Posts by DrJaymansLoveCookie

The Life and Times of Lester Haines

RIP Lester

Lester Haines: RIP

Rip Lester.

My condolences to his friends and family.

El Reg picked a pack of ace pic-titlers

Yes!, I got the most upvotes on /r/gonewild...

Yes!, that Angolan prince got my deposit. Now I can retire...

Remember that internet sales tax? Wasn't that a great idea? It's dead

congresscritters

Congresscritters is a bit too evolved, perhaps "Congressional complex organic molecules"?

Supreme Court can't find barge pole long enough to touch NSA lawsuit

"...the Supreme Court decided it doesn't have the need nor authority to make a decision on the legitimacy of the claim against the NSA."

Cowards.

PARIS soars to Guinness World Record

Congrats. ¡Muchas cervezas!

Huge fat pipe squirts mighty streams

Re: Re: WTF is the library of congress?

It was a typo in the article, what he meat to write was "Library Of Congers"

Mozilla chucks Roc at Microsoft's new hardness

@ FuzzyTheBear

"btw .. .is IE 9 out in any way ? even a public beta ? no ? yes ? until it's out the door .. they dont have a browser that does it. Come on .. typical MS bs .We're used to it by now."

I believe the term you are looking for is 'vaporware':-)

Have a beer

Colonel who slammed Afghan HQ PowerPoint culture is fired

"...the colonel is headed for his home in Finland..."

"...where he works in IT (he is a US Army reserve officer rather than a full-time regular)."

So he got rewarded?

Swedes decline to FCKU2MF

He's a programmer

if(E || R)

Microsoft 'gets serious' with Windows Phone 7 tools

Meh

This is the gazillionth MS hype article in the last two days. Enough already.

Balinese lad seduced by bovine temptress

Cliché

"Locals moved quickly to "cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow", arranging a quick and evidently entertaining seafont wedding..."

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Linux wins the SCO vs Novell case

Ha Ha!

Burn in hell SCO!

Tiger Woods succumbs to 'bulging d*ck'

Move along, nothing to see

It was just a slip. Now if she had said: "..with a bulging one-eyed trouser trout" or "...with a bulging blue veined love gun" or "...with a bulging Hilton hide hammer" then something would be amiss.

Ubuntu's Lucid Lynx stalks PC and Mac converts

"Aunt Elsa"

My mom at 62 had never used a computer in her life. After showing her how to do stuff she's surfing the web an writing e-mail. On *fedora* no less!

iPhone App Store bars mention of Google Android

And lo, the Lord Jobs did say...

1. You shall have no other platforms before mine.

US gov Photoshops bin Laden wanted pic

What I want to know,

Did the Rewards for Justice website for Poland photoshop a white guy's head onto his body?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/26/microsoft_head_transplant/

Write haiku, win home server

40 comments

Forty comments now,

and no Hitler mention yet.

Godwin's law, still valid?

Is this the world's dirtiest PC?

That's nothing, my friend's..

computer was emitting a foul smell. Seems the hard drive was full of shit.

So I removed Vista...

Charlize Theron to travel Mad Max's Fury Road

Charlize Theron!!

I am so going to see this movie.

I give Charlize 20 thumbs up.

Egyptians uptight about 'Artificial Virginity Hymen'

titleless

"country where women are expected to tie the knot with their cherry intact."

Not only in Islamic countries, there's are a lot of that 1300's mentality BS from the Southern Baptists in the US too.

BTW, that virginity thing is over rated. I like a woman who knows what she's doing.

Paris - she'll need a case of 'em.

Microsoft's web world shrinks

Browser pool

"Any bets on what the market share figures will look like in that time frame?"

37% - FF

58% - IE

In Oct 2010

Windows 7 OEM prices revealed

Got Snark?

For $190, you could build a nice little machine w/your choice of distro.

Microsoft throws $1m open-source party

The timing

MS gets caught brainwashing Best Buy drones then tries to deflect the criticism by putting this out there.

Prediction - The foundation will fail by next year

Chinese more willing to trust hookers than pols

Well duh!

"Chinese citizens consider prostitutes more trustworthy than politicians..."

That's because when you want to get screwed, you go with the hookers, when you *don't* want to get screwed...

The politician is more likely to steal cash out of you wallet when you're not looking, and more likely to give you a burning sensation while urinating.

El Reg to launch space paper plane

For the first tests,

I propose that the balloons be called - Balloon Orbital Launchers eXperimental or BOL-X for short

+1 for "El Buitre", 2nd choice "Vulture"

Microsoft shutters YouTube clone

1 video response to Microsoft shutters YouTube clone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo&NR=1

Gaza youth 'corrupted' by aphrodisiac chewing gum

Hey

"Palestinian man reported his daughter had suffered "dubious side effects" from the sinister chewable"

He caught her masticating in her room.

Michael Jackson manifests in California tree stump

I might be convinced...

.. that it's MJ, if the tree was made of plastic.

FTC settles with scareware scammers on reduced terms

No title required

Swindle people out of millions with fake software: $116 thou

Upload a few songs to share: $1.92 Million

Justice_System = FAIL;

Opera to 'reinvent the web' in four days

2 words

Holographic Pr0n

mmmm... 3-D Paris

Windows 7 to push up netbook prices

@ Simon 12

Dude, if you're going to to troll, you have to do better than that.