* Posts by ian 22

861 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009


FYI: Mind how you go. We're more or less oblivious to 75% of junk in geosynchronous orbits around Earth

ian 22

However, urine is not shit. /pedantically

Huawei mobile mast installed next to secret MI5 data centre in London has 7 years to do whatever it is Huawei does

ian 22

Re: Redacted

Is yours the one in the Faraday cage?

And it's off! NASA launches nuke-powered, laser-shooting, tank Perseverance to Mars to search for signs of life

ian 22

War of the Worlds?

It seems an entire FLEET of spacecraft are sailing towards Mars. Some armed with lasers and nuclear engines. It’s not "Mars Attacks", but Mars Attacked.

Microsoft president exits US govt's digital advisory board as tech leaders quit over Trump

ian 22

Oh God...

Dear God, if we should impeach Trump, please send us a sign. Perhaps blot out the sun sometime next week...

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

ian 22

Re: The power of suggestion

In the (very) early days of the intertubes, one experimental implementation of password management *did* allow backspace as a character. Caused no end of problems.

Texas says 'howdy' to completely driverless robo-cars on its roads

ian 22

Governator Abbot?

Now that Abbot has thrown the state wide open for lethal autonomous automotive weapons, will the state legislature mandate painting bulls-eyes on the backs of pedestrians?

The developer died 14 years ago, here's a print out of his source code

ian 22

¿Y que?

Some of the most obsolete code (40 years old) continues to run- originally written in Cobol. I hate Cobol.

Your 'intimate personal massager' – cough – is spying on you

ian 22

Re: Security research. Yeah, that's what it was

Snark! The largest USian supplier of sexy lingerie sends most of its products to Bible Belt states!

Human drives exceed religious regulation.

China's moon rover dies of extreme old age, after two-and-a-half years

ian 22

Mixed emotions

Well done PRC! Two years!

On the other hand, damned Chinese batteries. In other news, I noted the large number of Chinese autos on a recent visit to Cuba. On asking a local about them, I was told they had a reputation for being "fragile".

How many zero-day vulns is Uncle Sam sitting on? Not as many as you think, apparently

ian 22

"We know nothing (at least very little)."

I'd expect them to say that.

Silicon Valley's contribution to the US Republican Convention: Gayness

ian 22

More dangerous than Britebart? Isn't Milo Annopheles associated with Britebart?

ian 22


Translation: Troll Long; Didn't Read.

Bomb-disposal robot violently disposes of Dallas cop-killer gunman

ian 22

Re: @YetAnotherLocksmith ... It makes sense, but...

Ironic it happened in Dallas? Why ironic? Wasn't Dallas where Kennedy was assassinated? Perhaps Dallas can claim the title "Sniper City".

Scientists want you to know how to have sex with a hyper-long dong

ian 22

Re: Hyper-long and quick

And if righty or lefty, does it matter if the beetles are from north of the equator or from south of it?

Mobile phone app replaces Congressional TV as Democrats stage sit-in

ian 22


Congress usually responds to massacres with a moment of silence, or actually, years of silence. This latest might be better.

Cats understand the laws of physics, researchers claim

ian 22

Re: Alternative Explanations

Spot on. Anyone dropping a cat in a gravity field has noted their control of that gravity field. They *always* land on their paws! QED.

Unless the cat is dead (or is it alive?) or both. Dammed cats.

SpaceX winning streak meets explosive end

ian 22


For the descriptively challenged, the rockets are Musk's so he has the privilege of defining nomenclature.

Build yer own rocket and name anything ya wants.

Lester Haines: RIP

ian 22

Sorry mate, you will be missed.

Chinese space station 'out of control', will do best firework impression

ian 22

Was the space station retired before or after they lost control?

It's not us, it's you: Boffins ditch supercomputers in lust for new materials

ian 22

So many qubits!

Almost as many as in Noah's Ark device. Will we have another deluge soon?

Oh, sorry. Wrong type of device.

Q: Is it wrong to dress as a crusader for an England match?

ian 22


Chain mail and cross are acceptable, however swords, maces, daggers, sabers, crossbows, trebuchets, and sundry other mediavel (I'm sure that's misspelled, but I can't be arsed to correct it) weaponry are not.

So have at it lads!

Shakes on a plane: How dangerous is turbulence?

ian 22

@Alan Brown

That explains the explanation of the Beaufort Scale atop Mount Victoria. When I was there, it was a calm day and I viewed the display with merely dispassionate interest.

SpaceX: We'll land on Mars in 2018 (cough, with NASA's help)

ian 22

Re: SUV sized capsule you say?

Many homeless folk in the USA live in SUVs for years. What is the problem?

Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

ian 22

I was wondering why the Russians were threatening Texas and France. Texas I can understand, but France?

Researcher arrested after reporting pwnage hole in elections site

ian 22

Re: Breaking into computers you don't own..

You gotta unnerstand, this is Florida home of the hanging chad and other Republican defense strategies. No doubt this lad interrupted the Governor's plan for reelection, and now he's going to pay for it.

Mines the one with the extra ballots in the pocket.

Watch it again: SpaceX's boomerang rocket lands on robo-sea-barge

ian 22

Re: Wait, what?

Thank you. I understand now. I think....

ian 22

Wait, what?

Are you all sure this isn't another NASA moon landing hoax? And if not, why not?

Woman charged with blowing AU$4.6m overdraft on 'a lot of handbags'

ian 22

Heads they win, tails you lose. Banksters can go to hell.

Engineer uses binary on voting bumpf to flag up Cali election flaws

ian 22


This didn't work so well for the Athenians! They tended to Ostracise (yes, that term originated that long ago) their best people. Granted, the process was used well before 5 BCE, but same principle.

Auto erotic: Self-driving cars will let occupants bonk on the go

ian 22
Paris Hilton

Mobile Bordellos!

Any number of vehicles can be outfitted to suit any taste! The mobile Turkish harem, the mobile B&D dungeon, etc. Charge by the mile/Km rather than 15 minute increment. No need for a pimp or overpriced room (or driver).

£s in!

Galileos 11 and 12 live for your (imminent) navigating pleasure

ian 22

Re: Tracking...

You think you have privacy? Of course they would want you to think that....

ian 22
Big Brother

Fold your tinfoil hat such in stealth shapes avoiding track.

Another failed merger, Carly? Ted Cruz to bring in ex-HP boss Fiorina as running mate

ian 22

Re: What's wrong with getting older?

I've wondered if Trump might not be color blind, and none of his flunkies had the temerity to point out that orange hair isn't a thing.

As a famous member of the Bush II administration said 'we make our own reality'. Yes, and it seems one not congruent with everyone else's. A bit like the emperor's new clothes.

Humans – 1 Robots – 0: Mercedes deautomates production lines

ian 22

Re: The fourth international revolution

Ironically, Stalin decided computers were un-Marxist, thus delaying the revolution in the revolution.

Shares down?! But, but, but ... Apple just made $50bn – that's the way the Cookie grumbles

ian 22

Re: Must be the end of the world

By real value you must mean 'wisdom', 'love', etc., i.e. nothing tangible or readily fungible. Things corporations have no interest in. AmIright?

ian 22

Must be the end of the world

Apple have hoovered up most of the world's money.

NASA eyes stadium-sized orb launch: Part 3

ian 22

Wanaka is a lovely place.....

But why Wanaka? Seems a bit out of the way.

NZ hotel bans cyclists' Lycra-clad loins

ian 22

This is the New Zealand I know and love

It is my belief that Queen Vicky never died, she just moved to New Zealand...

French scream sacré bleu! as US govt gives up the internet to ICANN

ian 22

Re: What is needed...

Governments really don't add anything...

And yet the Internet was a government program in the beginning. So many government programs have been coopted by private industry braying how government is wasteful. Well yes, it does things private industry fears to embark upon, not seeing beyond the end of the balance sheet.

We are all so impoverished by government spending....

Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

ian 22

The shape of the things that came

Yes, AI will creep in on velvet cat's feet, much like mist. Call customer support and hear "My name is Bill. How can I help you?". Is that a human at the other end? How would you know?

AI need not be obvious like your self-driving car.

Fifth time's the charm as SpaceX pops satellite into orbit

ian 22

Re: Missing the point...

"Do it right or just don't bother..."

"Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity..."

It seems to become expert at something requires 10,000 hours of doing it over and over. Based on that, it does appear that expecting a different result (I.e. Expertise) is not insane at all.

IT boss gets 30 months of porridge for trashing ex-employer's servers

ian 22

Re: Seems appropriate

Walk? Surely they'll float away on their huge yachts, or fly away in their private jets. Walking is for peasants.

China has a chip to fry with y'all: Wants its own chip smarts and fabs

ian 22

All it takes is oodles of Renminbi

I've always wondered why China didn't purchase a load of FABs and begin riding the technology escalator. They certainly had the cash - more then than now.

Oklahoma bloke cuffed for Chrimbo caprine coupling

ian 22


El Reg really ought to warn us before springing lascivious photos on us. Completely NSFW!

'Shut down the parts of internet used by Islamic State masterminds'

ian 22
Big Brother

Re: Well that's a good solution

Republicans are idiots. Texas Republicans are demented idiots.

They all look up to Big Brother, as long as he oppresses nonRepublicans.

TERROR in ORBIT: Dodgy rocket burp biffs International Space Station off track

ian 22

Re: True "Big Red Button" story....

IBM S/370 mainframes had a Big Red Button on their console, meant for emergency power off. I was warned that pushing it would also destroy some hardware bits, so no touchee!

US Navy grabs old-fashioned sextants amid hacker attack fears

ian 22

Re: Computer?

No one's mentioned inertial guidance and dead reckoning. I've not kept up with ICBM technology, but as I recall, they used optical gyroscopes to achieve targeting accuracy to within several meters.

If we can entrust doomsday to inertial guidance, surely the Navy can trust it.

Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

ian 22

Re: Heavy science

Arr, we'll all walk the Planck, and wish it were longer than it be!

US Treasury: How did ISIS get your trucks? Toyota: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ian 22

Re: Stones and Glass Houses @cirby

The model outlined by the OP is just a refinement of the one developed by Hiram Maxim, inventor of a particularly deadly machine gun prior to WWI. He was having trouble selling it to the US Army, when a friend suggested he sell it to the Europeans, as they all hated one another. Voila! Maxim licensed his gun to all sides in WWI to his extreme profit.



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