* Posts by N2

1592 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

Brit bank Barclays probed amid claims bosses used high-tech to spy on staff, measure productivity

N2 Silver badge

Grubby organisation

Responsible for a lot of misery, more so than most.

Barge pole icon - wouldnt touch them with

UK puts £200m on table for dynamic purchasing system to supply public sector with AI

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Trollface

Re: I need help to decipher this article!

What on earth is "a dynamic purchasing system"?

One that buys from the highest seller?

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Re: What's the betting

Mais oui,

The stringent requirements to deliver too late, too little and of course be well over budget, again.

Turd icon, because it smells.

Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data

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Trollface

Well done MS

Pretty slick to just take 16 years

Microsoft confirms pursuit of TikTok after Satya Nadella chats to Donald Trump

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Trollface

Re: “Don’t worry Donald, we’ll take care of it”

And no one will be able to use it after a Tuesday 'update'

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

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Mushroom

Re: Which is why I always turn off email sigs...

There is one thing far worse than an email signature in an email and it's...

See below:

What follows is a conversation between at least 7 or 8 people, usually representing three or four different organisations, none of which you really know. Theres a bit of light hearted office banter, plus some exceptionally dull humour, all of which you are expected to troll through to find the nugget of information you really need in a vain attempt to enlighten your miserabe existence.

I personally, don't sign up to this mantra, replying with a 'Please explain what you really want me to do' as amiguousness and error loom along with usually fairly severe consequencies.

Really, I'd like to tell them to stop being so f'ing lazy and skip the bile they just forwarded to me and cut to the chase.

Or I ring them up to inform I accidentally deleted it. But there you go, see below justifies global thermo nuclear war because only that will wipe it for eternity.

It's been five years since Windows 10 hit: So... how's that working out for you all?

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Trollface

The best thing

Is not having to use it.

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Trollface

Re: How's that working? See icon.

Utterly confused and always playing catch up.

Theres a nice range of courses to (re) learn what you already know and it will always 'revised' in the next version taking you back to square one.

Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory

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NT4 / W2000 to a Novell 3.11 server, was perhaps the most productive and least destructive environment for me.

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Pint

Agreed

Huge respect for what Bill and Melinda have achieved charity wise

Pints for efforts

And if their software was perfect, I wouldn't have (semi) retired at 52

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

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Re: HR told me that he ticked all the boxes

"Unfortunately, HR not being capable of actually evaluating people for the job (whatever the job)"

Too true, HRs sole existence is to protect senior management from their own numerous cock ups.

Keep it Together, Microsoft: New mode for vid-chat app Teams reminds everyone why Zoom rules the roost

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I would imagine

Pretty well anything wins because it is less anoying.

Microsoft do lead the field in one area: annoyances

GCHQ's cyber arm report on Huawei said to be burning hole through UK.gov desks

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No doubt

The Fail headline was something like:

Spy shocker in very TINY bikini...

Microsoft has a cure for data nuked by fat fingers if you're not afraid of the command line

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Pint

Pint

For your efforts

It's now safe to turn off your computer shop: Microsoft to shutter its bricks-and-mortar retail locations worldwide

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Re: Microsoft store Vs Apple store

One has customers?

Windows 10 Insider wondering where Notepad has gone? Fear not, Microsoft found it down the back of Dev Channel

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Trollface

Re: Good Grief...

Because their twat-o-meter is full hard over to 'complete wanker' mode and they have to screw around with anything and everything.

If its old and worked thats no good

If its new but is so fucked around with it doesnt work how it used to but we've added 'cool stuff' then thats fine.

Yuk.

Amazon's not saying its warehouse staff are dumb... but it feels they need artificial intelligence to understand what 'six feet' means

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Facepalm

6 feet?

You'll need three in a bed for that.

Whose side you on, Nominet? Registry floods .co.uk owners with begging emails to renew unwanted .uk domains

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Mushroom

Re: Is this Fraud?

It most certainly is fraud in my opinion, but only if you committed the dirty act.

Whilst Nominet are completely beyond reproach and such scummy tactics to drum up business harvested from the green slime of DROA & DROE, are of course perfectly acceptable, they wear suits and nice shoes don't you know?

Icon, because that is what Nominet need.

Don't like Mondays? Neither does Microsoft 364's Outlook Exchange Online service

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Microsoft 364...

Thats being generous.

In Hancock's half-hour, Dido Harding offers hollow laughs: Cake distracts test-and-trace boss at UK COVID-19 briefing

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Facepalm

Queen Carnage

The moment I read that, I instantly though she now worked for Crapita

The two seem a perfect fit.

US govt accuses four Chinese army soldiers of hacking Equifax and siphoning 145m Americans' personal info

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Whats really needed

Is the Spanish inquistion, NO-body expects the Spanish Inquisition!

whose main elements are fear and surprise...

fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, fanatical devotion to the Pope oh and the nice red uniforms

Ducking stool icon perhaps?

Easyjet hacked: 9 million people's data accessed plus 2,200 folks' credit card details grabbed

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Mushroom

Re: Never store CC details

Worse still are the Uber wankers like Lloyds bank that wont allow the use of extended char set !@£$% etc.

Icon is what they need>>

Windows invokes Sgrîn Las Marwolaeth upon Newport

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Trollface

Diddnt realise

with all the stability of a journo after an hour at a free bar.

It was as good as that.

Latest Microsoft 365 'wave of innovation' really just involves adding or renaming a bunch of update channels

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Trollface

10 minutes?

You are 'aving a larf.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

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Re: Bob

Bob360 ?

There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye

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Thats so last millenium

Surely what we see now was 1000 years ago ?

Perhaps its disappeared into own void now

Britain has no idea how close it came to ATMs flooding the streets with free money thanks to some crap code, 1970s style

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Pint

8 hole paper tape

...as all proper software should be

Pint as it brought back fond memories

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy

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Paris Hilton

Look at me

Oooh, I'm so big and masterful...

Er, isn't that your job Popeye? thats what you were supposed to do from the onset of this charade, no need to brag.

Paris, because anyone else would have acted right away.

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink

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Trollface

Re: It shouldn't be left to individuals

That involves the EU 'doing something useful' so I won't hold my breath

GCC 10 gets security bug trap. And look what just fell into it: OpenSSL and a prod-of-death flaw in servers and apps

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Re: El Reg (or the readership) really has changed

Otherwise known as El Regizeera

There are always two sides to every story – except this one, which is just a big billboard borked in all directions

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Re: BSOD have almost exclusively caused by hardware faults since Windows 7.

Think it's long before W7 for hardware faults, NT4.0 sprngs to mind.

French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle

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perhaps

It was just before mid-day when all French men enjoy an apero before lunch

sacre bleu, je suis en retard...

or something like that

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much

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Re: Wear face protection?

Get orrf my laaand... I'll 'ave the law on eee.

Farmer Palmer by any chance?

Four new bugs? You shouldn't have: Microsoft celebrates 45 years with dollop of borkage on Windows Insider Fast Ring

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Trollface

Re: Cake

like a Christmas pudding, contains a surprise* inside - * Not a silver sixpence...

Turd? They always come rolling back up the beach, just like the same old shit MS continues to pedal

Amazon says it fired a guy for breaking pandemic rules. Same guy who organized a staff protest over a lack of coronavirus protection

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Re: Wow!

donate zillions of dollars...

Thats tax deductable which is far more important to him than the health of his workforce, lets face it if a worker sadly dies, another will soon take their place.

Official: Office 365 Personal, Home axed next month... and replaced by Microsoft 365 cloud subscriptions

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Twats

Wasn't it just a few years ago they were dumping on home office promoting the subscription version was allegedly 'better' but more or less the same thing?

Thankfully, I'm well out of their ransomware but I do hope their next shit is a hedgehog.

European electric vehicle sales surged in Q4 2019 but only accounted for wafer-thin slice of total car purchases

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Re: Range & Time for a FULL charge

And make body panels out fo solar cells.

You can't hold black horse down: Brit bank Lloyds goes full multi-cloud, signs up with Google as well as Microsoft

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Devil

No no and no

That is all

Download this update from mybrowser.microsoft.com. Oh, sorry, that was malware on a hijacked sub-domain. Oops

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Trollface

Yes

The microsoft.com bit would instantly raise the alarm

OK, which Dombås stuffed Windows 10 to bursting at Swedish flatpack flinger?

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Fire exit?

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Re: "Relationship-ending"

You actually need instructions?

Meet Clippy 9000: Microsoft brags about building Earth's largest AI language model, refuses to let it out of the lab

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Mushroom

Hello

It looks like you are writing a letter...

With a MacBook Air?

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

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Re: "And given that the Y2K thing was a big fat zero,"

Agreed,

The testing was one thing but alongside that ran 'the other project' to silently update critical infrastructure that had been ignored.

Google Chrome will check for leaked credentials every time you sign in anywhere

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Re: Is this *another* attempt to smother me in Gmail shit ?

Agreed,

They can bash it where the sun don't shine.

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

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OK

Lets team up and fix this...

Lets not, just sort your own shit out cupcake

Brave, Google, Microsoft, Mozilla gather together to talk web privacy... and why we all shouldn't get too much of it

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And

pi-hole DNS

Google, Microsoft, Facebook etc and all their shyte domains to room 127

Beware the Friday afternoon 'Could you just..?' from the muppet who wants to come between you and your beer

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Mushroom

I used to say Yes!

Yes, I can fix that, looking at a dust filled pile o' shyte.

I'll give it the once and for all fix of 'The Landrover Treatment'

Oh, whats that then...

I put it behind the rear wheel of the Landie and reverse over it. Seems to fix everything.

Never get asked again.

WindiLeaks: 250 million Microsoft customer support records dating back to 2005 exposed to open internet

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Trollface

Support calls?

You need to re-install... x250million

If you never thought you'd hear a Microsoftie tell you to stop using Internet Explorer, lap it up: 'I beg you, let it retire to great bitbucket in the sky'

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Microsoft

Never was a web browser company and to take over twenty years to get rid of this shows.

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