* Posts by Charley 1

53 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2009


El Reg iPhone app rated a flaccid 12+

Charley 1

I am 12

and what is this?

Student accused of posting bogus coupons to 4chan

Charley 1


"He posted some dodgy coupons on a dodgy website where eveyone knew they were counterfeit"

True. If he'd posted real coupons he'd have left himself open to a charge under the Trades Description Act.

US lawmakers eye internet 'kill switch'

Charley 1

That would be tabled

by the Chair?

WikiLeaks re-taunts feds with US Amazon mirrors

Charley 1


Would your grandparents have been happy if the newspapers had published all the plans for D-Day in late May 1944? Oh, I suppose "that's different". I've got news for you. It isn't.

It is if your grandparents were German.

BOFH: Pepper-packing bot plot

Charley 1

Good God

Sometimes the Reg scares me.

Maybe a railgun powered grenade launcher?

Dead baby taunting troll feels wrath of law

Charley 1


Trolling is a science.

NZ woman pays motorised tribute to A RYAN 1

Charley 1

She's still driving it?


* Licence expired 1 month 2 days ago on 31st July 2010.

* WOF expired 1 month 2 weeks ago on 19th July 2010.

* Last WOF inspection did not pass.

Sounds like she's got more problems than what the plates says.

Maybe her ex was her mechanic?

Charley 1

Just over 4 years, actually.

* Make: FORD


* Year: 1976

* Main colour: White

* Second colour: Black

* Vehicle type: Passenger Car/Van

* Body style: Light Van

* No of seats: 5

* CC rating: 2,000cc

* Fuel type: Petrol

Plate Effective date

SF564 1993, September 23rd

MOTSUX 1989, September 12th

ENEMY 1989, May 17th

Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha

Charley 1
Thumb Up

And I thought Clarke and Dawe were good,

till I read that.

Thanks for that, Bugalugs.

MOON SHRINKING FAST - shock NASA discovery

Charley 1

Give that man a pint.

"Admittedly, romantic hand-in-hand evening strolls may become a trifle less satisfying for some, but on the other hand the werewolf menace will be appreciably reduced."

Bugger me, Lewis! Were you having a liquid lunch with Lester when you wrote this? I'm still chuckling about it 1/2 an hour later.

Conroy, Family First isolated on Oz internet filter

Charley 1


so, he didn't just hit Ctrl+Alt+Del > End Task then?

Should your data centre look more like Google’s?

Charley 1


"f*ck load of noise from servers and administrators..."

Sounds like pretty much any government you'd care to name.

Just noticed it's Thursday in Oz. I wonder if Clarke and Dawe has been posted yet?

Charley 1


We might be able to pro-actively architect something out of it for you though, going forward.

PARIS pumps up a Mk 2 release mechanism

Charley 1


"This is daftness on a scale of painting a Robin Reliant up as a radio-controlled space shuttle..."

You'll be giving Lester ideas. I could handle a paper plane landing on the roof if things go tits up. Not so sure about a three wheeled car.

Wikileaks publishes encrypted 'insurance' file

Charley 1

This article has been great bait

judging by the number of new commenters who have signed up to post on it.

Operation Megaphone anyone?

Charley 1

You know,

if it hadn't been for all the ad hominem attacks in your post, I might have read the whole thing.

Want cheap international calls? Pay foocall for the privilege

Charley 1
Paris Hilton

Got a good place they could put there server.

Have they considered running it from Rockall?

Then there'd be Foocall on Rockall.

Paris because she knows Foocall.

Chaos surrounds New Zealand iPhone 4 day

Charley 1

Hundreds of thousands

Only hundreds who are silly enough to want a Jesusphone.

Heck, Vodaphone are having a hard time getting SMS working right lately. God forbid they start messing with a phone that dies if you hold it wrong while txting.

Russians quizzed over parasailing donkey

Charley 1

Why does this remind me of

WKRP's Turkey Drop episode?


"This man must be stopped, before he promotes again."

Cops taser Somerset chap's nether regions

Charley 1

Results in accidental discharge.

A subheading is required and must contain stuff.

Charley 1

Re: BMW Indicators.

Not the first time this has been posted, but I enjoyed it.


Yes, I drive a BMW and have a sense of humour.

The Register comment guidelines 2010

Charley 1

Looks Ok so far.

Can't really quibble with most of it. Just common sense really. Just a couple of points:

1. Titles optional would be good. Unfortunately most of us proles can't even begin to be compared with El Reg's headline writers. I still chuckle about the story on the roads in the Netherlands that was subheaded "Dutch traffic unclogged".

2. Any idea how I would be able to navigate back to this story? It comes up as "site news" which seems to be a black-hole that can be only found by going to the beginning of the article and clicking under the author's name, which is a bit recursive. Nothing in the header bar to give a hint either.

3. Looking back over My Posts, I can see why some posts were rejected and am surprised by some that were accepted. And then further surprised by some that were rejected. While I can see that mentioning something that happened to one of the Beatles in Japan about 40 years ago would probably be labelled "Libellous" and then a discussion about whether the truth is libellous would be a waste of your esteemed publication's time, it may give commentards an opportunity to rephrase/rethink/calm down a little and try a second time. A "No discussion entered into" and an ignoring of anyone who tried to enter into discussion may work.

I'm sure the ODFO button could be macroed to label different sorts of rejection such as Libellous, Repeated Point, Not Funny, Rascist/Sexist/etc W*nker et al.

4. Strike/Bold/Italic good. Anchored links, not so much. Over use, see 3. above.

Good to see you're keeping things fresh and listening to your readers. Especially about that grey on grey on grey page listing.


Underground tunnel complexes FOUND ON MOON

Charley 1

Of course I do

and they're 12 foot tall blood drinking lizards.

FBI hunt gun-waving, skateboarding bank robber

Charley 1

That anything like

a paisley bandanna that's coloured green?

Secret ancient code, basis of all modern civilisation, cracked

Charley 1

Minus the unicyle

and the introducing of gravity to a bit of S&M, you'd probably just say "We knocked the bastard off."

BBC grabs stock photo of own building

Charley 1

Well, from the new image name,

namely tvc595.jpg, I'm guessing they have another 594 of them lying around they couldn't be arsed to look for.

Observer columnist in online porn mixup

Charley 1


Posts by Obviously!

All because the average user has no idea what they are doing..... → #

Posted Tuesday 29th June 2010 10:44 GMT

>In Notorious Kraken botnet rises from the ashes

>Sorry its not good enough to cry that tech should be available to all.

>If you dont have the faintest idea, you shouldnt be allowed to surf.

>We don't let drivers without a licence on our roads!

But it's Ok to write articles about it?

Charley 1

Making things up is perfectly acceptable.

>"For gods sake most people in this country cant tie their own shoe laces, never mind expecting them to know this."

And if they read the paper this appeared in, they never will.

I suppose that it's perfectly acceptable for newspapers to make things up if they don't understand them.

Problem is, you let something like this pass, what else do you let pass? Invading $country was to find WMDs? Stop Al Quaeda? Bring democracy to the Freedom loving peoples of the Middle East? Pinch a shedload of oil?

Seen it happen before.

Bullfighter cuffed for lack of cojones

Charley 1

You're right.

It is an emotive way to put it.

Charley 1

What a bunch of poofs El Reg's readers have become.

Is PETA doing a raid on our comments board?

While I've never been to a bull fight, much like most of the commentards so far, growing up on a beef farm I know that those buggers are big, nimble and quick. And ornery and cantankerous.

If you annoy one of them enough (eg by looking at it, not looking at it, breathing, holding your breathe, whatever is liable to piss it off that day) it'll have you. I don't have a brother who hasn't been chased up a tree, over a fence or got to duel it out with one. The fact we're all still here is more down to good luck than good management.

Get a bull in the wild (or even on a farm) and they'll do that for fun. Our Spanish brethren and their descendants have managed to find a way for both humans and bulls to do something they enjoy, though not in the case of the articles subject I'll admit, and entertain a crowd at the same time.

Next you'll all be calling to have boxing banned.

US Senator wants Internet seizure rights

Charley 1

Don't forget he also said:

If your vote mattered, they wouldn't let you do it.

The World's best World Cup Calendar (maybe)

Charley 1

Could be that

being a Spanish website and (time in Madrid) = (time in Cape Town), they figured it wouldn't matter.

Sneaky bin chipping still in the bag for UK.gov

Charley 1

If they're like the ones we have

You'd just pop the RFID chip in or out of the chip nest (under the rim near the lid. Always wondered why those rings were there, didn't you?)

PARIS pops down to QinetiQ

Charley 1

Perhaps simpler still

Using this idea but without the need for razor blades and fishing lines:


A Tupperware or similar container with a press on lid.

Semi-inflated balloon.


Container or lid (or both) perforated to allow pressure to equalise.

Container attached to lifting balloon.

Insert semi-inflated balloon into container.

Attach lid to plane and seal container with semi-inflated balloon inside.


When pressure causes balloon to expand enough to pop lid from container, separation has been achieved.

Potential Issues:

Not sure what container would be best. Perhaps old plastic 35mm film canister?

Also not sure if having lid attached to plane is within percentage of craft made of paper tolerances, but if you're attaching all sorts of electronics I can't see it being a problem.

Man jailed for sex with donkey and horse

Charley 1

That is not how you make a mule.

That is all.

Mobile phone users have fewer brain tumours

Charley 1

Anyone who uses a cellphone for 30 minutes a day

probably deserves brain cancer.

Boffins warn on car computer security risk

Charley 1

Most of that I've had done.

Sorted out the 'not starting in Park' problem on one vehicle lately just by bending a metal bracket.

The door locks and auto lights? Every time I buy a car my autosparky goes round and removes those and a couple of other inconveniences (along with installing a better interior light etc.)

The black box stuff can't be much harder.

Jacqui Smith and Charles Clarke shown the door

Charley 1

Sheffield returned Blunkett?

Obviously just blind loyalty.

Pirate Bay co-founder hopes it will die

Charley 1

This would include a version of Risk?

Conquest was hardly an original idea, being yet another Risk clone. I have the crippled version on my machine here.

The main reason I don't have the full version is that I don't have a credit card or a paypal account. If I found a full copy on TPB I might be tempted to down load it, then again I might not. Either way, it's not a lost sale to you.

Getting all het up and emotional over it isn't going to solve anything, any more than the Sony guy's attitude did. Why not put the crippled version up as a torrent and increase your exposure, which might make you extra sales?

Either way, from what I have seen you do run a good service and I have enjoyed playing the game you wrote. Although you would like to take money off me that I could otherwise use to feed my family, if I ever met you in person I would buy you a beer.


California's 'Zero Energy House' is actually massive fossil hog

Charley 1

Especially with a wood burning stove

that you can use to heat your house, cook on and, with a wet-back installed, even heat your hot water.

Of course, if the goal is to be energy neutral it's a pity about the energy inputs required to supply the wood. Having just brought in a couple of tractor loads that we chainsawed up and split to keep us going over a couple of months of winter, I can state from experience that you can't create energy that way.

Britain's bingers out-boozed by Irish

Charley 1

5 drinks is a binge??

"Some 34 per cent of Brits reported having five or more drinks in one sitting - the report's definition of a binge - at least once a week. "

Sounds more like an aperitif to me.

Reg reader tips for ERP success

Charley 1

They're the companies I love

Tons of potential being held back by owners who are out of their depth and unwilling lose face and hire decent management?

One of two scenarios there. Either:

a. They decide it's too much work for too little return and come up with a price for the business that is reasonable, based on current earnings.

b. They are too proud to admit defeat and I get to buy it off the Official Assignee for even less.

The solution to me coming along is what everyone so far seems to be saying. Get your management (whether it's the box ticking level or all the way up in the boardroom.) working properly by employing or training them right.

Then look at how you can improve their productivity with better tools.

Charley 1

Management problems? Get an ERP.

Granted I pretty much skimmed this and looked at the pretty pictures, but what struck me immediately was that if you are going to have trouble with an install, it's usually things that good management can keep under control. After all, that's their job.

In the case of an ERP install, apparently they don't, which leads me to believe that the majority of cases where an ERP has been installed, it is to cover up for crap management.

The more practical solution would be to can the project, sack the buggers and hire decent managers.

Bill Gates goes (mini) nuclear

Charley 1
Thumb Up

So where's the problem?

Leave it down there and don't send anyone down to look at it. Problem solved.

NZ internet filter goes live - gov forgets to tell public

Charley 1

Well, prohibition worded with marijuana

Oh, wait.

No, it didn't.

Silicon Valley hypegasm for miracle shoebox powerplants

Charley 1

A practical way.

"there is NO practical way to store electricity, not even for a little while."

What about using the excess electricity to pump water uphill back behind a hydro dam?

Gulag awaits Russian Olympic trainers

Charley 1

And not only that

But during WW1 German soldiers raped nuns and ate babies, according to what my old Granny was told.

Stats boss slams Tory use of crime figures

Charley 1

As Oscar Wilde said

"He uses statistics as a drunk uses a lamp post. For support rather than illumination"

Think Aussie election rules are draconian? Look at the UK's

Charley 1


It's a poultry issue.

Teletext toddles off as licence taken

Charley 1

New Zealand Teletext stills works

So, if you're really missing it, you can always come down south.

Of course, as it is used by the Totalisator Agency Board to display the odds and placings of the horse and dog races, it'll be with us for a bit till the TAB works out another way.