Posts by Sir Sham Cad

NHS dangles £1.5B carrot to be outfitted with everything from PCs to printers

Re: Costs

Problem is, if you're Procuring on these frameworks north of 50K you have to run a maxi-comp. Massive pain in the arse.

Public clouds are 'dirty' about VMware's on-prem push, says Broadcom CEO Hock Tan

Re: "all you guys are very important to the cause"

Fighting against a "Cloud First" strategy has been a difficult experience but nice to be proven right (again)

Japan stops measuring train crowding by ease of newspaper readership

Just use the old Japanese one

You can call it "The Evening Standard Standard" or just "The Standard Standard" for short.

Remember Nokia? Amazon's lawyers do, in patent infringement suit

across The Pond people don't have the same meaning

Over in Leftpondia they don't have the same Bankruptcy laws either, AFAIK, so the definition is not really translatable. Oh wait, I can translate "Nokia didn't invent the iPhone"

Post-CrowdStrike, Microsoft to discourage use of kernel drivers by security tools

I thought the issue was they did test the file before release and it tested OK, but they hadn't properly tested the testing software because it didn't test properly. The Friday thing is unforgivable, absolutely.

AI models face collapse if they overdose on their own output

Hang on, I think I know this one!

Doesn't it all end up with everything being pictures of crabs?

CrowdStrike shares sink as global IT outage savages systems worldwide

Re: The fault's with Microsoft

Joe Tidy is a BBC Correspondent. He Writes for the Lusers. So, yeah, he's vaugewashing the reporting which is a bit infuriating but I'm not his audience.

Microsoft extends Azure into Oracle cloud to satisfy OpenAI

Re: Finally!

Nope, only "Super Extra Clippypilot" will be unbreakable.

Nothing can go wrong here!

London hospitals left in critical condition after ransomware attack

Re: 3rd attack in a year on Synlab

" redirected to other providers at short notice. Looks like it's feasible."

They mean other local NHS Trusts (Healthcare Providers), not other IT Providers.

Logitech MeetUp 2 boasts obligatory AI and a price tag to match

I just <evil ad slinger whose name is now a verb> AI Cutlery. There exists cutlery (initially typoed as 'cultery' which seems fitting) designed by AI.

Yeah. Happy hunting Plest!

UK public voice fear over security in NHS data systems

fair and open competition

Between a Tortoise, a Hare and a Horse where the success criteria was "look like a horse"

Cloud vendor lock-in is shocking, but there's a get out of jail card

Re: Why not have cloud.gov.uk ?

Because of your Point 3 we can't do it so we'd just Tender for one of the huge players to do it for us and we're back where we started.

I wish we could, though.

Ker-Splunk! Cisco closes $28 billion analytics acquisition

Given Cisco's exemplary record with software and software integration, and Splunk being notoriously simple, I can see no way that this could possibly go wrong.

Well, maybe a few ways. A few hundred ways. Still, not many.

Microsoft Publisher books its retirement party for 2026

and users can expect the same experience as today

So it's already EoL as they're not going to update it at all.

Microsoft's Notepad goes from simple text editor to Copilot conspirator

I like the Snipping Tool idea, that would be useful and time saving for me.

Never, in all my IT career, have I ever decided to paste something into Notepad, in order to lose the shitty formatting, and thought "fuck me, what does this actually mean? If only a crap LLM could help me!"

Remember when enterprise administration was more than just a browser dashboard?

Re: Sad times!

Amen. It's been a long time (too long) since I have been to TNMOC but it was a fun game playing "I had one of those! We still use one of those!"

Your pacemaker should be running open source software

Certifications for Medical Devices

Part of the issue re: security of Medical Devices generally is that they are shipped to the Clinicians essentially as a Black Box that has a Certification for use as a Medical Device. Usually certified several years previously. Any "change" to the state of that device, for example: patching the underyling OS, deviates from the original specification meaning the device is no longer certified and can't be used.

Essentially, Medical Devices are a huge security problem because they, and the whole ecosystem is designed for a point-in-time configuration not security.

Wireless priesthood begins blessing Wi-Fi 7 hardware

Re: 40Gbps

Absolutely what I was thinking re: end user kit, especially a large mix of equipment type, capability and age, at which point the users ask why the WiFi is "still shit" and "why have we spent all that money upgrading it?"

Which I'm waiting for sometime around Q3 FY24/25

Microsoft pulls the plug on WordPad, the world's least favorite text editor

Wordpad got me out of so many jams, this is sad news.

That said I'm sure there'll be a LibrePad port somewhere and I'm there for it.

Microsoft's 11-year itch: The uncelebrated anniversary of Windows 8

I had honestly forgotten that Windows 8 existed and that I had to use it at home until Windows 10. Nobody I knew used it apart from me.

Larry Ale-ison institute invests in Oxford pub linked to Tolkien, CS Lewis

About a thousand years before the last Ice Age, when I was 18 I spent a week in Oxford doing extra tuition for my maths A-Level. Sank many a pint in that pub with my fellow desperate students. Hope it's restored sympathetically and the beer is good.

Corner cutting of nuclear proportions as duo admit to falsifying safety tests 29 times

Re: How did they find out?

I would imagine getting paid for work they didn't have to do, meaning they could do other paid work as well and make double-bubble?

More X subscription tiers could spell doom for free access as biz bleeds cash

Money for nothing

So, a "service" that is, essentially, just enabling access to content created by its subscribers wants to charge those same contributors for access to their self-generated content?

That ain't working (with apologies to Mark Knopfler)

UK tribunal agrees with Clearview AI – Brit data regulator has no jurisdiction

Re: LOL

Pretty sure that's the output of an LLM trained entirely on Twatter.

Microsoft kills classic Azure DaaS, because it isn't really Azure

Confuse and conquer

It must be so much fun being a Microsoft Channel Partner. Since the customers can't keep up with the changes it's Professional Services Pork for all.

Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite

Were people really PAYING for low-resolution background images for their phones for "a few years"?

Yes, and I worked for a (now defunct) company specialising in early personalised 3D avatars where the VCs panicked, brought in someone to pivot the company to sell said low-res images of the custom, personalised, hi res 3D image as that's where the quick money was.

Scientists trace tiny moonquakes to Apollo 17 lander – left over from 1972

If it's good enough for Suzanne Vega it's good enough for me!

Guess what? Ask clouds to behave like old-school vendors, they will – and you lose

My philosophy on Cloud is never put anything important in a cloud provider that you cannot lift-and-shift back on-prem. I'm not a fan of Serverless instances for that reason.

Microsoft tells partners unbundling Teams is a 'compromise' with the EU

Re: "The Register was able to download from Microsoft without entering channel partner credentials"

I would suspect there's some sort of Journalistic exception unless our current Home Orifice lot have binned it off.

Re: A little homily comparing two basketball players?

Since I can never let a good metaphor go un-tortured, I would suggest one player owns the court and gets to place their hoop anywhere they like and only they can score points in their hoop and the other player needs to sneak their hoop in if they can at all.

Still, I cannot find it in me to have any sympathy with Zoom

Google rebrands 'android' as 'Android' to remove any doubt about its affiliations

Re: Logos

Yep, for something that nobody will notice apart from the people who are paid to notice it.

US Air Force wants $6B to build 2,000 AI-powered drones

Re: They are getting part of a clue

Or a copy of Antony Johnston's "The Exphoria Code" (unless they've already read it)

Southern Water to drink up tech deals worth up to £358M

Re: "asset management period set out by regulator Ofwat"

Little known fact: Ofwat stands for Ombudsman for Watching anything else but what we're supposed to.

"asset management period set out by regulator Ofwat"

Since when have Southern Waster ever given a fuck what Ofwat say?

NHS watchdog expresses vendor lock-in concerns over Federated Data Platform deal

Re: Investigation

You'll be approached by a tall man in a big hat and sunglasses going "pssst! wanna buy some cancer drugs?" long before your GP will know anything about it.

Palantir lobbied UK pensions department for its software to tackle fraud

Re: "Reduce fraud in the social security benefits system"

Any money saved will only go into "Health" or "Education" that is provided by a private provider with links to the current Government. Gotta replenish the trough.

Hide and seek in outer space highlights a battle here on Earth

Re: Science

Or "The other guy might get there before you". That used to get Space Budget allocated!

How to get a computer get stuck in a lift? Ask an 'illegal engineer'

Re: With apologies to Phil Collins

Don't apologise to Phil Collins, after everything he's inflicted upon humanity!

Brit healthcare body rapped for WhatsApp chat sharing patient data

Re: Sigh..

Secure mobile clinical messaging systems do exist. Unfortunately the staff know what they like and they like what they know so it can be difficult to make the new app(s) stick.

Farewell, Aeolus: Doomed ESA weather sat reenters atmosphere over Antarctica

Re: Penguins???

The Penguins now have Space Technology. We should be afraid.

Nobody would ever work on the live server, right? Not intentionally, anyway

Re: not uncommon

Oh God. Back in 2002 (at my current employer) we had a bespoke-built Intranet system on a physical Dell server and a copy on a PC (same OS, in theory identical) as the test server.

Microsoft patches. Worked fine on Test. Rolled out to Live. Irretrievably broke the Live server which needed complete rebuild plus a full rebuild of the bespoke software at considerable additional cost.

This will now identify me to approximately three people in the world.

NASA mistakenly severs communication to Voyager 2

Re: Auto-correcting antenna aiming! Amazing!

And we only had 3 months of downtime as a result!

Infineon to offer recyclable circuit boards that dissolve in water

Re: 90C for 30 minutes

Indeed and I've got Switchzilla kit that runs normally at an internal temp of 60+ degrees, touching 80C sometimes. Also what's the ignition temp of the fibre substrate?

Clingy Virgin Media won't let us leave, customers complain

Re: Switching to a non-cable area? Fugedaboudit...

Same experience here. Moved home recently, already checked to see if I could port my service and couldn't. Tried to cancel and All I got was chatbot that couldn't help. Called up and was told to use chatbot. A long time later (hours) I got through to somebody in, well let's not call it "cancellations", it was the "customer retention" side. Asked my reason for wanting to cancel and would I consider a different tariff (new 24 month contract ahoy). Didn't read a damn thing from the chatbot or anything else I'd divulged. Had to give them my new address so they could confirm that they couldn't help me and then agreed to cancel the service.

I was out of contract and should have been able to phone up and say "cancel and confirm my last payment date".

Better than Plusnet, though, who won't even let you cancel if you're dead!

Fancy tinkering with the atmosphere? The Derecho supercomputer can advise

I've seen this before

Morpheus: "We do know that it was us that scorched the sky"

Also the plot of Highlander II, I recall. 2024 was the date that was set so we're almost there.

Obscure internet boutique Amazon sues EU for calling it a Very Large Online Platform

Re: because it mainly sells stuff, not advertising.

Yep and also what are "reviews" (which it hounds you to give for weeks after you've bought the Thing) but user generated content?

You're too dumb to use click-to-cancel, Big Biz says with straight face

Subscription for Monopoly

Ah so just like Software licensing, then. Looking at you, Virtzilla, Switchzilla, Redmond!

Post-Brexit tariffs on cross EU-UK electrical vehicle imports still going ahead

Re: Fuck business

We had a Veto.

We elected a load of Eurosceptics as MEPs. They didn't turn up to work. That was the problem.

BT CEO Jansen confirms he's quitting within 12 months

FTTP via BT Retail

If only they could integrate other services sufficiently so that I can get it on EEEEEEEEE. I watched the fibre being installed outside my house but I can't have it!

Europe's largest city council runs parallel systems to cover Oracle rollout mess

As a rule I don't comment on live Work things but this year we moved to an Oracle finance system.

It is widely regarded as "fucking shit" and "not as good as the old system" which was widely regarded as "fucking shit".

That takes some doing!