long it will be before they try to ban "China Clay"

They'll just rename it Freedom Clay

Y2K quick-fix crick? 1920s come roaring back after mystery blip at UK's vehicle licensing agency

John G Imrie

B Ark

That's all right, they are taking the phone sanitisers with them

John G Imrie

Re: Who's a betting man?

Do you know, every bit of me has been replaced apart from the diodes in my left side.

Christmas in tatters for Nottinghamshire tots after mayor tells them Santa's too busy

John G Imrie

Re: I've checked my contract

I thought we all believed in recycling these days.

John G Imrie

Under the mistletoe !

Oracle and Google will fight in court over Java AGAIN and this time it's going to the Supremes

John G Imrie

There are a couple of thing's that need to be dredged up from the mists of time at the start of the case. When Google started down this track the talked to Sun about it and Sun's reply, as quoted in documents before the court was basically, sure go for it, and two Google took the publicly available API spec that Sun said they can use and wrote their own code to match that spec.

NASA boffins tackle Nazi alien in space – with the help of Native American tribal elders

John G Imrie

Re: Why Sky?

Stick it up your nose?

John G Imrie

Re: one way ticket

I think we need some kind of an Ark to send them on. Perhaps the Beyond Ark or B-Ark for short.

Londoner accused of accessing National Lottery users' accounts

John G Imrie

Re: Batson is innocent unless found guilty.

I wonder if I can get a petition going on the government web site to have <defendent name> is innocent unless found guilty displayed at the end of every court report and said after every TV report.

Boffins hand in their homework on Voyager 2's first readings from beyond Solar System

John G Imrie

Re: I don't understand the diagram

[disclaimer: Monty Python do not guarantee the accuracy of all their lyrics - neither are they peer reviewed.]

That's what Professor Brian Cox was complaining about, until Professor Stephen Hawking came along to correct him.

Pro-Linux IP consortium Open Invention Network will 'pivot' to take on patent trolls

John G Imrie





lovaly SCO

wonderfull SCO

With apologies to Monty Python, but no apologies to SCO.

Where's a dead parrot icon when you need it

Bet you can't guess what I'm wearing, or where I'm wearing it

John G Imrie


As in all your data is transparent to the Internet.

Linux kernel is getting more reliable, says Linus Torvalds. Plus: What do you need to do to be him?

John G Imrie

Re: Such As ......?

I'm sorry but having had words with Satan and his Minions he has disavowed any and all contact with the designers of systemd and has released the following statement.

There are somethings that not even Hell will stoop to. We may be evil, but we do have standards to uphold.

Yours Beelzebub p.p. Satan

GitLab pulls U-turn on plan to crank up usage telemetry after both staff and customers cry foul

John G Imrie

Based on considerable feedback from our customers, users, and the broader community,


We discovered just how many of our paying customers where going to leave if we did this.

John G Imrie

Re: Based off that one sentence

I can also tell he has the total respect of the engineering department and has spent the last 6 months sheltering them from this shit storm.

Power to the users? Admins be warned: Microsoft set to introduce 'self-service purchase' in Office 365

John G Imrie

Re: Bloodsucking leeches

Oh, they are far worse.

John G Imrie

Re: More of the MS 'do it our way or not at all' Mantra.

It's worse than that, the Sys Admins and Bean Counters now have common cause against the rest of the company. I hope to see this reflected in the next BOFH

Reaction Engines' precooler tech demo chills 1,000°C air in less than 1/20th of a second

John G Imrie


tells you everything you need to know about modern Britain the world of finance.

John G Imrie

Re: Here We Go...

In Arthur C. Clark's A Fall of Moon Dust, the stewardess of a marooned Lunar Dust-crawler is complimented on her tea making skills after the driver ups the pressure of the O2 in the cabin.

Inside the 1TB ImageNet data set used to train the world's AI: Naked kids, drunken frat parties, porno stars, and more

John G Imrie

AI Learning

Can't they train an AI to filter out appropriate images?

UK culture sec hints at replacing TV licence fee, defends encryption ban proposals and her boss in Hacker House inquiry

John G Imrie

Re: Yes please...

I stand corrected.

John G Imrie

Re: Yes please...

I would be in total agreement with you if it wasn't for the fact that the Government outscored the TV Licence collection to Capiter. The BBC has no say in how often those letters get sent out.

I discovered the world's last video rental kiosk and it would make a great spaceship

John G Imrie

Re: RE: Dan 55

Open drawer, luxury

Flak overflow: Barrage of criticism prompts very public Stack Overflow apology

John G Imrie

Re: There's reputation then there's reputation...

My biggest bugbear is when I find a question and start answering it and by the time I've written the answer but before I hit submit someone has come along and marked it duplicate and locked it.

The mod firing squad: Stack Exchange embroiled in 'he said, she said, they said' row

John G Imrie

Re: Some people have all the luck

Dear, MightyZog Paul Smith, you are lucky. I wanted to add my preferred pronoun into the comment box here and El Reg said they didn't like the characters I had chosen to represent it, those being U+1F46C U+1F46B U+1F46D

John G Imrie
Thumb Up

Re: Surely it's just a bit of civility

I think the world would be a much better place if we just classed everyone else as 'person' and ignored the finer details.

Devonitely not great: Torbay and South Devon NHS declares 'major IT incident'

John G Imrie

Re: Failover?

Failover requires explaining to some bean counter why that equipment in the corner isn't being used at 100%. But if you do win that battle you then get the Daily Mail or other tabloid newspaper screaming about wasted NHS resources.

German ministry hellbent on taking back control of 'digital sovereignty', cutting dependency on Microsoft

John G Imrie

Re: About time.

I've heard of Brexit, but I've yet to see one despite BoJo shouting, 'It's over here, no over there, no dam it, it's that great big thing by the cliff edge'

MPs call for 'immediate' stop to facial recog in UK as report underlines bias risks in 'pre-crime' algos used by coppers

John G Imrie
Big Brother

So probably it will used to trick people into thinking it works

Like TV detector vans and lie detectors then.

US government sues ex-IT guy for breaking his NDA (Yes, we mean Edward Snowden)

John G Imrie

Didn't the US learn anything from Spy Catcher?

This image-recognition roulette is all fun and games... until it labels you a rape suspect, divorcee, or a racial slur

John G Imrie


Charles Babbage, inventor of the over-running publicly-funded IT project.

John G Imrie

Re: And yet...

Ah, so you have met A Man from Mars then

UK Home Office web form snafu allows you to both agree and disagree – strongly – all at once

John G Imrie

Re: The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device,

Mr. Gently, about this bill you sent me for finding my cat?

Two years ago, 123-Reg and NamesCo decided to register millions of .uk domains for customers without asking them. They just got the renewal reminders...

John G Imrie

Cancel your card

Sometimes it's the only way to stop them.


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