Posts by ian 22

Boffins computerize giant cyborg cockroaches

Re: Next step

I foresee a new YouTube genre: LOLroaches.

Dawn probe slips Vesta's grip, heads for icy dwarf planet

"has left the gravitational pull of the giant asteroid Vesta"

"has slipped the surly bonds of Vesta".

There, fixed that for you, and turned Vesta into a dominatrix to boot.

Arctic ice shrinks to ‘smallest in satellite era’ - NASA

Re: Percent

Richard, why are you reporting on north polar events ^W slow motion train wreck from the SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE? After reading that the southern pole is not melting away, I can almost hear you muttering "I'm all right Jack".

Work for the military? Don't be evil, says ethicist

Re: Why doesn't he stop writing?

Wait, what about the factory worker who builds the weapons? What about the miner who digs out the ore that will be refined into metal to build the weapons? What about etc, etc, etc?

All are complicit, or none are. There, how do you like that as an extreme statement? And yes, I have met people (young ones, admittedly) who espouse such positions.

NASA picks the target for Curiosity's first road trip

Mixed units

So one aspect of the Turing Test seems to involve incompetent Maths. Inability to juggle units or correctly compute 1 + 1 identifies a human being. Sad.

Did Mitt Romney really get 117,000 REAL Twitter followers in ONE DAY?

Re: Which planet did you fall off?

Hungering for Mitt's wit and wisdom? What deprived (should that be 'depraved') lives they lead.

Korean boffins discover secret to quick-charge batteries

Regenerative braking

Good point! Regen braking would capture far more energy with these batteries.

In the 1970s I converted a knackered old Karmann Ghia to electric power, using a surplus 120v aircraft generator/motor and 10 automotive lead-acid batteries. It had regenerative braking (in addition to the usual kind) recharging the batteries. However, as automobile batteries are not designed for fast charge/discharge cycles, dumping hundreds of amps into them brought them to a boil right smartly. The auto constantly smelled of acid and the batteries failed within a few months.

These new batteries likely could absorb the power but they would also require a bit of cooling.

NASA's $2.5bn Curiosity rover: An Apple PowerBook on wheels

Re: doh

And here I was thinking you were leading up to Three Dog Night's "One Is The Loneliest Number".

'Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one...'

Yeh, old and crazy before my time....

Curiosity landing live from NASA's JPL: How the drama unfolded

Chuffed

First images received and celebration in progress.

Well done!

'Sending timing data over cell network - what could go wrong?'

"media has been reporting in salacious detai"

Samsung have developed a new definition of porn or the legal staff requires replacement. The latter given the failure to submit evidence within the TWO YEARS they were allowed.

Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Bauernfrühstück v bacon sarnie

Re: That isn't proper bacon

Is that Jamón ibérico? What are those strange round objects to the left of the milk?

Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition, did you!

China denies US chopper tech espionage claim

All your IP are belong to us

"We do not spy."

They would say that, wouldn't they.

Girls tricked by STEAMY message: Webcam spyware student jailed

Re: pics or it didn't happen @Aaron Em

Cats have no operating principles. They are sodding bonkers and totally unpredictable.

If you imagine you understand them, well....

Java won the smartphone wars (and nobody noticed)

@Sean Timarco Baggaley

Not sure whether to up vote or down vote your post.

I'd up vote you for the remark on the horror that is C++, but down vote on the java critique. Loved java, hated C++, never found found sub classing a problem in my Java code, but have encountered C++ code with endless levels of subclasses.

C++ made me crazy and old before my time.

Olympics security cockup down to software errors - report

Again?

Computers are lazy buggers, and must be watched constantly. This latest is but one more example of improperly supervised computers running amok.

Replace them all with reliable human beings, I say.

Global warming: It's GOOD for the environment

@Big Ted

My thoughts exactly.

Uncontrolled oxidation is quite dangerous, causing house fires worldwide. We can control it by increasing the CO2 concentration in the atmosphere. Then houses will be as safe as .... Houses.

AGW is good for you!

Fujitsu cracks 278-digit crypto

Re: They should use my code

I see what you did there, Julius.

Amat Victoria Curam

China aims to redraw the petaflop graph with 100 Pflops in 2015

Tianhe?

I had read (can't be arsed to remember where) Tianhe was a glorified games machine. Or was that simply to keep the sheeple calm?

Ludicrously lucky teen survives spear through brain

Re: this chap...

Bad choice of friends? Low Chlormidian quotient? If 'tis better to be lucky than to be good, then perhaps this one is weak in the Force.

Can we say he is responsible for this "accident" at some existential level?

Re: I thought

So glad none of the deluxe options (speech, cognition, personality, etc.) were affected!

Microsoft takes on tablets with keyboard-equipped Surface

So like Apple products...

... yet so crap.

We're it claimed to be a new ultrabook, I could accept it. Otherwise too much cognitive dissonance.

US culture to spread worldwide by means of Kindle, not iPad

Title? Why do you discriminate against commoners?

Now the Germans can respond "If we had won, you wouldn't all be speaking English."

HBO 'sorry' for skewering Dubya

Re: Prince of Darkness...

Surely this is a reference to Lucas....

Space Station crew enter the Dragon

Astronaut humor

It appears these are astronauts, not comedians. The jokes are out of this world :-p

Self-driving Volvos cover 200km of busy Spanish motorway

Adjust for national temperament

And here I was thinking these were Spanish designed auto Autos. Following a leader is what I'd expect of German designs, Italian designs much less so.

Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Mealy pudding v migas

@Anon 1434GMT: Tu padre!

Palabras necias menso. Your foolish words betray your ignorance. Chiles are of many varieties and some are mild enough for your pallid palate, but it is fiery food for a fierce people and perhaps not for you.

Mexican beer is of the best, but it is true that in the early days of beer in cans in Mexico, beer would rust the interior of the can imparting an undesired taste. To eliminate that taste, a bit of lime was added to the beer beginning a drinking tradition still practiced in Mexico.

Re: Mexican deathmatch

Oralè cabròn. Now you're talking! Spanish food is sadly lacking in flavor, and that essential ingredient, CHILE! Sorry escoses, but Scottish cooking doesn't even qualify as food to my taste buds.

Suet is essential to refried beans and to flour tortillas, but otherwise not necessary. Likewise I suspect Spanish (I.e. Gachupin) chorizo is not up to my standards for flavor. Breakfast burritos forever! Washed down with either Modelo or Cuautemoc cerveza!

Red faces abound as boffins build gamma ray lens

Theoretical physics?

Doubtful. Engineering assumptions more likely.

iPad chargers can open beer bottles

Real men don't use openers

Real men open bottled beer with their teeth.

Arrr!

Intergalactic speed demon stars bid Milky Way farewell

Re: "....about ten million years."

So old this news?

Boffins cross atom-smasher streams, 'excited' beauty pops into being

Brilliant!

"less ambitious red lines on the dial – though these have gradually crept upwards"- have they turned it up to 11 yet?

Brilliant work (I think)! I'll drink to that.

Higher ground: plants seeking colder temperatures

Botanists part of the AGW conspiracy now?

We'll be rejecting all disciplines before long,

China hits back at US cyber snooping allegations

Restrict satellite sales to Iran, Norks?

Shock! The Norks have $/€/£/¥ to purchase satellites? We've sold satellites to the Iranians?

It all seems a bit... counterfactual.

German scientists link two labs with ‘universal quantum network’

Einstein thought so, too

Einstein isn't responsible. He was not enthused by quantum mechanical implications, viz. his snarky term 'spooky action'.

US job creation stalls in March

As of Friday 6th April 2012 22:32 GMT, I agree with all of the above

Ironically, I remember when computers were to make us all redundant, and yet huge numbers of us are employed as servants to the machines.

While we were distracted by fears of cybernetic overlords, the banksters whisked our jobs away.

Same overlords as ever.

Ice age end was accelerated by CO₂

WTF?

El Reg supports CO2-based global warming? Prepare the faggots, for surely there will be burnings at the stake!

Arizona bill makes it illegal to 'annoy or offend' online

Re: And books?

Stendhal 's "Charterhouse of Parma" is completely annoying. Can I sue him in Arizona?

Danger w^WYanks!

Nature ISN'T fragile nor a bossy mother-in-law - top eco boffin

Nature isn't a bossy mother-in-law

Ask any farmer, and he will tell you nature is a bitch on wheels with PMS!

And if Mother is in a bad mood long enough, city folk will learn of it.

Immediately after Republican Texas Governor Rick Perry claimed no global warming, Dallas was struck by unprecedented tornados, closely missing an important airport. Thank Jebus there is no global warming!

Sorry lads,if Southern USian republican politicos deny global climate change you are clearly on the wrong side!

But what is the "balanced view"?

All that the ecomovement produced are nature preserves, museums for tourists to trundle through and marvel at what the world was in the Eocene. Does the balanced view mean simply smaller nature preserves?

100 EARTH-LIKE PLANETS orbit stars WITHIN 30 LIGHT-YEARS!

Re: Fascinating. The thought strikes me that some people are probably............

I AM made in the image of my maker, down to the color of my chitin and the length of my palms. You primates however....

Confirmed: iPad 3 runs hotter than iPad 2

Re: Gosh. Well, well, well

A 5 degree increase? At the rate these are spreading they soon will be a major factor in global warming!

Russia plans manned moon shot by 2030

Re: The race to the moon started when?

Incorrect. The Lunakhod rovers were intended to survey locations for manned landings (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lunokhod_programme).

Mega squid use HUMONGOUS eyes to spot ravenous sperm whales

Stephen Fry explains it to you

A large eye is needed to see large things. A whale is quite large so squid need large eyes to see them properly. Stars and planets are very very large, which is why telescopes are so very

large.

LOHAN to straddle meaty titanium rod

Re: Swingers Delight

Kitchen utensil aside, I've no experience with Teflon. Will water ice adhere to Teflon? If not, a rail should be superior to a rod, eliminating potential wing-truss contact.

Ten... e-cars and hybrids

+1

We plan to purchase a Leaf or equivalent in 2 - 3 years. The savings in mechanic fees will be banked for the day the battery needs replacing. £50 per month should do nicely.

El Reg appoints Special Projects Burro

Musical meme

Surely this relates to the Flying Burrito Brothers? Not that I can recall anything of their music - I can't remember why...

NASA snaps show Arctic melt

Re: Oh well

So no children (or grandchildren) for you then? Seems a bit of justice.

Apple: We never said Siri would actually work in the UK

Is Siri limited to actual English? Damn.

We Scots arrre (err, are) NOT PLEASED!

May ur lum reek wi' ither folks coal. Comprehend that, Siri!

China churns out homemade aircraft for global travel DOMINATION

Boeing, Airbus, et al

Have they registered trademarques in China?

"So sorry, pay us $5,000,000,000 to go away, imperialist western running dogs."

LOHAN flashes fantastical flying truss

Re: Horizontal

A technical question: will the lass appear in gold lamè?