Posts by Fozzy 1

Hubble probes deepest universe

I am...

quite simply humbled

.

.

I think I'll go and quietly contemplate my insignifiance in the universe

BlackBerrys get stuck on NFC

definitely lunch time

I read NFC as KFC. I thought cool getting a Blackberry with a bucket of chicken, sure as hell beats the crappy plastic toy with the kiddies meal

Hard drives cop flak from .50 cal incendiary round

A more useful

test or as someone else suggested a new stndard measurement for thickness, would be to see how many iphone fanbois the Armalite AR-50 could penerate (don't forget to use the iphone as the target)

IBM lab builds computerized cat brain

SSSoooo

Rather than a system tray there will be a kitty litter tray. Strangely appropriate, I think, considering the crap that gets dumped in there nowadays

US data firm blows s**t out of server

Hang on a Sec!

A group of gun totting rednecks are able to storm into our data centre, start shootin' the shit of everything in sight and according to KeepGoing.biz, I am supposed to happy in the knowledge that the company will be able to contyinue to function. Fuck that, fuck the servers, the backups and the company I'm getting the hell out of dodge

Cheerleaders in danger from cheerleading

<title needed>

For a split second I thought I had reached a zen like state of understanding in the simple logic of this research report .

It was just a brief momment of disappointment when i realised that it was just my preverted mind, constructing some interesting images of a dozen blonde girls tumbling around on each other bom-boms and skirts flying everywhere

No need for pictures or playmobil I'll just refer to images above thanks

Aussie censor wants power to ban iPhone apps

Piss Off

and hands off my iboobs. They're mine and I'll jiggle them any way I want.

Vegemite unscrews lid on iSnack2.0

Bastards!

I've boycotted the product since they decided to jack up the price and reduce the jar size. claiming once again that it was due to consumer demand. What bullshit what moron would want to pay more for less

Florida cops cage 'Dracula'

No the best one I've seen....

Was of a break and enter merchant who had been caught by the home owner, who decided that he could not trust the legal system to appropriately punish the miscreant. So after hog tying the the prep up he scribed the word "THIEF" onto his forehead. 3 months later in court apparently the scar was still there.

Now that's summary justice

Google's move into mortgages spawns lawsuit

@ all Above comments

Yet again we see the legtimate business actions of google getting spewed upon. Doesn't everyone realise that the Google's primary business statement is to "Do no Evil". To even suggest that they are using search and click traffic for their own personal and business greed is simply ....

BWHAHAHA

Damn almost made it. Even had to choke down the rising bile a few times too.

US music publishers sue online lyrics sites

See Kids

This is what happens when you drop too much acid or have a dodgy chemist. You become an administrator in the music industry and ultimately a laughing stock to the web community

Boffins build World's tiniest 'laser'

@Alan 6 And I shall calll them.....

Ah Screw it. I'm still hung over from the weekend to think of anything clever

El Reg space paper plane christened Vulture 1

where the Hell

is Macgyver when you need him.

Brit diplomats' mission to expose Scientology's 'diploma mill'

@Christopher Rogers

Not everyone, no. You forgot to add that it will be fought as a WWE cage match Where the Muslims will be tag teamed with the latest neo-nazi movement and the Scientologists will be paired with what is left of the christian religion

LET's GET READY TO RUMMMBLE !!!!!

Jupiter takes a serious knock

Nothing to fear

It was just one of our IT projects that had veered off course again.

Your lucky, the disturbance in Jupiter’s atmosphere is nothing compared to the shit storm it created here in the office Should clear up in a couple of days though

Oz Firewall still standing after inconclusive filter trial

FFS

Most days I can barely suppress the rage having to deal with retards that can't work out which end of the keyboard they should be using, but I'm about to go supernova when I read about fuckwits like this.

Now I find myself living in a province of china rather than a democratric society that enjoys the freedom of speech

CONROY suck on this

Bloke uses nail clippers to go roundhead

<insert title here>

Even the macosists reading this would be thinking

"Ah, No... No fucking way. Nailing my nuts to a wooden baord. Yeah Ok.

Circumsicise myself with nail clippers Nope, not a chance

NASA reacquires original Moon landing footage

WOW

Either we have been overrun by a hoard of trolls. or i need to quickly sink all my money into a new start up company (maker of tin foil hats) personally delivered by company staff (postal workers are all aliens don't you know)

Barclays IT systems have a strop

@ could easily be a BT issue

Whihc bank is that? I'd love to have a crack at an old fraud trick where you could suck the machine dry of cash in about 10 minutes

Pirates - hand over your jewelry too..

'Alien' lifeform wakened from 120,000 year Arctic slumber

first rule of a sci-fi movie

Well if the sci-fi movies have taught me anything, I'll be making sure I stand behind Bill Paxton. That guy just keeps on sacrificing himself to make sure everyone else has a chance to get away.

Swine flu eclipsed by new fruity, full-bodied menace

Phew! Dodged that bullet

I'm a scotch man