Posts by Alan 6

UN set to dump GMT for tech-friendly Atomic Time

*The Sunday Times said that it would truly mark the end of our days as a "Victorian superpower".*

Are they aware she died 110 years ago?

This weekend: First ever iPADS IN SPAAAACE

I thought rockets were fast

So it takes off at around 11pm on 29th October, and is expected to dock at 1:15 on November 2nd, that's a little over 75 hours (clocks go back 2am on 30th Oct) to reach an object that's around 200 miles up.

It didn't take much longer for Apollo 11 to reach the moon...

Porsche finds top gear with BlackBerry design

Bargain

Far too cheap, if you're buying an exclusive phone to lose down the toilet you may as well go to 5 figures for a Vertu or Tag Hauer Link

Fire burns away the Kindle dream of interactivity

The only thing I've ever used the keyboard for on my kindle is entering the wi-fi password and the odd web address.

It's by a long chalk the best e-book reader, and that's all it is.

Local radio stations band together against DAB

Well that's a good honest name there Grease Monkey, yes I'm called Alan, the number 6 was applied by the El Reg servers, there must be another 5 Alans in here somewhere.

Interesting how us drivers with DAB radios in our cars are all being down-voted for being honest - yes DAB in cars does work...

I'm not a liar, and I do travel quite a lot, about 2,000 miles a month

I drive from North of Lancaster to Manchester three times a week, 65 miles each way. The DAB signal drops a couple of times for about 30 seconds.

If I drive north then it drops more frequently, and that's the point, it drops, it doesn't go to the bubbling mud, it's either there, or it isn't.

I'm not saying this is the experience everyone will have, but it works for me.

by the way, at least I've got the guts to use a name, unlike someone who's just called me a liar

I've got DAB in my car too, works fine with the stubby antenna on the roof, signal doesn't degrade to bubbling mud, it just cuts out.

I live in rural North Lancashire, bordering Cumbria, and the signal is OK most of the time.

During the summer it was perfect, I could listen to TMS in crystal clear digital audio, then when I did reach somewhere the DAB signal didn't I could just drop down to 198 Long Wave.

Yes indeed, the Boost radio in the MINI has DAB and Long Wave, I suspect there's a cricket fan on the MINI design team...

1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

1 in 3,200 is considered remote

Yet on Friday night millions of people across Europe will be clutching tickets that have 1 in 116,531,800 chance of ruining their lives with a single cheque for far too much money.

Better get the tin hat out in case a chunk falls through the roof just as my numbers are drawn...

Nearing iPhone 5 launch prompts operator action

Hype

Can we have a moratorium on iPhone 5 stories until it actually arrives - then once it ships a single review followed by no more than one story a week.

Failing that, please rename the site iPhone News

Domino's to serve pizzas on the Moon, apparently

Emergency Pizza

Emergency Pizza is even quicker

1 slice white bread

1 jar of ketchup

Toast bread

apply ketchup

eat

DARPA software to trawl Bin Laden laptops, thumb drives

NSA Contacts

Amazingly there are a number of ways to contact the NSA

http://www.nsa.gov/public_info/contacts/index.shtml

Or you could just send yourself an email headed "Death to the President" and a representative will be in touch shortly...

CSI

Can't they just make a call to the producers of CSI, they've got this software already :-)

Seriously though, I work for a CCTV distributor and we often get people asking for this kind of stuff, and the usual comment when I say it's not something you can do is "well I saw them do it on CSI last week" - and these are CCTV professionals, not Joe Public.

I was also asked for "a really big camera, you know, like the one Google Earth uses", I gave that guy the number for NASA...

What vegetables are best for growing in Spaaace?

American Volume of Potato research

The American Volume of Potato Research stretches to 64 volumes.

Where exactly in this enormous tome does it cover the crime that is McDonald's "Fries"

Sky makes iPad trolley for square-eyed shoppers

Sky must think we're all idiots

Mind you, anyone who stumps up the monthly fee to subsidise the multi-millionaire footballers lifestyles isn't exactly firing on all cylinders...

Ultra-cheap HP TouchPads to hit UK at 6pm

Seems to be sold out

Just managed to get on the site at 18:10, clicked the 16gb model and that just shot me back to the main menu, navigated back to the 32gb version, the site was like swimming through treacle, and was offered some 7" tat from Advent at £129.99 instead...

Virgin Media flogs off UKTV stake for £339m

Dave = UK Gold 2

On Dave's blog on April Fools Day they said they were launching a sister channel called Davina. I almost believed it.

Then a couple of weeks back a new channel was added to Freeview called Reality - I think this is the lady's version of Dave. Instead of all day Top Gear & Mock The Week you get all day Snog Marry Avoid

LinkedIn pulls Facebook-style stunt

Thanks

Just turned it off, along with "Enhanced Advertising".

Took me a while to find the settings button though, in the end I just clicked the edit button on managed connections and dug down to the Privacy Settings from there.

Sony confirms investigation into warehouse blaze is underway

sprinklers not totally effective

Sprinklers just use water, if it's an electrical fire they make things worse, if the fire is started with petrol or oil then they do no good at all.

Only really useful with wood or paper fires, not when you have thousands of tonnes of plastic going up in flames

Sony distribution centre engulfed by fire

Same for business

When I managed a shop our stock & buildings were not covered for Civil Unrest, as I found out when our very large & costly front window was smashed during a football riot.

As the police had declared it a riot the insurance company refused to pay for the new window...

Use found for Twitter and Liz Jones

This is a title

This t-shirt says it all really

http://www.shotdeadinthehead.com/product_view.aspx?pid=940

Googlenet runs on '900,000 servers'

Mostly dies before upgrade due

There's a video in the ether somewhere, in it a Google boffin explains that they generally run low spec commodity hardware, and run it hard, just like a frenchman driving a Citroen.

This means that the hardware doesn't last very long at all, so is replaced long before an upgrade would be due, so they keep up to date due to natural wastage.

Google did a survey on hard drives as well that most hard drive manufacturers have devoured to see how their drives cope with extremely high workloads. In one data-farm Google were losing a drive every 45 minutes or so.

PDF report - http://static.googleusercontent.com/external_content/untrusted_dlcp/labs.google.com/en//papers/disk_failures.pdf

PLCs a prison vulnerability: researchers

Americanisms

There's no need to use the made up word "potentiality" when the real word "potential" does the job in that sentence...

Scumbags get sneaky with new self-robbery trojan

This is just bollocks

If a bank transfers money into your account by accident they simply pull it back, along with any interest you may have earned in the meantime.

They did this to a former colleague, he checked his balance in an ATM and he had way more than expected. He went inside the bank to report this and by the time he'd found a manager the money had gone anyway.

Some people are just so stupid they're just thief magnets and would be robbed blind at some point anyway.

Canon crossbreeds mouse with adder

Why the anger

Where in the article does it say you'll be forced by law to buy one?

So why the high blood pressure?

It's a mouse with a built in calculator, quite a neat idea really. It doesn't have margin & tax functions, so not for me, but too many buttons would have made it to big, so it does what most people want.

LOHAN: She's low orbit and helium assisted

Banner

I've no comment on the backronym, but I love the Playmobil activity behind the page banner

TalkTalk watchdog smackdown after ad complaint

No punishment

I always wonder about these ASA rulings where they say adverts cannot be shown in this form anymore.

The rulings are almost always long after the promotion has ended, so the advert won't be shown again...

Amazon's anti-iPad arises 'in October'

I'm agreeing too

Never had any problems with Amazon.

Their customer service is pretty supreme as well.

When my gf accidentally stood on her Kindle they delivered a new one next day, then a couple of days later they delivered a box & return label to send back the old one.

Once she'd set up the new kindle it downloaded all the books she'd purchased on the last one.

Brilliant...

Parmo v poutine: The ultimate post-pub nosh deathmatch

Chips Cheese and Gravy

When I worked at a certain disreputable PC "manufacturer" in Burnley we used to go to a local pub on Fridays and partake of their speciality, which was chips, cheese & gravy. Assembled in that order.

This, along with the Thwaites bitter used to wash it down, was one of the reasons not to buy a Time PC made on a Friday (or any other day to be honest...

The Cube: Apple's daftest, strangest romance

Title

A friend was on design course in 2001 and the college had just splashed out on loads of G4 cubes, but they couldn't spring for the full monty model, so the G4s were sans Radeon card.

This meant that running Maya 3D was like swimming through treacle. The desks were also laid out so that one cube sucked in the hot air from the cube next to it, so over heating was an issue.

Having said that, it was a wonderful looking piece of kit...

Fridge-sized war raygun for US bombers gets $40m

$39,833,499

Couldn't they have rounded that up to $40m?

Metro Bank in schoolboy email error snafu

How to lose customers

I think we can deduce from this that on Friday Metro Bank had 1,200 customers. Today they have somewhat less than this amount...

Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock

Lost in translation

Anyone ever read an instruction manual translated from modern Korean into modern English? Laughable aren't they.

Yet the god botherers somehow reckon that a book translated from ancient Hebrew and Aramaic into English via ancient Greek & Latin is somehow the exact word of the sky captain.

Idiots doesn't come close to describing these people

Radio 4 bumped off Freeview by Gaelic TV

Because

Not everyone can pick up DAB, so it's the only way to listen to Radcliffe & Maconie now they've been shunted from Radio 2 to Radio 6

Israeli couple dub sprog 'Like'

Dweezil

Dweezil Zappa's birth name is Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa, as the hospital wouldn't allow Frank Zappa to register the name DDweezil on the birth records.

When Dweezil found out he was actually called Dweezil he changed his name by deed poll.

Personally I think Dweezil is a much better name than Arnold, or Alan for that matter...

GCHQ man: Powerline networks do interfere with radio

Time Lord?

"The letter was prepared in May, leaked in March, and the pdf is now available on the Ban PLT web site."

Leaked two months before it was written - or is there a year missed off the months...

HP pets network-connected mouse

me no understand

My Logitech 2.4ghz mouse has a tiny receiver that sticks out less than 5mm from the side of my laptop and doesn't snag on my laptop bag.

The mouse has an on/off switch to save batteries.

it cost less than £20.

Why would I want a wi-fi mouse unless I wanted to control several laptops at once, that would be fun though...

Sony Pictures opens wallet for Bond 23

"At least in Quantum of Solace they got the drink right!"

You sure?

In Casino Royale they got the recipe for the Vesper right

"Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel"

As far as I recall, as it's a while since I read Quantum of Solace, Bond just drank brandy while the Governor of the Bahamas told him a story

Cue lots of...

Sony products prominently displayed.

I actually like Daniel Craig as Bond, and Casino Royale was a good film, probably the closest any of the Bond films have stuck to the book. Then Quantum of Solace went the other other way, and just took the title of a short story that features Bond being told a rather sad story about a Burmudan embassy employee and his disintegrating marriage...

Amazon splatters ads to cut Kindle price

why the fear of ads?

Really, what's the problem?

I use Gmail, there's apparently ads at the top of the screen, and down the side, but I don't notice them.

If the ad is on the standby screen then what's the big deal? when the unit is in standby you're not using it.

On the menu screen an ad doesn't matter, you navigate the menu and ignore the ad.

Do you people not buy newspapers & magazines, or watch TV, or walk round town, or go to the pictures - really, just take a chill pill and relax, they're only suggesting things you might like to buy, you don't have to hand over any cash unless you actually buy the goods...

Hasselblad H4D-40 Stainless Steel 40Mp camera

Calculator needed I think

Sorry, basic mental arithmetic error on my part

Price

So how much is a pot of red paint these days?

How could it possibly has £6k to the cost of a camera, especially as there's 5x as many around as the ltd ed stainless model.

Also, why does the 80mm lens cost more on the stainless body than it does on the standard one, when it's exactly the same lens.

Stop sexing up IT and give Civil Servants Macs, says gov tech boss

Economy

"1 bit of good news for the economy, the IT gravy train will resume normal service shortly."

Yes, but if he has his way it won't be the UK economy that improves, the sales will go to Cupertino...

iPad 2, A5 chip, and Smart Cover strip-searched

Will it blend

I think the answer is Yes - http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=ipad

Is Apple planning incompatible payments?

Apple = Sony

Apple are just like Sony - make shiny boxes and insist on following their own standards.

Anyone remember Betamax - yeah it was the best system, but it was beaten by the overwhelming might of just about everyone else jumping in the VHS bandwagon...

Feeling heat from Macs, Microsoft sells PCs sans crapware

Safari

Same goes for a Mac and Safari

You get a choice of Browser with Windows, when you run it first time you get a pop-up box and can choose your browser. Personally I always go from Chrome, it's the fastest and least bloated.

I've yet to see a news story saying that the EU or whatever have made Apple offer a similar choice to all the iSheep who buy their shiny toys...

Custom images

If you buy more than a few PCs Dell will prepare a custom image for you with just the OS, and any other software you like.

Our PCs come installed with SAP, Office 2007 and McAfee

Crime UK site gets 400m hits, drives down property values

Love the crime maps site

It proves beyond doubt that I'm doing the right thing moving.

In December there were 35 reported crimes on my street, and from the nightly wail of sirens it's probably an accurate figure.

In the same month there were 18 reported crimes in the whole town where I'm moving.

Trouble is my car insurance company don't seem to have access to these figures yet, as my insurance cost hasn't come down with the change of address...

replying to posts

See that purple "Reply to this post" button at the bottom of each post, if you click that then you're reply drops right in there below the relevant post rather than several posts below...

Health experts flip over McD's burger-flip toy

Branding

So this toy will make the poor kids aware of the McDonalds brand will it.

OK, if you want to shelter your kids from that evil word then don't take them near ANY high street, or shopping mall, or out of town retail park. And god forbid you ever turn on a TV.

It may be easier just to take a small spoon and pop out their eyes before they ever see the golden arches...

Europe confirms raids on ebook publishers

Daylight robbery

Bought a Sony PRS-350 at christmas and am totally shocked at the price of books.

I look at one at the weekend.

Waterstones.com hardback £12.99, epub £13.98, paperback £4.54

Amazon Kindkle edition £3.95

I bought it in paperback from Asda at £3.84

PRS-350 going on ebay I think...