Posts by Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Revealed at last: Universe's intergalactic dark matter skeleton

Re: "Boffo"?

Sir!

How dare you refer to dribbly candles as boffo. A good de rigeur wizard's candle look requires a very skilled dribbler to achieve the required effect. Ask mr. Nutt.

Numbers don't lie: Apple's ascent eviscerates Microsoft

Re: US spelling

@Madra

Excellent use of the vulgar Anglo-Saxon you old dog....

And the correct spelling is colour

Trekkie pays £45,000 for rusty shuttle

Re: Wow! What a wreck!

Looks like they bought it from Harry Mudd

Texas Higgs hunters mourn the particle that got away

Re: The fundies control the funding

It depends on how you define Science, for some 'merkins this is science http://creationmuseum.org/

Re: Priorities?

Exactly!

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/post/1464343

Re: "This is a discovery that could have been and should have been made in America."

Weinberg recalls a debate he had with a US Congressman on the Larry King show back in the day. "And he said he wasn't against science, he just thought we ought to set priorities," Weinberg reminisces. "And I said 'well that's fine, I agree with that. The super collider would help us learn the laws of nature. Doesn't that deserve a high priority?' And he said 'no'."

I tried searching to see who the congressman was but to no avail.

Perhaps the congressman thought that they didn't need a super collider to learn the laws of nature as they are already written down in the bible <insert name of religious book>

Re: "Nobody has ownership over that."

iBoson

Does it have rounded corners?

'Apple is corrupting App Store downloads', warn angry devs

Re: From a company who are regarded (with some justice) as master marketeers it seems to me....

@ Metavisor Just in case you missed it yesterday was Independence Day

Since when did the rest of the world adopt 'merkin holidays? Or is it just fanbois that think because the fruity ones take a day off we all should take a day off?

Did anyone spot the oxymoron I used?

Rifle-waving Yank's premature detonation ruins city's big bang

May I be the first....

to use a Paris icon with the headline premature detonation ruins city's big bang

Paris, who has never experienced a premature detonation. . . . . .

Europe's prang-phone-in-every-car to cost €5m per life saved

Re: Nanny state...

Why is this a nanny state issue?

I'd be more interested is knowing who has been paying for the lobbying of this "initiative"

Any one got any ideas????????

Euro Parliament kills ACTA treaty before court can look at it

Good News Everybody

Now all we need is for Belgium, the UK, Austria, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Bulgaria, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovenia, Spain and Sweden to repeal the shit they signed in Janurary.

GPS spoofing countermeasures: Your smartphone already has them

Re: Drones

The simplest conclusion, therefore, is that they did, indeed, bring it down as they say. Any other explanation is currently not as likely

maybe they just bought one....

US defence biz fined for busting China arms embargo

Tosh handed $87 MILLION fine in LCD price fixing case

How...

... do I claim my share back?

CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

Re: Or, in plain English...

Only 7.5 billion yo-yos, that's about the same price as a Gerald R. Ford class aircraft carrier (9B USD).

I suppose it's a question of priorities, furthering humanity through science or bombing third world countries.

Chinese toothpaste biz wants £50k from Apple over 'Snow Leopard'

In other news; 2 Snow Leopards (Panthera uncia or Uncia uncia) have retained the legal firm of Vulture, Bluebottle and Tic (Lawyer lawyerus, Lawyer Scumbagius and Lawyer bloodsukerous) and are suing both Apple (fruitus crappyius) and Jiangsu Household Chemical (polluteicus maximus) for identity theft.

Facebook phone app attempts to seize ALL YOUR MAIL

Re: vaseline?

That's why crApple patented rounded corners.

Paris, who else?

Microsoft silently kills silent, automatic Skype install via Updates

Re: All your money belongs to us.

Good to see amanfromMars posting again, probably has a lot more time on his hands now that he has finished upgrading CA-7

Re: Not only that...

@ Michael B.

I have that laptop 8 months, it was decrapified, skype was installed, and has been in regular use for the last 8 months. Automatic updates are switched off.

First time I saw this particular piece of crapware ware was immediately after the latest update last Sunday!

Not only that...

After a skype update last night, I now have Youcam running on my PC, it keeps popping up a window asking me to setup a new profile picture and arbitrarily doing a left to right reversal of my video feed.

At no time did the skype update ask if I want to install Youcam

Heil MickySoft, they only have skype a couple of weeks and already they've managed to fuck it up.

Currently looking for an alternative to skype.

Google.eggfaced: Chocolate Factory spaffs cash in dot-word bungle

101 new addresses...

...for me to redirect to 127.0.0.1

Facebook replaces non-Facebook mail addresses on Timeline

Re: Email address is worthless...

In fact it is so worthless that I will be using it any where the spam harvesters can get at it. It will also be handy for all those sites that ask for email address, so much more convenient than setting up another snotmail or gmail address.

Re: Opt in vs Opt out

Yet again Facebook demonstrates it doesn't understand the concept of 'Opt in'

Fixed it for you

Yet again Facebook demonstrates it doesn't give a flying fuck about the concept of 'Opt in'

Natwest, RBS: When will bank glitch be fixed? Probably not today

Re: Train of thought

That's news to me.... managers think!!!!

Re: Out-sourcing is bad

Maybe the 800 Indians can't read German.....

Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights.

Office printers spew reams of garbage as 2-year-old Trojan runs wild

Re: Who needs a trojan to do this?

Binary file? Why a Binary file?

I remmember one PFY who worked for me who created a report on the mainframe from the engineering system parts catalog.

Every thing was fine until all the parts begining with the number '1' were printed, '1' being the ansi control character for a form feed.

Big report!

Re: There I fixed it for you

25 years ago when I was working on a site that used a mainframe based internal email system in a company that boasted of it's paperless office, I never understood why one of the managers printed all his email

Until I discovered that printing an email left it marked unread (you could see if an email you sent was read).

clueless managers, no, they only want you to think they are clueless, devious bastards is a better description

Tech fault at RBS and Natwest freezes millions of UK bank balances

"Just to let you know, I'm charging NatWest £30 for being incompetent"

Only £30?????????????????

Assange's Ecuador asylum bid has violated £200k UK bail, say cops

Re: Don't understand...

It's utter bollocks to suggest that his problem is extradition to the US, he says this because it fits his conspiracy agenda and makes him look like the hero against oppressive secrecy,

Sorry iamafish, Failure of critical thinking on your part,

Yes, what the media is saying, probably with a bit of help from Assange's PR people, may make it sound like a conspiracy theory to get Assange extradited to 'merkin-land.

Yes, and it may make Assange look like some sort of hero fighting against gruberment secrecy.

However that does not have those things wrong.

Apple extends Liquidmetal sole rights until 2014

Re: Weird

I have a faint memory from the early 80s of a procurement scandal in the US Air force because they buying a radar antenna adjust tool from the manufacturer for $600.

Turns out it was a 7/16" allen key.

Re: Colour me confused!

Magnesium!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That will add nicely to the conflagration in your lap created by the overheating/exploding battery. See Icon.

Windows Metro Maoist cadres reach desktop, pound it flat

Re: "Experts" at what?

Marketing.

Apple must be tried for the bug in every fanboi's pocket

Re: Dream on

@ac 17th 21:05

"What utter tosh. If you leave your front door open, are you inviting burglars in? That's essentially what you are saying."

Its not the same thing at all.... for one, if you leave your front door wide open, then anyone entering would only be trespassing.

So what you are saying is that google did do wrong, they trespassed, and kept whatever they got while they were trespassing. Can some of you legal-eagles confirm if that is a tort?

HBO 'sorry' for skewering Dubya

Re: Hilarious

gassing Curds????

What did the coagulated milk proteins (casein), with or with out rennet or edible acidic substances such as citrus juice or ascetic acid do to offend Soddin Insane?

Although I have to admit that most coagulated milk protein products also give me a bit of gas.

Did you mean Kurds?

Tesco grabs Peter Gabriel's musical streamer

Re: Self-service checkouts

I am just surprised the same issues haven't occurred in ATM's

Probably not an issue for ATMs as most PCs in ATMs are quite low spec, if it can run DOS 3.0 or higher and display a picture, it's good enough.

Re: potentially embarrasing purchases

So you haven't tried Nutella [1] then?

[1] a chocolate nut [2] spread.

[2] hazelnuts I believe.

Paris, she can lick the chocolate of my nuts [3] any time.

[3] hazelnuts; you dirty minded b******s

Stephen Fry's Pushnote goes titsup

insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result

attributed to: Albert Einstein, Rita Mae Brown, Chinese proverb, Rudyard Kipling, Benjamin Franklin

insanity: using the same quote over and over and attributing it to a different author.

Skype launches in-call ads

Re: Got one thing right

Skype was successful precisely because it didn't do this sort of shit. And MickeySoft thinks that this sort of avertising actually works!!!!! Because GM doesn't. so.

In addition that are also going to target , spy on people and track them.

We may use non-personally identifiable demographic information (e.g. location, gender and age) to target ads. This will help ensure that non-paying users see ads that are of greater interest and relevance to them.

Oh! do you really think so?

Searching google for "blocking google ads" produces 'about' 127,000,000 hits, it won't be long before "blocking skype ads" does the same.

There's plenty of browser add-ins to block tracking, ads, flash cookies etc. One of the best things I've ever done was to use a modified hosts file see http://winhelp2002.mvps.org/hosts.htm for details. It's not a perfect set up, but I do take a certain amount of pleasure for seeing the pop-under window opening up to display "unable to connect to server".

My PC, my broadband, I'll decide how it's going to be used.

All of Europe's data in US servers? We're OK with that - EC bod

Re: Once again, how does this square with the PATRIOT Act ?

@Mike Smith

No No No Mike, you are wrong, Ms Richards has missed nothing.

“Theoretically, it shouldn’t matter where data is held as long as our rules apply,” Richards told The Reg at the Cloud Computing World Forum in London. “The legislation in the US is not so different from the legislation we have in the EU.”

All praise to the Sir Humphrey's and George Orwell and the Ministry of Truth"

This is bureaucrat bullshit of the highest order, the logic is perfect, its the facts that are wrong! Look at the first word, Theoretically, it shouldn’t matter where data is held, this statement is correct, it shouldn’t matter where your data is held, practically though, it does matter where your data is held (see next point).

"The legislation in the US is not so different from the legislation we have in the EU.”

I forget what this logical fallacy is called (false analogy? ). The phrase "not so different" is meant to convey the notion that the data protection laws are nearly the same when they are not.

Ms Richards has missed nothing, she's just hoping that you did.

W3C: 'Do not track' by default? A thousand times: NO!

Re: W3C - The finest standards that Google can buy.

Why is it that everyone thinks that FarceBook, Google and other vested interests are telling the W3C what to do?

Oh! Hang on.......

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

Well what do you expect, Amerikan special forces in 'nam adopted a version of Arnaud Amalric's (died 1225, a Cistercian church leader) infamous statement "Neca eos omnes. Deus suos agnoset" (Kill them all. God will know His own) or if you prefer the modern version "Kill'em all, and let God sort'em out".

Or maybe the perp is playing too much GTA

Windows is the OS of the cloud, says Microsoft

Re: Windows is the OS of the Cloud

the danger with fog is that if it gets polluted it will turn into MicroSmog

Re: In all fairness...

What!! are you a MicroSheep or a MicroSlave, either that or you have been using MicroSloth Idiot Exploder for far too long or you have been MicroShafted

how about MickeySoft, MicroShaft, Mightgosoft, MicroSnot or MicroSlug

And the funniest of them all "MicroSoft Works"

Re: Windows is the OS of the Cloud

with lots of Samba mounts......

Apple pulls in TomTom, kicks Google off iPhones

iWare?????

Apple .... providing its own mapping service on its iWare

iWare!!!!!, are the fruity ones going to have to sue Specsavers now because they supply eyeWare????

Are they going to project maps on to peoples glasses?? There may be prior art on that, not that that ever worried the fruity firm.

Eagle-eyed fanbois spotted the C of TomTom.....

Must have gone to Specsavers to get their iWare eye ware

OK, I've got it, I'm going...

O2, Be Broadband axe Pirate Bay access

Re: Time will tell?

Should be easy to check, what was the huge jump in sales when Oink was closed down???

Re: oh noooooo

What i fail to understand, is the reason for these bans?

Because it gives the copyright mafiaa the impression that they are doing something, i.e. trying to protect their monopoly, it also creates a bogyman for them to blame, i.e. sales are falling due to piracy and not due to the fact that in worsening economic situation, people are less likely to buy formulistic, shit, boring, mass-produced, muzak filled records.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

companies are forced down this route to ensure that they remain competative

No no no no!!! companies are forced down this route to because they can't innovate sufficiently to distinguish themselves from the competition.

Has there been a fundamental development in the design if computer chips since the 6800/6502/z80 were first invented, no not really, they have all been developed in stages, each new development improving on what went before.

The first car I ever had no sunroof, the second car I had had a "flip up" sunroof, the third car I ever had had a sliding sun roof but you had to wind it open by hand, the fourth car I had a sliding electrically operated sun roof.

A lot of what is patented as new original thinking is just the logical development of existing products.

Re: @Graham Wilson -- Corporations can't confiscate property.

Fantastic post Graham,

However I would not agree that "rampant capitalism succeed".

Rampant capitalism in the form of Thatcher/Regan monetarism has been as big a failure as communism has been in Russia. Just look at the problems that have been created in the US and Europe because of corporate greed, the rich have continued to get richer while the poor have got poorer.

Georges Clemenceau (French PM 1906-1909) said that "War is too important to be left to the generals", to paraphrase that "Banking is too important to be left to the bankers". The bankers have been tested and they have been found wanting, time to take the banks away from them.

Re: Corporations can't confiscate property.

[1] Actually I can't think of any examples of a genuinely communist state since communism was invented

I think Cuba made a good attempt at it, pity they pissed off corporate Amerika, by nationalising everything, who then wouldn't play with them until they got all their toys back.

Q: What's the difference between capitalism and communism?

A: Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man and communism is the other way around.

To be fair though both systems have one thing in common, shortages will be evenly distributed among the lower classes.

HDD oligopoly to keep post-flood prices high till 2014

Re: Oligopoly is a great word

Oligopoly is a great word...... to describe price gouging.