Posts by Fred 1

No 'tipping point' for Arctic sea ice - latest science

Another tipping point

Absolutely not. You don't seriously expect me to believe any prediction made by those so called astronomy scientists. They are just scaremongering to get government handouts for shiny new telescopes.

Ignorant Coward

"Didn't you know that the global warming is caused by man's over population and increased biomass?"

I could not possibly know that as I don't believe that it is true.

Global warming is caused by our burning of lakes of oil and mountains of coal every year, releasing vast quantities of stored CO2 into the atmosphere.

Most of this happens in the more affluent countries where the population is not booming.

I'm not saying that overpopulation is not a massive problem, but it is not currently the main driver of global warming.

Tipping Point

I wonder if we will see a tipping point sometime in the future where Lewis finally admits that global warming is actually going to cause us some catastrophic problems.

A quarter of underage children have social networking profiles

Only a quarter?

Both my boys 10 & 12 are on Facebook as are most of their classmates. I wonder how many "18" year olds are really registered on there. They are part of the generation that has grown up with web access, and I think it would be wrong to exclude them from this aspect of it.

US lab births flexy, stingy solar cells

Him or me?

Well, put it this way, whose post did she reply to?

Somehow I don't think Sarah is asking for a ride in your hummer anytime soon.

Futureshock is coming

Well, you can have a solar powered vehicle, you'll just have to settle for much lower speeds. Pedalling it will help too. My electric bike has a 250W motor in the wheel, so 2.4kW would be plenty. The notion that we all need to charge round in a ton of steel at 70mph really is quite absurd. The human race is about to get bitchslapped by reality very soon in the shape of peak oil.

Think Aussie election rules are draconian? Look at the UK's

Gagged

I think I am speaking for many of us here when I say...

<CENSORED>

Retailers fooled by fake and borrowed IDs

Wonderful

30 odd years back, I was a regular in the pub by 14 and it's good to hear that the kids are savvy enough to keep the old traditions going despite the rise of the surveilance state. Here's to the youth of today.

Woman sues rail line for 'exploding' toilet

Never flush in a tunnel

On the old BR trains where the flush just opens up a hole in the floor, the pressure pulse from travelling through a tunnel can be enough to turn the crapper into a fountain.

Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'

Winning strategy

I have always believed that microsoft are a corrupt, immoral and criminal organisation who are a disgrace to the IT industry.

I am a reasonable man however, and would be prepared to reconsider this position for a suitable bribe of sex and drugs.

Fifty Strikes and… we'll tell your Mum

Raving Monsters

Sadly, Sutch is dead now, but I'd still vote for him in preference to the available competition.

Naked scans: Net cries nude-o-geddon

Ghost porn

There is so little pron available on the internerd featuring young horny models that I am desparate to obtain some fuzzy negative images of fat middle aged women.

Zuckerberg: 'I am a prophet'

Hypocrite

I tried posting some pictures of my most intimate and private activities on facebook, and they closed my account and told me never to come back again.

Guess I'll just have to show them off the old way, down in the park at dusk.

Legal highs now illegal

Quite right too

Of course these fake drugs should be banned.

They are nowhere near as good as the real thing.

Of course since puff has been illegal since before I was born it is ever so hard to get these days.

Sometimes it takes me a couple of hours to track any down.

Doing the maths on Copenhagen

Ah...

I am totally humbled by theincisive wit of your intelligent and informative comment.

You are quite right, fuck the kids, let's not leave them a habitable planet.

Carbon cycle

Volcanoes are always spewing out some CO2. Photosynthesis in plants and algae absorbs the CO2 and releases O2. Some of these are eaten by animals, absorbing O2 and releasing CO2. Some of the plant matter gets buried, taking that carbon out of circulation.

Some of that buried carbon gets sucked back inside the earth in subduction zones.

What has happened is that we have dug up millions of years worth of this stored carbon and burned it, releasing lots of extra CO2.

This has temporarily disturbed the equilibrium of the normal carbon cycle.

In a few hundred years, it may settle back to normal, unless we have tipped the balance enough to cause a major extinction event, in which case all bets are off.

Try using your brain a litttle

Who is farming all those cows and cutting down the rainforests to make more pasture?

Do you understand the difference between weather and climate?

If we heat up the poles, there is every chance that the gulf stream will stop flowing, and Britain will get far colder as a result of global warming.

Interesting Times

That's about the best, (or maybe the only) analysis I have seen of the economics of climate change.

No doubt the deniers will be out in force here, I wonder do any of these guys have kids?

It looks to me like our governments are taking the same approach here as they do with fisheries management.

Professing to believe what the scientists are saying, then taking totally inadequate measures because they are worried that their mates the industrialists will go bust if they do what is actually required.

Here is where we get to find out if we really are as intelligent as we like to claim, or did we just get lucky with using cheap energy for a while.

Privacy group sues DoJ over 'digital strip search' data

Airport Insecurity

A girl I knew worked as a security guard at Gatwick.

She claimed that they would pick out sexy looking people and ask their colleagues to search them.

Especially that girl walking through the airport in the bikini top.

Clearly she had plenty to hide.

With staff of this calibre on the job, I think we can rest safely in the knowledge that these images will be treated with the utmost propriety.

Stargazers spy super-Earth waterworld

Waterworld

I think that in the interests of science, we should send Kevin Kostner there anyway.

While I realise there is a slight possibility of him surviving the ordeal, it is nonetheless a risk worth taking.

Philip K. Dick's kid howls over Googlephone handle

It's hers

Because her dead dad bagsied the word fair and square.

Every time anybody utters the word noxious they should pay her a huge royalty.

Thomas the Tank Engine drives 'conservative political ideology'

Thomas the tank engine and his bitchy mates

I was so glad when the boys grew out of this dross. The youngest declared one day "It's a bit babyish", and his brother instantly lost interest.

James the red engine was a smug git.

Then he crashed.

Ha ha served him right laughed Thomas.

Such a relief to move on to the classics.

Thunderbirds are go!

Pig plague alert: Avoid missionary position

Dangerous advice

When I tried to tell one of the girls in the office that a reverse cowgirl would be safer than just saying good morning, she puched me right in the nose.

Consequently this careless article increased her chances of catching something enormously.

Hacked climate Prof stands aside

Deny this then if you can

Sure the world is not warming up much.

Most of the increase in trapped solar energy seems to be going into polar and glacial melting.

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn18218-seas-could-rise-14m-warns-antarctic-climate-review.html

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20427355.900-melting-arctic-forget-polar-bears-worry-about-humans.html

Windows 7 - Microsoft minus the martyrdom

Same turd

Better polish

Border agency to start fingerprint checks

Waste of time

Is there a massive problem with identity fraud at the border?

How many bad guys or asylum seekers will be thwarted by this measure?

Only the very dumbest.

Oh no, they are taking fingerprints, I'll just go and sit in the back of that truck and cry.

Oh look, I've just crossed the border anyway.

An expensive and intrusive measure which will nonetheless be completely ineffective.

Combat games disrespect war laws, report claims

Absurd

We could not stop the British/Americans/Israelis/Somalis/Serbians/etc. from doing these things in the field.

Therefore you can not do them in a game.

MS denies Win 7 backdoor rumours

No back door?

Luckily there are several wide open ones round at the front.

IDC Ecco Personal

Thank god

I really need this, I am always losing my pockets

HELL-beam project now one step from jet-fighter raygun

Ablative Armour

The tip of my anti laser missile would be coated with ablative armour.

When the laser hits it, it instantly vapourises into a layer of thick impenetrable smoke.

Shark steaks anyone?

Quickening satellite quickens pulses at ESA

Well duuuhhh!

It's obviously due to the effecet of a micro black hole in erratic orbit around the planet. This will be generated in 3011 by the Really Really Big Hardon Collider, and slip back in time to the current day when they reverse polarity on the cornfield, causing the crop circles to spin backwards.

Pah! These so called scientists know nothing.

Election makes net snooping a pariah policy

Who are the real targets

Luckily these measures are only there to spy on terrorists and child molesters.

As a mere domestic extremist, I am sure they will have no interest whatsoever in my communications.

New York's top lawman slaps Intel with lawsuit

About time

Yes, America, that foul stench is coming from your back yard.

Good to see you have finally noticed.

Sacked drugs advisor pledges new expert body

No alternative?

Perhaps the reason that alcohol use is so out of hand is that society has criminalised the alternatives?

The name of the body is also somewhat pre-loaded - Misuse of Drugs

No, I think most of us who indulge are using them correctly, just as nature intended.

Scientists flee Home Office after adviser sacking

Tough on the truth

The last thing this government needs is honest advisors.

If people started telling te truth, the whole fabric of society would break down.

Government to protect children from zombie paedophiles

Zombie teachers

The dead may walk - but they can't work in teaching

It's all changed since my day then.

At least there are still plenty of jobs for them in politics.

Mandy declares 'three strikes' war on illegal file sharers

Three Strikes - not a bad idea actually

Could somebody please remind me how many times the right dishonorable gentleman has been booted from office in disgrace?

We've tried holy water and a stake through the heart, I think decapitation is next on the list.

Just remember kids -

Home Fucking is killing Prostitution

Microsoft drops Family Guy like a hot deaf guy joke

The ultimate low point

Not moral enough to be associated with Microsoft.

I can't think of a worse indictment for anybody.

Clock stopped for McKinnon extradition

@Sarah

"I now support whatever course of action would mean I would never have to moderate this thread ever again."

In that case I'd suggest extraordinary rendition, followed by summary execution.

Well, maybe a little torture first, just for fun. Nothing excessive, only a few years worth.

Home sec puts McKinnon extradition on hold

Dangerous ground

What happened last time the USA said "Hand over that criminal", and the country in question said "Show us some evidence first".

I don't think we should dare to piss them off.

Look at the state of Afghanistan now.

UK Border Agency flip-flops on asylum seeker DNA tests

Madness

Just because the whole premise of the test is complete bollocks, does not mean that we should not use it to give brown foreigners a hard time. In fact it fits in perfectly with the rest of our logical and humane immigration policy.

MP urges Royal Mail rethink on postcode site takedown

Petition

No worries. Now that somebody has started a petition, the problem is as good as solved. Just look at all of the other famous successes of this method. Like er... and ah...

Bugger

Man banished from PayPal for showing how to hack PayPal

Paypal, security clowns

This would be the same PayPal that have trained their users to click on PayPal links in their email.

So now all mr. Phisher needs to do is send out a bogus PayPal email with a link to a bogus PayPal site, verified by a bogus PayPal certificate.

IE, Chrome, Safari duped by bogus PayPal SSL cert

PayPal BS

"We're working to see if there are any technical workarounds on the PayPal side which can be put into place,"

Oh yeah, how? The whole point of the fraudulent page is that it is not anything to do with PayPal.

We'll find a technical workaround for a transaction that never actually hits our site???

Australian Pirate Party sets sail

@Sandman

As a lifelong member of the Sex Pirate Green Party I'd just like to say that we hate the Green Pirate Sex Party. Bloody splitters!

Home Office stonewalls ID findings

Drumming up demand

I noticed recently, that they are asking anyone who appears to be under 25 for ID before they can buy alcohol. Presumably this is to make all of the young folks desperate to sign up. Machiavelli would be so proud.

Intel to EU watchdogs: 'It's AMD's fault'

Absolutely Fine

I expect that the fine is probably too low. It should work out at more than the profit they made over several years of illegal anti competitive behaviour to act as an effective deterrent.

New Guinea sex cult eyes bumper banana crop

Sounds plausible

Perhaps this would explain the recent glut of Essex bananas in the shops.

Cobain band mates denounce dead rocker's Guitar Hero gig

Smells like...

So, is this an example of the famous uncanny valley, where the avatar becomes more creepy the nearer to real it looks?

Church altar smites devout Catholic

Hail Loki

Conclusive proof that not only does God exist, but she has a seriously twisted sense of humour.