Posts by proto-robbie

Earthquakes will release captured carbon: Stanford study

Just pump it down a big pipe...

... into the sea - about 1000 ft down it will liquify, then sink. OK it might change the ecology of the sea bed, but hey we're not using it.

Google in dock again over defamatory auto-complete

Guess the name...

...Coksu Wan perhaps?

ps isn't that Microsoft ad annoying?

America's X-37B top-secret spaceplane returns to Earth

Re: including my beloved wife

There's no gay top ten without the Lexx, surely.

And I'd leave out the wife, unless she's an interstellar lesbian.

Python wraps its coils around the enterprise

Re: Bah!

Dude, have you checked out the Three Wolves T-shirt?

Supreme Court dismisses Assange bid to reopen extradition case

Re: CIA dirty tricks department

Are you surprised?

Hitchhiker shot while researching 'Kindness of America'

Re: Glasgow

You go an' bile yer heid an' a'

Password flaw leaves MySQL, MariaDB open to brute force attack

...on the other hand...

...No-one with more than two neurons would leave a MySQL port open to the outside world.

So, it's a FAIL, but only of any consequence when compounded with an even bigger one.

Students face off in Hamburg home-cooked cluster clash

"These teams can't be underestimated"

The benefits of proofreading can't be overestimated.

White AMERICANS will have become MEKON brain-men by 3000AD

Been there, got the baseball hat...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hague

Draft law lets council bods snoop your tax records

Quite agree,

and same for the TV Licence.

Man's car warns of AIR RAID OVER LONDON

"Don't mention zee vor"

Fixed that for you.

Regards,

Nazi Pedant

US gov boffins achieve speeds faster than light

Re: @Big Dumb Guy

Those pesky apostrophes...

Redmond man unmasked: UK.gov open standards stalled

Those f-f-f-f-facilitators. Just what we f-f-f-f-need to tighten the public purse-strings.

Standing NEXT to an HTML coder is like standing NEXT TO GOD

Many millionaires have said...

... that they wouldn't have succeeded without a failure or two along the road. Is this the foundation for the Rapid Fail Environment? All these billionaires who fail all the time? Sheesh, and it's been staring us in the face all this time.

Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

That's not right...

Hartlepool is the place you're looking for.

So what's the worst movie NEVER made?

Re: Mike Leigh's Cleopatra

Pop in Gordon Ramsay as wacky psycho-emperor-chef Caligula (OK, I know...), and Boris Johnson as the intransigent Mayor of Alexandria, and you're looking at gold dust right there.

There's surely some mileage...

...in a cross-conceptual synthesis of The King's Speech, Conan the Barbarian and The Shining, with Sylvester Stallone as Colon, who needs to acquire language skills before marrying Princess Whoopi and assuming the throne. Anne Robinson (Red Sonja) provides slight temptation for the hero and Gordon Ramsay reprises his day job as the speech therapist who turns oh so bad.

I'd like to bring Nicholas Cage in somewhere, but thousands wouldn't.

Cameron 'to change his mind' on the one thing he got right in Defence

Re: Erroneous enemy assessment maybe?

Pycrete, 2000 metres deck length. Almost indestructible, and circumvents all your issues (although it will need nuclear propulsion, very big sails or genetically modified uber-penguins).

Terrafugia flies first prototype: Flying cars 'within a year'

I take it...

We'll have some sort of netting fitted to the tops of our office blocks?

Yay

No more congestion charges!

Are you an ECO POET? Climate science needs YOU

Home alone...

Roses were red,

sky was blue:

we had bees;

and honey too.

Powerful, wallet-sized Raspberry Pi computer sells out in SECONDS

Re: Way cool.

Yay! Heartily concurred.

Microsoft's Azure cloud down and out for 8 hours

That's so "yesterday"...

... it's got to be Raspberry Pis in the sky.

Quantum computing in our lifetime - IBM breakthrough

Re: What will we do with them?

Mapping the grumbleplex?

Apple said to threaten legal action over Steve Jobs doll

He's back...

...the iDoll?

Rhino horn price spike drives record poaching

given the prices involved...

... there are some very wealthy and powerful Chinese people buying this stuff, entirely based on superstition.

I don't see why this couldn't be subject to trade sanction and governmental pressure - taking the Pandas hostage, for example?

Whale versus shark in KIWI DEATH MATCH!

Or the place on the map...

...called Iraq, according to some Americans.

Ten... inkjet photo printers

So, rather than let you screw up...

...our printers by using them until they break, we'll screw them up for you in a controlled fashion. This has to be specifically for the British market, 'cos no other country would be so effing stupid as to put up with this.

You'd think that some consumer protection agent with a grain of decency in their body could... oh no, what was I thinking?

Should have double-checked, and not gone on memory. It's an Epson SX415, not a 480SX as speculated above.

Unlike some commentators above...

... I'm going to recommend Epson, or at least one particular model.

You can buy (admittedly small) generic cartridges for the Stylus 480SX for not much more than one pound each, and there seems to be no inbuilt mechanism in the printer to reject them (unlike my dad's much more expensive Canon which stops him refilling their own cartridges, thus racking up £30 per cartridge when they dry out).

Until I got him another Epson, that is. As for print quality - there's virtually nothing between the two printers, and the Epson has a scanner too. A great machine for the money and very cheap to run, especially for infrequent users.

Feds charge eight former Siemens officials with bribery

This is the company...

... which is the sole supplier of laptops at over £1400 each to primary schools in Scotland. Not that I'd like to draw any particular inference from that of course.

It'll be interesting to see if Uncle Sam can make a successful prosecution over crimes committed in Argentina by a German company, especially if they've coughed up $1.6 billion in fines and settlements already.

Not that there appears to be much difference in morality between the $100M and the $1.6B if you ask me.

Virginia ponders tax breaks for (dead) human space flights

Up, up and away ...

... pretty much like the ozone layer.

Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

Bonkers!

As are we all really. I'd like to be the first to point this research in the direction of the Ig Nobel committee.

to Paris, and all her hemispheres.

NASA wants space washing machine for ISS, Mars bases

You'd think with all that training

that astronauts could "go commando".

Russia successfully launches Glonass-M

erk

I never thought I'd say the words "They really need a Brand Naming consultant", but there you go. What are they going to call the next one? Phyz-Gonorf?

Falklands, Cardiff lie beneath track of rogue Phobos-Grunt

Please don't flee to Scotland...

... we're a bit short of umbrellas at the moment.

Boffins find new 2012 glyph on 'secret' Mayan brick

If ever there was...

... a situation demanding the future perfect tense, this will have been it.

ALL US pro basketball to be played by topless strippers

...Businessmen and professionals...

Indubitably.

Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

Reg misses convoluted headline?

"Lone Star slag in shag-bag grab scam"

UK nuclear: Walking into darkness with eyes screwed shut

It's still a risk,

and one unlikely to be calculated for a coal-fired power station! I used to work in "nuclear" twenty years ago - plane crash is a known and calculated risk for a power station. How the calculations have changed since 9/11 I do not know.

or it may be

Al-Queda flying a jumbo jet into a nuclear power station.

Fake doc cuffed in concrete arse shocker

4King hell

Lipotrucktion ya bass!

Russian diplomat caught driving while 15 TIMES over booze limit

I for one

shalute our Pomeranian dipshomatic and minishterial offishial colleaguesh. Where'sh the crishpsh?

Teacher investigated over mysluttyteacher smut site

My 3rd year French teacher

used to keep his lochgelly belt in the classic over-shoulder under-jacket quick draw position.

No real scope for immature sexual fantasies there: would have preferred yours. J'ai reussi aux examens, d'ailleurs.

Brussels: Water cannot be sold as remedy for dehydration

What a load of

old piss. How fortunate we are to have the Germans running the EU for us, and spending our cash so wisely.

At least it's Friday.

US nuclear aircraft carrier George Bush crippled by toilet outages

Why the need for a vacuum?

As I recall the Invincible didn't have sucking heads on it (apart from beer time), but it did have twin gravity-fed sewage treatment plants down in the "bowels" of the ship. The CEO's party piece was drinking the waste water at the end of the purification process. Much clearer than the icon to the left.

Mostly things worked just fine, although I do recall one of the plants breaking down on one occasion.

Sunderland hires IBM to build cloud infrastructure

Wi-fi mon

'Hands free' pissing contest games installed in boozer

And the IT angle is?

About 37 degrees.