* Posts by B4PJS

77 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Excel Hell: It's not just blame for pandemic pandemonium being spread between the sheets

B4PJS

Re: Anyone Remember Lotus Imrov

PowerBI is fast overtaking Tableau as the tool of choice in Business reporting. The underlying data engine is also built into excel as powerquery and can handle 100's of millions of rows very easily in excel.

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

B4PJS
Facepalm

The official term - Spreadmarts

The bane of the Business Intelligence professional everywhere.

Having been in this industry for a long time now, xls/x has been the bane of many projects I have been on. But yeah guessing xls was the lowest common denominator for getting this thing to run properly on antiquated systems.

CSV's are great, except for when they are not. Even getting Databricks to correctly read files can be a pain in the rectum. Give me a day or two with their ETL processes and I could prob build a decent platform with pretty power bi reports (I would farm out making the reports pretty to a colleague as all I am good at is tables ) and a robust etl pipeline with all checks and balances in place.

Ah well, back to my day job of breaking Azure, and then bugging the product teams as to how and when they can do better than me with their own products

Vauxhall VXR8: You know when you've been tangoed

B4PJS

Re: Aussie cars FTW!

Yes they are. They will badge it up with the original HSV badges if you speak to the right dealership. They apply the badges when it gets into the country anyway, so it is not hard for them to apply the HSV ones.

B4PJS

A few comments from an owner :)

Fairly decent article though I do have a few comments.

1. Yes the HUD binnacle does reflect, though you cannot see it when wearing decent sunglasses.

2. From the Maserati review: £63,750 basic, £80,852 as tested RRP. Comparing the price of the VXR8 GTS against the Maserati is a bit disingenuous when the max I could add to the base spec of the GTS on ordering it was £3k. £1.5k for the auto, and £1.5k for the sunroof. Neither of which I went for.

3. Noise. Yes it is quiet when the Bimodal exhaust is closed, but it is a two minute job to keep it fully open. Just reverse the non-return vacuum valve under the engine cover and it really does improve the noise throughout the range, rather than only when the electronics tell the system to open :)

4. Road noise. Guessing you were on the south side of the M25. If you turn it to race mode to firm up the suspension it does alleviate most of the noise, but yes, it is slightly annoying.

I love owning this car, it has so far been a really fun experience, long may it continue.

B4PJS

Re: If I had the cash

I do this all the time in mine :) They sit on your exhaust in traffic when there is no bloody room to get out of their way, but then when the road in front of me opens up they are nowhere to be seen surprisingly. Only thing that has been a match so far is a C63 AMG

Hey, Microsoft, why don't you grab a beer with us?

B4PJS

Not so for the SQL Community

The MS SQL community has regular free events around the world and I have loads of help through Twitter from both MVP's and also some of the core architects of the SQL engine.

I think the problem the author is seeing is that there is no one MS group because the core technologies are so different. I personally don't want to go near Exchange or learn about it as it is outside my area of expertise. Whereas with VMware, I assume, everything within the VMware sphere is close enough that it makes sense to have just the one community.

BOFH: Backup server's failed? We have a backup backup server

B4PJS

Brilliant

>ca-click<

N. Joseph Woodland, inventor of the barcode, dies at 91

B4PJS
Thumb Down

Re: Circular bar codes

I think the idea was to actually use a linear scanning line as it works now, it can just be read at any angle. My thought as to why they are not used now is they were probably too big for a lot of packaging.

Microsoft Surface with Windows 8 Pro gets laptop-level price

B4PJS

Re: Think of it as...

It does come with a mouse (well trackpad). Bloody useful for navigating those annoying websites that use onMouseOver events that are fucking impossible to use on a touch only device. And even then some mouseover sites are damn near impossible to use WITH a mouse (Bugzilla I'm looking at you)

Should Microsoft merge Office into Windows - or snap it off?

B4PJS

Re: Not really

Sorry, had to downvote you for using the dreaded "A" word.

Nokia Lumia 920 Windows Phone 8 handset review

B4PJS
FAIL

Re: Yet its still not ready...

@ShelLuser

He wasn't actually referring to local scout, he was referring to Nokia Transport. Read The Sodding Review before making an incorrect comment.

B4PJS

Right now in Phones4U (If they haven't sold out already)

B4PJS

Re: Notifications

@Kristian:

I would actually posit that Google exist to sell you to other companies to make money

Microsoft rolls out always-on Skype for Windows Phone 8

B4PJS
Devil

Re: ...always-on Skype...

Data packages. Refer to EE pricing for more information...

iPad Mini's quite a handful

B4PJS
Coffee/keyboard

Re: "Apple's iPad Mini is not easy to hold in one hand"

damn you own me a new keyboard, I really didn't expect to read that!

B4PJS

Re: portrait holding

The extremely thin bezel they had to use to keep their 4:3 aspect ratio down to a respectable width like the width of a competing 16:9 7 incher.

Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

B4PJS
WTF?

Damn it, as I was walking to the station the other day, I was thinking of calling my cappucino a frothy coffee for a laugh. Didn't realise that the mind readers thought I was serious!

Dry martini, shaken not stirred: Cracking the physics of Bond's martini

B4PJS

Re: Damn, where to start

So basically what it is saying is that 4 Martinis are incapacitating...

Nobody knows what to call Microsoft's ex-Metro UI

B4PJS
Stop

Re: How about the obvious "Windows Touch"

Can't use TUI, it is the name of a very large Travel group.

Ballmer bets 'all in' on Phone 8 and Windows

B4PJS

Clove will have the 920 SIM free early november :)

Xbox SmartGlass hits Android ahead of schedule

B4PJS
FAIL

Not sure why you say android gets to enjoiy it before Microsoft's mobile customers. It is available on WP7 you know. MS mobile customers don't start withy WP8 you know...

N00bs vs Windows 8: We lock six people in a room with new OS

B4PJS
FAIL

Re: @Psyx ...In a positive an unbiased manner." I agree. There was not a snide bone......

But the fact that one punter said "There should have been a tutorial" and THERE IS A TUTORIAL shows what complete and utter bollocks the test was.

B4PJS

Re: TIFKAM tiles and colours?

On WP, you choose the colour of the tiles when selecting a theme (At least untill a dev decides to ignore the theme colour and substitute their own colour). On W8 it seems fairly random.

B4PJS
Thumb Up

Re: Charm bar thing....

First login to a new account

B4PJS
FAIL

Re: @Psyx ...In a positive an unbiased manner." I agree. There was not a snide bone......

There is a tutorial when you login with a new account for the first time that describes the edge/corner system perfectly. It was actually a travesty that ElReg decided not to show this to the punters.

Better luck next time Blofeld! Five Bond plot myths busted

B4PJS
Headmaster

Re: This report worth reading...

Should really be written as TWOC (Taken Without Owners Consent)

/pedant

Microsoft really is watching us from above

B4PJS
FAIL

Re: The whole concept is off-putting

BING Is Not Google

Nokia tears wraps off new Windows Phone Lumias on steroids

B4PJS
FAIL

It's not just the lens that is stabalised, but the whole damn caboodle. If every gadget leak photographer used this there would be a lot less Mr BlurryCam pics :-)

B4PJS
Thumb Up

Re: Another Flop

"As an aside the Samsung WP8 phone also has a 8MP camera. Is this the maximum that WP8 allows in software and therefore Nokia were forced design around software limitations with hardware?"

Nope, one of the HTC's you mentioned has a 16MP cam, the HTC Titan II

The world's first Windows Phone 8 hands on – what's it like?

B4PJS

Actual real life video from the launch day kicking about somewhere where you actually see the Nokia rep shaking the camera about with and without stabiliisation. Works really well :-)

B4PJS

Got tethering on my L800. Not sure why you never got that update

Listen up, Nokia: Get Lumia show-offs in pubs or it's game over

B4PJS

Re: I'd hold off on commenting on the quality of the Nokia camera

Check out The Verge. They have picture samples from the real hardware.

Oh no, sysadmins! VMware touts data centre that runs itself

B4PJS
Stop

Bugger off

It is bad enough that my DB servers have had to be virtualised, they can take my dedicated disks away from me out of my cold, lifeless hands.

Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Universal Remote Control review

B4PJS
Coat

Sounds Effects

Surely the power off command should be accompanied by the dulcet tones of a Dalek screaming "EXTERMINAAAATE"

Can YOU crack the Gauss uber-virus encryption?

B4PJS

Re: diyf

After scanning through reams of code looking for differences, I use the good old method of looking for where the spaces don't line up.

'$199' Surface tablets: So crazy it might work, or just crazy?

B4PJS
FAIL

Incorrect Statement in article

IIRC, only the Surface Pro will have the stylus. Not the Surface RT.

Just found this: http://www.microsoft.com/global/surface/en/us/renderingassets/surfacespecsheet.pdf

States that only the Pro will have a pen with palm block.

Microsoft reveals Windows RT OEMs

B4PJS

Re: Officially baffled...

What train do you get that has a decent enough connection for Skype?

Anyway, MS is looking at making Skype work in the browser.

B4PJS

Re: Er, that gesture graphic...

Nipples to all my mates.

Snap suggests Apple out to 'screw' hardware hackers

B4PJS

Re: Time for a new law

Similar to a Torx, but has a spike in the middle of the screw makes them "Tamper Proof" http://www.toolspot.co.uk/product/7pc-precision-torx-screwdrivers-in-case

I guess it stops the old "Use a flat blade" trick.

Facebook touts gambling to 'responsible' Brits

B4PJS

Re: Risk

You generally need to have registered a British card first to make a deposit to your account.

Amazon exploited by hacker in scribe's epic Apple iCloud pwn

B4PJS
Stop

Re: tl;dr

Dont use ActiveSync on iOS or Android. They suffer from MiTM attacks unlike WinPho http://wmpoweruser.com/ios-android-devices-vulnerable-to-remote-wipe-with-false-certificate-windows-phone-not/

'We asked firms if they were looking at Windows 8, most laughed'

B4PJS
Stop

Re: Windows 8 - quoi ?

You really should upgrade SQL to at least 2K8R2 if not go to 2012. There is so much improved between the way 2k5 and 2k8 that it doesn't make sense not to.

WinPho to eke out 4% of US smartphone biz

B4PJS

Re: There isn't even a decent torch app in the WinPho app store

Maybe because the camera function that controls the LED is part of the media libraries, seeing as how tightly combined the camera is to the pictures hub...

Microsoft picks October 26 for Windows 8 launch

B4PJS
Thumb Up

Yup, looking forward to it as well. Really liking Office 2013 too. Now they just need to announce WP8 release date and I am set for my winter spending spree :-)

Apple silences mute kids' speech app in patent blowup

B4PJS
Coat

Wierdly interested in the weather

She must have British genes...

Brit judge orders Facebook to rip masks from anonymous cowards

B4PJS

Re: Facebook has a real name culture

But surely the cats real name is on the account...

Windows 8: We kick the tyres on Redmond's new tablet wheels

B4PJS

Re: flash baked in? so adverts unavoidable?

I think you meant

"Firefox will be able to work in Desktop mode on Windows 8 for x86, but won't work on Windows 8 for ARM"

B4PJS
FAIL

Re: flash baked in? so adverts unavoidable?

If you actually cared to do a little research my dear chap, before prattling on like a fool, you would realise that it is a cut down version of flash that only allows certain whitelisted sites play flash content. I am certain that this list does not include advertisers.

Nokia Lumia 900 WinPho 7 smartphone

B4PJS

Re: so

Custom Alarm tone:

So that wasn't a custom alarm tone that woke me up this morning then. Odd.

You can actually set any ringtone as an alarm tone - currently I have Dizzy Rascal - Bonkers for weekdays, and Andy Williams - Moon River as my weekend alarm.

BYOD sync 'n share

B4PJS
Happy

Re: SkyDrive

You can actually just map a network drive to skydrive...

Anyway, I use live mesh to sync my documents between my computers, any files that dont fit in the 5GB cap for the cloud can sync directly to each other (just remember not to put DB backups in your synced directory, can consume lots of bandwith :-p)

I think MS are merging Mesh and Skydrive, which will be awesome :)

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