* Posts by Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

1735 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jun 2009

Microsoft milks Casio for using Linux

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

"Business is business - if it makes you money it's good, if it loses you money it's bad."

Ahhhhh, the greed is good argument, if it's making money it must be good, tell that to the tens of thousands of people who have lost their jobs and their futures (not the financial ones) at RBS, Bear Stearns, JP Morgan, Barclays, HSBC, and the thousands of other companies due to the greed of a wunch (collective noun) of bankers.

FAIL, yours and theirs

Samsung may try to block next iPhone in Europe too

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Holmes

Butt Shirley....

....they all look like digital picture frames to me......

I wonder is Samsung going to photoshop the evidence they present to the court as well????

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

Yes apple did start it, by copying Stanlely Kubrick's design for a tablet computer as portrayed in the 1968 film "2001"

http://www.reghardware.com/2011/08/23/samsung_battles_apple_with_kubrick/

EU recording copyright extension 'will cost €1bn'

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

"Without revenue from copyright, what incentive is there to publish such works after someone's death"

Eh.... how about revenue from sales, of course without copyright you can't prevent somebody else from doing the same, which is probaly the real reason for seeking 70 years copyright

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

No!

"Copyright is good in financing artists who are creating stuff we want to see and hear"

Sales are good for financing artists who are creating stuff we want to see and hear (and by implication only the good 'stuff' will sell), copyright is for making sure nobody else does it.

Watch satellite television, all those Time Life collections of C&W music from the 60's, imagine the financial disaster that would fall on Time Life if someone else was to sell them for less than £15 a CD!!!!!

How to go from the IT dept to being a rogue trader

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Not Funny...

flightily true, all that was missing was the low golf handicap.

But why go the route of rogue trader to fuck up a bank??? Just become a senior executive of a bank, gamble with the banks money, loose nearly all of it, get tens of thousands of people sacked to save money, leave hundreds of thousands of young people without a future because the economy is fucked and get a big pension for doing it. Take your pick of bank, barclays, HSBC, RBS, goldman sachs, bear stearns, etc. etc. etc.

Microsoft 'paid over £1m to silence UK exec over sexism'

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

best companies to work for... more crap

I've worked in two companies that used to go in for this self serving "best companies to work for" crap.... until the proles copped on and started telling it like it was, at which point management announce that time and effort allocated to "best companies to work for" was better used elsewhere.

MPs: 999 HQ revamp FAIL cost £469m

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

And what do you think would happen to the management team of a private company that managed to dumped nearly half a billion down the toilet (apart from bankers who seem to be well rewarded no matter what they do), can you think what might happen to the project managers on such a project?

Now; what do you think will happen to the senior civil servants who manage to dump nearly half a billion down the toilet.

There; I've answered your question for you.

DigiNotar goes titsup: Disgraced certificate firm is sunk

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Fixed it for you

A cluless civil servant for the Dutch government, probaly at the beheist on even move cluless politicain, initially decided to issue the standard political denial of a problem even existing, said that PKIoverheid site certs issued by DigiNotar were still trustworthy, but then changed its mind after talking to sombody who actually knows something about the subject matter after getting wind of a damning security audit of DigiNotar's systems and ditching the firm.

Verity's secret shame revealed

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Hmmmmm

I usually include a "$" in passwords just to see now well a site handles strings but I see I must experment a bit more.......

"pass$word\n{$(drop table *;)}\n

"=======D({0})" could be a good password as well, 1 letter, 1 number and a couple of other symbols

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

G for Ghoul

L for Loule (town in Portugal)

S for Stool

Y for You'll

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Thanks,

to Verity and posters, best laugh I've had for a long time, and can I add

"S for Sea"

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

and "J for Jay"

Royal rugby star bar snog CCTV upload - bouncer in court

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

ROFLMHO

did the plods get the bouncer confused with a tall photographer?????

Has oz got their Constable Savage???

"accessing a computer system for a dishonest purpose".

What else are they going to charge him with

'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing'

'Smelling of foreign food'

'Coughing without due care and attention'

'Walking on the cracks in the pavement'

ROFLMHO, this is nearly as funny as hearing that the Chinese have banned the pop-idol/x-factor clone show called "Super Girl" because "some officials saw as subversive because the audience voting too closely represented Western-style democracy." Apparently the program is going to be replaced by a program about morals and housekeeping.

Blue Screen of Death gets makeover for Windows 8

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

The box said "requires windows 98 or better to run"...... So I installed Linux

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

"So if anyone is living with random or frequent BSOD's its due to your own ignorance."

I'm down voting you for that, it's not the users fault is some hardware manufacturer can't get their act together and write a decent driver, AND the tools to delete/uninstall it.

I have a lot of music editing software on one of my PCs, I installed a Beringer USB Guitar Link/virtual amp, yeah, I should have known better, the latency of the USB ADC was too high to be of real use, but it turned out that the bloody thing was impossible to uninstall, trying to use add/remove programs either hung the computer or caused a BSOD

Of course I also blame mickeysoft for the laissez faire attitude it has towards allowing 3rd party suppliers install software as part of the OS.

Samsung preps anti-iPhone 5 lawsuit before it's even out

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

FaiR And Reasonable??? crApple???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Seems Samsung is citeing Stanlely Kubrick's 2001 and teh BBCs "the tommorrow people" as pior art in its fight with Apple.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-27076_3-20096061-248/samsung-cites-kubrick-film-in-apple-patent-spat/

There's two ways of looking at this, there's prior art for the design of the iFad from 1968, or, it was designed as a BBC SiFi prop, in which case it's probabaly crap!

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

Too Late...

... somebody has tried that already

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/11/10/halliburton_patent/

Halliburton wanted to patent "patent acquisition and assertion by a (non-inventor) first party against a second party."

Scientists discover Tatooine-style world 200 lightyears off

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

and in a galaxy far far away.

NASA unveils its chosen Shuttle successor

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

Cadmium???

Can you expand on that? Cadmium-coated parts operating at high temperature are subject to embrittlement.

How gizmo maker's hack outflanked copyright trolls

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

The DMCA criminalises production and dissemination of technology, devices, or services intended to circumvent DRM measures, and the act of circumventing such DRM measures and controls.

The Chumby doesn’t do any of that, and the security of the original HDMI signal is still intact. The only issue I can see is that Chumby have not received an HDMI licence.

Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray disc set

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

<wave hand> These are not the profits you are looking for </wave hand>

This is not the coat I'm looking for

Hunt: Online file-sharing is a 'direct assault on freedoms'

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Pirate

"freedoms and rights of creators of content to be rewarded fairly."

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article6024677.ece

Ahhhh I see, its only wrong when it's the copyright mafiaa get ripped off

Icon: for the copyright mafiaa, the bigest pirates of all....

Microsoft demos creepy car stalking system

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Childcatcher

Why disable the whole car?

No particular place to go

So we parked way out on the kokomo

The night was young and the moon was bold

So we both decided to take a stroll

Can you imagine the way I felt?

I couldn't unfasten her safety belt

Google offers opt-out from Wi-Fi router location database

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

@Symon 12:15 GMT

There’s another difference as well Symon, if somebody wants to drop ads through my letterbox, they have to say somebody to deliver that service for them.

However if google want to drop ads into my inbox/browser session that they are abusing a service that I pay for and I will tell them to go away with two words of my choosing (hint: the second word is “off”).

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Devil

@Anthony Hegedus

"I have all sorts of info out there that aren't really of much use to anybody but a criminal"

Precisely the reason to hide it, it really doesn’t matter to me if my neighbours / google / mickeysoft / Amazon etc. know a shit-load of my personal details as I have a reasonable level of trust with them, and I use peer guardian and various plug-ins to keep (most of) the irritating ads out of my browsing session anyway.

However given the frequency with which websites are hackced and have membership details stolen and the way grubberment employees lose CDs, USB devices etc., I find it more comforting to keep as much of my private information private by not giving it out to anyone in the first place.

So; let me get this clear, google will not record my SSID/MAC address on their databases if contact them and tell them my SSID/MAC address/name/email address/physical address/stool sample so they can put a record on their databases with my SSID/MAC address/name/ email address/physical address/stool sample telling them not to record such information?????????????

I'm with Stephen Gray on this, I too find the arrogance of google sickening, the crucking funts who implement these fraudulent “opt out” schemes AND the people who allow them to do it i.e. the regulatory authorities, should be burnt at the stake, cloned, and burnt at the stake a second time.

Yes; don't be evil, but only if you redefine evil to not include deception, hypocrisy and deceitfulness.

What's googles IP address?? is it 666.666.666.666 by any chance?

How Apple's Lion won't let you trash documents

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

Yes but VMS did it properly

Much to the annoyance of the dickhead (and everyone else) I was in college with, who had a brain fart and wondered if he could fill up the print queue by writing a script to continuously print a file that contained a single form feed.

In the best traditions of BOFH, he tried to do this on a Friday night, so when the printer started spewing out blank pages it was switched off, when the admins came in on Monday morning it was nearly two days before the printer was usable again :-)

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Angel

Nope, he had a Honda Accord

According (deliberate pun) to St. John's gospel Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

The Apostles also had one between them..."The Apostles were in one Accord."

Meanwhile, Moses drove an old British motor bike with a hole in the exhaust, "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills"

Hunt: We'll slightly inconvenience pirate sites

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

Channel 4

Channel 4 did this in 1986, a little red triangle to indicate "special discretion required"

They got over 3 million viewers a figure that was *HUGE* for the time compared to other channels broadcasting late at night.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Those who do not remember their past are condemned to repeat their mistakes" - George Santayana

Big Music trumpets ‘Cliff Richard’ term extension

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

@Andrew re 12:53

Hang on Andrew, now you’ve got me discombobulated, how come Sony were able to “re-issue” some of Morrisseys/the smiths recordings in 2009 prompting Morrissey ask people not to buy the boxed sets because he wasn’t receiving any royalties from the sale of the boxed sets.

That’s the same Morrissey that didn’t pass a fair share of the bands royalties to Joyce and Rourke

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
WTF?

Copyright in perpetuity

Why do the copyright mafiaa need to extend the copyright on sound recordings from 50 to 70 years???

All as they have to do is to reissue then as "new digitally re-mastered"/new compilations/add a bonus track etc. recordings, making then "new" recordings, and Voilà; another 50/70 years copyright.

Just think; all that is required is for Edisons 1877 recording of "Mary had a little lamb" to be reissued in 1927 and 1977 for it still to be in “sound recording copyright”.

Why Android houses should give Google the 'fork you'

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

Hmmm...

You only have to see what the once mighty Nokia did to Symbian"

I don't think it's a case of what Nokia did to Symbian but what Nokia failed to do with Symbian, internal competition between teams, multiple APIs and an announcement that were were developing Symbian but then they were going to drop it in favour of webos, makes pointy hair boss look competent!!!!!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/10/nokia_ui_saga/

I had a N?? (can't remember which one, may have been a N97) and apart from the somewhat cumbersome location of some of the applications I always thought it was the first real upgrade of a mobile phone I had since I got rid of my 6210. My new android has most of its features switched off because the battery life is so crap!!!! You just can’t win!

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

"but while it would be great to attribute that to the gullibility of Apple users"

Well, they do seem to beleive everything that the church of jobs tells them...

Now that I have got that out of my system, odd that Android is often seen as the cheap option, the 32GB iFad is cheaper that the 32GB Galaxey Tab (well on the 'local' on-line sites anyway).

BT trying for fibre 'monopoly', claims TalkTalk chief

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

It's true, Talk is cheap

Well if you think Talk Talk were difficult to deal with now, wait till you are dealing with a call centre in the Philippines staffed by people on a subsistence wage.

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/talk-really-is-cheap-in-the-callcentre-capital-of-world-2872571.html

Galaxy Tab remains illegal in Germany

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

Don't feed the Trolls

please note; VeryUnlikely, as of 11 September 22:20, 4 posts, all in "Galaxy Tab remains illegal in Germany", joined Friday 9th September 2011 22:52 GMT

Hmmmm, wonder how many other fanboi posters joined that day??????

UK-US corporate world slams 'dot-brand' domain plans

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

Is.....

apple.overpriced taken???????

fanbois, begin your down-voting

The real reason Google bought Motorola

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

$12Bn

If Dr Evil PLC spends their 'merkin money on buying Motorola guess what happens, it's a capital acquisition and is therefore......

wait for it.......

can you guess what happens......

you'll never believe it......

IT'S TAX DEDUCTABLE!!!!!

Couple can sue service that monitored their net sex

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

@DrXym

PC world is currently selling a HP Pavilion/AMD E-350/4GB/500GB for £349, would you give me £60 for my 6 year old HP Pavilion/Pentium 4/512 MB/80GB & crappy video card laptop.....

please!!!!

Apple ejects FT app from iTunes

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

@enigmatix

yeah, that's right. Have a go at AC 12:08 having a go at Stike having a go rather than posting an actual comment

(posted with a sense of humour).

Beyonce's belly: Most important thing ever, on Twitter

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Thumb Up

Double plus good comic strip

Excellent post Steven;

Compare and contrast Huxleys "Brave New World" with Orwells "Nineteen Eighty-Four" is 7 tweets or less - 60 marks.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coffee/keyboard

Nuts!

See Icon

Windows 8 ribbon entangles Microsoft

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

You're right

The ribbon isn't all that bad......

If you have a big monitor, though shit if you are using the on-call laptop with the 14" screen

If you want to use the options that MicroShit have decided you are going to use, though shit if you want to customise the ribbon the way you could the old tool bars.

Just to keep you guessing, "insert table" function is on the "insert" button/tab, however the "table properties" dialog is on the "layout" button/tab, and the formatting of tables (border, fill etc) are on the "Design" button/tab.

It's all over the place, with the old tool bars all the formatting options were on the formatting menu and all the table options were on the table menu.

The ribbon isn't all that bad...... It's total shit.

Still when you are devoid of ideas, there’s nothing like f**king up the interface to pretend you’ve made changes.

Fail, MicroShits,1, massive

Russian rocket flub threatens to empty ISS

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

re: not so sure

You're right to be not so sure,

There is a common theme to a lot of Russian aviation technology, their inability to make a big powerful and efficient engine.

The N1 used 30 main engines against the Saturn Vs 5, the complexity of the plumbing to feed 30 engines with both fuel and oxidiser along with the complex vibration modes of 30 engines is what probably caused the failure of the N1.

It is the same with a lot of Russian aircraft as well, the reason the Tupolev Tu-95 Bear has turboprop engines is that at the time of its development the Russians did not have a jet/turbojet engine that would give required intercontinental performance. Similarly the MIG 25 Foxbat outperformed most western aircraft of its era, but it’s combat radius was only 186 miles, making it a little more than a point interceptor.

This in turn may have led to the Russian interest in ekranoplans or ground effect vehicles, since they offer good fuel efficiency despite numerous other disadvantages. Personally I wouldn’t care to me travelling in a 500 ton flying machine at 350 miles an hour at 40 feet above the ground, especially when that flying machine wasn’t able to climb much higher than 60 feet and at that height the horizion is only 13 miles or 2 minutes flying time away. Bad news if the 209 foot tall MV Freedom of the Seas is just below the horizon.

Incidentally one of the big names the ground effect was Alexander Lippisch, designer of the German WWII Me163 Komet rocket fighter, and ground effect aircraft were flown before WWII, so no prizes to the Russians for innovation there either.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Paris Hilton

Astronauts keep it up for longer

Yes, the shuttle can be used to boost the IIS orbit, as can the station's two main engines on the Zvezda service module, a Progress resupply vessel, or ESA's ATV.

Paris, see title

Silence ≠ 'yes', watchdog tells lustful ad-biz bakers

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Researched it for you

Silence is the weakest form of consensus

Qui tacet consentire videtur, ubi loqui debuit ac potuit

"Thus, silence gives consent; he ought to have spoken when he was able to"

Apple wins (another) Samsung Android injunction in EU

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

@chemist

WOW!!! crApple are really running scared of the Samsung Galaxy, it must be really good.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’d say that, having had a quick look at the patent, that crApple have tried to patent both the software for recognising movment of a finger on a touch screen and the actual gestures.

"5 programs. The one or more program are stored in the memory and configured to be executed by the one or more processors. The one or more programs include: instructions for displaying an array of thumbnail images corresponding to a set of photographic images; instructions for detecting a scrolling gesture comprising a substantially vertical movement of user contact with the touch screen display; and instructions for responding to the scrolling"

Thankfully crAppple haven't taken out a patent for a scrolling gesture comprising substantially vertical movement of the hand with the middle finger extended which is about the only gesture I’ll ever make to an iFad or ANY of their products.

Seven Dwarfs password gag declared Fringe's best

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Joke

But...

... you tend to get into the hobbit of spelling it Tolkeins way

comScore sued over 'sinister' data collection methods

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Holmes

translation

"commercially viable efforts to automatically filter confidential personally identifiable information such as UserID, password, credit card numbers, and account numbers ..... we make commercially viable efforts to purge our database of such information"

= If it costs money, we won't do it

Simples

Ofcom mulls smackdown for rogue religious TV channel

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

@AC 12:56 GMT

But you can’t selectively pick the parts of the bible you want to believe in or even put your own interpretation on parts of the bible, or so the bible claims. In First Epistle of Peter, and this is from the king john version new testament.

- Peter 1:20-21: Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake [as they were] moved by the Holy Ghost.

As with most religions, it’s all or nothing. But as catholic priests will tell you, you have a free will to make your own decision, but it must be an informed decision, and that they are the ones who want to do the informing.

Britain's iconic red phonebox turns 75

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

but why....

... did Sir G.G. Scott design them with such a foul smell?

Mines the one with the pocket full of leaflets for "professional women"