Posts by Reverend Brown

Standing NEXT to an HTML coder is like standing NEXT TO GOD

Otto Z. Stern's Shoreditch counterpart? I'll take it.

Asus: We are NOT killing off Transformer Prime

I'd love to buy one, but it won't happen. Can't even sniff one within a hundred miles of me. Retailers just nod knowingly when I ask for it. (Yeah, I'm a curmudgeon that wants to buy it at a retailer and take it home to play.) Worst case scenario, I keep my money and Asus can keep their manufacturing shortage.

if year > 2013 then PC != Personal Computer

Gartner...

...should pass around whatever he's smoking.

Sent from my Personal Computer.

Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Radioactive mutant prehistoric monsters?

This sounds like exactly what we will need to combat the 50ft Mayans storming across our fair planet later this year.

Fast food firm fields Sith sandwich

It's an Episode 1 burger, so obviously they are Midichlorians.

Darth Vader dies peacefully in hospital

Stay hard Darth Vader!

Christmas solar plasma belches to hit Earth, Mars - and Mars rover in space

I couldn't help but read

"the Sun has lately been giving vent to frightful burning eruptions of internal gas; ones sufficiently awful to mean fatal consequences for unprotected humans in their path.

Fortunately (in the case of the Sun at least) there are no such exposed bystanders."

in reference to the print edition and their readership instead of the burning sky orb.

Happy Birthday Intel 4004, and thanks for all the chips

Most everything under the "Site News" category is. It's the lesser remarked upon cousin's barber's brother's IT angle in the Bootnotes situation.

Jimbo Wales ponders Wikipedia blackout

Did you just call us Reggies?

Valve admits forum hack exposed gamers' privates

Sorry?

I'm trying to fathom here how this is better than Sony's breach. Saint Gabe said they're all very sorry? Well, that makes it all better.

Sorry isn't good enough. I found out about this through El Reg first, and there was no public message at that point, just vague references to an email many of us never received and that the forums were defaced. Now potentially their entire database was stolen?

Where are all the screaming muppets who cheered the Sony breach because Sony's an evil empire and deserved it? When are people going to learn that us users are the ones being preyed on here?

Neil Armstrong: US space program 'embarrassing'

Yeah... can't forget all the World of Warcraft going on.

Mine's the one knee deep in the dead on nightmare mode, no 3d required.

Netflix: How to completely screw up

No mention of the massive price hike that the movie industry has put on Netflix? The Starz deal wanted to increase their take from 30 million to 300 million, which won't be renewed. That's quite a bit more than the 60% rate hike. Other content prodivers are pulling the same crap.

Why is it Netflix's fault that they're not selling their product at a loss now?

I certainly do look forward to the Netflix aspects of my TV or game console being useless, after the fickle Internet whinges them into obscurity.

Adobe resuscitates 64-bit Flash for Linux

Ah...

Glad they got around to it. If that's one less bit of annoying trickery involved in being able to see "NYAN NYAN NYAN" on YouTube, then it's a tiny hair closer to public acceptance. Myself, I'll probably install it, and promptly install a flash blocker like usual.

Spawn of Satan, because you don't have a Beastie icon.

El Reg cuts ribbon on new Special Projects Bureau

Selective nosh interest

I'm still waiting for the deep fried guinea pigs, don't think I forgot. Kebab, parma, and rodent onna stick. There's a night to remember in the gutter.

I do look forward to the exploits of Vulture Central's Black Ops division. More garden shed science, please.

Name that donkey: Barbarella battles Bathsheba

Nice burrito.

Good luck, Lester... with... with your bottom.

Google euthanizes newspaper archive scan plan

Give us...

...headlines that matter. Leading articles on political turmoil. Huge sports moments, things that could potentially be timeless (which even then might be junk). All the day to day stuff is throw away. If newspapers thought it was worth archiving it all, it wouldn't be on... newsprint.

Amazon US offers gift cards, free shipment for your e-junk

Why not just flog it yourself?

I can understand going for the immediate and guaranteed gift card grab. It's definitely not for me, though. Looking at the prices they're offering and what the going rate is on a lot of that stuff, I'd much sooner go ahead and flog the merchandise on Amazon's own marketplace and make a significantly higher amount of actual money.

Now, that takes some more time, isn't a guaranteed sale, and involves doing a bit of customer service on occasion, but I want my money, not a gift card. Meeeh?

Paris, 'cause she don't take Amazon credit, either.

US admiral reveals safety plan for Zombie Apocalypse

Brilliant.

Great move by the CDC to boost emergency awareness. They're using a fictional, absurd event that most everyone can imagine thanks to movies and video games, and tying how the same steps apply to actual emergencies. Extra points for the attention grabbing headlines that got them play on the bastion of humor and fun that is Fox News. Well done, CDC. Nice to know you've got some humans in there.

Windows phones send user location to Microsoft

Ah...

I tend to leave my mobile at home. John Law must think I'm a shut-in.

Fukushima situation as of Wednesday

Tone?

His first article was certainly full of enough zeal to make folks a little uncomfortable, but the point is sound.

"Nonetheless its human consequences seem certain to remain insignificant against the horrifying backdrop of the earthquake tragedy elsewhere in Japan"

Media's focusing on the wrong tragedy.

Man sentenced for breaching former employer's computers

Idiot.

Didn't he watch Hackers?

Sony tweets 'secret' key at heart of PS3 jailbreak case

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Sony Legal adds vetting posts for the PR droids to their job description?

Dirty PCs: How much filth can you take?

Remind me....

.....again why I don't eat and read the bootnotes. Baaahf. I do appreciate the reminder that on the worst day, I've never run into true filth when opening up a computer.

Keyboard, but that's not coffee.

Google releases stable version of Chrome 7

why yes

Chrome does in fact auto-update without telling me. If I hadn't read this article on El Reg, I'd probably never have noticed. I might have set it up that way, dunno, don't care.

Facebook on the blink for second time in two days

Oh no.

Do some work, read a book, pet your real cat instead of fawning over pictures of them, I dunno. Big deal.

It's alive! Duke Nukem Forever breaks out of vapour trail

Thanks a lot, Gearbox

I rather wish they'd stop bothering the corpse. With over a decade of hype, this had better be one damn awesome game. I'd prefer no game to some travesty, but if they're gonna do it, let's see what they got.

Daikatana suddenly springs to mind.

Striking workers will curb network upgrades, claims BT

so...

Give everyone 2%, and you're suddenly able to afford to give everyone the same raise.

Commodore 64 may come back as Warren Beatty

Memories indeed

All I've got left from my Commodore 64 and 128 (blast that 128) setup is the 1702 monitor. Still runs, used to use it for the gamecube and some dvds when I didn't have much of a television going on. Makes for an "art" piece now, I guess. While I enjoyed running the computer at the time, I do not miss it at all. Rest in peace, is all I have to say.

Apple in Brazilian iPad shocker

No, the other I-PAD.

Change your pads name. Not that big of a deal.

Steve

Sent from my ambulance

Frisco fanboi frenzy on 'iPad Day'

The Reg's money?

I fully expected my commentard subscription money to go towards the magnificent Miss Bee's compensation package, not your Jobsian magical mystery tour shenanigans. Coat please.

Also, my local Best Buy had a pile of 20-30 iPads sitting behind the counter. When they asked if I wanted one... eh. No thanks. Nice lady didn't look surprised at all. Magical indeed.

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Seriously?

Buy a beer.

Battle lines drawn in Apple-Google warfare

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

I, for one, welcome the dawning of our new empire.

I hope it's televised.

Google Wave opens extensions gallery

Oh.

Is that still around?

Apple ambushed in Barcelona

Logo

Upon inspection of the WAC website... is it me, or does the WIND logo resemble a butt?

Google doppelgänger casts riddle over interwebs

nothing new.

3com is the first to come to my mind. Big deal.

Canonical scoops Alfresco man for operations

Semi-coherent

I only know his name from his recordings with Ashlee Vance here on El Reg. I enjoyed those. Good luck to him.

Windows 7 RC 'buy a copy' shut downs start next month

err.

My paychecks are bi-weekly, and I assure you they do not arrive as frequently as you suggest.

Microsoft 'offered sex and drugs to distributors'

ad campaign?

So who's going to deliver the "Hookers and blow, that was my idea" line?

Steve Wozniak, your time is up

Re: Steve Wozniak, your time is up

I peed a little.

Thanks for the big fat laughs.

Swedish Weight Watchers bring down the house

correction

I disagree. I think Miss Bee has an intensely personal army.

Please?

Google gets all Minority Report with Street View

Choco factory

When I think of the chocolate factory, I think of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zail7Gdqro

Strange, Charlie, but it's fun!

How Google became Microsoft: A decade of hits, misses and gaffes

Nonsense.

I've seen the vulture side itself with Google before. Once. Okay, just today, even.

NZ gal's Bulgarian airbags halt traffic

Cold day?

Must've been a bit nippy out. Guess you really can cut glass with 'em.

Lawyers pursue banned Xbox Live gamers

Steam.

Steam method? Tying a game to a login ID?

The reason I buy games for my xbox instead of through Steam is so that I can sell the games later if I so choose. Can I do that through Steam? No. No I can't.

Amazon punters go mad for 'Laptop Steering Wheel Desk'

wat.

My only compaint... are the peoples who did not post amusing captions to their disaster photos on amazon. Forcing me to make up my own... for shame!

Apple cult leader emails outside world

Fresh aire.

I love it. This is exactly how I would respond if I wouldn't fear getting fired. Screw customers. Love their money. Go go Jobbo.

Mine's the one with the handmedownmacbookpro in the extra wide pockets.

Blogger outs back-end Google tech

Adwords?

Who's going to bid to for me to wipe my ass with their adwords? Anyone? Anyone?

Mandriva flashes its small aggressive penguin

Feel your guests.

No, really.

"Feel your guests like home."

Don't mind if I do!

http://www2.mandriva.com/linux/features/

Early adopters bloodied by Ubuntu's Karmic Koala

1 / 2

Flawless install on my Acer Aspire One. Nevermind the crapware it installed for me, or the other annoyances pointed out earlier. It's working as it is 'supposed' to.

Complete failure when trying to install onto my file server. Used to have one of the 2008 releases on there, so I figured safe bet, right? 9.10 doesn't recognize the hard drives, of course. Fat lot of good a file server is without hard drives.

I turned to FreeBSD when my patience ran out.

Aspiring model pleasures Taoist master

There is no spoon.

I know Kwok-Fu.

Mine's the black leather with the bottle of red pills in the pocket.