* Posts by John G Imrie

2038 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Cumbrian Police accidentally publish all officers' details online

John G Imrie

Re: How?

They could be in the same situation I found myself in once when having queried the wisdom of placing a document on the web site being told it wasn't my job to decide what got published. It was fun to see all the headless chickens running around half an hour or so later shouting take it down, take it down


John G Imrie

I made a lot of cash just by playing the markets and never travailing anywhere. Or at least only travailing in the smallest cheapest ship I could find.

Windows XP's adventures in the afterlife shows copyright's copywrongs

John G Imrie

Coppyright length

Blame Disney,

Mickey Mouse should have been in the public domain years ago.

Another security calamity for Capita: An unsecured AWS bucket

John G Imrie

To misquote Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and Crapita's incompetence and I'm not sure about the former.

Guy rejects top photo prize after revealing snap was actually made using AI

John G Imrie

The Law

It also means that any photo entered as evidence can now be challenged on the grounds that it's AI generated.

Fujitsu bags £142M UK government work since Horizon probe announced

John G Imrie

Re: "We can't undo the damage that has been done."

They could strip the Post Office of it's right to bring private prosecutions.

Find My Kids app is basically AirTags for your offspring

John G Imrie

Wonderfull Idea

Get kids used to being tracked and they'll grow up to be adults used to being tracked.

Man wrongly jailed by facial recognition, lawyer claims

John G Imrie

Helo Ametica

I got a couple of paragraphs into this and I thought, is Reid a black man?

Then at the bottom of the article

Reid isn't the first person of color to have been wrongfully arrested due to computer vision algorithms employed by law enforcement returning a false match.

New research aims to analyze how widespread COBOL is

John G Imrie

Re: "ye ancient code wizards"

Life finds a way

Time Lords decree an end to leap seconds before risky attempt to reverse time

John G Imrie

I think it was more to do with getting paid weekly but paying the rent monthly. To the point the act of parliament authorising the change talks about how to fix this.

This explains why the UK tax year doesn't start at the beginning of the month.

The next time your program is 'not responding,' (do not) try these steps

John G Imrie

Re: Cynical

Well I did, and I'm still limping.

Legacy IT to blame for UK's inflexible benefits system

John G Imrie

Re: My BS-o-meter just shot off the scale

Perhaps it's time to brush off my City + Guilds in Cobol programming.

James Webb Space Telescope has arrived at its new home – an orbit almost a million miles from Earth

John G Imrie

$10 billion

$10b is still less than Privet Eye reckons the UK Government will have to pay to bail out the privet energy business.

BOFH: What a beautiful classic car. Shame if anything were to happen to it

John G Imrie

Re: Ever alert

Not at all. The BOFH was filming a video on hoe easy it was to get personal info from an employer.

Epoch-alypse now: BBC iPlayer flaunts 2038 cutoff date, gives infrastructure game away

John G Imrie

Re: This is just one...

But where will we be able to get old pennies from in order to correctly balance the weights?

All I want for Christmas is a delivery address that a delivery courier can find

John G Imrie

Oh dear

Video unavailable

This video contains content from ITV_plc, who has

blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

Patients must know how their health records are used – and approve any sharing for research

John G Imrie

Assumed consent

Assumed consent doesn't work as a defence against a charge of rape, why should it work here?

Sir Tim Berners-Lee and the BBC stage a very British coup to rescue our data from Facebook and friends

John G Imrie

Re: Pointless


We didn't pay for content before Facebook, Twitter and Google.

tz database community up in arms over proposals to merge certain time zones

John G Imrie

Re: Is UCLA forcing the hand?

If you look at the raw data in the TZ file you will see acknowledgments of who provided which bit of historical data.

Fix five days of server failure with this one weird trick

John G Imrie

Re: The "inspector"

Fingers and pain is why I still remember that capacitors retain charge even after the device they are in has been unplugged.

That and picking myself up from the other side of my bedroom.

Watchdog 'disappointed' it took NHS England over a year to release details of access to Palantir COVID-19 data store

John G Imrie

Not concerned

No one seams to have any concern over the fact that there appears to be nothing about how the data will be destroyed once it's finished with.

Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland

John G Imrie

Re: It was a lovely day for a coup

The average IQ of a population is always 100, that's how it works.


BOFH: 'What's an NFT?' the Boss asks. In this case, 'not financially thoughtful'

John G Imrie

Re: I swear ...

Sounds like an updated training run for the final Exam of the Assassins Guild, Ankh Morpork

Gloom-dwelling subterranean robots battle for million-dollar DARPA prize

John G Imrie

Re: Then we have one legged robot

No, and I was wondering where they put the parrot as well.

Go to L: A man of the cloth faces keyboard conundrum

John G Imrie

Re: Calling upon a higher power

You should have told them that one in eight people in a scrum is a Hooker.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? Detroit waits for my order, you'd better make amends

John G Imrie


There is a special breed of user that prefers to pick up the phone rather than attempt even the simplest of resolutions.

It's the one that's been told if you try and fix it and you make it worse it's coming out of your budget / salary / bonus.

Nasdaq's 32-bit code can't handle Berkshire Hathaway's monster share price

John G Imrie

What ever happened to binary coded decimals?

The swift in-person response is part of the service (and nothing to do with the thing I broke while trying to help you)

John G Imrie

Simon wouldn't disable voicemail, an off site backup with all the juicy details of who was shagging who is more his style.


Harassers and bullies succeed in tech because silence is encouraged

John G Imrie

Re: Rednecks incoming.....

But what happens when it's the 4th , 5th or 6th person making the complaint?

US Army develops natural-language voice-command AI for robots, tanks, etc. For search'n'rescue. For now

John G Imrie

Marvin; I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin.

Ford: And what happened?

Marvin: It committed suicide

Yep, the 'Who owns Linux?' case is back from the dead

John G Imrie

Re: What?

No comments though, and you can't log in either

Facebook says dump of 533m accounts is old news. But my date of birth, name, etc haven't changed in years, Zuck

John G Imrie

Re: Time for the usual security advice

At least Bobby Tables will be OK

Another successful flight for SpaceX's Starship apart from the landing-in-one-piece thing

John G Imrie

Re: Historical precedent

Where do you think Musk got his Ideas from?


Scottish National Party members found among list of names signed up to rival Alba Party after website whoopsie

John G Imrie

Re: If they look hard enough

If Dido had been in charge the home page would have had a link to a membership list containing Name, address, credit card number and date of birth.

John G Imrie

Re: The Scottish People's Front.


Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a beer: Beware the downloaded patch applied in haste

John G Imrie

Army Email time

Anyone else remember this

'Amarillo' video crashes MoD PCs

I did like the Army's response.

Like a challenge in a high profile 'face-of-IT' role? Welcome to the Home Office

John G Imrie

Re: Part of me would like this job

So negotiate a golden good by on the grounds that to and Priti Vacant have an opperational disagreement

Transcribe-my-thoughts app would prevent everyone knowing what I actually said during meetings

John G Imrie

Minuits are power

If you have to record the minuets then what ever you put in them was what happened in the meting. If anyone complains then you just respond 'well that's not what I heard'. Eventually one of two thins will happen. Either everyone will start agreeing with your minuets in which case you just have to write up what you think should have happened or two the person arguing with you will become so irate they will demand to take the writing of the minuets from you and do it themselves.

Two clichés, one headline: 'No good deed goes unpunished' and 'It's always DNS'

John G Imrie

Re: Change management matters

He was ordered to, by his manager

Exonerated: First subpostmasters cleared of criminal convictions in Post Office Horizon scandal

John G Imrie

Re: A priest...

Is there some way we can campaign to have that removed?

SpaceX Starship blows up on landing, Elon Musk says it's the data that matters and that landed just fine

John G Imrie

Re: Ignition

If your prototype didn't blow up at least once in testing I'm not getting on the production version because I don't know what you forgot to test.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

John G Imrie

Who needs HTML code m³

John G Imrie

Re: Inside joke?

Lawers Morison and Fosters website is https://www.mofo.com/ and yes they do use MoFo as an informal name.

Netflix chooses its own judgment in 'Bandersnatch' case: Settle and make the nasty lawsuit go away

John G Imrie

Re: Oh how I loved them as a kid

Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone.

I'm sat here with the 25th Anniversary Edition in front of me. The publishing details claim it was first published in 1982

Mysterious metal monolith found in 'very remote' part of Utah

John G Imrie

It's an advert ...

Just not aimed at anyone on earth.

It's always DNS, especially when a sysadmin makes a hash of their semicolons

John G Imrie

vi v's Emacs

Real programmers use butterflies

[Checks meeting agenda...] Where does it say 'Talk cr*p and waste everyone's time'?

John G Imrie


What a waste of coffee. You should knock their coffee over them.

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

John G Imrie

Re: Error code

I think its a D1D0 bug.

You *bang* will never *smash* humiliate me *whack* in front of *clang* the teen computer whizz *crunch* EVER AGAIN

John G Imrie

Re Crowley

I've just finished re watching Good Oman's, I think it's time to re read the book

Well, what are we waiting for? Three weeks later, Windows Embedded Standard 7 still didn't have the answer

John G Imrie

Re: Remember when there was talk of Windows in cars?

Have you been buying the cheep lasagna again?