Posts by Steve 26

Naked intruder cracks one off in Florida rampage drama

Re: "drink the contents from a wet-dry vacuum cleaner"

So you understand why he started masturbating on the floor when she fired her .38?

Dr Alex Moulton: 'An inspiration for generations of engineers'

Re: I took the opportunity

Much less than £100 - all you need to lower a Mini is a hacksaw, and some big washers when you overdo it.

Ten... Father's Day gifts

dilapidated shopping centre in Reading

Same as ANY shopping centre in Reading

Police cuff hundreds in £7.3 MILLION phone scam

You're a cynic.

Suspected freetloaders to face piracy letters in 2014

43 managers, one worker?

If I read this correctly, there are 43 managers and one person that does the work (Workforce: Emma de-la-Haye), sounds about right for a government department.

Mammoths, sabre-tooths MURDERED by second giant space boulder

Re: "cosmic impact"

Most likely yes.

Eric Schmidt flicks INTERSTELLAR TOWEL at top tech fair

Re: Screw the technology

Would rather have the triple breasted whore myself.

Belkin Power Pack 4000

Cheaper to buy a spare battery

...much cheaper

Blighty's gov to spunk up to £2.9b on crim-stalking tech

It would be cheaper to hire 25,000 people to follow the crims on the basis of £2.9bn/25,000 = £116,000 each over 6 years, = £19,333 p/a

Steerable bullet aims for mass army deployment

Tin foil hats

In other news, the Taliban show the first practical use of tin foil hats.

American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Wrong hole

Having seen a few American grumble flicks I think they may confused as to which hole they should be investigating.

London Fire Brigade issues voracious tambourine warning

two fire engines packed with 10 firefighters

That will be one fireman to remove the ring and nine to have a good laugh

HTC sinks $309m into audio tech from Dr Dre

Speaker

How about putting a decent speakerin your phones instead?

HTC's UK repair centre suffering long delays, confusion

No complaints from me

They fixed my overheating HTC Desire in 7 days including outbound and return delivery, can't complain about that really. Ok, I can, it is a known problem with a batch of phones and the honest thing to do would to have issued a recall.

Google Glamour girl joins Schmidt Privy Council

Bionic Eye?

Look at the right eye - is that a google camera transplanted in there? Or was her father Isaiah Mayer?

1 in 10 Americans prefer colonoscopies to PC security

Hardly a surprise

As anyone who's watched a few porn films will agree, we all know they prefer it up the ar$e.

Mine's a thumbs up, obviously.

New Jersey car prang woman blames carjacking

Warning next time please

Ye gods, that gave me a fright, what did she look like *before* the car crash?

Boffins turn Bunsen burners on Frank Skinner

Greenie alert

Looks like some greenie twittered his chums to get his mates to vote for his post. How sad, we're used to those tactics though.

DoH puts brakes on Summary Care Record

Call it what it is

It might help if, instead of calling it something vague and stupid like 'Summary Care Record', they called it something descriptive like 'Electronic Medical History'. Or even better, Computer Health Record Of National Insurance Contributor, CHRONIC for short.

Old PS3s locked out of PlayStation Network

Oh no, world stops spinning

Hoards of spotty teenagers forced to enter into conversation with real people - what a shocker.

German dentists develop 'painless' plasma tooth-blaster

.001% back up to strength in about 6 hours

...in ideal circumstances, since they divide every 20 minutes

Sony Ericsson intros tree-themed eco phones

human curvature

I'm glad SE have added 'human curvature' to their new phone, because if my experience with the C905 is common I expect a lot of people will want to tell them to shove it up their Ar$e.

UK fatties demand 'hate crime' status for lardo-baiting

Increased Mortality

It always makes me laugh to see 'increased mortality rates'. It's 100% for everyone. Are obese people going to die twice?

iPhone saves woman from bear

Brick

I imagine if you chuck ANY brick sized object at a bear it's going to think twice about attacking.

Egyptians uptight about 'Artificial Virginity Hymen'

Illicit relations

"This product encourages illicit sexual relations. Islamic culture forbids these relations except within the confines of marriage"

So if you are a Muslim and married, it's okay to have illicit sexual relations? Where do I sign up?

Facebook kills 'Kill Obama' poll

Brown

Is there a poll for 'Is Gordon Brown a one-eyed Scottish Idiot'?

Answer:

A. Yes

or

B. Yes

Malta pair charged over illicit Playmobil trade

Translation:

"being sold in bags at ridiculously cheap prices which undermined legitimate retailers".

Translation: Being sold in bags at reasonable prices undermining legitimate retailers ability to sell pieces of moulded plastic at ridiculously inflated prices.